FALL

Table of Contents

Bend & Break

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Fall

Copyright © 2017 Eden Butler

All rights reserved as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior permission of the Author. For information regarding subsidiary rights, please contact the Author Publisher.

Edited by Kay Springsteen

Cover Design by Anna Crosswell, Cover Couture

Format by Tee Tate

Copy Edit by Judy Lovely

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

The author acknowledges the copyrighted or trademarked status and trademark owners of the any and all word-marks and references mentioned in this work of fiction.

ALSO BY EDEN BUTLER

THE SERENITY SERIES

Chasing Serenity

Behind the Pitch

Finding Serenity

Claiming Serenity

Catching Serenity

THE THIN LOVE SERIES

Thin Love

My Beloved

Thick Love

Thick & Thin

GOD OF ROCK SERIES

Kneel

Beg

SAINTS AND SINNERS SERIES

Roughing the Kicker

THE PROTOCOL SERIAL

Against Protocol

Broken Protocol

Final Protocol

STANDALONES

I’ve Seen You Naked and Didn’t Laugh

Crimson Cove

Platform Four

Fall

COLLABORATIONS

Nailed Down, Nailed Down Book One, with Chelle Bliss

Tied Down, Nailed Down Book Two, with Chelle Bliss

Find out more about Eden’s books on her site www.edenbutler.com

T a b l e   o f   C o n t e n t s

Bend & Break

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Because some memories are still sweet.

"The future for me is already a thing of the past—

You were my first love and you will be my last"

― Bob Dylan

Bend & Break

LIGHTNING FILLED MY stomach. It rent apart my insides, reminded me of what I’d had to ingest. There were bits of home—things that both warmed and filled me, but also hurt to remember. Like the grains of sand that moved between my toes and stuck to the tops of my feet. Or the waves slicking the surface of my skin, coating my ankles like paint I’d never get dry from my feet. There were slices of fruit and berries, the fragrant, rich taste of raw pineapple on my tongue, reminding me of the island and the life, the family that made me laugh. The memories all congregated, collided with the hours of lectures, the years of filing and fussing and freeing myself from the island girl I was, to the student I became, to the associate trying harder, working longer to prove herself. But it also freed me from the laughter that never went silent in the ocean’s current.

There was also warmth in the pit of my stomach; the memories I didn’t mind reliving. Like the sensation of my mother’s touch, the warm, sweet scent of her perfume and the faint kiss she left on my forehead every night. There was my brother too, and the baby he and Ellen brought home, that pink bundle with no worry yet—a beautiful girl with eyes bright and gray like my mother’s and the same wide nose my brother swore wasn’t all that big.

And another piece, this one nearly as precious—a laugh I heard when he didn’t know I listened. It was like a song, something sweet, something I wanted to hear always and those thick, full lips I’d always wanted to taste.

That storm coalesced, went deep inside me. It lived there—the island, my heart, and the rush of memory and regret I’d left behind me years ago.

There it stayed, like a hum, whispering low; my quiet song reminding me I could go home.

Reminding me it had not all disappeared.

Not just yet. 

Chapter One

Thanksgiving 2002

THERE WERE RAINBOWS on the wind. It was what Lily Campbell’s mother always called the night sky in Kaimuki when the sunset drew waves of light in all hues across the ocean. A riot of rainbows, she’d say. Too many colors to count. It struck Lily, just then, despite the noise of the crowd and the lingering humidity which made her skin damp and her brown hair frizz, that no matter how long she lived on the mainland, the sunset at home and the ocean breeze that cooled her skin as it moved, would always hold a riot of rainbows.

She’d missed her mom since the cancer had taken her. Lily had only been sixteen then, a sophomore in high school, but her memory, the sweet things her mom spoke about their island had frozen in her mind. Lily determined nothing of her mother would leave her thoughts. Looking over that sunset and all those colors, Lily realized she’d missed the island almost as much as she missed her mom.

What about him? Kiki’s voice was high, loud, and pulled Lily from her thoughts, right into the hustle of the crowd as Kiki shouted over it. She moved on her tiptoes and bounced when she spoke, something that reminded Lily of some sort of dwarf dance right out of a Lord of the Rings film. Kiki’s voice boomed, contrasting her short legs and squat frame.

The bar was too crowded, the band’s speakers keyed up with too much reverb, but Kiki still tried, insisted for the third time in two hours that Lily keep their undergrad bet going. Kiki had never lost and claimed that Lily’s inability to embarrass herself bordered on the pathetic.

No. Not him, Lily told her dorm mate, hoping that the slow shake of her head and the bustle of particularly easy marks in the crowd would distract Kiki.

