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    Dating on a Purpose: An Illustrated Guide to Intentional Dating for Commitment-Conscious Millennials
    Dating on a Purpose: An Illustrated Guide to Intentional Dating for Commitment-Conscious Millennials
    Dating on a Purpose: An Illustrated Guide to Intentional Dating for Commitment-Conscious Millennials
    Ebook204 pages2 hours

    Dating on a Purpose: An Illustrated Guide to Intentional Dating for Commitment-Conscious Millennials

    By Tia Truthteller

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    About this ebook

    Ladies, don’t give up on dating-the healthy, loving union of your dreams is within your grasp! Whip out your highlighters and take notes. Tia Truthteller, a wife of 23 years is breaking down the exact steps to use to move your relationship forward-without looking desperate!

    Do you feel like you’ve just been dating in circles and want more? Tired of go-nowhere situationships?

    This amazing illustrated dating book shows you how an intentional approach can lead to a meaningful relationship with a quality man. This is the book to read when you're ready for the real deal- boyfriend, fiancé or husband.

    Tia Truthteller is offering this candid, illustrated collection of tips to empower single, marriage-minded young women!

    Tia's mission is to arm YOU with actionable steps towards creating a healthy and productive dating life without sacrificing the thrill.

    Devour page after page of eloquent insight acquired primarily through Tia’s own journey of dating, finding love, and tying the knot.

    Optimize your time, and your options through Tia’s clever approach, laid out in this charming illustrated handbook.

    Dating on Purpose is smart, modern, and relatable!

    ● Not sure if you should work it out or walk away?
    - Get intentional about your love life!

    ● What are we?
    - Ditch the dreaded “gray area" of relationships!

    ● What does he mean when he says...
    -Break down the infamous language barrier between the genders!

    Does any of this sound familiar? We’re only scratching the surface. Dating On Purpose addresses these common conundrums and many more.

    Get Your Guide!
    ● It's direct
    ● It's enlightening
    ● it's informative
    ● It’s intentional

    “Dating On Purpose” is a cool, comfortable read.
    Tia’s method is sharp; wisdom served fresh, complete with fun visuals.

    Tia delivers witty rhetoric balanced by a heaping dose of tough love as she imparts timeless wisdom to this generation’s singles.

    Read true stories shared by real couples, as well as many of Tia’s own transparent accounts of lessons learned.

    Get On Board !
    Pick up your essential copy of "Dating On Purpose" when you’re ready to get your love train back on track, and headed towards a BLISSFUL destination!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTia Truthteller
    Release dateJan 2, 2019
    ISBN9780463707302
    Author

    Tia Truthteller

    Blogger Tia Truthteller is a wife and mom who is committed to supporting modern young women trying to keep it classy in their quest for meaningful relationships. Her mission is to share her personal relationship "truths" so you can date to get the committed relationship you crave. Her biggest a-ha moment came when she discovered that sometimes you've got to remove yourself as an option for a man to realize that he wants you. This, combined with her informal schooling in male psychology (a.k.a. her 23 year marriage) has convinced her that understanding men isn't playing games, it's just playing smart!

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      Book preview

      Dating on a Purpose - Tia Truthteller

      Dating on Purpose

      An Illustrated Guide to Intentional Dating for Commitment-Conscious Millennials

      Written by Tia Truthteller

      www.TiaTruthteller.com

      Copyright © 2019 Tia Truthteller

      This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be resold or given away to other people. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Illustrations by Clara Spinassi

      Publishing services provided by

      Archangel Ink

      Dedication

      To my husband, my resident guinea pig in my observations on men. Once you realized I wasn’t out to bash men, you provided valuable insights, and then fully supported me in my effort to get this down on paper. The lessons I’ve learned about men close-up over the 23 years of our married life are incredible and share-worthy. My personal revelation that men and women have fundamentally differently ways of thinking about the same issues and the resulting sense of peace, empowerment, and relationship leverage that I experienced is the foundation of this book.

