The Golden Layered Onion The Journal of a Child Sex Slave

The Journal of a Child Sex Slave, from a Child’s Point of View

Love, Ciddd

Eye to eye

Mission Statement:

The Golden Pearl Army has sent me here, and I am a nurse angel to doctor up as many wounds as possible and to give relief, even to those who have done things wrong, and those who have done things right. God has mercy; unfortunately, there are consequences. We reap what we sow. It’s that easy.

You

Your soul feels empty

Your heart is ripping

Your knees are shaking

You know it’s here.

The dark black tunnel

The long scary road ahead.

Your vision has changed

You can’t sea anything

But you know what’s there.

Where do you run?

Who can you trust?

In the mist of darkness,

You are the only one.

- The Slayereth

Girl

When the little girl comes out to play

She has to be under control of the devil.

When she’s running with the devil

She has no life. You call it life.

You call it safety. You call it

Well behaved.

For the darkness knows no light until it shines bright and

The light of the tunnel is there.

To all my fellow man, the light is inside deep like the deepest of the sea

Where big beautiful octopuses roam

Working for the golden light from above.

There is hope and relief ahead, my fellow man,

It is right here now.

Watch its moves.

It’s there, my fellow man,

Look and you shall find it.

Thank you for reading this book.

I can sea you reading it and having hope.

Not all feel this much pain and suffering.

Some have spaces with light in them.

I can’t stop helping you.

- Love, Cid

Please note: names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Sorry to everybody that they have to read horrific realities, but sometimes we need shock treatment.

So, please read at your own risk. There is sexual content in the book. This book is rated R – parental discretion is advised.

The truth shall set us free. This story is my life as a child sex slave and my post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) gift and duty to the children of the entire planet. Please try to read the whole thing. As I write this book and then sea the Golden onion layers unfold. As the onion layers unfold to a long journey through the unknown of a brain who survived a monster, friend, family member, who tricked everyone into denial. How hard it is to wrap this kinda life hidden behind the light. This journey through the sad realization that we have a huge responsibility to help those who are sick, who have the DNA of child sex offenders, and those who have the desire for children that can refrain from their desires. We have to be able to be truthful so that we can help the human race.

The Golden Layered Onion: The Bittersweet Pain of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

The Journal of a Child Sex Slave

Introduction

In this book, I share my experiences and my opinions from what I have learned from being trapped with a child molester for seven years as a child sex slave. Introduction of awareness of children’s scary monsters that live on our planet, which we know as pedophiles; however, not all pedophiles are child molesters. Not all can stop themselves so it’s our duty to stop them. There are pedophiles who have learned to live and abstain from their sexual urges, and my hat goes off to them. It took many years and many people to put down Larry Lee Dailey, the child molester who got me, but he is now sentenced to over forty years with no chance of parole. His victims, however, suffer.

I am writing this book to help my fellow human of the universe to strengthen their genes and their DNA lines for the future to come, for each and every living being on this planet. The answer is YES, I do have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), that’s what the earthlings call it. It’s about awareness.

As a child, I got to live in Hawaii with the hippies in 1972, and nudist colonies in some parts of the ghetto of Hawaii and parts of the rain forest of Hawaii. (Thank God for all of the music that got me through my day-to-day life and I want to thank all of the older rock and roll stars that were there for me, dead and alive ones, I am thanking them all. By the age of two, I had already sean Led Zeppelin in concert.) Thank God for the Hawaiian culture and surf culture, too. Thank God for the water because without the water, I’d be dead right now. Without the water, I wouldn’t be alive.

When I was 13 and I was just set free, it was like I got out of a dark cave; not a pretty one, though. I love caves, but this cave, you need tools to survive and to get through it. It’s almost as if you would be imagining yourself packing your lunch and in your lunch, you are putting everything in that you like and that is going to satisfy your taste buds and fill your belly, and nourish your body. Those are all tools that you pack for your body’s nourishment. That’s the same thing that people have to do with PTSD when they go through dark tunnels and come out. They need to repack their tools to get ready in case they go through another dark cave. I am trying to give the world these tools so that they have an awareness to prepare themselves with armor, the Golden Pearl armor.