Why not? No such luck. 

Lily pulled a long swig on her lukewarm beer, wishing the group of mainlanders would clear away from the bar. She wanted a fresh bottle but not bad enough that she’d fight a bunch of eighteen-year-olds who looked for all the world like they’d just broken from their leashes.

Kiki’s elbow slipped easily into Lily’s side, but she was able to keep from flinching. Kaimuki was her hometown. There were eyes on her, desperate gossips waiting to see what New Haven had done to her. All of them, Lily guessed, wanted to know if she’d forgotten where she’d come from. She stretched one long leg, leaning against the bar, and Lily moved a shoulder, a slow, small gesture that told Kiki to be patient.

Invalid. I wouldn’t stand a chance, she finally answered, holding the bottle a little in front of her mouth, guarding her words in case any of those gossips had super-sensitive hearing. These local boys know me. They’d never believe the shit I’d have to say to win.

You’ve been away for four years. The mainland is a long way away. Kiki came close, preventing herself from the exhausting need to yell. Her referring to Connecticut as the mainland seemed odd, out of place with Kiki’s Tennessee accent. Maybe Yale has changed you.

"No amount of courses in Modern Apocalyptic Narratives and The History of Political Theory would change me that much."

You sure?

The boy in question nodded at Lily, throwing out a howzit, Lils? before he charged in the center of those eighteen-year-olds still angling for drinks from the flustered bartender.

Told you.

Liam, her brother, had made the day before an epic return. Barbeque, music, and too much liquor. He’d welcomed Lily and Kiki to the island with as much fanfare as he could muster and nearly half the boys in the bar tonight had made an appearance. It had felt as though he wanted to remind her that his house—the house that had been her home since their mother’s death— was still waiting for her.

Lily moved around, catching the eye of a Kai, the bartender. She’d done grade school and pee-wee volleyball with him. Now he manned Tiki Tommy’s bar. The place was small, not like those Honolulu tourist traps. Lily had outgrown it by the time she was eighteen, but the beer was cold and cheap and Tommy’s was right on the beach, the windows opened, the patio expansive enough that the ocean breeze flew around the crowd. It offered a small reprieve to the humid air and the crowded club. Lily could almost taste the salt water on her tongue between quick sips she took from the now half-empty bottle.

Besides, it was comfortable and the only real place in Kaimuki her and her friends could drink for free. Like most people in their small town, when Lily was home, she went to Tommy’s.

Kai smiled at Lily, flashing his perfect white teeth and deep-set dimples, moving up his eyebrows as if to ask a silent question.

Lily tilted her warm beer at him, then threw up two fingers.

Kiki sighed, looking a little annoyed—the small tilt of her head as she scanned the crowd and the slight dip of her mouth told Lily she was getting bored. She’d spent her entire undergrad career at Yale with her dorm mate. Lily knew when Kiki’s mind wandered because she’d gone too long without stirring up drama.

You keep looking, though, she told Kiki, putting her cash into her back pocket when Kai scooted two cold bottles of Blue Moon toward her then waved off her money. He hazarded a long look at Kiki, which she completely missed, and Lily smiled behind her bottle. Kai was beautiful—dark skin, big brown eyes, and a trim frame. He wasn’t big, but he was cut, and that was exactly the kind of guy that always caught Kiki’s attention. Usually.

Lily took another sip of her beer. Moisture was dripping on the orange slices and small flecks of ice floated inside the bottle. I’m not going to back out.

The tiny dip pulling down the corners of Kiki’s mouth deepened, and two faint lines creased against her lips in a show of obvious disbelief. You said that last week when we drove into New York. She took the Blue Moon when Lily handed it to her, not missing a beat between drinking and bitching. Didn’t stop you from chickening out of the bet at The Rum House. That guy was a big dumb football player. You could have won that fifty easy.

He smelled like a frat house.

Then you called him a little man boy overcompensating for obvious short comings.

He got handsy. Lily shrugged, nostrils flaring as she recalled the guy. Maybe the insult had been a little over the top. Lily had always been too quick with her insults, too little with her thoughts. Her loose, thoughtless words had gotten her into trouble more than once. But the little man boy been sloppy drunk and not nearly as cute up close as he had been twenty feet across the bar. Besides, you know I’m not into jocks.

Who cares? Kiki nabbed a barstool when one of the eighteen-year-old haoles shot out of the seat and onto the dance floor. Her friend wiggled on the stool, straightening her back as though to add height so she could be level with Lily. It’s just a game. And you promised...

Fine, Lily said, hiding her low exhale behind the rim of her Blue Moon. Let me finish off this bottle, and I’ll...I’ll let you pick the victim. I just need a little liquid courage.