      Book Extra— How to Move Your Relationship to the Next Level

      (click here to download)

      Contents

      Introduction – The Growing Need for Intentional (Purposeful) Dating

      Chapter 1 – The Basics of Intentional Dating

      Chapter 2 – For Best Results, Woman Up First!

      Chapter 3 – Man 101

      Chapter 4 – Breaking Down the Men’s Commitment Formula

      Chapter 5 – Prime your Relationships for Success from the Start –The First 90 Days

      Chapter 6 – How to Open Yourself to Love while Taking Care of Your Heart

      Chapter 7 – Give Him a Reason to Upshift (The Last Factor in the Commitment Formula)

      Chapter 8 – Date Like a Boss: How to Show up High Value and Remain Powerful while Dating

      Chapter 9 – How to Tell if Your Relationship is Going Anywhere

      Chapter 10 – Think You’re Ready for the Ultimate Upshift? Read This First!

      Chapter 11 – How to Communicate Effectively with Men

      Chapter 12 – Next Steps: The Action Plan for Every Situation

      How to Get Closure

      Conclusion

      Book Extra—Infographic Cheat Sheet on How to Give a Man a Reason to Upshift

      Before You Go…

      About the Author

      Introduction – The Growing Need for Intentional (Purposeful) Dating

      Courtship today is on life support. Marriage? Code red. I don’t like it, and I bet you don’t either.

      Just a generation ago, taking your relationship to the next level meant getting engaged. Now the next level is just being an official girlfriend with the title. Dating apps and websites have widened the perception of the dating pool so much that if one doesn’t feel a connection quickly, it’s on to the next one. Daters ghost out of each other’s lives in search of excitement, variety, and something better.

      I call it fast-food dating, and the gap between it and the deeper slow-food relationships women crave has never been wider.

      Young women wanting meaningful relationships are trying hard to stay positive while they wonder: Don’t men want the same things I do? Will I ever find that worthy partner I can come home to? Is the answer really egg freezing? And why the heck should achieving a stable, long-term relationship feel like trapping a wild animal?

      I believe they have a better chance if they date with a mindset that attracts and filters for marriage material: Intentional Dating. In a nutshell, it means making the effort to meet new men and showing up as high value. Here’s the hard part: you must ruthlessly filter out the guys who show you they’re not sufficiently into you or don’t want a committed relationship—instead of trying to change their minds. Too many women are out there doing the most and giving their all, hoping a ring will come from these efforts. Ridiculous. Time wasting. Baggage building.

      If you knew you wanted to be a lawyer, wouldn’t you prepare to get into law school? If you wanted to buy a house, wouldn’t you start assessing neighborhoods and saving up for a down payment? There are concrete steps you can take to move yourself closer to any goal so why would getting married be any different?

      If you’re marriage-minded, resist the temptation to just sit back, focus on your career, and think this will sort itself out if it’s meant to be. A cultural change is occurring around us, and I don’t think simply waiting will help things fall into place. Once you know you want to be married, you’re much more likely to find the right person when you date intentionally, and do so regardless of where your career is and what your age is. You’ll be much more likely to have actual I-can-call him-my boyfriend relationships. Besides, if you follow my advice and resist the urge to build your life around your boyfriends—what I call cornerstoning—you’ll see it’s not an either/or choice. You’ll have some relationships that will work and some that won’t. Whatever happens, it will likely take time. Don’t leave all this for later. If you desire to have biological children within the framework of marriage someday, get the ball rolling now.

      Waiting doesn’t ensure you snag the best man out there—dating strategically does.

      And what’s more, juggling a career with dating is great practice for juggling a career with a husband and kids. Amirite? Dating on Purpose is for the millennial woman striving to live with class and grace who wants a thoughtfully sourced slow-food husband. I tell it like I see it, with a stronger focus on giving you honest information than being politically correct. The advice I give won’t fit every case. I speak in generalities, and you can select the tips that resonate, depending on your personality and the type of guy you’re dealing with.

      If you’re the kind of woman who gets upset when a man holds a door open for you, then you can put this book down right now. I firmly believe the fun in dating comes from expressing and enjoying our gender differences. You know, that yin-yang stuff.

