Why Customers Leave (and How to Win Them Back): (24 Reasons People are Leaving You for Competitors, and How to Win Them Back*)

"Why Customers Leave will become the new first reading for all members of my team, mandatory next reading for those already with us, and our top recommendation to all of our clients."

–Brian Smith, PhD, senior partner,

IA Business Advisors

David Avrin says, ‘You are not going to like everything I have to say in this book.’ Avrin's right. But you're not looking for happy hoohah. You're looking for actionable insights that will improve your business. Read his book. You'll thank me later.

–Bruce Turkel, author of All About Them

"David Avrin makes a powerful case for Customer Experience as the only sustainable competitive advantage. In his engaging and provocative new book, Why Customers Leave, Avrin reveals a wide range of company behaviors that alienate customers, frustrate prospects, and drive both into the arms of your competition. Learn what you must do, and what you must avoid. Buy this book to see yourself as your customers see you."

–Ron Kaufman, New York Times bestselling author of Uplifting Service

This edition first published in 2019 by Career Press, an imprint of

Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

With offices at:

65 Parker Street, Suite 7

Newburyport, MA 01950

www.redwheelweiser.com

Copyright © 2019 by David Avrin

Foreword copyright © 2019 by Larry Winget

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced

or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical,

including photocopying, recording, or by any information

storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing

from Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. Reviewers may quote brief passages.

ISBN: 978-1-63265-151-8

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

available upon request.

Cover design by Kathryn Sky-Peck

Interior by Lauren Manoy

Typeset in Minion Pro and Cabin

Printed in Canada

MAR

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

www.redwheelweiser.com/newsletter

DEDICATION

To Tiffany Lauer, my brilliant assistant and business manager,

who delivers the consummate customer

experience for our clients every day.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Preface: Don't Skip This

Introduction: Blink and They're Gone

1 Stop Telling Us No

2 Don't Fake It Until You Make It

3 Automation Kills Loyalty

4 Don't Close-Ever

5 Don't Be Hard to Reach

6 Don't Pee on My Leg and Tell Me It's Raining

7 We Don't Want to Do Business Your Way

8 Don't Punish Everyone for the Actions of a Few

9 Fix Your Dysfunctional Website

10 You Get One Chance, So Don't Blow It

11 It's Not What You Want to Say, It's What We Want to Hear

12 My Call Is Not Very Important to You

13 Don't Treat Me Like You Want to Be Treated

14 Don't Pass the Buck (and Don't Throw Coworkers Under the Bus)

15 Stop Making Us Do Your Work

16 Your Stalking Is Creeping Us Out

17 Avoid the Sin of Omission

18 Your Management Fails to Manage

19 Show Us That You Care About Your Business

20 Stop Wasting Our Time

21 Stop Being Cheap

22 Don't Take Us for Granted

23 Being Good Is No Longer Good Enough

Afterword: Be a Great Customer

Notes

Index

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

When Allison Janney won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for her role in the movie I, Tonya, she famously walked to the microphone to give her acceptance speech, looked at the audience, and said: I did it all by myself. And then she smiled and said: Nothing further from the truth. So it is with writing a book.

The thanks don't merely go to those who surround the process of writing, or the patience from those who surround the writer himself (in this case), but to those encountered during all the years when the knowledge was gained, the opinions were formed, and the wisdom was honed.

I'd like to thank all those who provided both stellar and horrific business experiences throughout my life. It is your diligence or ineptitude, your attentiveness or indifference, that formed the basis for the stories and lessons shared in this book.

To the influential people in my life:

A big thanks to my brilliant literary agent, Jill Marsal of the Marsal Lyon Literary Agency. I so appreciate your grounding wisdom when I have my head in the clouds (or up my ass). Thanks for your effective advocacy and sage counsel.

Thank you to Michael Pye from Career Press for taking a chance on yet another book and for believing in this project and putting your resources behind it. I will make you proud.

