Spirit Within Club 2: Spirit Within Club, #2

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my husband, my friend for the last 12 years, my boyfriend for the last nine, and my partner forever.  Chocolate might help us through the toughest days, but he’s the one that makes my life so sweet.

Preface

I’M QUITE LUCKY THAT I was always told that I could contribute to making the world a better place.  My first clear recollection was from when I was only eight years old.  Being told that I have this much power has moulded me into the person that I am today: always trying to make my little corner of the world better, one little step at a time.

The story of Arwen and his friends is my story; it is the story of my friends; it is the story of the young people who were part of a junior youth group that I had the privilege of serving as animator; and it is even the story of my toddler who already tries to do an act of service every week.

However old you are, dear reader, you have so much more power than you realise.  I do hope you will join me in my search for ways to make the world better, one small step at a time, be it on my blog (www.saharsblog.com), on Facebook (www.facebook.com/saharsabatiauthor), on Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/saharou), or on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/sahar009/).  

1 — The End of Arwen’s Summer

WHEN YOU ASK SOMEONE about their city, they will say (often very confidently) that they live in the best place in the world.  But when asked why, the reasons given are vague; it’s almost like they’re not quite sure why their city is the best.

That’s not the case when I say that Glendfort, the city where I live, is the best place in the world.  Each time I step out of my house, I’m reminded of the many reasons everyone should live here.  For one, it’s filled with awesome people: from our neighbours whom we can always ask for anything we need to the grocery store owner who always gives me something new to taste, to the librarian who always keeps any new book about soccer on hold for me.  The people in my city are also always inviting each other to hang out or do things together: barbeques, picnics, dinners, book clubs, and so on.

The city itself is also beautiful, with big streets, lots of bike lanes, even more sidewalks, and wide parks.  Winters are spent either inside the cozy library or skating on the pond in the middle of one of these parks, at someone’s place drinking hot cocoa, or sledding down the hill in the middle of another park.  Summers can be spent reading outside the library under the shade of one of many trees that surround it, at the outdoor pool, at someone’s house drinking lemonade, or at the giant soccer field.  Glendfort also has a beautiful train station that gives easy access to a much larger city only an hour’s ride away, where my family regularly goes to see shows and visit museums.

And although I still think that Glendfort is the best city in the world, this summer has kind of made me look at it differently.  Even if on the outside, it has not changed, on the inside, it’s completely new to me.  Mom says that it’s because a lot changes between the ages of 10 and 11, but I know that it has everything to do with the Spirit Within Club.

Just last summer, before we created the club, I spent most of the time at Aiko’s, Ghada’s, or Zeke’s.  Sometimes we joke that the four of us have been friends since before we were even born, since our parents are so close.  It’s actually because of Mom and Dad that Ghada, Aiko, and Zeke’s families moved to Glendfort.  And although I love the girls, Zeke always has and will always be my best friend.  We had had a lot of fun last year playing games, watching movies, going on bike rides, doing all the usual summertime things.  I had also played a lot of soccer, my favourite sport in the world.  It had been a lovely summer.

But this summer can’t even begin to compare.  Some of it was the same; Aiko, Ghada, Zeke, and I spent a lot of time together watching movies, going on bike rides, and I also played a lot of soccer.  But most of it ended up being really different.

For one, we were not just four anymore; we were seven, since Egan, Marco, and Zafirah were also our close friends now.  We had watched movies, but a couple of times, we decided to watch one of Zeke’s documentaries about things like the environment and pollution with other kids from the neighbourhood.  And we didn’t just watch documentaries; we tried acting on whatever we had learned.  We cleaned a park and set up a recycling project at the library.  We went on a lot of bike rides, but instead of randomly going around, we actually went to places and did things, like to the park to volunteer at the Glendfort Annual Town Festival, or to the library to help repair old books.  This summer was filled with everything we normally did; but the people we did them with and the reasons we did them for were very different.