At 13, I started school for the first time without Larry at home. I got ready to go into 7th grade, and I had home economics. For the first time, at school, I got to be free. It was like when you wind a rubber band up and then all of a sudden they cut it, you spin out. Once it is spun out, you have a lovely rubber band, (but you can’t guarantee that the rubber band will be usable; sometimes it might crack or be stretched so far that it can’t go back, and it won’t be usable for your hair). In Home Economics, I got to make a sewing project, and I picked a purple octopus. I am still in love with that octopus today. The reason that I talk about this as such a significant thing is because I had no conscious brain power left in the cognitive area of my brain due to all the stress and strain that Larry put upon my brain. I had to develop new pockets in my brain because Larry put such a strain that I developed extra brains. But when Larry was gone, the strain was set free and I could consciously remember the purple octopus and the fact that I could sew. The feeling that I got to be free from Larry – someone did come to the door and take me away from it. (My father.) I didn’t realize how talented I was (when I made the purple octopus). I still sea billboards, with octopuses on them.

Father God is my savior,

He came to me in the night

And held me tight, and

Set me free.

Ciddd

What good did come out of me to survive pedophilia and rape? Is it to be a warrior for all my other fellow families around the universe who are seaking help from pedophilia? They say that there is always something good from bad, but I promise, we can have the good; we don’t have to have the bad. We do not. Not when it comes to little people who cannot defend themselves. Not to change the subject, but I want my mom and my father to know that it may hurt them to read this book and to know that each one of them has brought something special to my life, but the truth will set you free. I believe in freedom. Freedom of choice and birth rights to protect all humans from sexual abuse, otherwise we will have a world of walking zombies, and we will self-destruct.

It’s like I can sea myself being shot through this dark tunnel, cave place and I’m spit out back and forth to the Golden Pearl Army. I am not a man, nor a woman. Right now, as I live on this planet, I am in a very big dark cave, trying to save as many little children as possible. As I write this book, I am in the biggest tunnel I ever could imagine being in. I am grateful to have everyone that reads my book. It’s like pouring the vanilla in your cake mix. Oh how sweet!

Also, I may offend some readers who disagree with what I believe, and I am not here to judge anybody, although, if God didn’t want us to be aware, he wouldn’t have sent me here. And he wouldn’t have given us a nervous system so we can be feeling our surroundings. Similar to feeling like crying when we are sad, we have feelings for a reason. We are conscious beings, and the more you become aware of your own gifts, the faster you get to know them, the better.

One of my gifts is that the dead come through me. Lately, it has been males. I have had a couple of females, but mainly males. What I mean by they come through me is that I get messages from the individual. All of a sudden, I may be sitting there watching TV or something, and then I get a moment when I am stopped in time. That is when I get a clear message of the person and what they are telling me. That’s all I can say. I feel it is a gift because when I do it, I get gigantic validations and proof that God is giving me work and wanting me to help people that have not been able to settle their way down to feel like they are safe and calm again. Similar to when you know that a bad guy is coming in, and your nervous system cannot relax. That’s the kind of validations that I get when the dead come through me.

I am sorry if this book is sad and scary, and if I offend any religious people, but it’s time to take the blinders off. It’s time to take the rug and clean and hang it outside and let it get some fresh air. So you can sea what’s under the rug and clean it.

I was asking the universe, Are you pleased with me, Father? when the Lady in Lavender came down with gold bells from the sky, with gold trim; long brown hair with gold ribbons, and gold trimming along her dress and bells in her hands that she could clap together. This is not a joke, this really happened to me. The lavender represented healing and the gold was grateful and bright. That’s when I got the vision of the Lady in Lavender. Ever since that I had such an awakening experience; but I have had many more than that. This book is based on a child’s point of view of being sexually abused.

A four and a half year old to the age of twelve and a half year old. A sex doll for a manipulative, controlling child molesting monster from his age of twenty years old to twenty eight years old.

The Golden Layered Onion: The Bittersweet Pain of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

The Journal of a Child Sex Slave

July 24, 2014

Scenario

When you live with a child molester, they live in their world, only they control and dictate your every move in your world. Similar to a dream that you can’t get out of, and you keep hoping you will wake up. Sweat and tears and anxiety, and sweaty palms, twitching nerves, feeling wretched like a heavy black cloud is pressing on your chest and you are getting just enough to get to the next step, in order for their sexual needs to be met hour to hour. When you (family member, parent, loved one, friend of a child) are alone or with another person, they will work hard at getting your attention away from your own child. They will be very smart, yet dumb at the same time. The more that you are aware of them, the more you will sea that they cannot control their behavior and their world to a point.