      This book will teach you how to:

      - Fortify your psyche so you can let the ghosters ghost

      - Determine if a guy really likes you no matter the chemistry you feel

      - Learn the formula that makes men commit

      - Decide if you’re a Shaky or Wifey Girlfriend, and what to do next

      - Respond powerfully to wishy washy men who treat you like an option

      - Keep men from making you crazy

      - Know when you’re settling and when you’re simply being realistic

      - Learn how to prevent men from taking you for granted (why giving them everything is an investment that doesn’t pay off)

      - Identify signs he’s husband material

      - Understand, communicate, and forge an emotional connection with men using my Wifey Tips and Man 101 to give you a distinct advantage

      - Make your own closure after a breakup so you can rebound fully

      We’ll cover it all, but first, I’d like to tell you about me and why I wrote this book.

      Who is Tia Truthteller?

      I’m a wife and mom, and I love studying the dynamics of relationships. I’m not a dating coach or a celebrity—your typical relationship book author—but we all know they aren’t the only ones with great information to share and stories to tell. No, I don’t make dating rules, but I share my relationship opinions, the truths that I’ve learned along the way.

      I came of age in the West African country of Nigeria in the 90s. Back then, if you weren’t married by the time you turned 30, the chances of it happening dwindled dramatically. That was just the way it was, probably because childbearing was considered the ultimate mark of womanhood. Intentional dating was the standard, not the exception. No one told us specifically to do these things, it was sort of the generally accepted way of thinking in the society. As women, we could clearly see there was a period of our dating life (our 20s) when we were more sought after. We knew the game wasn’t over till he put a ring on it, and we knew it took more than love to keep marriages together, so we were aware of the need to date head before heart, at least in theory.

      I had an epiphany, where I learned a powerful lesson about standing up for what I want for myself, and for my future. I was in a relationship that started off promising, but turned joyless after a couple of years. I was miserable. I tried to work on it, but my guy didn’t seem willing to meet me halfway. Once I was all cried out, I reluctantly decided I had to go my own way. Nothing was changing, and I’d decided I’d prefer to feel neutral on my own rather than unhappy with him. Yes, it would mean starting over, but I sensed that with most of my life ahead of me, I needed to go for it sooner rather than later. I took stock of the resources available to me and started making plans for my new life. After being sad for so long, I perked up at the thought of a brighter future ahead. Looking back, I now understand that something profound was occurring: as I made my peace with moving forward on my own, my relationship leverage was growing. Once I became truly okay with the prospect of leaving my man for good—shared history be damned—the biggest bargaining chip possible dropped into my lap: the ability to say goodbye and really mean it (or as I like to say, Turn on a heel that doesn’t shake).

      I discovered the downshift:

      Downshift (verb, noun)

      When one pulls away from a relationship. You then discover by your partner’s actions or inactions where you stand.

      By downshifting from my relationship, I put down the burden of worrying about us and redefined my life in terms of the only person I had control over—me. My heart grew happier, and my mind eased as I made my peace with moving forward on my own. Learning to back off and truly let go once you’ve put your cards on the table is part of the essence of relationship leverage.

      As it happened, my leaving was the catalyst that made my guy sit up and do his utmost to win me back. It took him lots of time, dedication, and love to do this, but the second time around was on my terms, hence the leverage. My downshift worked in favor of our union but the great thing is, even if it hadn’t, it set me free to move on to new and surely better things without second-guessing myself. I’d learned something else:

      Tia’s Truth: Sometimes you must remove yourself as an option for a man to realize what he wants.

      I now understand the meaning of the famous phrase, If you love someone, set them free. If they don’t come back, it wasn’t meant to be. The difference was so profound and powerful that I knew I had to share it with women everywhere, especially since we are relationship seekers and fixers by nature.

      There are lots of other sources of leverage available to you that will make this process easier. If you’ve simply been going with the flow and showing guys how chill you can be, but aren’t thrilled about where that’s taken you, what’s there

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