Even playing soccer had felt very different, which might have been the most surprising thing about this summer.  Soccer is my biggest passion; I have been playing for as far back as I can remember.  I have always been the best player in my age division, and better than many of the older kids.  I didn’t think anything could be better than playing soccer all summer long.

My friends and I started the Spirit Within Club to take part in making the world a better place, and I knew I wanted to somehow do it through soccer.  So I asked my coach if I could help him with the younger age divisions.  The idea was to make friends with the younger kids, because it would contribute to...  Well, I don’t quite understand the full explanation I was given, but basically, if you’re friends with someone, you’re more bound to help each other, and the community becomes a better place.

I think.

But Coach Filson didn’t want me to just help with practice or do his work for him.  What he was looking for was someone to work, consult, and learn with.  He basically wanted me to be assistant coach right from the beginning!  I was sure it was because I’m a really talented soccer player.  But Coach Filson said it was because of my kindness and my ability to easily connect with others.  He also mentioned a couple of other things—which I don’t quite remember—which, if I continue to work on, would make me a very good coach someday.

The thing, though, is that I don’t want to work as a coach; it’s great fun, but there are other really cool things I would rather do.  For now, I’m thinking of becoming either a teacher or a police officer.  I recently started thinking about becoming a pathologist (a person who does medical exams on dead people to figure out how they died).  After meeting Sépideh, a nurse who worked at the hospital Zeke often has to visit, I added nursing to my list of potential careers.  However, it doesn’t mean that I cannot also be a coach; Mom and Dad suggested I keep is as my main hobby.

It’s still a little amazing to me that although I’m only eleven, I have already helped a few kids in the teams I help coach deal with school or home stuff.  The one kid I helped the most is Cole.  His parents divorced about a year ago and they seem to really hate each other.  I didn’t do much, but because I make sure to talk to him every time I saw him, he felt better.  I don’t understand why, really—I didn’t have anything much to say to him, because my parents are not divorced and neither are any of my friends’ parents.  But however I managed to do it, I’m glad I could continue helping over the summer.

Then there were the Spirit Within Club’s activities.  The club’s seven members—Aiko, Egan, Ghada, Marco, Zafirah, Zeke, and I—did a lot in the span of two months.  We cleaned parks; we raised money in support of various causes; we volunteered as baby-sitters; we helped at Egan’s Buddhist Temple, at Bahá’í Feasts, during Zafirah’s Muslim Ramadan—basically, we’ve been on a roll ever since the school year ended.  It was what I had wanted, as chairperson of the club: to not waste our first summer together.  With the help of Sépideh and Saba, two youth who have been helping us with our various service projects, I spent a lot of time on the phone, talking to people, putting things together, and making sure everyone met regularly so that the club didn’t die out, like so many others did during the summer.  Just look at Zeke’s Chess Club.  It had gone from most popular school club to, well, almost nothing!

I’m also really excited about school.  Sixth grade is going to be awesome; because we’re going to be the oldest students at Glendfort Elementary, we’ll be the coolest by default.  The younger students will be watching and listening to us, and so maybe, just maybe, the Spirit Within Club can somehow leave a mark on the school, and we will be remembered for a long time after we’re gone.  There is already the big brick wall at the back of the main building we helped paint last year, but that won’t last forever.  And I know kids also talk about us a lot for bad reasons.  Just like with every school, ours has bullies and they make fun of us all the time.  They’re still talking about our failed Christmas celebration from last year.

Arwen, hurry up! You’re going to be late!  Mom called out from the living room.

I quickly finished packing my stuff.  I was going to help Coach Filson with one of the last soccer practices of the season.  I love working with this particular team, and not just because Cole was on it.  While he was by far the best player, most of his teammates were also excellent.  Summer had been spent helping them become good, close friends, which Coach said would make playing together a joyful experience.  And since friends should be honest with each other, the team members could help improve each other’s game.  It’s something I had never thought about before.  I was not only excited to be a part of it; I was also applying these lessons to the Spirit Within Club.

