Church Abuse of Clergy: A Radical New Understanding

Church Abuse of Clergy

A Radical New Understanding

Gene Fowler

Church Abuse of Clergy

A Radical New Understanding

Copyright ©

2020

Gene Fowler. All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical publications or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publisher. Write: Permissions, Wipf and Stock Publishers,

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8

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, Eugene, OR

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.

Cascade Books

An Imprint of Wipf and Stock Publishers

199

W.

8

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Eugene, OR

97401

www.wipfandstock.com

paperback isbn: 978-1-5326-6143-3

hardcover isbn: 978-1-5326-6144-0

ebook isbn: 978-1-5326-6145-7

Cataloguing-in-Publication data:

Names: Fowler, Gene, author.

Title: Church abuse of clergy : a radical new understanding / Gene Fowler.

Description: Eugene, OR: Cascade Books,

2020

| Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers:

isbn 978-1-5326-6143-3 (

paperback

) | isbn 978-1-5326-6144-0 (

hardcover

) | isbn 978-1-5326-6145-7 (

ebook

)

Subjects: LCSH: Clergy—Abuse of. | Clergy—Psychology. | Church controversies.

Classification:

BV4398 .F60 2o2o (

print

) | BV4398 (

ebook

)

Manufactured in the U.S.A.

May 18, 2020

Table of Contents

Title Page

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Part I: The Scope of Church Abuse of Clergy

Chapter 1: Introducing the Scope of Church Abuse of Clergy

Chapter 2: Expanding the Scope

Part II: The New Understanding of Church Abuse of Clergy

Chapter 3: A New Category for Church Abuse of Clergy

Chapter 4: The Congregation as a Whole

Chapter 5: Traumatized Congregations

Chapter 6: The Congregational Social Unconscious

Chapter 7: The Goal and Effects of Abusive Congregations

Part III: Exploring Solutions

Chapter 8: Clergy Collaborating

Bibliography

A clergy mentor once confided, ‘I am burnt out and wish I could leave the ministry, but my family will need retirement funds to exist.’ In less than a year, this friend died from cancer. Ah, to have had Fowler’s book to fathom my friend’s painful journey. I would have gathered clergy friends to read this precise, heartfelt work, which knows a pastor and their family are one. Prevention of ‘clergy abuse’ is the work of a loving gathering.

—George Jacobs

President, Davidson Clergy Program

"Pastors going through or having experienced church abuse will find much wisdom in Gene Fowler’s Church Abuse of Clergy. So too will congregations who have endured systemic pastoral crises. Church abuse is not a synonym for church conflict. And the roots of church abuse are far deeper than a few dissatisfied members. Pastors, congregational leaders, judicatory executives, and ministry committees will all benefit from a careful and judicious reading of Fowler’s analysis and recommendations."

—Gary S. Eller

President, Omaha Presbyterian Seminary Foundation

Gene Fowler posits that irrational abuse of clergy by congregations is often the result of an unresolved earlier congregational trauma. Drawing on the work of group psychotherapist Earl Hopper he posits that clergy abuse is not simply an interpersonal conflict. This hypothesis will undoubtedly shift how religious leaders think about and work to ameliorate or prevent this difficult dilemma.

—Frances Unsell

Organizational Consultant, Psychoanalyst, and Presbyterian Minister

"Nearly every colleague that I have known in my thirty years of ministry has either experienced elements of abuse during their ministry or has known someone else who has. Finally, we have a resource that deeply and uniquely explores the violence done to clergy and their families as they serve the church. Church Abuse of Clergy should be required reading for every pastor, seminarian, and those who care about them."

—Deborah Fae Swift

Pastor, South Presbyterian Church, Rochester, NY

I dedicate this book to clergy and their loved ones who are undergoing church abuse of clergy or who have undergone church abuse of clergy in the past.

Acknowledgments

Writing a book is a very private business, and getting feedback can be difficult. For this reason, I want to acknowledge my wife, Amy, who was a well-qualified giver of feedback beyond the call of duty. Even during long drives to visit our family, she was a captive audience! True love. Another family member I acknowledge is my son Thomas, an attorney who made me aware of a legal concept that is incredibly important for this book. He became my legal consultant for chapters 6 and 7. In another vein, I want to acknowledge my longtime friend Dr. Gary Eller, who is president of the Omaha Presbyterian Seminary Foundation. He enabled me to present the core ideas of my book in a clergy workshop. Thanks go to the clergy, because they influenced my thinking significantly. I also acknowledge those who endorsed my book. They are very busy people who made time to read the book, and they have responded helpfully. Finally, I acknowledge Wipf and Stock Publishers. They have the most fantastic set of instructions for guiding an author through formatting a book that I have ever experienced.

