I Am Not a Bad Hombre: Insights on Race, Ethnicity, and Culture from a Brazilian Resident Alien

APPENDIX

Preface

YOU SHOULD BE ON THIS SIDE OF THE ROOM, I POINTED TO WHERE I was standing, teaching class. Someday, you should take my place. After a few days of teaching I knew; Ivanildo should be teaching where I am a professor.

Ivanildo and I met during the residency portion of his PhD cohort. My class is entitled Biblical and Theological Foundations for Ministry for Lancaster Bible College and Graduate School. Central and foundational to the mission of the seminary experience is the presupposition that Scripture, Genesis to Revelation, is the inerrant, authoritative Word of God. Further, and crucial to our course, is the doctrine of coherence, the idea that by Jesus are all things held together (Colossians 1:17). From these sacrosanct Hebraic-Christian ideals comes the watchword for Christian education at any level, All Truth originates from and is unified by God. From the start, Ivanildo demonstrated the core components through what was obviously application of his theology.

Ivanildo’s voice conveys the useful wisdom of Scripture in daily life. His cohort engaged some hot topics, not only concerning the culture at large but specifically in The Church. Debate over women in ecclesiastical positions of leadership, for instance, simmered through the hours of our class, sometimes boiling over. Folks on either side of the dialogue were not always hearing each other. It was Ivanildo’s pastoral insight, caring for each member of the class, which calmed raised voices and soothed assertive personalities. One time, pairs of students were orally presenting final projects. It was clear that the position taken by one set of students was unintentionally causing great grief for one listener. I can still see, in my mind’s eye, the offended person begin to get up to leave the room. At the same moment, Ivanildo placed a gentle hand on their shoulder. It was that one gesture that pacified the scene.

Generosity and graciousness are the words that identify Ivanildo’s care for others. His temperate words were ever present in class; he always sought common ground. I was so pleased to assess Ivanildo’s assignments which declared forthright truth packaged with attraction, weaving clarity with resolve. I know few PhD students in my experience who could come close to beginning their terminal degree with this kind of sagacity.

Some of Ivanildo’s experiences are difficult to understand, much less read. You may not agree with some of his perspectives. But remember, especially if you are a Christian, that hearing, then listening, then responding properly to Scripture is our biblical imperative. If you think early chapters in the book are hard to take, fast forward to chapters sixteen and seventeen to hear an evenhanded, self-deprecating point of view. From a biblical vantage point, our bad view of others begins in Genesis 4 with Cain and Abel, then runs through every human heart. Some may not want to hear that our sinfulness has planted seeds of racism in each of us. And some may not want to hear that those who have advantages in any way are held responsible by God through His prophets and apostles.

Biblical writers are ubiquitous in their denunciation of prejudice and discrimination. Economic classism is alive and well in every culture since every culture gives privileges to those who have more than others. Ivanildo makes the important point that we Americans who are Christians bear responsibility for the poor and marginalized (read Isaiah 58-59, Amos 5, Matthew 25, and James 2). Negative experiences notarized in this book are not meant as personal indictments. But each experience, each reflection from Ivanildo should be a cause for pause in every Christ-follower. Christianity is nothing if it is not an others-centered lived life. How we live our lives matters. Our doctrine means little or nothing if we do not apply the teaching of Jesus in Matthew 5 as He interprets the teachings of Deuteronomy: loving God must be manifest through our whole person (heart, soul, mind, strength, Mark 12).

I was going to be an hour away from Ivanildo in Ohio at a speaking engagement. I called and we immediately made plans to have dinner together. Our three-hour conversation could have continued into the next day. My experiences as a professor have given me the privilege of becoming friends with a myriad of students near and far. But in Ivanildo I find a man who has lived and can speak biblically to cross cultural contexts. From his earliest days on the Amazon to his earning a PhD degree, Ivanildo’s life has benefitted from the nation which claims as a symbol, the Liberty Bell. One of the inscriptions on that bell comes from Leviticus 25:10 Proclaim liberty throughout the land, to all the inhabitants thereof. When you read Ivanildo’s book you will have a better understanding of the word all.

I can’t wait until Ivanildo takes my place on the teaching side of the classroom. His generous, gracious spirit will benefit students into the next generation.

MARK ECKEL, MA, TH.M., PHD

PROFESSOR OF THEOLOGY, LEADERSHIP, CULTURE, EDUCATION & ENGLISH

Introduction

THE IDEA BEHIND THIS BOOK

I HAVE WANTED TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE LIVING AS A resident alien in America for many years. I believe my story has the potential to inspire other aliens like myself to successfully navigate the demands of life in America while, at the same time, encourage Americans to believe that the people of the world who have landed on our shores are not bad people who can all be thrown into a convenient and misguided category of bad hombres.

The manuscript for this book was finished in the spring of 2017. Having witnessed the chaos that resulted in the unlikely election of Donald Trump to the Presidency, I knew then, as I know now, that my story had to be told. The anxiety I felt in early 2017 has turned into a real sense of alarm like the ones that dispatch fire trucks, with sirens blaring and lights flashing, as they speed resolutely to the scene of an emergency. Such is the picture of what is happening in our nation today, thus my sense of urgency to get my story out.

