Momentum's Force

CHAPTER 1

No Insurance

July 1979

Several weeks had passed since Larnie had made his surreptitious visit to the jewelry store, when the phone rang.

Hello?

Hi Larnie.  It's Graeme.  How are you and the family?

Fine Graeme.  What’s the occasion you callin me?  I'm...well kinda busy right now. 

Oh sorry to bother you.  I can keep it short if you like or call back later, perhaps?

Larnie was unnerved hearing Graeme's voice on the other end of the line.  Graeme's friendly phone manner had a feel of superficial courtesy, and Larnie couldn't recall another time he had phoned his house.  His call could only be about the visit he made to Graeme's store.  He expected the assistant he dealt with in the store would call him in due course - not the storeowner.  He wanted to squeeze any knowledge of his visit to the store into a tiny ball that no one could see.

After they exchanged a few niceties about their families, Graeme transitioned quickly to the reason for his intrusion.

Larnie, I'm calling about that necklace you brought into my store for an appraisal.

His suspicions about the reason for the call were confirmed – it was about the jewelry.  The mention of it caused a stressful restriction in his throat that his secret may get out, freezing his voice momentarily, as his mind raced.

How could he ensure that Graeme didn't tell anyone in the family?  He looked into the mirror as if it would provide answers and saw the sweat beads on his forehead, and the grimace of anxiety on his face.  Then, the hope of what the necklace may fetch in real dollars rose into his being.  He unhitched his breath and kept his voice just above a whisper. 

Oh yeah, that.  Of course.  I forgot all about it actually.  I was just cleanin out some old family jewelry and thought I should get an idea of its worth before I put it away again.  I didn’t mean to bother you with it.  I was thinking your assistant would...um, you know...handle it.  It’s no big deal.

No problem.  It’s just that I had to do some research on this.  Quite a bit actually.  But now I have an idea of its value and you should come to my store to retrieve it.

Oh, okay.  Would sometime next week work?

Not really, my old friend.  I don’t want it in my store much longer and would appreciate it if you could come tomorrow, or even today, to retrieve it.

It's really that urgent?  I can come next week.

No, I don’t want to wait that long.

Well, can you tell me what its appraised value is and what about the other jewelry I brought in?

Larnie, I can hardly hear you, could you repeat that?

kumph.

Huh?

Sorry, just clearing my throat.  I was just asking how much you think it's worth and if you looked at the other jewelry I brought in? 

You brought in other jewelry?  I don’t know anything about that.  I only know about this necklace.  What else did you bring in?

Oh.  Um.  Well, I need to check the box...um; maybe I just thought I brought in other...

The box?

My jewelry box.

Well, my good friend, I can hardly hear you again.  I need you to come in and pick up your necklace.

Yes.  Yes, of course.  Well can you tell me the appraised value of the necklace then?

rrshquek.  cukcuk.

The yowl of the front door opening filled his ears.  Mae was home.  He could feel the heat of her presence in the house. 

Graeme, I have to go.

Okay, just come to my store today or tomorrow please.  I don’t have the right insurance to keep your necklace here.

click

Someone had hung up on the party line.

Okay I will.  Bye.

After the abrupt end to the call, Graeme looked down at the necklace in his hand.  Its blue diamond flashed at him.  If only it belonged to him and not Larnie Teach.  When he discovered its value and connection to a lost treasure from the Second World War, his thoughts quickly shifted to the risks of keeping it in the store and the insurance he would need.  He took a moment to admire its details again, including the gold pieces circling the diamond.  It appeared to draw all the light in the room to its brilliance. 

Graeme exhaled the air from his cheeks and carefully laid the necklace into a velvet case.  He didn't like the idea of keeping it in the store any longer, but he moved to place it back into the wall safe, when he stopped suddenly.  The domino teetering in his mind as to what do next, had fallen. 

He looked over at his car keys resting on the counter and reached for them.  Larnie's house was a mere ten minutes away.  He moved to the door, when the phone rang.  Suddenly annoyed at its intrusion, he picked up the receiver with aggression and his voice carried his agitation.

Hello?!

Oh...hi.

Larnie?

"Oh, it is you Graeme.  What time are you open til?"

CHAPTER 2

No moss

Two months prior, May 1979

Silence filled the car on the drive home.  Before they left, Larnie was purposely chatty about great plays and the enjoyment of watching the game.  Eddie gave little verbal response and then went silent.  Now the only words spoken came when Larnie's thoughts spilled out in an audible voice.  He had listened to his dad have conversations with himself.  He would laugh and make fun of it.  Now he had picked up the same practice.

