Unwinding My Mind

Unwinding My Mind

Unwinding My Mind

By Lauren Michelle

Broomstick Publishing

2018

Copyright © 2018 by Lauren Michelle

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or scholarly journal.

First Printing: 2018

ISBN 978-1-79474-832-3

Broomstick Publishing

Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

www.thebrassbroomstick.com

Dedication

To my mother Tari. Without you, I never would have reached this goal. Thank you for your patience, for holding onto everything I’ve written, and for being my biggest cheerleader.

To my kids, Kenneth, Cora-Lynn, Carter, and Aidan. You guys are the best kids I could ever have asked for. Thank you for putting up with my writing as you grew up, and for everything that you are. I’m so proud to call you my kids.

Introduction

This collection was born out of my need to explore different sides of living with mental illness. After my diagnosis in 2005, it was a lot for me to handle, and to understand. I really struggled until I found the voice I needed to write about it.

As the years have progressed, I’ve written many poems to help me to cope, but none helped as much as the ones you’ll find here. After writing all my life and trying so hard to copy what everyone else was doing, I finally began to find myself.

You’ll find many references to the beast. He’s a personification of my illness, a way that my mind has come up with in order to cope. It creates something tangible that I can work through, which helps me.

I know that not everything in here is easy to read, but I urge you to work your way through it.

If you, or someone you know needs help with a mental illness, reach out. Ask for help. Don’t let it control you, don’t let it beat you down. Your own beast won’t win, and can be caged if you try. Talk to your doctor, a family member, or a friend. It’s amazing how much of a difference reaching out can do.

Love and hugs,

Lauren Michelle

Cracks

Fractals of words

Pierce my brain like

Light shattering a fog,

One that settles so heavily

On the ground that you

Can't see your hands.

The fog in my brain is

Lifting and I can see

Once again the way

Out of the hell I've

Found myself living in.

The words shatter, scatter

Pouring forth and I can't

Keep up to write them down

Fast enough and as they

Empty out, more take their

Place and the speed

Is distracting and I'm getting

Fragments of sentences, only

Partial syllables before the

Next one comes pouring, piece by

Tiny piece and I struggle

To keep up with the