Improve Your Conversations: Think on Your Feet, Witty Banter, and Always Know What to Say with Improv Comedy Techniques
By Patrick King
4.5/5
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Improv Comedy
Conversation Skills
Social Interaction
Confidence
Emotional Intelligence
Fish Out of Water
Mentorship
Importance of Listening
Hero's Journey
Self-Discovery
Mentor Figure
Self-Improvement
Journey
Chekhov's Gun
Power of Positivity
Improvisation
Communication
Storytelling
Conversation
Spontaneity
About this ebook
No more blanking or awkward silences. No more running out of things to say and struggling to keep others engaged.
(1) Conversation isn’t scripted, (2) it’s 100% unpredictable, and (3) it can be terrifying at times. How do you prepare for such a thing? By learning how to apply improv comedy techniques to roll with any punch and improve your conversations and social interactions.
Become quicker and more clever in daily conversation.
Improv(e) Your Conversations teaches the ingenious rules of improv comedy that allow performers to turn boring prompts into memorable interactions worthy of standing ovations. This means there are real frameworks and templates to escape interview mode small talk – and start connecting and building rapport from the moment you say “Hello.” This book goes through over 15 of the most helpful and insightful improv comedy techniques with countless real-life examples to make you a great talker.
Learn the conversational secrets of the world’s best comedians.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.
Over 15 actionable tips that are actually practical and relateable.
•The three easy ways to always know what to say, even when your mind goes blank.
•What Sherlock Holmes has to do with great rapport.
•How to read people better and what to look for.
•The one goal you must always keep in mind (that you probably don’t even know).
Adapt, witty comeback, reply, and charm in record time.
•What causes awkward silences and how to prevent them.
•How your conversation should resemble a movie.
•How to “flip the switch” to be more entertaining.
Read more from Patrick King
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Book preview
Improve Your Conversations - Patrick King
Techniques
Improv(e) Your Conversations:
Think on Your Feet, Witty Banter, and Always Know What to Say with Improv Comedy Techniques (2nd Edition)
By Patrick King
Social Interaction and Conversation Coach at www.PatrickKingConsulting.com
< < CLICK HERE for your FREE 25-PAGE MINIBOOK: Conversation Tactics, Worksheets, and Exercises. > >
--9 proven techniques to avoid awkward silence
--How to be scientifically funnier and more likable
--How to be wittier and quicker instantly
--Making a great impression with anyone
Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1. Improvisation Implementation
Conversation = improv
Spontaneity and Flow
Emotional Intelligence
Play
Make it Easy
How to gain confidence
Chapter 2. Always say Yes, AND…
Going with the flow
It's not about agreement or disagreement—it’s about flow
Getting to the root of no, but
Chapter 3. Read and React to Everything
Learn to hear between the lines
Listen for emotion
Be generous with your attention
Chapter 4. Be More Specific
Go for depth, not breadth
The best conversations are one of a kind
A statement can be a question
Chapter 5. Details, Details, Details
Details are conversational handles—something to hold on to
Find the details, and you find the emotion
Chapter 6. No No
No
stops the flow
Are you shutting things down, or opening them up?
The art of coming back from an insult
Chapter 7. Create Motion
Good conversations are dynamic
Moving the conversation along
Everyone loves a story
Chapter 8. It’s Entertainment, Not Discussion
Feelings, not facts
Don’t take it so seriously
Move past generic topics
Chapter 9. Think on Your Feet
Don’t hold on too tightly
Learn to make quick connections
Have a little faith
Chapter 10. Support Your Teammates
It’s not about you, it’s about the conversation
Relax with it
Pinning the tail on the donkey—a great teamwork technique
Chapter 11: Remember and Callback
An in-joke is worth its weight in gold
Keep an eye open for links and connections
A small way to make a big impact
Chapter 12: Shut Up More
Talking is not the same as conversation
Listening is half the fun
Get your ego out of the picture
Chapter 13: Use HPM
A secret weapon
History
Philosophy
Metaphor
Chapter 14. Improv Potpourri
Be Zen about it
Take a risk
Flow is better than funny
It takes time
Summary Guide
Introduction
How many people can you name that can do passable, if not flat-out hilarious, impersonations of Janet Reno, George W. Bush, Alex Trebek, and Robert Goulet?
There is only one man who possesses the talent to do such a thing: Will Ferrell.
For those who are unfamiliar with Will Ferrell, he is a stand-up comedian, actor, and improv comic who was one of the primary drivers of Saturday Night Live’s (SNL) revival during the 1990s. He was able to parlay his exposure at SNL into a comedic movie career to rival that of any of the greats.
He was also one of the first performers who was an automatic
for me. What do I mean by that?
