Reduced To A Whisper

Introduction

What started as a journal has evolved over two decades into this book. This is my living tapestry, depicting scenes from an ordinary woman’s life, one who was desperately seeking Truth and her true identity. Alone, I would have been left only knowing the knotted, tangled mass of the seemingly insignificant threads of my existence. But I discovered that I could hear the voice of God and feel His Presence, and His words of encouragement would continually unveil the finished side of this tapestry.

Over the years, I have experienced the same truth as the prophet, Elijah. The Lord was not in the wind that was so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces. He was not in the earthquake or fire. 1 Kings 19:11-12, NRSV) I was being trained to recognize the Whisper of His voice heard within sheer silence.

He has not changed. He still speaks, Let there be light. And there it is—revelation… understanding… His perspective… bringing peace. His ways, His interpretation of my circumstances helps my mind to bend, my thoughts to shift, my heart to soften, my emotions to settle, and there is rest. This process takes time, listening time, alert and hushed… moments that I have to fight for.

My son wrote a song a few years back that I believe captures the spirit of the age. There is a line in the chorus that says, Everybody talking, nobody listens, nobody listens, nobody listens. (Nobody Listen, Lifehouse)

Never in the history of mankind have we ever been so inundated with noise and distraction. We now have at our fingertips devices that have the potential to fill our ears, eyes and minds with everything imaginable. The cell phone, iPad and computer have captured the attention of all, from infants to the elderly. They offer an endless variety of options, from movies and games to minute by minute updates on absolutely everything and everybody.

For many, these devices are consuming every waking hour of the day with ongoing clatter. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the benefits of this technological age. I just wonder—what will be the ongoing fruit of the new habits being established, in some cases, addictions that are actually being embraced? What is happening to our ability to think critically and have common sense? What is behind the growing disconnect between our ability to know the difference between right and wrong? What happened to our ability to love and accept others who have differing opinions, not to mention authentic relational connection? What happened to the value of rest and peace and quiet reflection? And what has become of the skill of listening, not only to others but especially to our Creator?

I have spent a lifetime learning the value of stepping back, stopping the onslaught of busyness, saying no to distractions and bridling my thoughts into submission. I have been on a mission to train myself to be aware of the hidden spiritual realities, to dig for the treasured nuggets that are unseen and to listen for Wisdom’s voice, which is available to all but can only be heard within the environment of solitude. This journey has led me to the True Source of all that is good and right. I have discovered Life which is embodied within a deep relationship with the Godhead.

If you are a seeker, if you are worn out from the hectic, empty existence that we have created, and if you are longing for a fulfilling, joyful pathway to lead you into a restful Presence, then this book is for you. When someone is whispering and you want to hear them, you must lean in to hear them. To think deeply, you need quiet. You need time. You must draw away. Reduced to a Whisper is an invitation into a spiritual, relational connection with our Divine Family, which happens naturally as we disconnect from the things of this world. If we reduce the noise, reduce the busyness, if we choose to reduce the clutter of fruitless activity, we eventually find ourselves returning to our roots—walking and talking with our Creator in a garden of simplicity, drinking deeply from the Living Water that flows within us. And because we are in the Presence of Awe, we find that we are the ones who are reduced to a whisper.

Leaning In

Each time we come face to face with a new awareness of Truth, we are at a crossroads. I felt strongly that our Holy Counselor had opened a window of opportunity for unusual breakthroughs. His words to me were, If we lean in to hear His voice and make a choice to change our thinking, exponential growth is possible. As a life coach, I want to maximize your opportunity for growth and offer some powerful questions at the end of each chapter which might assist you in this process. My prayer is that as you hear my stories, you might lean in and find God within yours.

Stand at the crossing, and consider the ancient path, for it is good and it leads to Me. Walk on this path, and you will find rest for your souls. (Jeremiah 6:16, The Voice)

1

Fall

The Release of an Identity

For the past few years, I have been on a quest, a journey of discovery. It began in November as I knelt beside my mother’s bed. Her breathing changed in the wee hours of the morning. There was a warm Holy Presence of Peace, allowing our hearts to embrace for one last long hug. Each breath was followed by an increasing stillness. I could feel her reluctance to leave and yet in the deep hush, I felt an unexpected excitement for her, knowing that she was finally standing at the doorway of her heart’s desire—to be with Jesus. I will always treasure this moment. This was our last mother-daughter experience together on this side of eternity. It is sacred to me. It was my mother’s arms that held me when the Breath of God first entered my newborn lungs. Now, as her daughter, I was given the honor of holding her as she was released into the whisper of His voice calling her home.