I was also looking forward to this year for another reason.  You see...  Well, Zeke is my best friend.  We used to be in the same class, but since third grade, he has been moved to advanced form.  I’m not the best in science, but I decided that I wanted, for my last year at Glendfort Elementary, to be in the same class as him again.  So I had studied really hard with him all summer and begged my parents to talk Mr. Camdyn, our principal, into letting me take the tests to get into advanced form.

You realize this means you’re going to have to cut back out a lot of social and television time, right? Mom had said.

I had nodded.

And you’re fine with that? Dad had asked.

I’d nodded again.

OK, then, Dad had said, after exchanging a look with Mom.  I still haven’t figured out how they could understand each other so easily.  But under one condition: that as soon as you start feeling like it’s too much, you tell us.  Promise?

I promise.

So two weeks before school started, I had done an evaluation test—and passed!

You did it!  Zeke had said, excited.  He had come to school with me and had waited in the hallway while my tests were being scored.

I know!  I didn’t think I would!  But I did!

It’s a good thing Zeke, who is often sick, felt good that day, because we had spent quite some time jumping up and down with excitement.

IN OTHER WORDS, THIS school year was going to be amazing.  Well...  More or less.  I sometimes worry about dealing with everything once school begins, even if I stopped watching television and hanging out with friends.  Already, the added responsibility of being assistant coach requires a lot of extra time.  I get to practice earlier to help some of the kids improve their game and often stay late as well.  Advanced form was going to be a lot more work than regular form, and being the chairperson of the Spirit Within Club meant that I had more responsibilities than the other members.  I would love to talk to my parents about my worries, but I didn’t because they would probably make me drop something, and I really wanted to do it all.

Despite Mom worrying that I would be late, I got to practice with some time to spare.  As we were about to start, Saba turned up; practice session turned into a friendly game with her on one side and me on the other.  I had only found out recently how good of a player she is; since then, she had become a regular guest at practice, challenging the players since she was faster and more experienced than them.  She hadn’t been around as much in the last two weeks, and I was glad she had been able to make it one last time before the end of the summer season.

I’m very impressed with everything you’ve accomplished this summer and everything you have planned for the upcoming year, she said as we started to make our way back home.  She always parked in our driveway before walking over to the pitch, giving the two of us the opportunity to talk after practice.

I smiled, although suddenly, I felt a little sick to my stomach.

Of course, Saba noticed.  She always noticed.  What’s wrong? she asked.

I hesitated, shifting my backpack from one shoulder to the other.  I hadn’t shared this thought with anyone yet.  Sometimes it feels like if I don’t talk about something, it makes it less real, which in turn makes it easier to get through.

As it often happens, Saba somehow read my mind.  Sharing makes things easier, you know.

I didn’t think sharing would make things easier, but Saba’s advice usually does.  It’s just too much, I said.  There is too much happening in my life, and I don’t know if I can handle it.

Then why did you say yes to it all?  It might have felt like an attack, coming from someone else, but she was asking it in such a nice way that I knew she was only trying to understand.

Because...  Well, I had a lot of extra time, and I didn’t just want another summer of playing soccer, hanging out, and watching television, you know?

She slowly nodded.  Yes, I see...  Do you still have extra time?

I nodded.

She looked a little confused.  Then if you have extra time, why is it too much?

Well, I don’t know how or why, but although I still manage to have a lot of extra time, I still feel like I don’t have enough time to get all of it done, you know?

Saba had a little frown on her face, so although she didn’t say anything immediately, I knew it was because she was thinking about what I had said.  Maybe what you need then is to figure out how to manage your time.

I can’t wait to grow up and know all about that!  I said, thinking of my Mom and how calm she always seemed, even when she was really busy.