Introduction

In the preface to his writing about the Psalms, pastor John Calvin wrote these autobiographical words:

He carries his bony frame into his study with a slowness that comes from pain, his skin taut along sharp features. A sickly man, he can ignore his usual assortment of aches and illnesses. Today’s wounds are emotional. Again this morning, when he climbed to the pulpit for the service, there was a note waiting for him—personal, insulting, profane. Just when he needed his faculties, his mind was flooded with memories: open hostility from the city council, quieter but more troubling opposition from colleagues in ministry and, of course, the noisy ball game in the courtyard outside the church—only during worship, only to taunt him. The city of Geneva had begged him to come be their minister. Now people were naming dogs after him.

Finally, the best part of his week: a bit of quiet to prepare for Sunday’s afternoon sermon. He opens Bibles, Hebrew and Latin, to the book of Psalms. Praying silently for the Spirit’s help, he reads the ancient words of King David:

Be not far from me, for trouble is near,

and there is none to help. . . .

They open wide their mouths at me,

like a ravening and roaring lion.

I am poured out like water,

and all my bones are out of joint.¹

Horrible notes left in the pulpit, open hostility toward him, troubling opposition from other pastors, the disruption of worship, the very people who called him to be their pastor turning on him derisively, the most gut-wrenching of psalms expressing his nightmarish feeling of being alone without help during his time of extreme trouble—this is the stuff of the church’s abuse of clergy. Pastors who have been abused will identify easily with Calvin. Those who have not been abused at the hands of their congregation should be aware that the abuse entails inhumane bullying behavior that church members inflict on the pastor and sometimes on the pastor’s loved ones. The abusive process may develop for months or for over a year, and most often culminates in termination, which has its own set of painful consequences.

This book is about church abuse of clergy, so let me briefly explain my use of this phrase.

First, the word church will apply to the Protestant Christian church at all levels from the smallest congregation to the denomination as a whole and every facet of the church in between. My main emphasis will be on the congregation, but the book will apply to other church settings as well.

Second, dictionaries define abuse in a variety of ways, from the misuse of power for bad purposes to inflicting different kinds of terrible and harmful mistreatment on people, such as sexual assault. Abuse can be violent, cruel, insulting, offensive, etc. In church abuse of clergy, church members mistreat the pastor so badly that their behavior rises to the level of abuse.

Third, the word clergy will refer to ordained and other officially sanctioned ministers who work in all kinds of church settings. It is important to recognize that the word clergy includes all genders, races, ethnicities, those with different theological orientations, and ministers in different denominations with their differing polities. Clergy includes an increasing number of part-time pastors due to church membership and financial decline throughout the country; interim ministers; lay ministers commissioned to serve congregations; ministers who serve in rural, small town, suburban, and urban locations; and clergy who are seminary and divinity school professors.

In addition to Protestant clergy, I invite lay leaders, Roman Catholic and Orthodox priests, and leaders in other religions to read this book as well. I hope that any religious leaders who are suffering at the hands of the people they serve may benefit from reading this book.

My Story

For years I practiced pastoral ministry in denial that a congregation may abuse its pastor. I had heard a few colleagues talk about what they were experiencing in their congregations. But I did not understand that they were describing how they were being abused, and I am not sure that they understood that they were being abused either. Then I had an abusive experience in a congregation. I found it traumatizing, but I still did not understand it or know what to call it. I had heard of a book about something called clergy killing, but I did not bother to read it.

Years later when I began my research for this book, I discovered a small body of literature on church abuse of clergy. When I started reading the literature, I received quite a surprise. The reading triggered old and very painful feelings and memories from my abusive church experience, to the point that I stopped reading that literature for more than a year. In the meantime, I completed two articles about pastoral care that were published, so that time was not wasted. As a pastoral theologian who has practiced congregational ministry primarily as opposed to teaching, I have always considered writing as part of my ministry.² My writing focus is the ministry of care in the congregational setting. So, it is natural for me to write about church abuse of clergy because this topic involves caring for clergy who are susceptible to being abused, clergy who are being abused presently, and clergy who have been abused in the past.

At long last, I decided that if I were going to write about church abuse of clergy, I would have to find a way of coping with the pain. I started my research and writing again, and once more I found it painful. However, I discovered that I could stand it. Thankfully, the pain went away gradually as I continued writing, and I found myself with a new freedom to write about the topic and even remember and reflect on my own experience without the old pain automatically being triggered. Undoubtedly, the initial part of my research and writing was therapeutic. In any case, I discovered that the risk of facing the pain and the willingness to live with it became an important healing event in my life.

I am a white male Presbyterian minister who has been retired for less than two years, but the core of the book was written before I retired. In my tradition (PCUSA), I remain active in my Presbytery and as a pastoral theologian. In a sense, retirement is a great gift opening up one aspect of my ministry. Retirement from serving congregations is allowing me more time to write as a pastoral theologian, which is a part of my ministry that I have always loved.

