My Life, My Faith, My Journey: Faith Still Moves Mountains

My Life, My Faith, My Journey

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Monica McGowan. I married Bernard McGowan in December of 1989. We have two adult children, Eris, who is now 23 and Evan, who will be 20 in March. I was born and raised in a small place in Georgia called Kingsland. I’m the youngest of eleven children. I grew up in a very large family with meager means. We didn’t have a lot of material things but, we had love, and that made all the difference in the world.

My father worked as a long-distance truck driver, and that eighteen-wheeler kept him on the road. He loved that truck because it enabled him to take care of the family he had waiting for him back at home. I can still see him backing it in by the garage, which was across the street from our house, after coming off the road. My siblings and I would stand on the porch until he gave the signal it was safe to cross over. We would run over and jump into his arms. One of us in his arms, one would ride his back, and one of us would ride on his leg. It was always good when daddy came home, because his presence made the family complete. He often times brought gifts home for us. He would bring toys, clothes, shoes and souvenirs from places he had visited.

My mother was a stay-at-home mom. With 11 eleven children in the home, she too worked full-time. There wasn’t time to do much for a family of this size but, go to church. We went to church and to school. Mom was and still is, a Virtuous woman. A Christian lady with great Christian values. We went to church often, and when I say often, I’m talking Monday through Friday and all day on Sunday. Most Saturdays we would just enjoy playing outside with other children in our neighborhood, unless of course, there was something going on at church.

It would be in my grown up life that I learn the true value of having a solid foundation. My father’s work ethics would teach me what to look for in a husband. It is my mother’s spiritual values that would teach me not only how to be a mother but, more importantly how to be a wife. Just like my parents have laid a foundation for me to build upon, it is now my responsibility to teach my own children. In the end the only thing that really matters is what you believe and know to be truth. Truth which is founded on the Word of God will never change.

A peek into the life of others often offers insight that enables us to make better decisions. What to do in the face of adversity and strife is a decision best made before the situation arrives. When life backs you in a corner, who are you going to put your trust in? Every choice we make in life will bring victory or consequences. He came that we might have life and life more abundantly.

Chapter 1

My first recollection as a child was this beautiful white dress. An explosion happened in our community, about ten to fifteen miles from where we lived. And this beautiful white dress would be the dress I wore to my sisters’ funeral. The explosion took place in ’71, and I had to be around 4 years old. The local chemical plant that employed a lot of the locals exploded. In that explosion was my second-oldest sister, Sandra. My father had given us all nicknames, and she was called Runt. Daddy said it was too many of us for him to remember the names mom had given us, so he gave us character names. She was small in comparison to the other children, so he called her Runt. Runt was a part of the explosion, and our family would never be the same. Daddy was on the road during the time of the explosion but, returned as soon as he heard.

My oldest brother, James (Bubba), drove out to the plant to see if she was ok; along with half of the town’s people. It was at the site of the explosion that he would ID her remains and then takes the long drive back home to tell the family. The family waiting and praying for a miracle would be informed that Runt was among those who had been killed.

The Thiokol explosion change Camden County forever. As a small child I did not feel of the sorrow of it per se, but what I do remember is that I wore this beautiful white dress. In my childish mind, I thought all the people that were coming by, came to see me in that dress. I had no idea they were coming to give my family condolences. It wasn’t until I got older that I was made to realize the sorrow that particular memory was attached to.

The community lost many lives in that explosion. There were funerals going on daily for those who lost their lives in that awful explosion. Some that survive the explosion but was so severally wounded would past away days, weeks, months, even years later. Then there would be those who would never fully recover from their injuries or the memory of seeing bodies badly burned and dismembered lying all around them. At the age of 4, I don’t recall the sadness or the horror and that would be impossible for a child but, thank God for the memory of that white dress. My sister Cheryl and I wore these beautiful white dresses, with white shoes and lacy white socks. We wore little white panties with the ruffles on the butt, and white ribbons in our hair. Being so young when the explosion happened, I was completely unaware of what really happened that day in Georgia, but I’ll share with you what I learned as I got older.

I would hear my family and others in the community talk about the Thiokol explosion and the lives that were lost. To this very day, my family talks about the explosion and the daughter/sister/mother/friend that was lost. It’s our way of keeping the memory of my sister alive. Whoever coined the phrase ‘gone but, not forgotten’ has proven to be correct.