Larnie felt neglected when it came to encouragement and support from his alcoholic father and promised himself to be the father to his kids that he wished he had.  But the offerings of life - the busyness, the bills, the maintenance of things, the daily routines and his own anxiety – had slowly built walls that he now struggled to deconstruct.  His anxiety was a wall that crippled him at times with fear that he may fail to provide for his family - an irony given what he would later discover.  His own self-doubt – like a nagging old injury – shadowed him and threatened to sabotage all that was good in his life.  He combated it with a predictable life that deliberately shunned change.  He still clung to the hope that he made a difference.  Hope that he made a positive impact on them, even when he saw little evidence of it.  He provided for his family and took them on a vacation to Hathaway Lake ever year.  Yet scraping at his heart was a desire for something more. 

As his foot pressed harder on the gas, while accelerating out of a corner, he had an ill feeling that hope was not enough.  The routine of life had become busy and mundane.  Even when he broke the routine and worked harder, it felt he was in cement.  No progress.  No movements forward.  He pressed the break in the turn as he thought of the abrupt turn in his thinking that occurred in his life recently.  Yet, he still felt his failure to inspire his children for a different life.  Now his biggest fear was in his rear view mirror - as he looked to see Eddie asleep.  Had he become his father, as a parent? 

His daughter Bev had graduated from high school a year ago and Eddie had one year remaining.  He wonders what Bev's plans are for the future, as she doesn't share such things with him nor does she seek him out for advice.  For that, she goes to her mom or Ma as the kids call Mae. 

Eddie's team had just lost the championship game and the winning goal was on his stick in the slot, but he froze.  The opportunity was lost and so was the game.  Eddie was despondent and quiet afterwards.  Larnie tried to encourage him as he talked about the great season of hockey that just concluded.  When Eddie responded with, I suck and I don't want to play hockey again, Larnie could hear his own father's voice when he offered the same platitudes: that's ridiculous, no you don't and you can't let one game or one play make you quit something. 

A riot of thoughts started their drum in his head.  He wanted to do and say the right things to inspire Eddie, yet also push him to be the best he can and to learn his own strengths and weaknesses.  How can he do that when the boy can be so uncommunicative, keeping his thoughts and feelings to himself.  Then when he does express them, it is often negative, self-depreciating.  What is going on in that 16-year-old head of his?  Had Eddie inherited his own self-doubt gene?  The thought looms like a threatening cloud over his life.  Larnie shook his head, as if to scatter the negativity from his mind.  He lectured his own self-doubt, determined to press on.  He has life lessons and he has to find a way to pass on to his children. 

Six months had passed since his own outlook on life undertook a transformation.  It all started with a conversation at work that set off the unspooling of the tight and constricted view from which he saw his life. 

When he was sixteen, he quit school to take a job as a truck driver for Thetis.  Many at the time quit school early for good paying jobs.  His thoughts of the future was a basic plan followed by many.  Get a good paying job, get married, buy a house, have kids and retire with a pension.  The job with Thetis appeared to promise all of that.  He was a teenager when he started, the same week the company was celebrating its 50th anniversary.  He walked out of the high school before he completed grade ten and onto a path with a well-defined and certain future.  He didn't think much about the future after that, except for plans to go fishing on the weekends and holidays, or to go to the odd hockey game.  He had a general idea from the company pension at what age he would be able to retire.  He'd be able to fish more often then.  He didn't particularly enjoy his job.  He didn't think he was suppose to.  Did anyone enjoy their job?  Work was work.  He was one of the more experienced drivers and he was efficient and good at it.  That seemed enough.

His desires were simple.  He wanted a better life for his kids than he had and figured he was doing that.  A good father who provides for his family and takes them on camping vacations, was the description given at his 40th birthday party a few years ago.  He went to church, found joy in sports and they always did something as a family during the holidays.  Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years were all family time.

He failed to realize that the slow boil approach to his work had permeated most other aspects of his life, which included his relationship with his kids.  Failed.  He used that word as he described it to his wife Mae when he told her he felt awoken to a new way of thinking.  She disputed his analysis and pointed out the annual camping trips to Hathaway as an example.  Perhaps he was a bit too harsh on himself, but he was resolute to make a change. 

It was a conversation with Stan Thetis that broke an ostensible spell on his life and changed it's trajectory. 

The company owner, Stan Stringbean Thetis, treated everyone well.  He was fond of saying he didn't need a union in his shop because he treats employees as family.  Larnie would often see Stringbean, with his long legs and swimmers build, walking around the warehouse.  He'd say hi to the staff and ask them about their families and their vacation plans.  Larnie enjoyed the seven weeks’ of vacation every year and the benefits largely paid for Bev’s braces.  His work was stable and he completed most tasks by rote.  His life had become a long string of routines. 