Our Stories

Occasionally a pastor will ask me what I am writing about, and when I share that I am writing about church abuse of clergy I often get that person’s story of suffering at the hands of the congregation. I discovered that merely mentioning the topic can yield story after story. One evening when I was sitting on my front porch, I received a call from a pastor who lived in another state. He just wanted to tell me his story. He had heard what I was writing about from his relative, who was a church member in my congregation.

I have learned that pastors are hungry to tell their story of church abuse to someone who can understand it and appreciate its significance for them. Also, I have come to believe that there is far more church abuse of clergy throughout the United States than anyone imagines. As far as I know, there are no social science studies authoritatively determining the numbers nationwide. However, it is safe to say that very many clergy have been wounded as a result of the church abuse. If I had to guess, I would say that there are thousands of wounded clergy when all of the generations of practicing and retired clergy are taken into account.

In addition, there are stories that not even pastors are telling. Church abuse of clergy can produce traumatic suffering in a pastor’s family, but the voices of loved ones often gain no hearing. The flip side of the hunger to tell is maintaining secrecy about church abuse of clergy and the pastor’s loved ones. The secrecy exists among clergy, in congregations, other church settings, and denominations as a whole.

Seeking Solutions

I have found that when a pastor asks about the my book and I begin sharing some of the content, a certain type of response often is forthcoming. It is characterized by the following question: What is the solution to the church abuse of clergy problem? At first glance that sort of question seems clear enough, but I have found that it really is not clear. Think of the solution as a method, or a procedure, designed to get rid of the problem. The notion of getting rid of the problem seems straightforward, but it turns out that getting rid of the problem can mean many different things, indicating that multiple kinds of solutions are needed.

One pastor may envision putting an end to church abuse of clergy to such an extent that no pastor would have to endure the abuse ever again. Putting an end to the church abuse means literally extinguishing it. What kind of method would be adequate for achieving that goal? It is easy to imagine that the method would have to be developed at the denominational level and would have to be so comprehensive that local judicatories, congregations, other church settings, and the clergy would have to be involved. It also might require that denominations collaborate. Obviously, such a solution would take years to accomplish, and it is by no means certain that the goal of putting an end to church abuse of clergy nationwide and for all time is realistic.

Another pastor may envision putting an end to church abuse of clergy in a slightly less comprehensive sense. Ending the abuse would mean finding ways to discourage congregations and those in other church settings from engaging in the abuse, so that the amount of abuse would drop significantly. Developing the method would still have to include the church at all levels, but the goal would be more modest.

A third pastor may envision putting an end to church abuse of clergy by focusing on the local judicatory that has responsibility for congregations and pastors. It is assumed that church abuse of clergy may happen, but when it does those charged with responsibility for the congregation and pastor would intervene and put a stop to the abuse. Presumably, judicatory officials and committees would be able to identify church abuse of clergy and use a method designed for stopping the abuse in a local congregation. Stopping abuse that arises in other church settings would require using methods designed for those settings.

A fourth pastor may envision putting an end to church abuse of clergy in the sense that the individual pastor would be able to stop the abuse when it begins. After identifying the abuse, the pastor would use a method designed for enabling an individual pastor to end it.

For decades, authors of the church abuse of clergy literature have proposed solutions, but I personally have never heard clergy or other church leaders discuss the relative merits of those solutions or share whether they have put them into practice. Though such discussion undoubtedly has occurred, not even the various authors discuss the merits of one another’s solutions in their books. In any case, previously proposed solutions have not stopped church abuse of clergy.

Church abuse of clergy is a historic, multifaceted, complex, entrenched problem, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution to it. I believe that effective solutions to the problem of church abuse of clergy can be discovered, but they have not been found yet for a variety of reasons. One last question arises: Who should do the work necessary for discovering and implementing solutions to church abuse of clergy?

The Purpose of This Book

Seeking solutions for the church abuse of clergy problem must start somewhere. My thesis is that clergy must take the lead by working together for the purpose of discovering solutions and striving for their implementation. Clergy must take matters into their own hands through collaboration, because they cannot expect the church to solve the problem for them. Clergy from all church settings can join forces so that solutions can be sought and implemented in diverse ministries at all levels more quickly and effectively than otherwise.

How does reading this book contribute to clergy collaborating for finding and implementing solutions? First, this book provides clergy with the starting point that undergirds seeking solutions. The starting point involves pastors developing a common understanding of the problem. It is plain old common sense that finding effective solutions depends on understanding the problem, and this book provides a new and very different understanding of church abuse of clergy than has been proposed in the past.

Second, this book can provide pastors with one way to begin working together. I invite clergy to read this book in the context of small group discussion. Having dialogue in small groups is a way of working together for learning about the problem, developing a common language about the problem, and developing collegial relationships. These things can form a foundation for beginning to seek solutions. In addition, group discussion of this book can happen online. I provide questions at the end of each chapter in the service of facilitating small group discussion.