Saba made a face.  Unfortunately, I don’t think it comes that easily.

I stopped walking.  What?  I must have heard wrong.

Saba shrugged, kicked at a rock, then smiled a little crookedly at me while blushing—wait, was she embarrassed?  Time management is something I still struggle with, she said.  I always seem to underestimate how much time things will take, and end up saying yes to too much.  She then rattled off this big, long list of things she currently had to do before finally taking a deep breath and finishing off with: Classes start in two weeks, and I don’t even know if I will have time to finish it all off before then, let alone get ready for restarting university.

I just stared at her, mouth open.

Saba’s smile grew.  Are you surprised to hear that someone my age can still feel overwhelmed?

I nodded.  It’s just that you seem so organized and in control!  You never seem to worry!

Saba laughed.  I wish I was never worried!  But to tell you the truth, I always wonder how I’m going to get everything done.  I’m not getting enough sleep, which is why I got sick twice last month.

I never thought I could feel happy and upset at the same time.  I was happy that Saba was sharing something so personal with me.  When we first met her last year, I didn’t think that someone that amazing would ever be anything to me other than a teacher of sorts.  But moments like these seemed to indicate that we were becoming friends.

At the same time, I felt upset.  Not quite at Saba...  But more at the fact that I trusted her with so many of my problems, and yet here she was, with a whole bunch of problems of her own.  How could she help me, when she herself was admitting that she needed help?  By then we had reached my house, so I said goodbye to her looking happy on the outside, but feeling really troubled on the inside.

DINNERTIME AT MY HOUSE is usually quite the festive affair.  I have two younger sisters; one is seven, and the other is five.  They’re really funny: our discussions usually involve them saying cute things that make my parents and me laugh.  I sometimes feel a little worried that my parents favour my sisters because they are so cute.  Unfortunately, because I’m too embarrassed to admit this fear to anyone, I haven’t had the opportunity to deal with it.

Lately, things have been a little quieter at the dinner table.  I’m not quite sure why, but we seem to laugh less.  We actually seem to talk less.  And today of all days, it means that I am thinking even more about Saba’s confession.

I felt the urge to talk to someone about it, so I asked for permission to bike over to Zeke’s place after supper.  The cool end-of-summer wind, which had picked up during the last hour, felt good hitting my face.  I got this crazy idea that if I biked fast enough, the wind could wipe the troubling thoughts out of my head.

But after going around the block a couple of times, I slowed down and swung into Zeke’s driveway.  I felt both ridiculous and better.  Sometimes I do childish things like this.  I know that they don’t work, but for some reason they still make me feel better.  That’s something I don’t think I will ever tell anyone, not even Saba.

A couple of times that evening I almost told Zeke what was on my mind, but couldn’t bring myself to do it.  You see, Zeke is really sick.  Although he goes through periods of time, like this summer, when he’s perfectly fine, something will happen to overly tire him.  He will struggle for a period of time when he doesn’t feel too well, although he is still coming to school and all.  But most of the time, once he starts struggling, he gets really ill and has to go to the hospital.  He had not been very careful during the last two weeks, mostly because of me—between tutoring me, getting overly excited about my passing the exams, participating in all of the activities of the Spirit Within Club, and attending all his own activities, he hadn’t had enough time to rest.  He had been doing better for the last couple of days, but I could tell that he was still struggling a little bit.  So although I knew he could probably help me, I decided not to ask.

When I got home, Mom was still in the kitchen, surrounded by piles of stuff: her black leather agenda was right in front of her, with bills were neatly stacked on one side, and the notebook she used to keep track of expenses was open on the other side.  A small pile of articles she had to read for work was also on the table, beside a small pile of recipes she was going through to choose what she would make for the three dinners we were hosting that week.  She was wearing her exercise clothes, which meant she was going to go downstairs to exercise soon.