If there was a particularly long day at work that broke that routine, he'd pause and wonder what his life could have been.  What if he had been encouraged to explore his skills and passions?  Could he have been a hockey player or a teacher?  Would he inspire and change lives if he had a different path?  As his mind went down such holes, bitterness would build within his soul.  It blackened many of his days.  Anxiety.  Bitterness.  His dad would often be the primary target of the blame.  You’re mind never shuts off his mom would say, before adding, You think too much.  Well, he says in his head, as if conversing with his now deceased mom, this thing called life is much more complicated than I was led to believe.  Then he would shut out those voices for a period as he steered back into the groove of his routines.

The day that changed was like most other days.  Larnie was at the warehouse loading furniture and appliances into his truck when he saw Stan Thetis walk towards him with a purpose in his step. 

His big hand engulfed Larnie's as he shook it.

Hi Larnie.

Hello Mr. Thetis.

Please, call me Stan or Stringbean for that matter.  Many people call me by my nickname.

How are you today?

Good sir.

"You have a family at home, right?

Yes a son and a daughter.

Of course.  It's Bev and Edward?

Yes.  That's right.

Stringbean smiled at the confirmation.

Glad to know my memory still works.  Your wife, Mae, how's she doing?

Stringbean's ability to connect with people was legendary.  He had captured Larnie's attention and devotion to the company.

She's good.  Thanks for asking.

That’s nice.  I hope they all make it to the company picnic this year.  We have some great entertainers that I think everyone will enjoy.  Larnie, I know our company has gotten quite large, but I consider all of our employees - and you are one of our best - as part of our family.

Stringbean put his finger to Larnie's chest to emphasize his point.

We simply couldn't make it as a company without devoted people like you, delivering the products to our stores.

Thank you Mr. Thetis.

"I believe you've been with us since you were a teenager and I hear good things about you and the exemplary customer service you provide.  So Larnie, I came to talk to you today as we have an opening coming up in our warehouse and I was wondering if you might be interested? 

Thank you Mr. Thetis.  Can I ask what the job is?

Of course.  It’s an entry-level position in the warehouse.  As a warehouseman, you would report to a warehouse foreman.  Yours would be Keith Oakguard.  You’d enjoy working with Keith, all the staff do.  It would be more money than you're making now, ninety cents an hour more.  You’d have the same benefits you have now.  I am not sure what days you’d work.

Thank you Mr. Thetis.  I'm very interested.  What should I do next?

Well, first let me say, you are a real asset to our company, Larnie.  I hope you take this opportunity.  We could use the skills and knowledge you have gained with us as a truck driver in the warehouse.  You'd be a valuable asset there.  I'll have Keith contact you and answer any other questions you may have.  Now, before you get back to work, I'm going to shake your hand and you're going to call me something other than Mr. Thetis, okay?

Thank you, Stan.

Larnie shook Stan Thetis’ hand and with that ended one of the most important conversations in his life.

Prior to that conversation, he didn’t think of life beyond being a truck driver for Thetis.  That conversation meant more than just a change in jobs.  It altered his thought process.  It lifted a blind spot in his life and opened up a new view.  Someone believed in him enough to consider him an asset to the company. 

The new job brought an excitement he could feel in his steps when he'd walk into the warehouse.  Almost immediately, Larnie felt this is something he could do well.  Made for.  Why had no one told him about this before or steered him in this direction?  Knowing the products and customers from his truck driving, he knew what to order and instinctively what would be the most popular.  When a new product came in, like a new sofa or appliance, he would examine it carefully for its workmanship.  He developed an intuition of what would sell and to what kind of customers.  He realized he was learning as much about himself as he was the products.  He took great pride in his work.  Gone were the days where he'd watch the clock waiting for the day to go quicker.  When the whistle would go at 5:00 PM to end the workday, it seemed too soon.  His capacity to retain information had increased along with his energy. 

With the confidence boost came a view towards life that was less restrictive and reactive.  A view that changed the script he was following and made life more like an adventure.  His old approach to work and life seemed foreign to him now.  Like he'd lived in someone else's body. 

