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    In the Becoming: carrying on after life derails: carrying on after life derails
    In the Becoming: carrying on after life derails: carrying on after life derails
    In the Becoming: carrying on after life derails: carrying on after life derails
    Ebook144 pages1 hour

    In the Becoming: carrying on after life derails: carrying on after life derails

    By Jocelyn Faire

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    About this ebook

    In the Becoming is a spiritually reflective look at life in the aftermath of severe loss.


    Adversity comes in all shapes and sizes. From the moemnt we are born we are trained to expect adversity, trained to overcome it. But there are times it overcomes us.


    And where do we go from there? What will become of us

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSiretona Creative
    Release dateNov 12, 2020
    ISBN9781988983141
    In the Becoming: carrying on after life derails: carrying on after life derails

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      Book preview

      In the Becoming - Jocelyn Faire

      in the

      Becoming

      carrying on after life derails

      Jocelyn Faire

      Copyright © 2020 by Jocelyn Faire

      First Edition — November 2020

      ISBN

      978-1-988983-13-4 (Paperback)

      978-1-988983-14-1 (eBook)

      All rights reserved.

      Short portions of the author’s words may be quoted without permssion, but should be credited.

      No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form, or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information browsing, storage, or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

      Bible references from The Message (NavPress) unless otherwise noted.

      Cover Design by Ellen Hooge

      Cover photo Jocelyn Faire

      Produced by

      Siretona Creative

      Calgary, AB, Canada

      www.siretona.com

      Distributed to the trade by The Ingram Book Company

      in the

      Becoming

      In the Becoming was the girl, and the girl was with God,

      and God was with the girl in becoming.

      Darkness was upon her face.

      As Spirit moved upon the face of the girl

      without breath and void

      and the void overtook.

      In becoming, the girl took over

      and wrestled with God

      as deep called to deep

      and in that moment

      she struggled with the call

      that remained

      to become for a time, for a season

      because the time would soon come

      for her to

      Be-coming home to herself.

      ~ ~ ~

      The walls you’re rebuilding are never out of my sight.

      Isaiah 49:16

      Dedication

      In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

      Albert Schweitzer

      Precious to me are the many women who have rekindled my inner spirit on the becoming journey. This book is dedicated to those women, some named here.

      My deepest gratitude to my daughter on the planet, Kristen Naomi – you inspire and encourage, you radiate light. I am delighted to be your mother. Your ongoing reminder that my story wasn’t finished yet has kept me going.

      My mother, Margaret Krahn – from you I learned to detest gossip and to maintain a positive attitude in difficult times. You sewed more than clothes for your children, you sewed love, perseverance, and celebration into our lives.

      My dear surrogate daughter, Nicky Wales – I was privileged to be called Mum by you. I wanted to tell you that you were named in my book, sadly you left too soon. See you in heaven.

      Rita, Edith, Gloria, Vicki, Debbie, Dorothy – as soul sisters you have shared tears and laughter adding immense beauty in a most becoming way. A special thank you to Rita for excellent editing input.

      Maisha – my granddaughter whose very name means life. May you continue your journey to becoming a beautiful young woman.

      My new daughters-in-law Michelle, Charlene, Heather – thank you for acceptance and love.

      Ingun, Judy in Australia, Carol, sweet Catherine, Kari – other mother hearts bonded through loss and inspiring in their tenacity.

      Madeleine, Eva, Penny, Karen, Audrey – new friends in new places.

      Thank you, Ellen – for cover design and encouragement to continue this project.

      Thank you, Colleen – for publishing support in a lovely personal manner.

      Thank you to many other women of character who add beauty to life through conversations, writing, supportive prayers and hugs. Because of you, we all smile more and cry less.

      I do thank one very special man in my life, Harold, for infusing my life with love, adventure, and belonging. What a gift!

      Preamble

      My, isn’t she BECOMING ...

      But becoming what?

      And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through.

      Anaïs Nin

      Becoming is a spiritually reflective look at life, in the aftermath of severe loss. Adversity comes in all shapes and sizes. From the moment we are born we are trained to expect adversity, trained to overcome it. But there are times when it overcomes us. And where do we go from there? What will become of us when it overwhelms?

