Family Matters: Home Truths, #1

One

Elizabeth

Somewhere around her sixth decade, Elizabeth Goodwin Mowat discovered important things she definitely should have known much earlier.

The revelation was undeniable. She had not made a good job of her marriage or of raising her children.

Of course, there had been moments when the truth broke through briefly, but she was accustomed to ignoring such warnings and forging ahead with whatever were the many and immediate problems that presented themselves to her.

Now the time had come to understand that it is one thing to recognize errors and missteps in life. It is a different thing entirely to try to correct them, or at least to mitigate their effects.

Elizabeth had spent another in a long line of sleepless nights.

She tossed and turned. The inevitability of debilitating illness and subsequent death would not leave her mind. She knew these dark hours of night brought dark thoughts into prominence, but she also acknowledged the thoughts were not wrong. The only way to shut off the fear, and hopefully to get some real rest, was to take up her courage and act.

Early the next morning Barbara, daughter number two, descended on her mother with a familiar series of complaints about her husband, her children, and her work issues with never a polite enquiry about how Elizabeth’s day/month/year/life was going.

What was different about that bright fall day with the leaves quivering on the trees, seeming to debate whether it was their time to take the leap?

Was it the bad night that had just passed, or the urgency of feelings too long suppressed?

Elizabeth decided to take the leap.

She had ignored the signs for far too long. It might be impossible for her to do anything to change her life and the lives of those around her, but she had to try.

In some ways, it was unfortunate that Barbara was the first one in line. She often stopped by on her way to work, knowing her mother rose early and had a sympathetic ear.

On hearing her daughter’s usual complaints, a visceral response arose from deep inside Elizabeth. This was the moment when everything must change, for good or ill.

You know, Barb, Ed works hard and he deserves your respect. The children would co-operate more readily if you gave them a good example of organization to follow. As for your problems at the printing shop, you need to put a stop to the gossip and concentrate on production.

There was a stunned silence in the kitchen.

Barbara looked outraged as she collapsed onto the nearest chair.

Elizabeth saw her second daughter’s mouth open and shut like a fish gasping for breath.

She waited for the storm of protest and denial to begin, but it did not come.

This reaction, admittedly, surprised Elizabeth Mowat.

Perhaps matters between mother and daughter would have been better if she had used this rather brutally honest tactic earlier.

Too late now, however. Or, possibly not?

There was always the slim chance that Barbara would take her mother’s lessons to heart, mend her ways, and their relationship could develop into something beneficial for each of them.

She looked again at Barbara.

What would her response be?

Anger? Disappointment? Confusion? Apology?

A sound emerged at last.

Well, Mother! The capital letter was clearly defined.

You could have told me this is how you felt about me. I will not bother you again, don’t you worry about that!

So, it was to be high dudgeon, followed by storming out.

Not entirely unexpected, given Barbara’s tendency to exaggerate and to fly off the handle at the least sign of criticism.

Barbara would return in time. Her busy lifestyle required frequent assistance from her mother. The two grandchildren were not a problem. Elizabeth enjoyed the company of Travis and Chelsea.

It was more about Barbara’s lack of appreciation.

In truth, it was much more about the secrets.

Opal! Have you talked to mother lately?

Barbara, you know I can’t be interrupted like this when I am at my office. I have a client coming in five minutes.

"Well, give me the five minutes! This is serious. I just had the most awful row with mother. She turned on me. I am hurt and appalled.

What’s wrong with her? She talks to you. What’s going on?"

Opal Rodriguez sighed in exasperation. If she let her sister ramble on for another minute or so the time would be up and she would be excused from answering. And yet, there was that whining, annoying tone to Barbara’s voice that demanded a response.

"Shut up, Barb! Yes, Mom talks to me and there’s a good reason. You never listen!

Have you asked about Dad lately?"

What about Dad? What does he have to do with this? It’s our mother’s attitude that is at fault here. Don’t you try to distract me from her!

Time’s up little sister! Think about what I said.

Opal crashed the phone down. She had promised herself, over and over again, not to be drawn into Barbara’s quarrels and this time she had stepped well over that line.

There would be consequences for that moment of weakness. But, it was high time certain consequences arrived for the Mowat family.

It was long overdue.

Dad? Can you talk?

Sure, Honey! What’s up with my little girl?

