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    Dad Jokes: Over 600 of the Best (Worst) Jokes Around and Perfect Gift for All Ages!
    Dad Jokes: Over 600 of the Best (Worst) Jokes Around and Perfect Gift for All Ages!
    Dad Jokes: Over 600 of the Best (Worst) Jokes Around and Perfect Gift for All Ages!
    Ebook94 pages54 minutes

    Dad Jokes: Over 600 of the Best (Worst) Jokes Around and Perfect Gift for All Ages!

    By Jimmy Niro

    4.5/5

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    About this ebook

    A USA Today bestseller! Dad Jokes: the good, the bad, and the terrible, a perfect gift for dads and pun-lovers alike!

    With over 600 knee-slappers, head-shakers, and groan-makers, Dad Jokes is packed with enough witty quips and cheesy-but-grate jokes for even the most embarrassing of dads. Perfect for the father experts, new dads, and all the fathers-to-be, this is the ideal funny gift from any daughter, son, wife, or partner that celebrates how great (terrible) their jokes truly are! But remember—you don't have to be a dad to tell dad jokes! Be prepared for the obvious, silly, and awkward in this massive collection of the best groan-worthy dad jokes around, including clever quips, overly literal dialogue, and punny one-liners. Great for Father's Day, Christmas, white elephant, birthdays, and more!

    These jokes may be on porpoise, but they whale definitely make you laugh:

    I used to hate facial hair, but then it started growing on me.

    "Dad, can you put my shoes on?"

    "No, I don't think they'll fit me."

    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

    Q: What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?

    A: The road.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSourcebooks
    Release dateMay 1, 2018
    ISBN9781492679219
    Dad Jokes: Over 600 of the Best (Worst) Jokes Around and Perfect Gift for All Ages!
    Author

    Jimmy Niro

    JIMMY NIRO is the proud father of five children, all of whom he embarrasses regularly with his bad dad jokes.

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      Book preview

      Dad Jokes - Jimmy Niro

      Won’t

      Q: When does a joke become a dad joke?

      A: When it becomes apparent!

      Ah, the dad joke—humor that reminds us of all the lovable, embarrassing dads out there, both real and fictional. Most joke books try to avoid these jokes—the obvious, the silly, the awkward. But this book steers straight ahead to the absolute cringe-worthy! These are the cheesy puns, overly literal one-liners, and witty quips dads tell that we all know and love (maybe somewhat reluctantly). You’ll find jokes on everything from food and animals to professions and traffic, so buckle up, folks! You are about to read some of the best dad jokes imaginable!

      "Dad, will you hand me my sunglasses?"

      "As soon as you hand me my dadglasses, Son."

      Q: What did the pen say to the other pen?

      A: "You’re inkredible!"

      It was easy for me to master braille once I got a feel for it.

      Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?

      A: "Between you and me, something smells."

      Dad, can you put my shoes on?

      I don’t think they’d fit me.

      I tell dad jokes but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa.

      Q: What do you call a small parent?

      A: A minimum!

      I’m terrified of elevators. I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

      As a child, it was my dream to make a perfect bar of soap, but somehow it just slipped away.

      Q: What do snowmen do in their spare time?

      A: They just chill.

      Did you hear about the man who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the No Bell Prize.

      Q: What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

      A: Nobody knows.

      Do you want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind; it’s tearable.

      My father and I were in the car traveling to a family outing. On the way, after passing a graveyard, my dad asked, Did you know that’s a popular cemetery?

      No, why? I responded.

      People are just dying to get in there! he replied.

      After I groaned, he continued, in all seriousness, But really, did you know I can’t be buried there?

      Why not, Dad? I asked, surprised.

      Because I’m not dead yet!

      The bank robber took a bath after a heist. He wanted to make a clean getaway.

      Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to chorus?

      A: He wanted to sing higher!

      Did you hear about the houses that fell in love? It was a lawn-distance relationship.

      Q: Why did the belt go to jail?

      A: Because it held up a pair of pants!

      Our wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.

      Never buy anything with Velcro®. It’s a total rip-off.

      Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award?

      A: Because he was outstanding in his field.

      Did you hear about the guy who invented Life Savers®? They say he made a mint.

      "Dad, are you going to take a bath?"

      "No, I’m leaving it where it is."

      Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Hundreds of soles were lost.

      I worked out so hard, the police put me in

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