Heal Your Cells. Save Your Life!: Restore the body God gave you and feel great again!
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About this ebook
Dr. Crozier understands what it is like to suffer from chronic pain and to feel marginalized, ignored, or be told that it must be “all in your head.” He believes God used his experiences to make him a better doctor and to give you hope through integrative, genetic-based, and cellular medicine. In this book you’ll learn how
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Heal Your Cells. Save Your Life! - Dr. Gordon Crozier
CHAPTER 1
My Story From Sickness to Health
I realized that I wasn’t the only one out there experiencing this level of misery. There was a whole community of patients experiencing similar exhaustive, life altering struggles who all needed a miracle
There was only one answer, self amputation bi-laterally of my legs. I needed to stay alive for my family, so killing myself was not an option, but the pain in my legs was too much. It had to stop. I was a surgeon, I could just cut them off myself. If my legs were gone then the pain had to go away too. My legs hurt so badly that I began to seriously contemplate submerging them in ice water and sawing them both off. My brain was screaming at me to try to find a way to stop the pain and nothing short of amputating them seemed to provide a possible solution.
Logically, I knew that this was not the right answer, but when the pain in your brain is screaming so loudly that you can’t hear your own thoughts, you fantasize about any possible solution to ending that pain. At my lowest point, I would not have hesitated to remove them if I knew that it meant that the intense pain that had overtaken my legs and my life would stop for good.
Every day for months, my routine had been the same, I would wake up and try to function in extreme pain while hiding behind a mask that all was well so no one could see what was truly going on. I was a doctor, an OB/GYN. I delivered babies, did complex surgeries, and dealt with other people in extreme pain on a daily basis. Surely, I could get through this. After all, I had a wife and six beautiful children at home depending on me.
However, this wasn’t the type of acute pain that ends with the reward of a precious baby birthed into your arms, nor was it the post-surgery pain that although severe at first, gradually tapers off over time. This pain began in my lower back and shot down my legs as if someone had placed searing-hot irons in my bones while my skin felt as if it were riddled with shards of glass. Each step that I took felt like a marathon run on shattered bones and standing felt as if my lower extremities were on fire.
For months the pain had been increasing but determined to continue with my work, I tried to survive it as best as I could. What many people don’t know is that just to be in constant pain itself is exhausting. It wears you down physically, emotionally, mentally, and eventually, it will scream for attention so loudly that you won’t be able to ignore it anymore.
For me, that watershed moment in my pain journey came at the end of a gynecological surgery that I was performing. Throughout the day, my pain level had been building up and increased with each case that I worked. As I stood during an hour-long surgery the pain began to crescendo until I woke up on the floor, having blacked out presumably from the pain or possibly from a secondary cause to whatever was fighting it within my body. My surgical staff was shocked and attended to me while also safely closing up the patient.
What happened that day changed the trajectory of my life in more ways than I could have ever imagined. I was put on short term medical disability from the University of Kentucky where I was a faculty member and was sent to find answers to the physical pain in my legs that had been plaguing me for so long.
As a doctor, you might think that I would get special treatment while a patient, but I assure you that this is incorrect. In this process, I became a patient just like anyone else, but it is also where I learned some of the most frustrating, yet invaluable lessons.
Some of you have been through the exact same steps that they put me through: first the standard blood panels (CBC and CMP) that revealed nothing, then tests for Rheumatoid Arthritis that revealed low levels of positive RA factor which was then factored out, pain prescriptions to mask all of the symptoms, and when in doubt...injections. When the injections failed, they recommended bulging disc surgery which I refused because I knew that not only were these mild issues, but that at any given time if given an x-ray people can have bulging or slipped discs in many areas of their spine without ever knowing and they rarely cause significant pain. I knew this to be the case with myself.
I had struggled with depression for much of my life, but the physical pain that I was in each day poured powerful waves of depression and hopelessness over me. The doctors prescribed Cymbalta as it dually helps with depression and pain, yet I still couldn’t imagine living every day of my life in such a severe state of agony. If it hadn’t been for my wife and children, I don’t know that I would have been able to keep moving forward day after day. Even while taking five powerful medications and series after series of injections that did not seem to help, the pain was so severe that it made life each day seem unbearable. It was then that I began to fantasize about just removing my legs myself. If I couldn’t end my life then maybe I could just end the cause of the pain.
I’m sure that to a lot of you this sounds extreme, but to those of you who have been where I was and have reached that level of pain, you understand it because you have felt it. I’m sorry that you have gone or are going through this, but as awful as it was and as much as I wish that I had never had to feel that level of sustained pain, what I learned from my experience was that God needed to teach me something and sometimes he uses fire to refine us.
As I sat just like any other patient in waiting room after waiting room, I grew increasingly frustrated. I would spend thirty to forty-five minutes waiting for a doctor who would spend one-third of that time listening to me. The doctor would evaluate me, try to treat my symptoms such as my pain, and if no immediate answer could be found, I would either be told to return in several months or passed onto the next specialist. Over the next several months I saw a series of doctors and felt more like a case file and less like person who happened to be a patient. I left one family practitioner to go to one who I thought might be more understanding, then an internist, a psychiatrist, neurosurgeons, neurologists, spinal surgeons, an immunologist, an infectious disease specialist, and after a while I felt as if I was just being passed from doctor to doctor. They knew something was wrong but no one had a solution. Therefore it was easier to make it someone else’s problem. Historically, in traditional medicine, this is usually the point where they determine that either it is all in the patient’s head or they diagnose it as being a lifelong or chronic condition with no hope for the future except for palliative care in the form of drugs. As a patient, I would have no choice, but to accept the diagnosis, but as a physician, I decided I had no choice except to do everything in my power to prove either diagnosis wrong.
Meanwhile, the pain would have left me bedridden had it not been for my innate stubbornness and desire to push myself to learn something new every day. When you are in constant pain, your life becomes pain centric in that you can not stop yourself from thinking about pain and therefore my quest to learn something new daily became about how to heal myself.
With my brain clouded by medication and my focus torn by the extreme pain burning throughout my legs, I refused to accept this as my new normal and I was determined to regain my life for the sake of my family. Daily, I repeated the excruciating process of dragging myself from my bed and studying to try to find answers. It was through this process that I realized that I wasn’t the only one out there experiencing this level of misery. There was a whole community of patients experiencing similar exhaustive, life-altering struggles who all needed a miracle. I was one man drowning in a sea of many who were as desperate to survive as I was. So, as much as possible, I utilized my temporary disability time to study.
While the pain from my legs had overtaken most of the attention of my brain, I knew that there had been other symptoms prior to the symptoms in my legs. These seemed separate, but I did not want to rule out any possible correlation or connection. At the age of sixteen, I had been diagnosed with what was then referred to as