Third, small group discussion for learning about the problem provides the group members with the opportunity to begin learning how to support one another when any group members are undergoing church abuse or are experiencing painful memories from past abuse. Even when no group members have experienced church abuse, reading about it and discussing it can raise anxiety. Though pastors in some denominations may have support structures designed for addressing various types of pastoral difficulties, clergy have much to learn about supporting one another in the extreme circumstance of church abuse. I am not in any way suggesting that clergy small group discussion turn into group therapy, and appropriate boundaries must be maintained. However, presently it can be rare for a pastor who is undergoing abuse to receive a single supportive phone call from colleagues. It may be that such simple supportive gestures may be the first type of solution that can be instigated.

Lay people also need to learn about church abuse of clergy. However, a very significant reality must be taken into account. Mixing pastors and church members in groups gathered for learning about the problem may inhibit the free flow of conversation. Pastors who are enduring church abuse or who have endured it in the past may have great difficulty trusting church members enough to disclose their pain or hostile thoughts to church members in groups. Even in the best of times, clergy must be judicious about what they disclose to church members. However, church members can read this book individually or in the context of lay small groups. Hopefully, someday one component in a set of solutions will involve educating congregations about church abuse of clergy.

The Chapters

As the chapters in this book will show, learning about church abuse of clergy is challenging but well worth the effort. I have divided the chapters into three sections:

Part I. The Scope of Church Abuse of Clergy

The first section includes two chapters in which the scope of the church abuse of clergy problem will be identified and evaluated. Exploring the surprisingly large width and breadth of the problem will enable clergy to learn the many intertwined elements comprising church abuse of clergy. The elements are the parts of church abuse of clergy that, taken together, determine the scope, the width and breadth, of the problem. Knowing these elements will be helpful for reading the rest of the book.

I will draw on three main types of resource for identifying the scope. One is the existing church abuse of clergy literature. Another is social science studies that have addressed issues that are tangential to church abuse of clergy. The third is resources showing that the scope of church abuse of clergy is international.

In chapter 1, I will draw on the most comprehensive and influential book in the entire body of church abuse of clergy literature. In chapter 2, I will discuss the rest of the literature and will introduce the social science and international resources.

Part II. The New Understanding of Church Abuse of Clergy

The second section includes five chapters introducing the new, contemporary understanding of church abuse of clergy:

In chapter 3, I will present a new category for church abuse of clergy. The traditional category is church conflict in which church abuse of clergy is viewed as one type of church conflict among many. The church conflict literature contains assumptions about church conflict that distort the understanding of church abuse of clergy and that lead to unhelpful ways of addressing the abuse. Therefore, clergy need a more accurate category for church abuse of clergy.

In chapter 4, I will introduce a resource that will be helpful for identifying and understanding the abuser in church abuse of clergy. This resource is one main emphasis found in psychoanalytic group psychology. Traditionally, the abuser has been viewed as an individual with a few followers. However, this chapter will show that the congregation as a whole is the abuser in church abuse of clergy. It would be hard to overestimate the magnitude of this shift in identifying the abuser for understanding church abuse of clergy.

In chapter 5, I will introduce a second emphasis found in psychoanalytic group psychology, which will be helpful for developing an understanding of two interrelated parts of church abuse of clergy. One part is the motivation that impels the congregation as a whole to engage in abuse. The second part is the role of the congregation in church abuse of clergy, which is the way that the congregation carries out the church abuse based on the motivation.

In chapter 6, I will present the contextual aspects of church abuse of clergy. The social, cultural, and communicational contexts of congregations reveal two additional parts of abuse. One part is that profound unconscious influences are at play at the level of the congregation as a whole. These unconscious influences affect church member behavior even to the point of facilitating church abuse of clergy. The second part is that the unconscious contextual influences also facilitate the powerful method that the congregation uses in order to carry out abuse. A new metaphor for explaining the method will be introduced.

In chapter 7, I will present the goal and effects of church abuse of clergy. The goal is based on the method of church abuse of clergy. Explaining the goal will reveal the specific kind of devastating harm that pastors and often their loved ones must experience in order for the congregation to achieve its abusive goal. Finally, the effects that clergy and their loved ones experience upon enduring abuse from its beginning to its conclusion will be discussed.

Part III. Exploring Solutions

The third section contains one chapter about solutions to the problem of church abuse of clergy. In chapter 8, I will initiate the discussion about clergy collaboration for finding and implementing solutions to the problem of church abuse of clergy. The chapter will show that there are numerous areas of the problem, each one needing its own sort of solution. Consequently, there are different kinds of collaboration needed depending on the area of the problem and sort of