      As part of an ever-changing life landscape, it intrigues me that becoming is verb, noun, and adjective. As a verb it indicates transition, as a noun it means the process of coming to be something or of passing into a state, and as an adjective, becoming describes a person with attractive qualities.

      These stories reflect the progress of ideas and action worked through to rebuild a solid life foundation with attractive qualities. Each story or poem bears fruit of that process of sifting through the rubble of life beliefs and unmet expectations. These stories do not follow an exact chronological order, as it often requires more than one sifting through for new concepts to truly take hold.

      I am amazed at the power my choices have to move my life story in the direction I want it to head. Although I would never wish tragedy on another person, the becoming journey has proved to be life-giving. I invite you to join me in this rebuilding process, of becoming someone renewed, a becoming change.

      This is my becoming.

      Contents

      Preamble

      Part One

      Becoming at Peace

      Facing History

      Myopic Vision

      Circular Becoming

      The ID Crisis

      Searching for Self

      Do the Math

      Shedding the Old Skin

      Part Two

      Where the Journey Takes Us

      Lessons from Down Under and Beyond

      Shooting Raw by Default

      Roland

      Amanda

      Mark

      Bitter Coffee and a Plastic Rose

      The Sound of My Own Voice

      Part Three 59

      Becoming Educated 59

      She Has a PhD

      Lessons from the Slopes

      Lessons From The Lanes

      Joy Snatchers

      Innocent Violations

      Closing the Gap

      Pat Answers

      Part Four

      Seasons of the Soul

      Seasonally Affected

      Soul Seasons

      The Advent-ure Begins with Hope

      Peace of Mind Advent-ure

      The Advent-ure of Joy and SAD

      Love of Advent-ure

      The Easter Sting

      The Easter Hallelujah

      Pushing through Thick and Thin

      Part Five

      Becoming Open: Helps Along the Way

      Chasing the Light

      The Call of Beauty

      Kayak Moon Chasing

      Conversations with I AM

      Part Six

      Stumbling Towards Grace and Resolution

      Victory Redefined

      My Choice

      Moniker Matters ... What’s in a name?

      Home is Where you Hang your Heart ...

      Ride the Moving Wave

      Rebuilding Walls

      Let me Bloom

      Epilogue

      Recommended Books

      About the Author

      in the

      Becoming ...

      Part One

      History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.

      Maya Angelou

      Becoming at Peace

      with History

      Once upon a time ...

      There was a young woman

      who lived in a shoe

      with a husband and three children

      They knew what to do

      They lived, they loved, they danced, and they laughed.

      And then just like that

      the shoe collapsed

      the fairy tale ending ... disappeared.

      Facing History

      If only hindsight were given ahead of time.

      Over twenty years ago at a Sunday School teachers’ conference, the keynote speaker shared thoughts from her mother’s funeral. Seeing her mother in the casket she said, Finally Mom, your struggling can cease. Her mother had experienced a lifetime of questions and self-doubts, and now in death appeared at peace.

      When I was eighteen with a high school diploma in hand and a starry future ahead of me, I felt that I could conquer the world. Buoyed by the confidence that came from growing up a small-town girl at the top of the class, I thought I knew a lot. In my twenties I realized the world was a much bigger place, and after some travel, I saw that I was a small player in a very big world. But I still had ideals into my thirties and thought that by forty I might have it all together, whatever I thought that meant. The forties turned into another decade of transition; those children I’d birthed earlier were becoming adults themselves. As I recognized pieces of myself in them, I laughed at how little I had known at that age, and how it would take a lifetime to figure out this thing we call life. It has always been easy to solve world problems from the armchair of a theoretical stance, over a coffee with like-minded people. How many times the world has been saved over lattes?

      At the end of my forties, I was becoming more of who I wanted to be, and I could see that the world was expanding and that there was more to life than what had been tasted thus far. At my fiftieth birthday party, I announced that I had lived too much of my life with a sense of cautious optimism, as though waiting for the sky to fall in, and in front of that supportive group I released that caution, intending to live full and free from then on. I declared that God had proved trustworthy; and

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