My story, at least in part, explains why the issues of racism and discrimination persist, despite many efforts to eradicate them from our society. But I believe my story also offers hope for a future in which people will be respected for who they are and not what they look like.

This book was designed in such a way that, in addition to reading about my story, by the end, you will also feel like you completed a college-level introductory course on cross-cultural communication and the history and implications of racism.

My idea is a very modest one. This book has no pretense of being a manual for intercultural studies, nor is it a full autobiography of someone who has experienced more than three decades of life as an alien in America. But you will find material covering both topics here. You will also find practical tips about cross-cultural issues (Chapter 11) and a tribute to some of my friends who have helped me make the journey through the U.S. a success (Chapter 16).

The chapters are divided prepensely, alternating between personal stories, didactical material about the burden of crossing cultures, and historical discussions. At times, the topics will be interwoven within the same chapter, but overall the chapters will focus on a specific topic. As you read, you will get a glimpse of the joys and perils of living as a foreigner in America and realize that my story is being replicated daily throughout this nation as many other immigrants have also overcome discrimination and found redemption through their exploits in a new land.

This book will resonate with a lot of people who have been the victims of discrimination based purely on skin color or national origin, but it will also speak to the hearts of those who, like lunar lander deniers, still don’t believe that racism happens in 21st century America. You will laugh, cry, get angry, and feel liberated as you read this book. I trust that, in the end, you will also be inspired to do great things for your fellow humans who may look a little different from you but who, deep down in their hearts, desire the same thing you do—a place in the sun in this great plot of real estate called the United States of America.

A WORD ABOUT WORD USAGE

Writing about races and national origins is a nightmare for somebody like myself who tends to look for exactness in language. For example, I had to choose which word to use to refer to those who have traditionally been associated with the majority group in this country. I chose to use the word Americans. Though I understand that this nation is an amalgamation of races and colors, when I use Americans in this book I am referring primarily to Americans of northern and western European descent.

I also had to make a decision about how to refer to Caucasians and African Americans in the sections dealing with the history of racism in America. Following more recent practices, I decided to stick to black and white without quotes. Again, I understand that this is fraught with peril, but as I began at first to put those two words in quotation marks, I quickly realized how this could easily become a distraction for the readers. So, I must apologize in advance to those who are more sensitive to these terms and assure you that this decision was motivated only by stylistic reasons.

The same could be said about the word Hispanic, which I have chosen to use in spite of the fact that I know that many so-called Hispanics despise that label because of its association with Spain and its history of colonization. I chose to use it here because the terminology is universally used and easily understandable by most people, but I ask for some indulgence from all my friends of Mexican heritage.

Finally, in speaking about immigration, one is always faced with the question of which term to use to refer to those who are here without proper documentation. I chose to use illegal immigration, except when I am alluding to materials I didn’t author, like when I use undocumented immigrant.

WHY I WROTE THIS BOOK

Occasionally, for the sake of our own sanity and the sanity of those closest to us, we simply have to say, The heck with it! This book comes out of an experience like that—a time in my life when pain led me to a type of lucidity that was so palpable it rushed out of me like Usain Bolt coming out of the starting blocks. And contrary to other times, I never stopped running until I reached the finish line.

Inside of me I felt like there was a dragon yearning to be free. I heard the calling as surely as I heard my own voice screaming help! the day I almost drowned in the waters of the Amazon. At first, it was like fierce waves hitting me at will, randomly powerful. Then, as the words and sentences began to form, I felt the cadence of a long, cathartic exercise that took me a couple months to complete. It was like a never-ending labor in which both mother and baby were hanging by a thread as the clock struck every single tick-tock. But in the end, I found myself bathing in a sea of serenity, the kind of rare event that, like Halley’s Comet, may only occur once in one’s lifetime.

But, unlike the Comet, this experience came without warning. Had I had a sentinel blasting a trumpet heralding its arrival, I would have run from it. Had I dreamt about it, I would have done everything I could to suppress the memory of that dream with the first light of dawn. But, as it happens, stuff seemingly came out of nowhere. If pressed, though, for a big bang moment, I would have to say it was a collision of a cataclysmic type of event in my life, a sudden and cruel dismissal from a job I loved, with a fresh look at these words by St. Paul: From now on, let no one cause me trouble. For I bear on my body the scars of Jesus.¹

In the context of that verse you are led to believe that some life-altering event must have taken place in order for Paul to write such a bold statement. In a nutshell, Paul had been putting up with a lot of opposition in his life. One day, however, he woke up, strapped his dusty sandals onto his calloused feet and greeted the morning with enough is enough! And from then on, he didn’t seem to care anymore what people would say or do to him. Because of the visible scars forcibly tattooed onto his body, which in his mind made him a genuine article of the faith, he was locked in, ready to do whatever he needed to do to accomplish his mission. Paul, who battled against his own thorn in the flesh, now became the thorn himself in the flesh of Romans, Greeks, and Jews alike.