To my amazing, hardworking, diligent, and very loyal assistant and business manager, Tiffany Lauer: approaching seven years working together, I would not be where I am without your feedback, wisdom, support, prodding, and partnership in this business. You are family.

To the group chairs and members of Vistage International, the world's leading chief executive organization. It is due in large part to the more than 4,000 one-on-one conversations I have had with company leaders over the past decade that I am better equipped to teach, share, cajole, and mentor. I feel that I have learned as much as I have taught.

To those who have given me feedback on this book: My awesome brother, Doug Avrin, you are wise, honest, and the most loving man I know. If any one of you has ever received a t-shirt or coffee mug that says World's Greatest Dad, just know that it doesn't belong to you. You are only borrowing it from my brother Doug. Give it back to him when you are done.

To the brilliant and generous John DiJulius of the DiJulius Group: Many will speak or write on customer experience, but John lives it, teaches it, models it, and bleeds it through his pores. You are the real deal, brother.

To the six-time New York Times bestselling author, media celebrity, teller-of-truths, Hall of Fame Speaker, and all-around real man, Larry Winget: I am humbled by your kindness and validating words, your phenomenal foreword to this book, and for modeling what authenticity and integrity are on stage, in business, and in life. Larry is among the most captivating, relevant, and actionable speakers in the world. Look him up!

To my tribe at the National Speakers Association: Few people understand better than you do, the adrenaline rush of a thousand audience members on their feet and the ego boost of a book signing, only to be followed by a lonely chicken dinner and Uber ride to the airport. You are my family and my brothers- and sisters-in-arms. See you on the road.

To my precious children, who are no longer children, Sierra, Sydney, and Spencer: my role as speaker, consultant, coach, and author pale in comparison to my most important role as your dad. It has been my greatest joy to watch you grow into powerful, generous, and loving people. You inspire me every day. I was going to say that you have no idea how proud I am of all of you, but actually, you do know.

To my new kids, Hunter and Will, who are not kids either: I am excited and proud to be in your life (and crazy in love with your mom)!

And to my angel, Laurel: Your love, support, patience, humor, wisdom, and constant encouragement astonishes me every day. Knowing that you will be by my side for all my days gives me fuel to take on anything. I adore you.

Finally, to the thousands of supporters who have been in my audience, received my newsletter, connected with me on social media, commented on my Facebook posts, retweeted my irreverence to the masses, and supported me through the years—a very big thank you! Your support means the world to me and my family.

FOREWORD

I've said for years that being in business would be great if it weren't for employees and customers. Think about it: Employees and customers are the source of nearly every problem you have. Employees have a tendency to forget they are there to make the business profitable by serving customers well and making them happy, which is what keeps them coming back. After all, happy customers who share their money with you is what keeps those employees paid, and they should realize that. But when that most basic aspect of a business relationship breaks down, that's a problem—a big, costly problem.

And customers . . . wow! They want and expect so much these days. But why shouldn't they? They have so many options. There's you, there's the guy down the street, and the thousands of other businesses that are just a click or two away. The obvious truth is that you aren't the only game in town. You are just one more on a long list of businesses where they can get what you have to offer possibly quicker, probably cheaper, and maybe from someone who values their business more and demonstrates it in a variety of ways.

As for the Internet, I would much rather buy with a click and have it in on my doorstep in a couple of days and never have to talk to an unknowledgeable, surly employee who is more interested looking at Instagram than they are in me, my needs, desires, problems, and money. Wouldn't you?

Those are the issues almost every business deals with almost every day in some way. Your employees and your customers hold the success of your company in their hands. But you know that. How could you not?

So why is that you know it and are still dealing with all of the problems (and maybe even more) that I just described? It's not for lack of knowledge as there is plenty of that around. It's usually for lack of implementation. I have been doling out business, personal, financial, and parenting advice for a lot of years.