How does she manage to get through all of her responsibilities while looking so happy and relaxed?  As soon as the question ran through my head, I realized that I had the perfect person to talk to about what was on my mind right here, in my own house!  And maybe instead of she and Dad pushing me to drop something, I could convince her to help me manage my time better.

Arwen my love, she said, with a smile on her face.  She put her pen down, stood up and walked over to me, as if she had all the time in the world.  Did you enjoy your time at Zeke’s place?  She enveloped me in a huge hug.

Usually I get a little uncomfortable when she hugs me and quickly step away, but this time, I held on tight for longer than usual.  I guess it kind of gave away my state of mind.  She looked down at me—not as much as she had to just last year, but still a little bit.  What’s on your mind, honey? Is Zeke OK?

I nodded.  Mom...  How do you do it?

She looked a little surprised at the question.  What do you mean?

I gestured at the kitchen table.  Look at all you have to do.  There is so much!  But you make it seem like it’s nothing.  You’re relaxed and smiling, and even have time to stop working to hug me and talk to me.  I have only a couple of things to do, but I feel like I’m drowning already—how am I going to become a responsible adult and change the world if I can’t even handle this small kid’s stuff?

I had to learn how to do it, she said, one responsibility at a time.  You should have seen me when your Dad and I first got married.

Was it bad?

She started laughing.  It was more than bad—it was the most stressful period of my life!  I hadn’t realised that the organizational skills making my life as a single woman so efficient would not be enough to make my married life efficient.  I was convinced that it would only be a matter of sharing responsibilities with your Dad, and that would be that.

It wasn’t?

She shook her head.  Marriage isn’t just two people moving in together.  It’s like learning to run a three-legged race.  However good a runner you are on your own, you have to learn to pace yourself with the person you marry.  You, of course, are a few years away from finding someone to get married.  I made a face at that.  Mom laughed again.  You won’t be making that face then!

I’m not going to get married for a long time, I said.  So why is it hard for me now?

Well, marriage marked a change in my life which required a parallel change in the way I did things.  You have had three big changes during the last twelve months: you became chairperson of the Spirit Within Club, you became Coach Filson’s assistant, and now you are in advanced form.  The way you did things before is not adapted to your new reality.

I never thought about it that way, I said.

And guess what?

What?

She winked at me.  There’s more!  Over the last year, you realised that making the world a better place requires more than kind gestures and service projects.  You’ve been learning how to centre all aspects of your life on service.  You have made many changes in a very short period of time!

It took me a few minutes to gather my thoughts.  So before, I slowly said, I was doing a few small things and was organized enough to do them all.  With these new things in my life, I have to learn how to be more organized.  And because I’m learning how to centre my life on service, I will always be learning about how to be organized enough?

Absolutely! she said, beaming proudly.  It’s not just about getting things done anymore, but learning how to fulfill a lifelong responsibility.  This is a period of adjustment for you; you have to consult with people to see what they have to suggest, reflect on what paths are before you, make a decision, and act on it.

It was starting to make a bit more sense.  I guess in a way, I’m learning to do alone what you and Dad usually do with me, I said.

She nodded.

But it still doesn’t help me figure out how to keep up with everything.  I was a little surprised that the usual weight on my chest that accompanied this concern was not as heavy anymore.

How about I tell you a little about the way I organize myself?  Then you can decide which of my tricks you want to give a try.  I have no doubt that after some testing and adjustments, you are going to become efficient to the point of laughing at this conversation!

I smiled.  You think so?

I know so.  You have the most important thing already: volition.  I’m proud of you!  And I’m going to help you get started right now, she said, moving back to the kitchen table.  As a way to support you in this new endeavor, I’m going to buy you a planner, or maybe an agenda if you prefer.  Let’s pick one and order it right now!

All of a sudden, the rest of the weight on my chest was gone.  Feeling like this was normal; if Saba was still having trouble being organized and if Mom struggled before becoming super organized, there was a good chance that I, too, could become super organised after going through a