Born to be You - Enjoying a Life free from Addiction: Addiction Recovery, #2

Born to be You

Enjoying a Life free from Addiction

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Shannon Patricia

© Born to be You 2020. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or replicated in any form.

Introduction

I allowed the world to determine my worth, relying on substances to help me feel alive. Addictions such as: Bulimia nervosa; alcohol; drugs; nicotine; sugar and caffeine, which almost cost me my life. I was frantically trying to find purpose in all the wrong places. My burning desire to find myself and my soul-purpose on earth, became my life-long quest. I yearned for something greater that would fill the void, which I felt deep within my soul. Still, I knew that there was a much deeper meaning and purpose to my life, than what I had known it to be. I longed to find that special, something which would finally make me feel content and whole.

Emotional/Mental Health has often had negative connotations to it, which I believe may have hindered many sufferers’ former desires for recovery. Emotional wellbeing should be just as important in maintaining, as for instance, one’s physical health. My vision is to give a voice to the importance which Emotional Health has in our lives. There is absolutely no need to feel ashamed and there is certainly no need to suffer in silence. Hopefully by sharing my experiences, it will further assist others and hopefully prevent others from following suit. I believe that this is my life purpose which God has created me for, and I now obediently follow Him every day of my life.

I believe that I have travelled my journey, not only for my own life lessons, but to be able to assist others in their quests, as well. I believe that God has preserved me because of what is within me. He has preserved me for a greater purpose and I wholeheartedly believe that my purpose is to reach out and help each one of YOU!

I pray that I can be a positive, life changing force for others, inspiring them to live their lives to their absolute fullest, by being the very best versions of themselves. Ensuring that we live the life we were destined to live. Being free from living lives governed by consuming addictions which ultimately result in self-destruction, prison, institutions and ultimately death. For it is then, when my life’s journey will be given meaning, knowing that I have survived and been able to share in my life lessons, by being able to assist YOU with yours.

Depression is a Mental Disorder and is the

Number 1 Emotional Disability in the world today.

And yet, 75% of sufferers are untreated.

23 people in South Africa alone, commit suicide every day and approximately 800 000 people,

in the world.

That’s 1 person every 40 seconds!!!.

(Ages 15-29 years old)

Choosing Life

Today I choose life. Every morning I awake, I choose joy, love, happiness and laughter.

I want to feel the freedom and peace that accompanies the ability to make mistakes and to have choices. I don’t want to experience pain, disappointment and negativity.

I no longer deny my humanity but choose to embrace it.

Today, I choose to feel alive!

Nothing that you have ever had to undergo will prevent you from enjoying an amazingly wonderful future, if you walk with God in faith. God loves you more than you will ever imagine, and He wants you to live with victory over sin, so that you can possess His promises for your life today!

People disappoint you, and they will disappoint you, because after all they are only human. God never does. Whenever people don’t approve or love you. God loves and accepts you fully and completely. He knows your worth and loves you unconditionally. Regardless of your shortcomings and mistakes made.

I was also so busy waiting for my fabulous life to begin, that I wasn’t allowing myself to fully appreciate it for what it was right now! Thank you for affording me the incredible opportunity to share my life experiences and lessons learnt with YOU. I pray that they may assist you on your individual journeys.

Recommendations

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has been the victim of an Addiction of some sort

Having suffered extensively from an array of different Addictions. I have shared with you a variety of tools which can assist you on your journey.

As an Addict would know, there is a constant challenge to stay on the right road and this book will certainly provide you with those tools.

25% of the world suffer from Emotional Health challenges of some sort, so there is no need to suffer in silence, or be ashamed of your Addiction and/or Emotional Instability.

There is no time like the present,

to live your best life ever!!!

Above is my exquisite Baby girl, Paige who has a beautiful saying

Words of Thanks

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my amazing family members and friends who have stood by me through good times and extremely challenging ones.

My family have taught me what the true meaning of having a close and supportive family is. We have assisted one another through every challenge faced and we continue to learn lessons along the way.

My two incredible Children, Tristan and Paige. My Angels, words cannot begin to express my love and appreciation for you both. You remind me every day what a privilege it is for me to be your Mom. I am so proud of the mature adults you are becoming. Huge, tight hugs to each of you, Mmmwaaah!!!

My family continue to show me what unconditional love is. As well as providing me with infinite support, which have ultimately proven to be valuable life lessons learnt. To this very day, we remain a very closely connected and loving family. Love each one of you, madly!

To my incredible husband, Chris who had so many reasons in the past to leave and still, you decided to stand firmly by me and love me unconditionally. Thank you, you are a greater man for it!

It is with tremendous thanks and gratitude to each one of you that I can write this book today. You have each played such an instrumental role in my life and I don’t know where I would be if it wasn’t for each and every one of YOU?

Thank you for always believing in me. Thank you for continuing to inspire and support me over the years. I love and cherish each one of you so very much.

I would also like to thank and make special mention of Akeso Crescent Clinic and all the medical staff. You all played an integral part in my recovery and I learnt a great deal from you all. May your holistic approach to recovery stand me and all your patients, in good and healthy stead, forever more.