When my sister died in that explosion she left behind a fourteen-month-old son. My mom would raise him as her own child until he was old enough to understand. In order for him to know of his mother, there had to be conversations that included her as often as possible in our home.

Rodney was raised in the house with us as a brother, and we referred to him as the twelfth child. It wasn’t until we got older that that my parents would reveal to him and to the younger children that he was her grandson. The older siblings knew but no one ever said anything until mom gave the consent. God had taken a life but, He had also replaced the loss with this grandson. In every possible way, mom still had eleven children to raise. Rodney is a nephew by law but, a baby brother by love.

The financial benefits of my sister were given to my mother in care for her son. The benefit check wasn’t much but, back in the day it made a huge difference in a house with eleven children. I remember my mother would buy diapers, clothes, soap, deodorant, and different things that were needed in the house.

My mom being a Christian would have days when she struggled with the loss of her daughter. She began to question her daughter’s death at such a young age. She mourned silently for years. In one of our conversations, she shared with me her resolved. The Lord took one of her children so the others would not have to suffer as much. I believe her way of coming to a place of peace was accepting; as hard as it was, that God makes no mistakes. He’s too wise to make a mistake and too just to do any wrong. And because we know; that things work together for the good of them that loved the Lord, them that are called according to His purpose.

Situations in life will constantly test our faith. We must learn to pray for the answers even when the answers we find are hard to comprehend. It doesn’t matter what others think or believe it only matters what we believe and hold as evidence to be true. There will always be those around us who will challenge every decision that we make. Our lives and times are in His hands. No one should be allowed to influence your life to the point that you begin living for them instead of yourself. Make a decision! Rather others agreed or not, know that it’s your life. The good, bad and ugly that we travel through will make you into the person you were predestined to be. We will all have to give an account for every decision made in life. Even if it’s wrong; it will work for our good if we have confidence in the Word.

Chapter 2

Religion is a huge part of my life. I believe in the Trinity. I believe in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I believe the three are one. I serve as a pastor here in my community, and have done so for the last twelve years. I believe I was called into the work ministry at a young age but, I would have to journey through some rough places, in order to get the proper training. I know that where I am today is based on the truth of where I’ve journey and who was with me all the way.

I’ve watched my mother and the faith she has in God, and I’m happy to say it has made all the difference in my life. My mother was really strong in her walk with God. She is remembered as a praying woman. Back when I was growing up in Georgia, we didn’t have medical insurance as many of the other folks but, mother had a prayer life that’s out of this world. I recall mother getting in a place of prayer and we would witness the supernatural power of healing taking place right in our home. The old saints would fast and pray until God came through for them. They literally took Him at His Word. I learned at an early age to put a demand on the Word. His word will not return to him void but, it will accomplish that in which it was sent.

Because there was no medical insurance, we hardly ever saw a doctor. The only way one of us went to the doctor, would have been because we were near death and I mean dying. For toothaches, earaches, headaches and all kinds of childhood sickness and diseases, Jesus was REALLY our doctor. Mother would work with the medicines she had available in the house. More often than not, we had Bayer aspirin and Noxzema in our medicine cabinet. One of the older children, who weren’t sick, would have to walk to the downtown drug store to get these items, if she was out.

On one occasion I became quite ill. I had been in bed for a few days, maybe the flu, not really sure. My fever would not break and nothing mother did seem to be helping. Mother shut herself into the house, turned off the phone and the television and started praying. I recall her praying and talking to the Lord as she nursed me in that bed. When I could no longer eat nor drink, she began to plead the blood. She came to a place where she felt I was not going to make it if she didn’t get me to a doctor. But before she would take me to a doctor that she couldn’t afford, she decided to take me to her pastor. She picked me up out of the bed, washes me off, and carried me to the house of the Lord. She places me on the backseat of the car, and she peacefully drives to the church as if all is well.

Once we are at the church, she parks the car and we sit and wait. The parking lot is empty and we are the only ones there. I remember the then pastor, the late, Elder T.J Myers. Elder Myer was a big, tall, older gentleman, with what seemed like, the biggest hands in the world. He would be the first to