Soon after he started in the warehouse, Thetis’ expanded its department stores to include groceries.  He embraced it with a renewed enthusiasm.  Some of his co-workers were skeptical and said the company shouldn't expand in an area they are not known for.  He bristled at such comments.  The company was strong and well known in the community.  Other department stores hadn't moved into groceries because they lacked the forward thinking and innovation of Thetis, he'd say.  His thoughts, approach, and how he articulated things had changed.  He saw those co-workers as people who only ever wanted the status quo and that just mirrored the old Larnie he had shed. 

One night after passionate lovemaking, Mae pushed on her elbows and looked down on him lying on the bed.

What's going on?

What do yeah mean?

What do I mean?  You suddenly have all this energy.  You'd often forget things I tell you and lately you remember.

She lifted the sheet covering his chest.

You have a superman costume under there?

Their laughter filled the room as she laid her head on his chest.

All kidding aside, this job has taught me a life lesson I should have figured out years ago.  It's about momentum.  All of life has momentum to it.  You can use it to your advantage, if you choose.  You can passively allow whatever wave of momentum catches you to take hold, and hope for the best.  A better life awaits for when you choose to watch for the waves that will fuel your passions, and give you energy and purpose.  Watch for those waves to come in and catch them.

This new job has taught that? 

Mae, this job has brought a new momentum to my life.  I know people at work who seem miserable.  Misery has its own momentum.  I was caught in that myself.  The best way to combat misery's grip is to create a positive momentum that continues to grow.  The momentum I have now, gives me more energy.  More purpose.

As he was replaying that moment with Mae in his head, he glanced in the rear-view mirror to see Eddie’s eyes still closed.

How could he impart these things to his son and daughter, so they'd challenge themselves and experience all that they may be capable of?  In work, in play, in relationships, in love.  In life.  Larnie wanted to stop and write down some of the thoughts bouncing in his head as he repeated them in his mind.  Life does not mean always taking the easiest path or the road most likely to be devoid of conflict or adversary.  A life that is passive, just taking what comes our way isn’t the way a person should live.  No moss he’d tell them. 

Dad?

Yes, Eddie.

Did you say something about moss?

Just thinking out loud.

Oh, okay.

Hey, let me explain.  You should approach life with a no moss attitude.

Okay.  I will.

You haven’t even heard me explain it yet.  Moss grows on trees over long periods of time.  Trees that don’t move and are in one place a long time.

There are trees that move?

Oh funny, smarty pants.  Actually, that's a witty response, Eddie.  Good for you.  But what I'm saying is that your life should have no moss.  It's okay to take breaks and relax at times and even necessary, but you should always be learning things in life and not staying still like the trees.

Okay.

Make sense to you?

Sure.  Don’t be like a tree.

Well...yeah.  Don’t just stay in one place in life like a tree.

The conversation hatched an idea in his head.  They always took the family vacation to his favourite fishing spot.  Had it become moss?  What if he could take them to a place that none of them had been before for a vacation?  A place where they could have a shared experience and bring more depth to his relationship with the kids.  But how would he pay for such a thing?  They pulled in the driveway, as Larnie made a mental list of things he might sell.

CHAPTER 3

The Diary

Practicing with his dad made his shot worse.  That was Eddie’s assessment.  His dad kept telling him you are getting better with every shot, Eddie.  Eddie’s stick had just made connection with the puck, after missing it entirely three times in row.  He was certain he’d miss the next one and his dad would be silent.  Silent.  Until he finally caught the puck on his stick again. 

Dad, hockey season's over.  Do I have to do this now?

Eddie tried to summon the courage to say that he was old enough to make his own decisions and he was done with hockey, but his dad responded before he could push the words out.

Practice can’t end just because the season's over, Eddie.  Breaks are important, but a break for many months without any practice is not good.  That can dull your skills and make you rusty.

Eddie stared at his dad with a look of confusion before he surrendered his head to gravity’s force and looked at the small nicks on the edges of the puck.

Okay, Eddie, look up, please.  I get it.  Maybe you do need a break from hockey right now.

With that and another lecture from his dad, Eddie took a break from hockey.  It would be the last discussion they'd have about his hockey.  Eddie hoped that would also be the case with his classmates as he headed out the door to walk to school the next day.

It was the last day of the school year.  The bell rang, signally the beginning of classes, as he shut his locker.  He wasn't often late, but he'd join several others in their tardiness as the asperity of the teacher's response belied her powerless to do anything on the last day.  His true hope was to survive the day without any mention of the game.  Chuck was the one he dreaded the most hearing about the shot, or rather non-shot, which cost them the championship.  His best friend Gabe would tell him that Chuck needs to grow up, but Eddie still felt the sting of his taunts, even if not as sharply as when they first started a few years earlier.  He told himself, I don’t need to be told I am the loser who blew the game, I already know that.

