Discovering NLP

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COPYRIGHT - No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from John James Santangelo PhD. Reviewers and authors may use brief passages with proper recognition and permission. Please contact us: LANLP.com

© 2024 by John James Santangelo, PhD

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Discovering NLP cover design and interior layout was created by BartSmithBooks.com. Andrea Fishman for her outstanding commitment to editing this wonderful book. All Rights Reserved.

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DISCLAIMER

Please note the information contained in this book is provided for educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as, nor replace medical or psychiatric advice. If you are suffering from any physical or psychiatric condition, seek advice from a qualified health professional.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

i.  Dedication

ii.  Forward by Kris Hallbom

iii. Introduction

1. Roadmap To Success

• LIFE?

• Success & Failure

• Pain / Pleasure Principle 

• Perspective vs Reality

2. What is NLP?

• History of NLP 

• Modeling 

• Attitudes & Techniques 

• NLP Success Formula 

3. Introduction to NLP

• The Map is Not the Territory   

• Communication Mode

• Delete, Distort & Generalization 

• Behavior & Results

4. Presuppositions of NLP

• 14 New Beliefs 

• Power of Beliefs 

• Goal Setting – Creating The Future 

• Keys To Achievable Outcomes

5. Sensory Acuity

• Observing Other People

• Calibration 

• Thinking Makes It So 

• Lie Detection Skills 

6. Rapport

• Mirroring & Matching

• Pacing & Leading 

• Mis-Matching 

• Getting Free Stuff 

7. Representational Systems

• Representational Characteristics 

• Predicates & Predicate Phrases

• Representational System Test

• Eye Accessing Patterns

8. Sub-Modalities

• Associated vs Dissociated 

• Mapping Across 

• Like-To-Dislike 

• SWISH pattern 

9. Anchors and State Management

• Resource Anchors

• Collapsing Anchors

• Change Personal History

• New Behavior Generator

10. Language – The Art & Science of Communication

• Words vs. Meaning 

• Presuppositions of language

• 12 Linguistic Presuppositions Q&A’s

• Presuppositions or Mind Reads

• Chunking 

• Reframing 

11. Meta-Model – Questions Are The Answer

• Asking the Right Question

• Structure of Icebergs 

• Specificity vs Ambiguity 

• Ten Meta-Model Questions

12. Milton Model – That Crazy Ole Man

• Milton Model 

• Trance & the Unconscious 

• Hypnotic language Patterns 

• Ericksonian Therapy

13. Time Lines – Back to the Future

• There Is No Time 

• Discovering Your Timeline 

• In-Time vs Through-Time 

• Uncovering The Root Cause

14. Values – What’s Most Important

• Conflicting Incongruence 

• Hierarchy of Criteria 

• Frames of Reference 

• Content Free Filters

15. Strategies, Recipes and Programs

• Working With Strategies

• T.O.T.E. Model 

• Elicitation, Design, Utilization and Installation 

• Spelling, Deep-Love, Motivation Strategies 

16. Your Journey Continues 

• Resources to Stay Connected 

• NLP Glossary

• Gifts, Products & Offers

• About John and LANLP.com

DEDICATION

Dedicated to those who want to achieve a life they dream of,

free from struggle, frustration and, most importantly, regret.

A life of happiness, purpose and, above all, PASSION!

For all my hard-working students and clients...

thank you for giving me the opportunity to help

make your life a living miracle!

To my mom, who has always believed in me,

allowed my curiosity to grow and

fostered my knowledge in psychology!

To my sisters, brother and father,

and to my wife, Traci... I love you all.

PERSONAL THANK YOU

I would like to express my full respect and appreciation to those who made this book possible: Bart Smith and Andrea Fishman. In addition, all my amazing NLP instructors along my distinguished path: Robert Dilts, Judith DeLozier, Tim & Kris Hallbom, Suzie Smith, David Gordon, Shelle Rose-Charvet, Tad James, Tony Robbins, Chris Howard, Gary De Rodriquez, Steve & Connirae Andreas, Co-developers; Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

PREFACE

Welcome... I’d first like to thank you for wanting to discover a new way to experience, enjoy and succeed in the world and ultimately to enhance the quality of your life. Very few people are willing to push past their comfort zones and begin a journey of self-discovery and change. It can be scary! So I am truly honored to have a hand along your path!