That’s how I felt as well, and that should be all the explanation you need as to why this book had to be conceived. Maybe it is old age; maybe it is a romantic notion that everyone must hear my story. Or perhaps it is a fantasy that at least one person reading this book will be able to overcome the barriers she is facing to succeed in life. But whatever the it might be, I resolved to write this book because of the things I saw, lived through, and overcame in a little over three decades of life as an alien in America.

There will be no secondhand account here, no hearsay, no reporter shoving the microphone in my face demanding a comment. I will write willingly about what I experienced personally. I will speak in first person, expose my scars, which—though not visible—are as real as those the flagellum left on the back of the beloved Apostle. So—make no mistake about it—in these pages you will read stuff you never imagined could have originated in the mind of an evangelical pastor in America, but you will also see that the experiences I write about so forcibly are also the very reason I believe in a brighter future for this nation we love.

But I will take my stand here, fast and furious. There will be times you will feel like I might be impersonating a pugnacious pugilist because I will punch, poke, provoke and perturb the peace. You too, at times, will feel like you want to pounce—sometimes at me, sometimes at the people I am writing about. But my goal is not to inflict punishment. Rather, I am hoping to persuade some to give up the hate and slay the monsters that plague us in this dangerous age of racial divide and racism in America.

So, when you get mad, don’t give up. You will find that, in the end, good will prevail against evil, triumph will trump negativism, and knowledge will win against obscurantism.

Some people will want to use some of my stories to take a swipe at Christianity or the Church. I warn you not to do that. While it is true that I have experienced a lot of hardships within the context of local churches, I must also say that most of the great things that happened in my life have happened inside the fellowships where I have had the honor of serving. The church is not bricks and mortar; it is the people. The people are not perfect, but the Savior is. Don’t impeach Jesus for the sins of the Church. With all her faults, I still believe the Church represents the hope of the world.

There will be others who will accuse me of being angry while I wrote this book. Anger does not even come close to describing the range of emotions I felt as I relived some of the stories narrated here. Disturbed and disillusioned, now you’re getting closer. Add outraged and incensed to that. There were times, as I revised past events in my life, when, if I hadn’t just bought my brand-new Mac, I probably would’ve done some irreparable damage to it. I was ready to hit something. I beg you, however, not to let the tone of this tome distract you from its message.

As I contemplated the number of times in my life when I have been wronged for no apparent reason, I was overcome with a sense of helplessness and despair. But these were mere vacuities, moments lived intensely for a brief period, quickly replaced by a furious sense of greater purpose that guided me through this entire project. Anger didn’t have the last laugh, even if it was a close call.

With my pastoral background, you might be tempted to wonder why I chose to write a book that is not religious per se. I have my reasons. By design, you will not find me proselytizing here. You will search in vain for the proverbial Romans Road in these pages. However, if you look carefully, you will find another side road leading to the good news about Christ. Peer beneath the surface, and you will find a story of redemption that, in my case, was only possible because of the reconciliation I received through Christ’s death on the cross.

If you are a Christian, don’t be alarmed by the small number of biblical references sprinkled only occasionally throughout this book. As a Bible student, I have dedicated a lifetime to the study of God’s Word and am not ashamed of being called by the name of Christ. However, my purpose here is different from what I do in the pulpit. I hope to speak to a wider audience—anyone who has ever been tinged with a touch of strangeness toward anything that is foreign to her, anyone who wants to know how to tame the monster of xenophobia and racism that have inexorably found a place in the depths of the souls of so many people in our lifetime. It is to this audience, in part, that I train my words and make my appeal.

But I also speak to those who live with the pain of differentiation, the anguish of being singled out because of racism, the sorrow of not being taken seriously because they don’t look like the people around them. I speak to those who believe there is still time for healing, and I offer my story as an example of the fact that racism and discrimination do not have to destroy you, no matter how deep the hurt is and regardless of how powerful the perpetrators are.

That’s not to say I am encouraging a cavalier attitude toward the evil of racism. Quite the contrary. I will show my disdain for situations created by those who are placed in positions of trust who turn around and squander that opportunity just because of a misguided view of the world that looks with suspicion at everything that is foreign to them.

My disdain, however, is not directed at people but rather at their attitudes. And this disdain is never meant to be a modus operandi; rather, it is only a momentary flash of deep displeasure and a warning that any of us can fall prey to negativity, as I did. I allowed people’s misguided attitudes toward me to unduly influence me for far too long. I let their opinions of me, based on race and color, to rule some aspects of my life. In my attempt to prove them wrong, I created a perimeter around me that made it impossible for me to live freely.

But something happened to me in the late 90s at a sports arena in Georgia that transformed the way I saw myself and saw others who had dealt unjustly with me. I write about this experience in the last chapter of this book. For now, let me just say that it was the force of that event in Georgia that helped set me free. Though I should have freed