It means that anything he released, acted in, or was involved in, I would without question automatically watch it. I’d buy it, rent it, or watch it in the theater on opening day because no matter the subject matter, I had faith that he was going to make it bearable at the very worst.
Whether he was the second coming of laughter itself, or his mannerisms just resonated with my personal sense of humor, Will Ferrell was one of my early role models and my first man-crush
during my impressionable years.
Years ago, I learned that he got his start in the comedy world through improv comedy, as did many of today’s household names in comedy. If I wanted to follow in the footsteps of my man-crush, then I obviously needed to investigate improv comedy as well! I excitedly signed up for a weekend workshop.
As a conversation coach now, you would think that I had a good foundation at the time. I sure didn’t think I would have a hard time, but I was sorely mistaken. There were many similarities between improv comedy and what I teach, but the paths were starkly different to reach the similar goal of a great interaction. Where I tended to want to make conversation more predictable and easier for the participants, improv comedy teaches you to deal with, and even embrace, the opposite: total and complete chaos that somehow turns hilarious due to the quick thinking of talented performers.
As you might expect, I had somewhat more mixed results than Mr. Ferrell, but the workshop left me with a strong impression of how to consciously ignore all the chatter in the world and focus on the person in front of me. It’s something that sounds so simple in theory, but is nearly impossible to do in practice.
For me, that meant letting go of my own self-consciousness and any agenda I had coming into the interaction, since there was no guarantee it would ever come up, and I had to work with what the other person gave me. I would have an answer prepared in my head, but the moment I spoke it I realized that it derailed what the entire interaction was building toward because I wasn’t listening properly.
Improv comedy is a group dance that ebbs and flows with what each member of the group is doing. The only rule is that the group must always stay and work together. Even if you’re uncomfortable or unfamiliar with what’s happening, you’ll be supported and helped by the other members of the group because you are all collaborating toward one shared goal, and nothing else matters.
I always intended to take more improv comedy workshops, but for one reason or another, I never got around to. My bid to become Will Ferrell’s successor was destined to fall short.
However, the weekend workshop wasn’t a waste of time; far from it.
It occurred to me that even though improv comedy represented a different approach, there was a tremendous amount of elements I could implement to improve normal social interactions. For one, they both have the exact same goal of a great interaction—a conversation for my context, and a performance for the comedy context. Many other elements I taught clients about social interaction, such as conversation, thinking on their feet, and witty banter, were all intimately similar to the lessons I learned in improv comedy.
Improv comedy above all else teaches the concept of flow, which bestows the ability to make something out of nothing. A conversation always has a flow; you just have to pay attention to it and catch it before it fades.
You have to observe, listen, be present, react, and adapt to find the flow. In finding the flow, you create something that leaves both parties happy and satisfied.
Not coincidentally, that is the same exact goal for conversations, and it’s what I had in mind when I titled this book Improv(e) Your Conversations. It’s the application of principles integral to improv comedy to conversation, interaction, and connecting deeply with others.
Improv comedy principles have been honed and developed over decades to address the exact same issues that trip us up when we speak to strangers on an everyday basis.
Do you want to…
Eliminate awkward silences and make conversation flow smoothly?
Listen better, go deeper, and connect effortlessly?
Verbally banter and spar without having to think about what to say?
Ditch self-consciousness and put yourself into unfamiliar situations?
Check, check, check, and check.
I want to take this opportunity to help you discover how and why improv comedy actors never run out of things to say, think supremely quick on their feet, and give the best witty banter in the world.
Chapter 1. Improvisation Implementation
Great conversations don’t simply appear spontaneously out of thin air. We might get lucky occasionally when we find people that happen to be on the same wavelength as us, or share an obscure set of similarities, but that’s not something you can depend on to carry you through life.
That’s like trying to predict when and where lightning will strike, which isn’t exactly known to be possible.
People who can create flowing conversations with just about everyone they meet are definitely achieving something different and special. What do people who can make something out of nothing have in common?
It doesn’t happen consistently without planning and preparation. This isn’t planning and preparation in the conventional sense, where you might jot down ideas of topics to bring up, or dig through the news for the current events of the day. Those are important to some degree, but they can be equally as detrimental. If you have a flowchart for conversations, any slight deviation can spell your doom.
The type of preparation you need is to understand the basic anatomy of great conversations. That’s going to be the focus of this first chapter of Improv(e) Your Conversations. What are the elements you should focus on and seek out in your conversations, and what should you try to avoid? Moreover, which of the bad habits are you guilty of, and are you compelling others to want to converse with you, or are you actually repelling them?
A great conversation greatly resembles an improv comedy performance, and ideally should involve all the rules that I’m going to cover in this book.
Conversation = improv
Let’s spell out the similarities.
Both a conversation and an improv comedy