Second, I AM HERE FOR YOU... I mean it! It’s funny when I say this to others because very few take me up on it. But try me out. I’m all about ‘saying what you mean and meaning what you say!’ Allow me to answer any questions you may have about NLP, behavioral change or success strategies! [email protected]

Third, as a Results Coach, Professional Speaker, Author, Infopreneur, and an NLP Trainer... I LOVE HELPING PEOPLE and it’s how I produce an amazing income doing what I love to do. We all should be compensated for our works and generosity that we share with the world. And anyone that has tirelessly pursued their passions and pushed beyond their comfort zones to succeed, truly understands what I am talking about... it’s called Reciprocity! What you put out into the world comes back tenfold.

I’d love your ‘constructive’ comments, like many of you, I’m always looking to become better in what I love to do. Be bold, speak up and let your voice be heard! It’s up to you to discover the passion in your life, push past self-imposed limitations to succeed!

Remind yourself; This is MY life and there are NO do-overs!

"If you knew how powerful your thoughts were

you’d choose them more wisely!"

Here’s to your success,

John James Santangelo

DISCOVERING NLP Author

FORWARD

by Kris Hallbom

I remember when I first heard the words Neuro-Linguistic Programming more than 30 years ago. It was as if I had been struck by a bolt of lightening. I still remember to this day where I was standing when I first heard those words....

I was a junior in college and really depressed because my study partner (who was also my next-door neighbor) committed suicide in his car. To make matters worse, he did it in the parking space right in front of the door to my apartment.

After his death, I fell into a deep depression and couldn’t motivate myself to study or do my homework.  My grades went completely downhill and I was officially flunking college. Fortunately for me, one of my Psychology professors noticed my academic decline and asked me if he could try doing some NLP with me to help pull me out of my slump. 

Little did I know that within 30 minutes of my first NLP session, my professor would completely bring me out of my depression. Not only this, but I was utterly amazed with the way he worked with me because it was so different than any of the other psychology processes I had learned... and I was hooked!

The year was 1987 and I was getting my degree in Psychology. I graduated in the Spring of 1988 and signed up for the NLP Practitioner Certification training a few months later.  I was so electrified by the promise of this strange new field called, Neuro Linguistic Programming that I decided to dedicate my life to the study of NLP. I ended up taking every training I could possibly take in  NLP. I read every book that had been written at the time, and I started actively doing NLP with myself and other people.

Here it is 32 years later, and I’ve had the good fortune to teach NLP all over the world, and to use it in my private practice with NLP Coaching clients. I have seen thousands of my NLP students and clients experience levels of happiness they didn’t know were possible, achieve their life-long goals and dreams, and become their best selves.

To me, NLP is ultimately the science of success and the study of human excellence. My hope is that when you read this book, you will use it as a guide to become your very best self, while making the world a better place. My other hope is that you will use it to achieve your biggest goals, and to breakthrough any barriers that get in the way of you achieving your dreams.

I’ve had the special opportunity of working with John through the years and appreciate all the good things he has done to further the field of NLP ... including what he’s written in this book!

The NLP Institute of California – NLPCA com

Wealthy Mind Courses – TheWealthyMind com

"Our strategy is to operate an organization that is a vehicle for the dissemination of what works.

Valuing practicality, relationship, integrity, respect, quality, and effectiveness."

INTRODUCTION

Welcome to the amazing community of NLP!

Whichever way this book has found its way to you; be it a friend mentioning its amazing results, perhaps Tony Robbins, a sales program, or from someone who graduated an NLP practitioner course... I personally want to thank you!

I’d like to think you’re an explorer; someone who is curious and destined to find the answers you’ve been searching for... because I know the information contained in this book can transform your life, as it did mine and so many others discovering NLP.

As an NLP trainer for 20 years I’ve found most ‘introductory’ books are much too complicated for the lay person and beginning students wanting to learn this amazing technology. So I decided to create an ‘introduction book’ as a way to more easily learn and comprehend the complexities that most NLP books offer.

This book is a full, basic introduction, much like our NLP manual we use in our ‘live’ training programs. You’ll find it much easier to grasp AND comprehend the ideas, formula’s and strategies NLP has to offer.

There is one common thread that runs through this book - to help you learn, control and change your conscious & unconscious emotional states. Because when you learn to control your emotional states, you can control your decisions thus controlling the quality of your life. Life can really be this simple, it really can, AND cannot... It’s up to you!

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of decisions you make daily and those decisions are predicated on the emotional state you are in when you make them. Master your states, master your life... SIMPLE!  And, because I’ve been there myself; disappointed, struggling and frustrated, I’d like to be there for you, really! Because I had the same wonderful help from so many of my amazing instructors, I want to give back to you!

How can NLP change your life?

There’s a true story about a 20 year old boy, Napoleon Hill, who happened to meet the world’s first billionaire, Andrew Carnegie, back in 1929. Napoleon was commissioned by the businessman to write a ‘philosophy of success’ which became the best seller: "Think and Grow Rich" as we know it today.

