Kelvin's Journey: A Story of a Mother's Love and Life in Accordance to GOD'S Purpose

Chapter

1

My Dad

Igrew up in Richmond, Virginia in the 1980s. Drugs were everywhere, and violence was part of the culture, but my father always had hopes for a better life for us.

‘Baby, I want you to leave Virginia, travel and see the world,’ he told me, again and again. ‘Join the army. Make a better life for yourself.’

I promised him I would; it wasn’t hard to make promises to my dad, as his love for me was so clear. Anyway, I had talked about traveling and leaving VA myself. Almost all my classmates were in jail, strung out on drugs or dead. My sister was boy-crazy, and my brothers were in and out of trouble. With them, I had dabbled in drugs and alcohol, but I didn’t like it, and I knew Dad wanted better for me. Joining the military was the obvious way to get out, but it would take the biggest shock of my young life to make it happen.

I was the baby girl of the family of six kids, with four brothers and one sister. Even though my dad was actually my step-dad, our family was very stable and together. My mom ‘wore the pants’; she was the disciplinarian. Dad was always the calm and quiet one. He was a gentle giant of sorts, never raising his voice. He never had to: we all knew what he wanted without him saying a word.

Dad loved to have his hair combed, and he had a beautiful head of thick curly hair. I would always scratch his head at night. Sometimes I would dye his hair as well. He would also dye it as well. He was the best father anyone could have hoped for, and I wanted to please him any way I could.

I was the youngest of five until my brother Charles came along after me. All of us were Dad’s stepchildren except for Charles. But Charles was so big everyone still took me for the youngest and watched out for me. I was considered the baby, as the smallest and scariest kid in the bunch. I was never left alone; my brothers used to escort me everywhere I went. I grew up as a tomboy, at home with my brothers. My sister was different from me – always boy crazy – whereas I didn’t like boys and used to beat them up. I played football and basketball. Anything my brothers could do I could do too. We were a close-knit family, always together, thanks to Mom. She also took us to church every Sunday. Even when my parents had to work, Mom dropped us off at church and picked us up afterward. My parents didn’t argue as I recall; if they did, it was behind closed doors. We kids never had any major problems getting on together, and if we did, and we couldn’t solve it, Mom solved it.

One time my dad went hunting and came home with a rabbit, which he skinned and cleaned. My brothers saw an opportunity for some fun and chased me around the yard with the rabbit head. I was so afraid that I tried to leave home. I actually packed my bags and said I was leaving. When my mom caught wind of it, she beat my butt good. After that, she beat my brothers’.

‘Why did I get a beating?’ I asked.

‘Because you tried to run away,’ she answered. ‘I love you, and I’d die of worry if you ever left home.’

Our home was a nice one. Both parents worked, Dad during the day and Mom and night. They made sure one parent was always available for us, so we’d stay out of trouble. Mom sent us outside to play every day—even in the snow, which I didn’t much like, but we loved it when she would play with us. My sister and I spent every summer helping out at our grandparents’ home. And we always sat at the dinner table together each night. Mom always cooked, at least up until she taught me how.

My oldest brother Tim moved out first. I cried because he and my mom had argued a lot. I wasn’t sure what it was about, but he was very stubborn, not wanting to listen to my mom. After that, my sister moved in with her boyfriend. We had bumped heads a lot as I got older; she wanted to wear my clothes but wouldn’t allow me to wear hers, but I cried like a baby when she moved out. Besides, now all the responsibility fell on me to cook and clean the house.

I was quite sheltered and naïve, I suppose, never able to go anywhere without my family or my brothers. I didn’t go to school events or hang out with my friends. Having a big family, I used to see my brothers and sister get into trouble all the time—I knew what not to do. Also, I wanted to please my parents, so I did not get into much trouble and stayed close to home.

When I graduated from high school at the age of 17, I had had enough of school and didn’t want to go to college; besides, I had already told my dad I would be joining the military at some point. I was eager to be on my own. I was confident and was ready because my mom taught me how to take care of myself. I moved out, started working at two drug stores and got my own apartment.

I had learned to be independent from Mom. I knew how to take care of myself because I had been taking care of my family, cooking and cleaning, from an early age. I even knew how to make bill payments and talk with creditors about making payment arrangements. Being on my own also gave me a real sense of confidence, independence, and maturity.

Being so independent didn’t stop my wonderful dad taking care of me though. He’d come to my apartment after he got off work just to sit and talk to me. I kept his beer in my fridge, and we’d sit and have a chat, just about our day, and things on our minds. My mother later told me that while I lived away from home, my father used to sit outside at nights to watch over me. He had asked my mother to not tell anyone. He would also pick me up from work in the evenings so that I would not have to ride the bus at night. He was protective, and I never wanted to disappoint him. Mom and I were close, but it was nothing like the relationship I had with my dad.

At 19, I had progressed in my career to becoming a manager. I ran two stores simultaneously and had several employees under me. However, it was also the age at which I received the biggest shock of my life.

It was March 1988, and I received a phone call while at work. Dad had had a heart attack. My father had died.

I was devastated.

At some point, when I left work, I fainted. When I woke up, people were surrounding me. I didn’t know where I was, or what time it was. All I knew was that I had lost everything. I had lost the greatest father ever.

All I remember from the funeral was a conversation between some of the guests.

‘How many children?’

‘Ten altogether.’

‘No way, really?’

‘Six with this wife. Four with the first.’

‘He’s a rolling stone with all those kids,’ said someone, making a joke. I didn’t think it was funny.

‘Shut up,’ I told him. ‘You didn’t know my father.’

After my father’s passing, my mom and I became closer. Dad had been the biggest provider as far as income goes, so I stuck around for a few months to help Mom pay the bills.

When the time seemed right, however, I was ready to leave. I no longer wanted to be Richmond. My dad had been my best friend, and I felt I wanted to fulfill my promise to him.

When I told my mom that I would be joining the Army, she was surprised. Dad and I had talked about me joining up quite a lot, and I had promised him that I would. I mentioned it to my family after his funeral, but I think they weren’t convinced that I would go through with it.

I was going to see the world, make a better life for myself, and do my dad proud.

Chapter

2

In the Army Now

Ijoined the military in Columbia, South Carolina, enlisting under the delayed entry program which means I signed up in the summer time but did not swear in until November. I was scared when