There are children around your city who need you desperately to notice what is happening. Every child, meaning babies as well, all human life from birth to any age, who is being molested right at this moment, while we are out dining or working, please watch for these signs. Male or female will work around their prey; they will give them personal attention. They will push to be alone with the child whether it is taking them home in a time of need, or a baseball coach getting on a baseball player whose parents are too strict, and worried about their kid winning, and the coach can pick up on these circumstances so that the coach can scare the child. He can either try to comfort them in times of sorrow, depending on how the pedophile at the moment assesses in his brain his surroundings, or he can control with threats to tell your parents bad things about the game. Sometimes this can go on for a long time before you notice, and then the pedophile has gotten to the child, and then it’s too late. Boom. They’ve got the venom, and you’ve been bitten.

These species we call pedophiles, child lovers or child molesters, they are very real. Some are very vicious in ways that seem nice and good. It is a hellish day waiting to come your way to your new born baby. I know that this sounds very wretched, and down and negative, and I’m sorry, but the raw truth is that some of these people can be vicious in that they are born with a disease that there is no cure for yet. I know that we love some of them, and we care about some of them, but it is time to stand up and protect our human race. We also have to help the humans learn to be aware of them. Also, they deserve protection as well. They need help. They didn’t ask, God, can I come to earth to be a monster? There are people born with the DNA of pedophilia. There are some humans that are more open about their love for little people and come out of the closet, so to speak, to help others and themselves. That is the most courageous human effort to protect others that I have ever seen in the history of human beings. Some hide it under marriage and still find a way to the child. Some know that they have it and have never physically hurt a child.

Post-Traumatic Syndrome

As young as I can remember, I knew God. I can only remember from the day that I met Larry, the day that he got into our VW in 1970. He got into our car, and said to me, Hello, sexy, and I knew he was bad and I was in deep trouble. And I was. I remember him hanging around my mom and waiting to get to me. He had long hair, surfer, guitar player, and he had a zig zag tattoo on his upper arm. He was six foot, 2 inches, and he had a long beard, too. My mom had no clue who she opened her palace up to. As he waited to get to me, I could feel a type of hyperness, I would say. I was bouncing more. I felt like I was becoming ready for combat, and who the fuck is going to believe me?

I would like to tell my story for all people, not just other sexual slaves, survivors, but all people who have had trauma to their nervous system and their loved ones and friends, what we as people go through with PTSD and how it affects all of us. The wretched pain that many people go through can take you to places of many, one place you can go is to the child molester’s world that is if you have PTSD from sexual abuse, or maybe it’s a gift and you can’t explain it to people. They don’t have the info that your brain has or anything that comes from being a survivor of any trauma of the nervous system, similar to an octopus’s nervous system. Octopuses like to taste their environment and who they come across. They feel everything through their nervous system and it’s on the outside. It’s thick through their skin. It feels like you can read body language very well, and you smell it, taste it, hear it, and feel it. I realize that it just isn’t always what you think it is, or feel. That’s not to say that you’re never right, but you can be sure that most people don’t understand or have a care about it because they don’t think about it, until they have lived it: sexual abuse and the monster trapped inside.

With this type of monster, you won’t comprehend, but I can only give clues to help you, and it’s up to you to understand it or to get it, so to speak. When you grow up with certain things, like visiting your grandparents, who loved you and took very loving care of you, and were grateful to have grandchildren because they’re the next generation to carry on those bodies and genes, and DNA. If you have grown up giving blow jobs or getting forced for years to have your mom’s boyfriend lick on your vagina with a scruffy beard, and who is physically and mentally abusive to your entire family, or if you have had to have sex with your mother or father your whole life, then you learn about these kind of characteristics and you know their every move, their facial expressions, their words, moods, anger, what they want and feel at all times. They are your master. This is not the kind of master you like. This is the kind of master you might want to attack or have a plot to get them, just like in that really good movie, Matilda where her family abused her and she got special powers and was able to shut the bedroom door and lock it, where she’s sitting on the bed because of her energy.

The funny thing about it is that there are many kinds of this species and there are males and females both. Unfortunately, even the best can be tricked. That’s why we must be on our guard for our yard. We have to have a safe place that pedophiles who have opened up and become honest, and who have not acted on their desires, for them to come out of their closet, so to speak, so they are not bullied.

I have just recently started to understand the female child molester. I have met a few. When I talk about a little gal in her thirties that I met at the mental hospital I was 44 at the time, when I went into the mental hospital for