I first read this amazing book at 14 years old and became obsessively curious about the mindset of the 500 leaders he interviewed from across the globe. He uncovered the mental strategies these incredible men utilized to achieve their massive success and become prominent historical figures of the 20th century.

I understood, even at that age, it wasn’t WHAT you did per se to create wealth and abundance but HOW you thought about what you do that creates the results you desire. It’s about taking full responsibility for all you do which drives your success. Success was not so much about the money, it’s about the challenge of creating something you’re passionate about that produces on-going financial abundance.

But let’s be real here, money IS important, and if you don’t agree with me on this, you probably don’t have much of it to support your thesis. Money is just a value we place upon a bartering system we use for the things we want. Can you be happy without any of it, sure, but it’s so much easier to travel along our journey with the comforts money can bring us.

Life should be about LIVING not merely surviving! No one should suffer because they were given the wrong internal mental maps from childhood, usually from our primary caretakers!

NLP can give you the specific strategies to reprogram the limiting beliefs and negative decisions you carry around today. It’s now up to you to decide and create a new path for your success! My wish is that you actually utilize this information to help create the life you’ve always dreamt about and go on to help other people fulfill their dreams as well.

Are you ready to begin an amazing journey? LET’S GO FOR IT!

CHAPTER 1

Roadmap To Success!

- a journey not a race

"You can have everything in life you want,

if you will just help other people get what they want."

~ Zig Ziglar ~

LIFE is what happens when you have other plans!

If I were to ask you; What is Life? What would be your answer? (HOW you answer this question predominately determines the choices you make in your life.) Would you say; it’s about enjoying time spent with family and friends, or being in a loving, caring relationship, or being at peace with God?

Or maybe you’re the type of person who loves to build and create things, or thrives in a career where your services or products benefit society. You are responsible, hard-working, focused and love the thrill of the hunt?

Perhaps you’re someone who loves nature; helping animals, the community and the planet, protecting wildlife and all things green and living? Or just maybe you’re the type of individual who loves an adrenaline rush; living on the edge, traveling, going from one place to the next, never really planting any roots, because you love change and excitement?

Here are two things I KNOW:

#1 - Life does not care about us either way, good or bad.

#2 - Life keeps progressing, moving forward regardless of what we think and do while we are here.

Now here is what I BELIEVE:

#1 – We are given free-will to believe and think on our own, and create our own thoughts, and thoughts become things.

#2 – We are born with limitless abilities and power beyond our comprehension. You are more powerful than you can imagine.

The true gift of life is WHAT WE CAN DO WITH IT! Life really is amazing. We’re capable of making wonderful things, creating beautiful experiences, and feeling exhilarating emotions while enjoying it all along our journey.

So many of us though, take this for granted. We expect to live a long time, expect we’ll wake up to another day, expect life will work out just fine for us. Usually it’s not until something happens to rock our world that we sit up and take notice of what truly matters. Therefore it is important to know WHAT LIFE IS FOR YOU!

Life, as we know it, is just one decision after another, all strung together to give us a series of events and experiences. The better decisions you make, the better experiences you have, the better memories you create. Have you ever made, what you would call a bad decision? Of course, you have. We all have. That is called Life! And life is about learning lessons, and the ability to manage our daily experiences. Think about that for a moment... MANAGE our experiences!

We are either operating from opportunity or we are trying to control crisis! And it’s how we MANAGE those experiences that produce our results; our successes or failures. The one thing that determines the success or failure of our results is how we manage our emotions throughout the process. Despite our best intentions, our decisions are shaped by the emotional states we bathe ourselves in daily. Control your states, control your decisions. Control your decisions, control your future. SIMPLE!

How many times have you thought to yourself, If I could do things differently, if I could go back into the past and change a thing or two, my life would be totally awesome!

Yes, we’ve all thought about it at some point. You wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t. The key to creating an awesome life is to slow down when making important, life-altering decisions. Put yourself into an empowering emotional state BEFORE you decide, because every decision you make is made from an emotional state of mind in that moment. I’ll say this again, better emotional states, mean better decisions!

My favorite poem: Life’s Lessons- Cherie-Carter Scott

You will receive a body. 

You may like it or you may hate it.

But it will be yours for the entire time period this time around.

You will learn lessons.

You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called LIFE.

Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or you think them irrelevant and stupid.

There are no mistakes, only lessons.

Growth is a process of trial and error-experimentation.

Failed experiments are part of the process as the experiments that work. A lesson is repeated until it is learned.

A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson. Learning lessons does not end.

There is no part of life that does not continue lessons.

If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

THERE is no better than HERE.

When your THERE becomes HERE, you’ll