I’m off the island in two weeks anyway. She closed her eyes as she poured the cold beer down her throat. Who cares what an ass I make of myself with a little shock-flirting?

No backing out? Kiki’s voice was higher-pitched now, showing her excitement as she turned toward Lily. It was a little sad, actually, but Lily guessed she owed it to her friend. Lily had been the one to polish off three containers of hummus and two pints of Rocky Road ice cream inside of a week when she’d first arrived in New Haven. She’d been homesick for the island, for her niece Zinnia, and all the funny eleven-year-old things she liked to do. Kiki had never complained.

Liam was sixteen years older than Lily. He’d been the only father she’d known since hers had never been part of their lives. And when he married a pretty redhead from Georgia named Ellen, and they’d had Zinnia, Lily had been fascinated, utterly in love with the little girl. Enough that she didn’t mind how goofy her brother was. Zinnia even made the pain of losing her mom sting a little less. Lily and Zinnia were more like sisters and it was her and, yeah, okay, even goofy Liam whom she’d missed most when she got to New Haven to start at Yale.

You’ve worked so hard, Lil, Liam had said four years ago, trying his best to convince her that leaving Kaimuki was something their mother would have wanted for her. And remember, it’s not forever. Liam had carried her bag all the way to the terminal, looking up at the lights, to the TSA agents, anywhere but at Lily’s face. Besides, I’ve got big plans for your room. Her brother had rubbed his stomach, smirking at her in the way that always reminded Lily just how full of shit he was. Gonna turn it into a gym. Work on my abs. He emphasized his point by pushing out the small paunch around his middle.

Lily hadn’t believed him. She hadn’t believed the forced smile Liam had given her as she walked away from her gate. She knew her brother. He’d missed her, and he’d said so reluctantly the day before when he picked her up from the airport with Kiki at her side.

Has it been four years already? Liam had asked, pulling her toward him in a one arm hug as he led them through the airport. Damn. I was just getting my gym the way I wanted it.

Yeah, Lily had answered, poking at the thickening waistline. I can tell.

Her smile lowered at the thought. Last night, Liam had asked the question Lily wasn’t sure how to answer. You going to have a break before you get a job? You’ve only been back to the island four times since you started up in New Haven, and you deserve a break. He took a sip of his beer, rolling the bottle between his fingers as though he thought of something he kept to himself and then he nodded, polishing off the beer before he continued. That tech company, the one Little Bobbie works at? Anyway, Bobbie says they’re hiring college grads and U of H has a really good graduate programs if you want to do your Masters. Besides, I know Zee and Ellen would love to have you back full time.

Just them? she’d asked, cocking an eyebrow at the omission of himself in that question.

What? I told you. Your room is mine now.

He’d laughed, tickled her side in a tease, but Lily hadn’t missed the smile Liam wore the rest of the night. They wanted her home. She wanted to be home, but Stanford had one of the best law programs in the country. Stanford would help Lily land the corporate law gig she’d always wanted. But that meant another three years away from the family, from her island.

So? Kiki asked, leaning closer and drawing Lily out of her thoughts.

The particularly fast song ended, and the crowd grew louder—a roar of hums that went timid, a little too intimate for such a large crowd when the tempo shifted and a slow song had couples pushing together like they’d been doused in glue. My choice and you won’t back out?

Lily pulled on her bottle, trying to clear Kiki’s nagging voice from her ear. If she went on ignoring her dorm mate, Kiki would have a fit and then the drama would level up. It always did when Kiki didn’t get her way.

Sure, Lily answered, not wanting to disrupt the easy, relaxed vibe that had fallen upon her since they’d landed back on the island. There would be plenty of worry and stress when they returned to New Haven. It was what pre-law undergrads did—worry. She didn’t need a preview of that if Kiki didn’t get her way. Fine, she said again, polishing off the Blue Moon before she set it on the bar behind her. Do your worst.

It was one of those things she’d said just to say. Something to keep her friend happy. Something said that she’d regretted the second the words left her mouth. Kiki Devon always did her worst. She did the things, said the things that no one would, as though it was a mission from God she took to heart. But leaning against that bar that night, with Kiki’s attention on the crowd, gaze shifting over the swaying, dancing bodies, to the outskirts of the dance floor, on the line of onlookers watching the room, Lily thought her friend’s mission would only lead to trouble.

It did.

About five minutes, fourteen seconds after Lily had laid down the do your worst challenge.

Holy shit. That one. He’s perfect.

The stars aligned. Or, more apt, Lily thought, maybe God was just in a