I don’t want to bother you, Daddy, but I had a fight with mother and Opal said I should talk to you about it. What’s wrong with mother all of a sudden? She positively attacked me this morning. My feelings are really hurt.

Now, now then, Barb! Your Mom’s probably having a bad day. Don’t take it to heart. When are you bringing the kids over for supper?

Well, that was one of the things I was trying to set up, Dad, but she cut me off completely.

Don’t you worry! I’m sure it will be fine tomorrow.

You think so? Thanks, Dad. See you soon then. I have to run.

Noah Mowat put down the newspaper he was reading. He was sitting at the kitchen table with his first cup of coffee. He could hear Elizabeth in the upstairs bathroom cleaning up the latest mess from his IBS.

A wave of annoyance disturbed his peaceful morning routine.

What had his wife said to upset Barb like this? They had an unspoken agreement to keep their issues away from the family as long as possible. Elizabeth knew how he felt about revealing his health problems to their kids.

It was beyond embarrassing for him. He worked at maintaining a front behind which he could conceal his weakness, but that depended on full cooperation from his wife.

He thought about going upstairs and asking Liz what she said to Barb.

He shook out the newspaper, turned a page, and chose to ignore the impulse.

Better not to stir the waters.

Two

Opal

Opal Rodriguez made it through the day by virtue of dismissing everything outside her office and giving her full concentration to her business clients. As soon as the last appointment was over, real life rushed in.

There was no ignoring the fact. A possible Mowat family crisis was brewing. Something had been said by their mother, and Barbara was riled up. More had also been added by Opal, and exacerbated the situation.

With any luck, her sister would forget and move on. She had the mind of a butterfly most of the time.

Opal glanced at her calendar on the desktop. Tonight Andre was collecting their daughter from her music lesson. Andre and Lila would have a bite to eat together on the way home.

She abandoned the hour of window shopping for a new fall outfit she had allocated for this time, and decided to talk to her mother instead. It was a privilege to be her mother’s sole confidante but with the privilege came responsibilities. Foremost among these was the need to preserve the illusion that all was hunky-dory at the Mowat family home.

Perhaps an intervention right away, could head off Barb and restore the status quo. There might just be time afterward for a quick look around the Mall, and a hamburger before heading home to Andre and Lila. With any luck, Andre might have dealt with their daughter’s homework by the time she arrived.

Mom, have you a minute to talk about today? Sure, I’ll wait till you get into your bedroom.

Opal heard the door close and her mother picking up the phone.

I am glad you called, Opal. I’ve had this on my mind all day. Your father is not best pleased.

When is he ever best pleased?

So, Mom, what did you say to Barb? She seems to think you were unbearably cruel to her.

I did unload a few home truths for her to think about.

Well, it’s about time, Mom. You simply can’t go on putting up this false front that everything is perfect. It is costing you in energy that you cannot spare. Isn’t it time to be more realistic?

Opal instantly recognized a theme she had played many times before without result.

Elizabeth Mowat was a diehard sufferer; an old-school woman, who stood by her man, no matter what, and believed completely, with what was left of her heart, in the outdated promises of the wedding ceremony. One of her mother’s favourite songs was from an old movie. Opal thought the words were prophetic.

‘When I fall in love’ was the first line, and the rest was about forever and love lasting on and on.

Opal believed it was romantic but hardly realistic.

Her mother’s silence on the phone had gone on longer than usual.

Are you okay, Mom?

"Opal, you are right. I am at the end of my tether. I simply can’t go on like this any longer.

Things have to change around here or I will have to leave to save myself."

Oh my God! She has said it at last!

If she really means this, the Mowat family is in for a very rocky ride.

Look Mom, I will call Andre and come over to you. Please do not do or say anything until I get there. Just wait for me.

Opal put down the phone and left a message for Andre.

This was an emergency. Shopping and supper and all her other concerns flew out the window. Elizabeth Mowat was usually like a rock around which the entire family swirled. From Gran Goodwin to Chelsea, Barb’s youngest, everyone relied on Elizabeth, for one thing or another, at one time or another. If that rock broke apart, the repercussions might be devastating.

Traffic was heavy at the end of the work day. Opal split her mind in two with one part watching the cars around her and the other planning what she could do to prevent the coming disaster.

As her mother’s first child and confidante, Opal knew things about the Mowat marriage that neither Barb nor their brother Aaron, ever suspected. She observed years ago that her father’s Irritable Bowel Syndrome required a dedicated bathroom, locked, with entry forbidden.

