The Shadow
()
About this ebook
Joseph Conrad
Joseph Conrad (1857–1924) und Ford Madox Ford (1873–1939) gehören zu den bedeutendsten Erzählern der modernen Literatur des 20. Jahrhunderts. In seinen vielschichtigen, auch vieldeutigen Romanen und Erzählungen knüpfte Conrad oft an die Erfahrungen seiner Seemannsjahre an. Die Romane von Ford Madox Ford haben an Wertschätzung in den letzten Jahrzehnten ständig zugenommen und gelten heute ebenfalls als Klassiker; er arbeitete viel und eng mit Joseph Conrad zusammen, mit dem er mehrere Bücher verfasste.
Read more from Joseph Conrad
Heart of Darkness: (Penguin Classics Deluxe Edition) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTyphoon Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Heart of Darkness: and Selections from The Congo Diary Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Chance Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHeart of Darkness and the Secret Sharer Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Portable Conrad Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLord Jim and Nostromo Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Secret Agent Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Secret Sharer Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Youth: A Narrative Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Victory: An Island Tale Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHeart of Darkness Thrift Study Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Modern Essays Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAlmayer's Folly: A Story of an Eastern River Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Secret Agent Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUnder Western Eyes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHeart of Darkness and the Secret Sharer Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Lord Jim Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Secret Agent Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Youth Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Shadowline Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Nigger of the "Narcissus" Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Duel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Shadow-Line: A Confession Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNostromo (Centaur Classics) [The 100 greatest novels of all time - #50] Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUNDER WESTERN EYES: An Intriguing Tale of Espionage and Betrayal in Czarist Russia Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Greatest Books of All Time Vol. 2 (Dream Classics) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to The Shadow
Related ebooks
The Shadow-Line: A Confession (Vintage Classics) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Shadow Line Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Shadow Line; a confession Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Shadow Line (Barnes & Noble Digital Library) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Shadow-Line: "To have his path made clear for him is the aspiration of every human being." Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Shadowline Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Shadow-Line by Joseph Conrad (Illustrated) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsChance Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSix Months at the Cape Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSix Months at the Cape Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsChance: "It is to be remarked that a good many people are born curiously unfitted for the fate waiting them on this earth." Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Arrow Of Gold Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Pirate of the Caribbees Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Snowball Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSauve Qui Peut: Stories Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Arrow of Gold: A Story Between Two Notes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Captain of the Pole-Star: And Other Stories Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Twixt Land and Sea Tales Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Captain of the Polestar, and Other Tales Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAn Irish Cousin (Barnes & Noble Digital Library) Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dead Men Tell No Tales Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHeart of Darkness: Including the Author's Notes + Youth: a Narrative + Heart of Darkness + The End of the Tether Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCatriona Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mutiny of the Elsinore Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Chance: A Tale in Two Parts Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Captain of the Polestar Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Chicago Princess Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTwixt Land & Sea Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Secret Sharer Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Caybigan Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Classics For You
The Color Purple Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Fellowship Of The Ring: Being the First Part of The Lord of the Rings Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Master & Margarita Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Flowers for Algernon Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dune Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Odyssey: (The Stephen Mitchell Translation) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Things They Carried Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A Farewell to Arms Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Silmarillion Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Confederacy of Dunces Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Wuthering Heights (with an Introduction by Mary Augusta Ward) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Rebecca Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Princess Bride: S. Morgenstern's Classic Tale of True Love and High Adventure Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Jungle: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Ulysses: With linked Table of Contents Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Poisonwood Bible: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Old Man and the Sea: The Hemingway Library Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mythos Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Learn French! Apprends l'Anglais! THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY: In French and English Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/520000 Leagues Under the Sea Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Little Women (Seasons Edition -- Winter) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Count of Monte Cristo (abridged) (Barnes & Noble Classics Series) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5We Have Always Lived in the Castle Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Persuasion Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Canterbury Tales Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Count of Monte-Cristo English and French Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Count of Monte Cristo Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5For Whom the Bell Tolls: The Hemingway Library Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sense and Sensibility (Centaur Classics) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for The Shadow
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
The Shadow - Joseph Conrad
SHADOW
THE SHADOW
PART ONE
--D'autre fois, calme plat, grand miroir De mon desespoir. --BAUDELAIRE
Chapter I
Only the young have such moments. I don't mean the very young. No. The very young have, properly speaking, no moments. It is the privilege of early youth to live in advance of its days in all the beautiful continuity of hope which knows no pauses and no introspection.