Thank you to Pastor Chris and New Life Church for enabling me to grow in my faith and journey with Jesus Christ. You have assisted me through so many different facets of my life over the past decade and blessed me with invaluable knowledge and inspiration. Thank you for accepting me and my Children unconditionally. I love being part of your congregation.

All my love and appreciation to each single one of YOU.

Thank you for being, YOU xx

Contents

1. Never Feeling Good Enough!

2. The Power of Words – Become Our Belief System

3. Reclaiming Your Power

4. Forgiveness / Forgiveness Sets You Free

5. Emotional Bullying

6. What is Depression?

7. What is Addiction?

8. How do You Know if You are a Drug Addict?

9. Admitting that You have a Problem

10. Knowing When to Seek Help?

11. What is Spirituality?

12. The 12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous

13. Stages of Recovery

14. My Trigger Inventory

15. Who are You, Without Your Addiction?

16. Getting to Know the Real You

17. Tools to Help You Stay on the Road to Recovery

18. Living a Healthy and Balanced Life as a Recovering Addict

19. Choosing Happiness

20. Living the Life You were Destined to Live

21. Making Your Dreams a Reality

22. A Loving Note to Parents

23. Additional Books by the Author

24. About the Author

Life’s Pathway

You’ve overcome so many things,

and every time, you’ve grown

Through sheer determination

and the wisdom that you’ve shown.

So, as you face this journey,

from the moment you begin,

Know that God will guide you,

and you’ll have the strength to win.

Hello there!

Alrightie then, so who am I? My name is Shannon, Patricia and I was born on the 9th July 1974 in Empangeni, Kwazulu-Natal, South Africa. As I couldn’t pronounce my English surname, I would call myself, Shannie B which many of my lifelong friends still call me today! Ha ha! 😊 Here are photos of me as a baby and age 2. Toooo cute, don’t you think?!!! 😉

Above is my brother, Ryan and I at the age of 4 and 5 years old.

Summary of Addictions

Over the years, I have been the victim of the disgusting disease, Bulimia Nervosa for 13 ½ years. Then came the Addictions to Alcohol; (Approximately 25 years) Nicotine; (21 years) Prescription and Over-the-Counter Medication - Sleeping tablets; painkillers and anti-anxiety pills (Approximately 25 years). Coupled with addictions to sugar (28 years) and caffeine. (28 years) So, yes! I’ve done a sterling job, covering a great deal of the Addiction spectrum!!!! Haha!!! 😊

Thanks be to God that I am now continuing every day, on my full and holistic journey of recovery. And Every day, for the rest of my life! A journey which I would like, if I may, to share with each and every one of YOU! 😊 As I believe that my lessons learnt can only further assist you on your individual journeys to full and complete recovery.

What were the Contributing Factors to

My Downfalls?

Becoming an Addict of any substance or behaviour doesn’t just happen over-night. you don’t merely wake up one day and decide, Right! Today I’m going to be a heroine or gambling Addict! No! it’s doesn’t work like that! There are many factors and events which occur along the way, which results in a person becoming the victim to an often deadly and destructive Addiction.

So, how did my life become so entwined with various struggles of addiction? Struggles which extended for more than 3 decades! Well, here is a brief overview of the experiences I endured, which left lasting effects on me, contributing to my belief system, my lack of self-esteem and self-doubt.

Perhaps by allowing me to give you an overview of what the contributing factors and events were in my life, will assist in shedding some light on yours?

Never Feeling Good Enough!

Despite being raised in a very loving and caring household, I constantly felt like an absolute misfit in my own family. Never quite feeling as if I truly belonged.

My Dad was an exceptionally high achiever and very quickly, I learnt that unless you were 1st in everything that I did, your efforts were done in vain. And even when I did excel, there was never real acknowledgement for it. I wasn’t exceptionally good or competitive in any ball sports and so grew up in my brother’s shadow.

I was always made fun of, for how I looked and for my body type. Thus, resulting in me having an inferiority complex, coupled with tremendous self-doubt. I craved a sense of belonging. A feeling of being accepted and loved unconditionally. Being an affectionate person, I yearned for physical touch.

We also had a family friend whose nickname for me growing up was, Fattie. Although, I was mortified whenever I was called this, I daren’t challenge him, as ‘he’ was the adult who should always be respected. Always respect the rank, is what I was always taught. I was also told by a close family member that I was, a compulsive eater. I was deeply offended and affected by this remark. And it haunted me for decades to come. The other incident which I recall experiencing was when we went to visit my paternal Gran. Having not seen her for some time yet, she greeted me with a, Oh, you’ve gained a lot of weight since the last time I saw you. Hmmmm! Lovely to see you too Granny, I thought.

Also, at school one day, in Health Education, all the students in the class were required to have themselves weighed. When it was my turn to climb onto the scale, my Teacher gasped in amazement. As if she was shocked to see how much I weighed. This left me feeling absolutely devastated and from that day onwards, I refused to wear shorts or a leotard for any sporting activities held at school.

By this stage, I strongly believed that I was in fact, fat, and that I had a serious weight problem. Afterall, how could all 5 adult’s name calling and remarks, all be wrong?? Here is a photograph of me at this