Keith was the first one Eddie saw as he walked through the doors.  Quiet Keith would not likely say much, even if he was their best defenceman. 

Hey Eddie.  My dad said it was a good game last night, even though we lost. 

Yeah. 

Eddie wondered if Keith's dad said it would have been great had he not fanned on that shot.

During recess, Eddie stayed in the classroom and chatted with the teacher, Ms. Steale.  He asked her what other sports or arts might be offered the next year.  She mentioned soccer, theatre, and that he should talk to the gym teacher.  He asked about her plans for the summer as he looked around to see who else remained in the classroom.  He was content to have eaten up almost half the recess – a time delay before he would face others who may comment on the game. 

He saw him as soon as he left the classroom.

Hey Teach! 

Whenever Chuck referred to Eddie by his last name, his abs would tighten in preparation for the blow to come.  Chuck delivered.

Teach, you should change your last name to Miss. 

He walked in the opposite direction, but Chuck followed.

Hey Teach, remember our bet?  You owe me two dollars.  You said your team would win and well, we all know what happened.  Don’t run away from me.

Eddie wouldn't have bet Chuck anything except that he goaded him, saying that his team was made of losers.  Eddie was with his small group of friends when Chuck added that he bet him two dollars on the game.  Sure, was all Eddie said.  He regretted it immediately.  Now Chuck was going to hunt him down for it. 

Chuck grabbed Eddie by the elbow and catapulted himself in front of his shaken prey.  Well Teach, where is it?  My two bucks.  Give it to me now.  Eddie started to reach into his pockets when Ms. Steale came into view and Chuck quickly cowered.

Chuck, what are doing?  Leave him alone.  You can’t just grab someone like that.  Now get on your way. 

As Chuck left without a word, he gave Eddie one final stare and Eddie’s eyes hit the floor.

You okay Eddie? 

I’m fine.

Don’t let him bully you like that, okay?

Okay.

Eddie knew that she meant well, but Ms. Steale would just make things more miserable for the next encounter he'd have with Chuck. 

Hey, don’t pay any attention to him; he’s a jerk that acts like a child and everyone knows it.

Thanks Gabe.  The pain in Eddie’s gut subsided at the voice of his best friend.  He wished he had Gabe’s confidence and smarts.

Hey, a bunch of us are getting together for lunch, to celebrate the end of the school year.  We're meeting outside the yellow building.  See you then.

Gabe lifted Eddie’s spirts, as did the prospects of lunch with trusted friends.

Classes ended early, giving them an extended lunch break.  There were fourteen of them crowded into the small café, a block from the school.  Eddie looked at the faces of his friends, many that he had known most of his life.  He wondered if they would still be friends when they finished high school in a year's time.  Raj, Pete and Gabe had played soccer, hockey and video games with him on many weekends.  Nadia, Yvonne and Mina were some of the girls they would hang out with and invite to movies and roller skating events.  Cheryl and Carl would join them too as would Angelo, Kathy, Connie, Keith and Ty.  They were all there.  They had grown up together and had many shared experiences.  Some dated each other, off and on.  Eddie's shyness would pulse at any such opportunity.  Gabe had once told him that Mina was interested in him and then Gabe set up a double date.  It was Gabe, Connie, Mina and him.  He sat beside Mina in a darkened theatre, and they went for a walk alone afterwards.  But his timidity won out and nothing happened. 

The café was bursting with teenage voices in a crescendo of laughter, dramatic gestures and whispers of gossip.  The chatter included what teachers they liked, the ones they didn't and the ones they made fun of.  A few others came in and joined them.  Mickey, Lisa and Cindy were not part of their regular clique of friends, but jumped into the conversations.  They talked about their plans for the summer.  Many had plans to be out of their small town of Ranvon for most of the summer.  Others, like Eddie, were hoping to get a summer job.

So Dr. Big Bones, what are you up to this summer?

Connie's question to Gabe signaled to everyone that they were no longer a couple and it was the catalyst for everyone sharing their nicknames.  For several it was just a shortened version of the full name.  Mickey was Mick, Connie Con, Kathy Kath.  Cindy kept the momentum of the discussion going as she shared her nickname at home as Loq.

Ty, why do some call you Oz?

When we first moved here, someone called me Aussie because of my accent and it got shorten to Oz and then just stuck.  But what the hell does Lock stand for?

It's L-O-Q, not like something you lock.  My mom says I'm loquacious and my sister shortened that to Loq.

There was a pause in the group until Mina finally asked the question.

What does loquacious mean?

Talkative.