One closes behind one the little gate of mere boyishness--and enters an enchanted garden. Its very shades glow with promise. Every turn of the path has its seduction. And it isn't because it is an undiscovered country. One knows well enough that all mankind had streamed that way. It is the charm of universal experience from which one expects an uncommon or personal sensation--a bit of one's own.
One goes on recognizing the landmarks of the predecessors, excited, amused, taking the hard luck and the good luck together--the kicks and the half-pence, as the saying is--the picturesque common lot that holds so many possibilities for the deserving or perhaps for the lucky. Yes. One goes on. And the time, too, goes on-- till one perceives ahead a shadow-line warning one that the region of early youth, too, must be left behind.
This is the period of life in which such moments of which I have spoken are likely to come. What moments? Why, the moments of boredom, of weariness, of dissatisfaction. Rash moments. I mean moments when the still young are inclined to commit rash actions, such as getting married suddenly or else throwing up a job for no reason.
This is not a marriage story. It wasn't so bad as that with me. My action, rash as it was, had more the character of divorce--almost of desertion. For no reason on which a sensible person could put a finger I threw up my job--chucked my berth-
-left the ship of which the worst that could be said was that she was a steamship and therefore, perhaps, not entitled to that blind loyalty which However, it's
no use trying to put a gloss on what even at the time I myself half suspected to be a caprice.
It was in an Eastern port. She was an Eastern ship, inasmuch as then she belonged to that port. She traded among dark islands on a blue reef-scarred sea, with the Red Ensign over the taffrail and at her masthead a house-flag, also red, but with a green border and with a white crescent in it. For an Arab owned her, and a Syed at that. Hence the green border on the flag. He was the head of a great House of Straits Arabs, but as loyal a subject of the complex British Empire as you could find east of the Suez Canal. World politics did not trouble him at all, but he had a great occult power amongst his own people.
It was all one to us who owned the ship. He had to employ white men in the shipping part of his business, and many of those he so employed had never set eyes on him from the first to the last day. I myself saw him but once, quite accidentally on a wharf--an old, dark little man blind in one eye, in a snowy robe and yellow slippers. He was having his hand severely kissed by a crowd of Malay pilgrims to whom he had done some favour, in the way of food and money. His alms-giving, I have heard, was most extensive, covering almost the whole Archipelago. For isn't it said that The charitable man is the friend of Allah
?
Excellent (and picturesque) Arab owner, about whom one needed not to trouble one's head, a most excellent Scottish ship--for she was that from the keep up-- excellent sea-boat, easy to keep clean, most handy in every way, and if it had not been for her internal propulsion, worthy of any man's love, I cherish to this day a profound respect for her memory. As to the kind of trade she was engaged in and the character of my shipmates, I could not have been happier if I had had the life and the men made to my order by a benevolent Enchanter.
And suddenly I left all this. I left it in that, to us, inconsequential manner in which a bird flies away from a comfortable branch. It was as though all unknowing I had heard a whisper or seen something. Well--perhaps! One day I was perfectly right and the next everything was gone--glamour, flavour, interest, contentment--everything. It was one of these moments, you know. The green sickness of late youth descended on me and carried me off. Carried me off that ship, I mean.
We were only four white men on board, with a large crew of Kalashes and two Malay petty officers. The Captain stared hard as if wondering what ailed me. But he was a sailor, and he, too, had been young at one time. Presently a smile came to lurk under his thick iron-gray moustache, and he observed that, of course, if I felt I must go he couldn't keep me by main force. And it was arranged that I should be paid off the next morning. As I was going out of his cabin he added suddenly, in a peculiar wistful tone, that he hoped I would find what I was so anxious to go and look for. A soft, cryptic utterance which seemed to reach deeper than any diamond-hard tool could have done. I do believe he understood my case.
But the second engineer attacked me differently. He was a sturdy young Scot, with a smooth face and light eyes. His honest red countenance emerged out of the engine-room companion and then the whole robust man, with shirt sleeves turned up, wiping slowly the massive fore-arms with a lump of cotton-waste. And his light eyes expressed bitter distaste, as though our friendship had turned to ashes. He said weightily: Oh! Aye! I've been thinking it was about time for you to run away home and get married to some silly girl.