His illness prompted Elizabeth to sleep in the second bedroom leaving the master suite to her husband.

Her mother explained that this illness was the reason for Noah’s early retirement. She did not go into details of the malady, but Opal easily found those distressing symptoms online and kept her mother’s promise not to reveal the secret to her siblings.

That was not the only stress her mother dealt with. Gran Sadie, at 84, was still living in her family home fifteen miles or so from town, and she adamantly refused to go into a nursing home, relying instead on the occasional kindness of a neighbour, and her only daughter Elizabeth’s generosity of time and effort.

None of Elizabeth’s family shared this caring work. Elizabeth stated when questioned that they all had busy lives of their own. Privately to Opal, she admitted that her mother had signs of dementia and did not relate well most of the time. Her daughter Elizabeth was the only person who could interpret her difficult ways.

As Opal drove up to the Mowat home, she tried to put all this privileged information into a form that would demonstrate her sympathy and yet suggest a possible solution. She must somehow diffuse the situation, otherwise her mother might act on her threat to leave home.

This threat hanging over her head seemed to be preventing any reasonable solutions to come to mind. It was unthinkable that the rock of the family should simply disappear. What would happen to Noah Mowat?

What would happen to Gran?

What would Barb do without her parents to rely on?

How would Aaron react?

At least she had an answer to the last question. Aaron moved out long ago and he had a life of his own that did not include the problems of his sisters, or his mother and father.

Appealing to their only brother for help was a waste of time.

So, it was all up to Big Sister Opal. Again!

If only she had a single useful idea in her head.

Three

Elizabeth kept herself busy with domestic tasks during the day.

After disinfecting the bathroom, she made breakfast and talked briefly to Noah about the day’s news from his newspaper. Then she tidied up both bedrooms and removed items for washing, ran a carpet sweeper over the hallway and brushed down the stairs.

Lunch would be a sandwich and coffee. She checked there was enough of the cheese Noah liked to make omelettes for supper. With a side salad from the fridge, it should be a quick meal, leaving her time to call to see how her mother was managing, and plan what she would say to Opal when she arrived home.

She loved her first child more than Opal probably knew. She was born out of love and brought hope and peace to the young marriage. Caring for her baby was Elizabeth’s sole responsibility and she loved it. Noah, on the other hand, found the responsibility of supporting his wife and daughter to be overwhelming. He had no father image from his own childhood to cling to as an example. He focussed all his energy on earning money to keep a roof over their heads and saw little of his child, working long hours to gain a more secure position at work.

Much later, Elizabeth understood that this pattern brought on the first signs of her husband’s bowel problems, as well as his separation from his children’s upbringing.

At the time, she was totally absorbed in nourishing and encouraging Opal, who was an easy, happy child with a ready smile and obvious intelligence.

When Aaron arrived, two years later, she believed a son, even one with such an unhappy background, would draw Noah out of his work obsession, but he was now in a more senior role at work and he had even less time and energy to devote to his little boy.

He did not object to Elizabeth’s devotion to their children. He even complimented her on her mothering skills.

One night, Noah said to Elizabeth that he did not want more children. She understood his concern and agreed their family was complete. She wanted to return to her work outside their home once the two children were at school.

Their future was planned out.

But plans do not always work out as expected.

Things changed over the years and Elizabeth blamed herself for not seeing what was obvious before it was too late.

The Mowat family was now heading into a crisis precipitated by Elizabeth, wife and mother, and lonely, tired and frustrated woman.

When she heard Opal’s little car scream into the driveway…. the girl really drove far too fast…..Elizabeth put the last of the dinner dishes back in the cupboard and left Noah by the television happily absorbed in watching a soccer game.

She went to the door and ushered Opal upstairs away from Noah. Their discussion must be private.

Her bedroom, decorated in her favourite lilac colour, contained everything she treasured most, from family photos framed on one wall, to the view out to the rear garden. This was the place where Elizabeth Mowat felt safe and most herself. She asked Opal to sit on the slipper chair, upholstered in a contrasting pale green, and sat on the end of her bed facing her daughter.

"Look, Mom, I know you feel bad. It’s been a difficult year…….

A difficult decade, more like.

……………………. and I really think we should be sending you off on a holiday.