This Is Me
By Marty Tilley
()
About this ebook
Marty Tilley
Marty Tilley, with a degree in psychology and post-graduate work in communications, has spent almost twenty years adapting to a disease that is steeped in a cloak of mystery and darkness. Today, she continues her research on their farm in Adams, Tennessee, alongside her husband and their rescue tabby named Kitty, who has blossomed into a mighty hunter.
Related to This Is Me
Related ebooks
BLUE Butterfly Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Generation Game Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Life Untold: Life Untold Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLove Is the Healer Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Way of Being: The Journey to Spiritual Enlightenment Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUnfold Me: Unfold Layers of Your Wounded Heart and Begin Living Your Dream Life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThey Called Me 33: Reclaiming Ingo-Waabigwan Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Little Aussie Battler Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFourteen Days A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Quarantine Hell Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMy A. B. C. Diary Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsI Remember Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsShadows of Yesterday Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhere Will I Sleep Tonight? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSoft Selling in the 21st Century Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHidden Truth & Open Lies Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRaising Wolves Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMy Life, Psychic Sex & More Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Little Lake Girl Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMansfield Born & Bred Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFrom Grief to Gratitude Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBecoming Unshakeable: Wisdom Learned On the Journey to Inner Freedom Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Tools For The Top Paddock Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHoly Water in My Scotch: From Despair to Hope Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWomb to Tomb to Womb: Holy Longing Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Valley to the Mountain: The Valley to the Mountain Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGirl in the Tunnel: My Story of Love and Loss as a Survivor of the Magdalene Laundries Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/510 Countries, 10 Women, 10 Lives Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTrans Boomer: A Memoir of My Journey from Female to Male Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Season of Disruption Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Strength Within Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Personal Memoirs For You
A Stolen Life: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Child Called It: One Child's Courage to Survive Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Glass Castle: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I'm Glad My Mom Died Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dry: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sociopath: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Stay Married: The Most Insane Love Story Ever Told Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Melania Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Woman in Me Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World's Most Dangerous Man Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Yes Please Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I'll Be Gone in the Dark: One Woman's Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5By the Time You Read This: The Space between Cheslie's Smile and Mental Illness—Her Story in Her Own Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Writing into the Wound: Understanding trauma, truth, and language Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dad on Pills: Fatherhood and Mental Illness Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Trejo: My Life of Crime, Redemption, and Hollywood Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Many Lives of Mama Love (Oprah's Book Club): A Memoir of Lying, Stealing, Writing, and Healing Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5All Creatures Great and Small Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Bad Mormon: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Good Girls Don't Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for This Is Me
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
This Is Me - Marty Tilley
Prince
Prologue
Given a life sentence in May 2002 paralyzed me to the core. Feelings of sadness, yes, and even awe, swirled inside me as I sat while the specialist loaded my arms with books and pamphlets. To get here, we must return to the beginning.
Part One
1
Weighing less than three pounds, fitting in a shoe box, with the face of a tiny, shriveled rat, this is me. A screaming preemie, mad, and quite vocal about it, I enter the world one Thursday evening so long, long ago. A lifetime ago.
Earlier, my mother calmly sits in the automobile, while dad tosses the suitcase into the backseat. This suitcase is different. No soft blankets nor hand-smocked gowns from her mother, are tucked inside. The little one will not make it. The two of them understand and drive to the hospital in silence.
The toxins are raging throughout my mother’s body now and she can no longer wait. Delivery of the fetus is the only cure for eclampsia.
During the beginning of her pregnancy, she had waited. Against her doctor’s advice, she had waited. As her family and close friends urged her to proceed with the delivery, she still waited and for this reason, in that small, rural hospital, to the amazement of the doctor, the staff, and my parents, I survive. I was their noisy, scrawny miracle. I had survived. Three years later, my mother did not.
Remaining in the hospital for the next two months, I thrive. Parents of premature infants today, are given literature detailing possible outcomes for their little one-learning disorder, blindness, deafness. One half will have abnormalities in the brain. Support groups are available today. But in 1955, they were not. My parents took me home and prayed.
2
At the age of three and motherless, Dad and I move into his parent’s home. My aunt, Dad’s sister, recently divorced, had moved in as well, with her baby boy. The two of us immediately bonded, like true brother and sister, growing up in this loving, safe environment for many, many years.
In that tiny home, with a gigantic backyard, in proportion to our tiny legs, we played together, climbed trees together, and our imagination soared. Why, we even ran away together, to join the circus!
We, however, did not get very far. Fifty feet. Then, we knocked on our neighbor’s door, who had the farm with the farm animals, always waving to us whenever grandmother drove by her house. Announcing to her our bold plans of running away and in desperate need of a drink of water, please ma’am,
she obliged and immediately, phoned our grandmother.
The disappointment seen in the eyes of someone you love and hold so dear in your heart, truly does hurt more than any quick pop on your bottom. And we never spoke of running away again.
Years pass, and Dad offers me a tiny glimpse into his inner thoughts, which was a very rare occurrence. Right after the move and burial of my mother, he allowed himself only one week to mourn. At age twenty-four, now widowed, and with a stubborn child to raise, he knew he must return to some type of normalcy. So, he returned to work.
He had, after all, promised my mother, as she lay dying, he would take care of me. He has never let her down.
I remember very little of the farmhouse we called home, while my mother was alive. The home had no bathroom. None did, in the ’50s, in rural America. I, thankfully, still wore diapers.
Happiness is what I do feel with the memories I recall – tiny kittens scratching my arms, while I stuff them into my baby stroller; little ducklings, dyed purple, circling my feet, as I squat for a photo, in my Easter best.
Quite poignantly, and somewhat foretelling, I recall us leaving a church service. Giggling, I sail through the air, leaping from the church’s highest step, into the arms of a teenage girl. I can still see her face. Not my mother’s – the girl’s.
Coming from strong genes, I continue to flourish, like my Dad, still working each and every day at 86. My maternal great-grandfather, born in the late 1800s, began a logging and sawmill business with a team of mules; with no one questioning his sanity whatsoever years later, as he spat tobacco juice on the floorboard of his brand-spanking new Cadillac, and my paternal great-grandmother, cooking over a wood-stove, birthing babies, and working in the fields, alongside her husband.
Living to be almost 100, she was baptized, in her late 80s, in a bathtub. St. Peter had a huge smile on his face when Ma Nettie
appeared at the pearly gates. Dipping for as long as I can even recall, I believe the first question she probably asked upon arrival was quite simple: Where do we get our snuff?
And to this very day, I still use an old snuff
can to cut out my angel biscuits, in remembrance of Ma.
So many ancestors, with unique strength and resilience, and I find that I am, thankfully, becoming one of them. This journey has opened my eyes to the plasticity within each of us, if we allow the growth to take root.
I understand we all have our crosses
we must bear. Some people decide to