It was tacitly understood in the port that John Nieven was a fierce misogynist; and the absurd character of the sally convinced me that he meant to be nasty-- very nasty--had meant to say the most crushing thing he could think of. My laugh sounded deprecatory. Nobody but a friend could be so angry as that. I became a little crestfallen. Our chief engineer also took a characteristic view of my action, but in a kindlier spirit.
He was young, too, but very thin, and with a mist of fluffy brown beard all round his haggard face. All day long, at sea or in harbour, he could be seen walking hastily up and down the after-deck, wearing an intense, spiritually rapt expression, which was caused by a perpetual consciousness of unpleasant physical sensations in his internal economy. For he was a confirmed dyspeptic. His view of my case was very simple. He said it was nothing but deranged liver. Of course! He suggested I should stay for another trip and meantime dose myself with a certain patent medicine in which his own belief was absolute. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll buy you two bottles, out of my own pocket. There. I can't say fairer than that, can I?
I believe he would have perpetrated the atrocity (or generosity) at the merest sign of weakening on my part. By that time, however, I was more discontented, disgusted, and dogged than ever. The past eighteen months, so full of new and varied experience, appeared a dreary, prosaic waste of days. I felt--how shall I express it?--that there was no truth to be got out of them.
What truth? I should have been hard put to it to explain. Probably, if pressed, I would have burst into tears simply. I was young enough for that.
Next day the Captain and I transacted our business in the Harbour Office. It was a lofty, big, cool, white room, where the screened light of day glowed serenely.
Everybody in it--the officials, the public--were in white. Only the heavy polished desks gleamed darkly in a central avenue, and some papers lying on them were blue. Enormous punkahs sent from on high a gentle draught through that immaculate interior and upon our perspiring heads.
The official behind the desk we approached grinned amiably and kept it up till, in answer to his perfunctory question, Sign off and on again?
my Captain answered, No! Signing off for good.
And then his grin vanished in sudden solemnity. He did not look at me again till he handed me my papers with a sorrowful expression, as if they had been my passports for Hades.
While I was putting them away he murmured some question to the Captain, and I heard the latter answer good-humouredly:
No. He leaves us to go home.
Oh!
the other exclaimed, nodding mournfully over my sad condition.
I didn't know him outside the official building, but he leaned forward the desk to shake hands with me, compassionately, as one would with some poor devil going out to be hanged; and I am afraid I performed my part ungraciously, in the hardened manner of an impenitent criminal.
No homeward-bound mail-boat was due for three or four days. Being now a man without a ship, and having for a time broken my connection with the sea-- become, in fact, a mere potential passenger--it would have been more appropriate perhaps if I had gone to stay at an hotel. There it was, too, within a stone's throw of the Harbour Office, low, but somehow palatial, displaying its white, pillared pavilions surrounded by trim grass plots. I would have felt a passenger indeed in there! I gave it a hostile glance and directed my steps toward the Officers' Sailors' Home.
I walked in the sunshine, disregarding it, and in the shade of the big trees on the esplanade without enjoying it. The heat of the tropical East descended through the leafy boughs, enveloping my thinly-clad body, clinging to my rebellious discontent, as if to rob it of its freedom.
The Officers' Home was a large bungalow with a wide verandah and a curiously suburban-looking little garden of bushes and a few trees between it and the street. That institution partook somewhat of the character of a residential club, but with a slightly Governmental flavour about it, because it was administered by the Harbour Office. Its manager was officially styled Chief Steward. He was an unhappy, wizened little man, who if put into a jockey's rig would have looked the part to perfection. But it was obvious that at some time or other in his life, in some capacity or other, he had been connected with the sea. Possibly in the comprehensive capacity of a failure.
I should have thought his employment a very easy one, but he used to affirm for
some reason or other that his job would be the death of him some day. It was rather mysterious. Perhaps everything naturally was too much trouble for him. He certainly seemed to hate having people in the house.
On entering it I thought he must be feeling pleased. It was as still as a tomb. I could see no one in the living rooms; and the verandah, too, was empty, except for a man at the far end dozing prone in a long chair. At the noise of my footsteps he opened one horribly fish-like eye. He was a stranger to me. I retreated from there, and crossing the dining room--a very bare apartment with a motionless punkah hanging over the centre table--I knocked at a door labelled in black letters: Chief Steward.
The answer to my knock being a vexed and doleful plaint: "Oh, dear! Oh, dear! What