After having given thousands of speeches and selling millions of books, I have discovered people don't do much of anything with the knowledge they have at their fingertips. There are lots of reasons for that, but I think one of the big ones is that most of the information is so abstract it ends up being confusing. Or it is just the opposite and is so specific that people can't understand how to apply it to their particular situation.

Good news: This book isn't like that. It is logical, practical, easily implementable, and well, it just makes sense! I like that. I read it and found myself nodding my head up and down saying, Yep, I get it. He's right. I need to take action on that right now. You will be the same way.

So when you find your customers leaving and aren't sure exactly what to do to stop the drain or to get them back, what do you do? Do you fire everyone who doesn't treat the customer right and start over? That's a possibility for sure, but not a very smart one. Do you trash your competition in order to build yourself up in the eyes of the customer? That's a short game you will never ultimately win. Do you out-advertise them? Someone else can always spend more money.

Most people when faced with a problem, any problem, start looking at how to solve their problem. Of course, right? That's exactly what they should do! Well, not necessarily. Figuring out what to do and how to do it is indeed important, but probably not the first step. That's what I like about this book. David Avrin will give you the how and what, but he starts with why. I like that. A lot.

Too many folks jump right into how and what and get really busy with fixing the problem, only to find out after much effort, time, and possibly expense that the problem isn't fixed at all. That can be a frustrating, even maddening, experience. But it's because they never figured out why they have the problem. David wants you to think about why you do what you do and realize why your customers react and respond the way they do. In other words, Why am I in this mess? That sounds simple, and although it is, it's really powerful. It's powerful because it will make you think. Thinking is always hard, and thinking about how dumb we sometimes are is even harder.

Here is another reason I like this book: David gives you a better approach to doing business so your customer will never leave you. He doesn't say this is the only approach or the best approach (even though it probably is the best approach). He just shows you what you are probably doing wrong and then suggests a better approach. I like the lack of arrogance in this. I am tired of authors and speakers saying this is the way to do things. I have discovered there are as many ways to be successful as there are successful people. I know better than to believe there is only one way. David does too. These better approaches are a gift to you. In fact, they are a huge gift that when used, can save your business.

Here's my favorite thing about the book: It is grounded to core values. If you know anything about who I am and what I do for a living, you know how important that is to me. Honesty, integrity, kindness, gratitude, courtesy, and work ethic are values that we all see collapsing around us. David grounds this work in those values. That makes me proud to put my name on it and proud he asked me to write this foreword.

So, here's what I suggest: Open your mind, be coachable to better ideas, ask yourself the questions he asks of you, be honest with yourself with the answers, then buy every single member of your team this book and use it for discussion and training. Doing those things stacks the deck in your favor better than you will ever imagine.

Now, turn the page and start taking your business to the next level.

—Larry Winget

Six-time New York Times and Wall Street Journal

bestselling author, Hall of Fame Speaker,

social commentator, and TV personality

PREFACE: DON'T SKIP THIS

Okay, lets get this out of the way: You are not going to like everything I have to say in this book, but it's important that you listen. To be honest, I don't like everything I say in this book, but I believe every word of it. I do promise that you will recognize the problems and behaviors that I detail in the pages to follow, and most will resonate. Some will make you nod your head in agreement, and others will make you throw up you hands in disgust. Others will even make you smile a bit. As a consumer, you've been there. Hell, you are there! As a business owner or leader, you may need a wake-up call. This book is that wake-up call.

In this book, I'm going to tell you what you need to hear because it will save you money and it will even make you money. It may even help you become a better person. Right now, in some ways, your behavior—some behavior—is costing you money and relationships. Your cost-cutting is costing you customers, and your policies, designed to make life easier and more efficient for your employees, are driving clients and customers away.

Here is the uncomfortable truth: As good as you are, most prospective customers don't choose you. They choose someone else. Unless you have more than a 50 percent market share (rare), most of your prospects choose to do business with your competitors