I don’t understand how it happened, but that same gentle call began a release within my own heart that day. Perhaps it was Mom’s last prayer for me as she caught a glimpse of her own heavenly identity.

I awoke this morning aching for her. Maybe because summer is coming to an end and November is quickly approaching. The frosty morning air nips at my toes. With the chill, every shade of yellow, orange, gold and red have been splattered throughout the countryside. It is as if the Master Gardener has splashed His warmth through the full spectrum of autumn hues, transforming our landscape. My hand steadies the hot mug of coffee as a chill moves down my spine. I can feel them both—Mom and our Comforter.

A smile lifts my cheek as I peer out at the hills behind my home. They are covered with evergreens—pine trees, spruce, firs and my favorite, the cedar. She assumes her majestic stance and rises tall amongst them all. Each one appears to be so confident and steady, able to bend and sway in a heavenly dance that awakens my heart to the possibilities of a fulfilled life.

I am mesmerized by the view stretching across our nine acres. As I behold the boundless diversity of color and texture, I am awestruck by the nobility that stands before me. The gentle breeze and the song of the birds create a stillness in my mind, enabling me to hear their story, and I am moved by their tune.

It has been a fruitful year. Our apple trees have produced a bountiful crop, and they have served us well. Now with the coming of winter, they willingly yield to the gentle breeze of their Creator the very leaves that once covered and defined them. They will stand shamelessly bare in the days to come and very still as we prune them, embracing the wisdom that the loving cut from our gardener will surely bring increase for the coming year.

I found myself wanting to stand and applaud them, but the ache within my chest would not allow me to move. Oh, that I would be so in tune with my Maker, so assured of His tender touch that I would gladly release the stronghold—MY will, MY control, over MY life!

As if in response to my thoughts, there began a crescendo in the sound of the wind stirring the trees. The lyrics being sung were not just stroking all of my senses, but somehow they were opening a window within my soul to embrace the words of my mysterious, soothing Comforter.

That’s what Love does. That is what Jesus did for you. gladly released… control… His life… for yours.

I have tasted of God’s goodness, and the wonder of His kindness in sending His Son leaves me with a longing that cries, I want to change. Father, who do YOU say that I am? Like these trees, He has planted me. His forgiveness has been the root system that has nourished and sustained me. And in His mercy, the autumn winds continue to strip me.

Come Away with Me

My thoughts returned to Mom as I relived our last moments together. Following her death, my two children both left home to follow their own dreams. I awoke one morning and realized that this was the first time in my entire life that I had ever lived totally alone. I had learned to be a survivor. For five years following my divorce, every waking hour I was consumed with the weight of responsibility to provide and care for my children. Now, as I found myself peering into the empty nest, a gentle nudge, "Come away with Me", began to draw my weary soul into a place of rest that I had never known before. The more time I spent in the quiet solitude with Jesus, the more I craved it.

The stress of survival living had wound me up so tight that it took a full two years to retrain my mind to be still and my body to relax. Many times, I felt like an overactive two-year-old. It seemed impossible to sit and just be quiet. My mind would continually wander off, and then I would run back to His side just to make sure He was still there.

Those were the days of an awakening, a dawning that revealed the hidden places in my heart. I began to realize what a performer I had become. The motive behind almost everything I did was to please. As a child, I wanted the approval of Mom and Dad, so I made a valiant attempt to be the perfect daughter. I was driven to be quiet, obedient and helpful.

As a young girl, I gave up playing house and dolls, and instead I dug out the underbrush and helped to create forts with my brothers. I climbed trees and constructed tree houses. If I was to be accepted by my three brothers, I had to fit into their world, so I pushed myself (unsuccessfully, I might add) to out-run, out-climb and even out-fight them. The interesting thing is that even though outwardly I