The Bullseye Principle: Mastering Intention-Based Communication to Collaborate, Execute, and Succeed

CONTENTS

Cover

Praise for The Bullseye Principle

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Introduction

Chapter 1: Hit Your Mark

The Legend of Phil Davison

Consequences of Poor Communication

The Persuasion Equation: Intention and Objective

The Pinnacle Method Three-Step Process

Chapter 2: Define Your Personal Brand

Branding

Defining Your Personal Brand

Creating a Personal Branding Statement

The Power of Executive Presence

Elements of Executive Presence

Chapter 3: Land the Job

Preparing for Your Interview

Nailing the Actual Interview

Chapter 4: Communicate Like a Leader

How Men and Women Lead Differently

Effective Leadership Communication

Leadership and Power

Styles of Leadership

Chapter 5: Inspire and Motivate Others

Understanding Employee Engagement

Leading a Team Through Change

Engaging Your Team Members

The Formula for the Perfect Pep Talk

Chapter 6: Build Relationships

Connecting with Others to Build a Network

Building Your Network

Chapter 7: Create a Memorable Narrative

Creating Heroes and Villains

Chapter 8: Handle Difficult Conversations

Managing Emotional Interactions

Handling Difficult Questions

Asking Effective Questions

Delivering Feedback Effectively

Receiving Feedback Effectively

Chapter 9: Run Killer Meetings

Five Different Types of Meetings

Part One: Pre-Meeting Preparation

Part Two: Facilitating the Actual Meeting

Part Three: Post Meeting Follow Up

Chapter 10: Make the Sale

Preparation Is Key

Get Comfortable Saying No

Choose Your Words Carefully

Putting It All Together

Glossary of Terms

Acknowledgments

About the Authors

About Pinnacle Perormance Company

Index

End User License Agreement

Praise for The Bullseye Principle

"Effective communication is vital to business success. It is the key to real leadership and it is necessary at all levels of any enterprise. The Bullseye Principle is an invaluable guide to successful communication."

—Colin Stanbridge, CEO, London Chamber of Commerce and Industry

A useful reminder for leaders and advisers of some key principles and practical approaches that will increase your impact within your organization and with your clients.

—Michael Burke, CEO Talent, Rewards, Performance, Aon

Great insights to engage and influence people who matter the most in the moment when it matters the most, and all I need to do is to bring my best self.

—Arti Gusain, Group Leader, Leadership and Organizational Development Team, Infosys Leadership Institute

"The Bullseye Principle not only outlines simple tools and a 3–step process to help me connect with my audience, it also reinforces the importance of intentionality and authenticity."

—Pat Wadors, Chief Talent Officer, ServiceNow

"Love it! The Bullseye Principle is an excellent resource for anyone wanting to be a more engaging and influential leader."

—Kevin Kruse, Founder, LEADx.org and New York Times Bestselling Author

"The Bullseye Principle has empowered me to better command the attention of my audience, ensuring my message and my call to action are clearly understood."

—Jim De Maria, former Executive Director of Communication, Chicago Blackhawks

Yet another masterpiece by Lewis and Mills . . . enthralling and captivating.I recommend this book, especially to executives who want to make their mark.

—Prachi Mishra, Learning & Development Head, Dassault India

"The Bullseye Principle deals with pragmatic communication strategies and tools. . .a good reference for leaders who aspire to lead transformations, persuade changes, and connect with an audience to deliver results."

—Ajinth Sreedharan, Head of North America Learning and Development, Capgemini

The stories we tell ourselves and others make or break an organization. Lewis and Mills provide a gold standard resource here for leaders to connect with others effectively, and to simply get things done. Fabulous read.

—Han Ee Lim, CEO, Singapore Sailing

A great read for the executive who needs a tune–up on how to have impactfulconversations with their audience. The authors remind us how communication is an art in need of practice.

—Holly Buckendahl, CEO, Ronald McDonald House Charities® Chicagoland & NW Indiana

"For years, our Executive Education clients have ranked the techniques taught by Lewis and Mills at the top of the scale. The Bullseye Principle is yet another ‘top pick’ for those who are serious about mastering communication."

—Bill Joiner, Executive Director, Business Development, Southern Methodist University, COX Executive Education

"Relevant and timely. In an era of communication confusion, The Bullseye Principle, brings to light distinct communication struggles and exactly how you can improve yourself to succeed personally and professionally."

—Krysta Van Ranst, Director of Learning and Development, Dellbrook | JKS

"The Bullseye Principle delivers exquisite techniques that help our leaders drive business impact and meaningful conversations that matter."

—Christina Itzkowitz, Senior Director Global Talent Management, Charles River Laboratories

"The Bullseye Principle hits the mark dead center. As a former Major League Baseball player, knowing the techniques in this book would have made me a better team communicator and team leader. It definitely will aid me, post MLB, as I pursue my speaking career."

—Brian D. Barton, former Major League Baseball Player, St. Louis Cardinals

"The Bullseye Principle is one of the most useful and captivating books I have read in years. Simple and powerful, it cleverly links a proven methodology to help readers build executive presence and influence others simply by the way they communicate."

—Mark McNitt, Director Business Process, Ferguson Enterprises

With an emphasis on objective and intent, Lewis and Mills have constructed a succinct technique that enables one to clearly achieve their goals through communication.

—Scott Michael Campbell, film and television actor (Brokeback Mountain, Flight of the Phoenix, Shameless)

Recent college grads, as well as more experienced workers, will find not only an entertaining read but a book that moves you from mere ‘ah–ha’ moments to actualizing an exciting new approach to communication and influence. Readers beware . . . there is a new you on the horizon!

—Janine G. Tarkow, Director STRIVE Leadership Program, University of California, San Diego

David Lewis G. Riley Mills

The Bullseye

Principle

Mastering Intention-Based Communication to Collaborate, Execute, and Succeed

Cover image: ©malerapaso/Getty Images

Cover design: Wiley

Copyright © 2018 David Lewis and G. Riley Mills. All rights reserved.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

Published simultaneously in Canada.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750–8400, fax (978) 646–8600, or on the Web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748–6011, fax (201) 748–6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

For general information on our other products and services or for technical support, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762–2974, outside the United States at (317) 572–3993 or fax (317) 572–4002.

Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com. For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

Names: Lewis, David H., 1970- author. | Mills, G. Riley, author.

Title: The bullseye principle : mastering intention-based communication to collaborate, execute, and succeed / David Lewis, G. Riley Mills.

Description: Hoboken : Wiley, 2018. | Includes index. |

Identifiers: LCCN 2017057632 (print) | LCCN 2018003857 (ebook) | ISBN 9781119484707 (pdf) | ISBN 9781119484677 (epub) | ISBN 9781119484714 (hardback) | ISBN 9781119484707 (ePDF)

Subjects: LCSH: Communication in management. | Leadership. | Cooperation. | BISAC: BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Leadership.

Classification: LCC HD30.3 (ebook) | LCC HD30.3 .L486 2018 (print) | DDC 658.4/5–dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017057632

Dedicated to Celeste, Rider, and Hunter. You inspire me to do more, to learn more, and to play more.

—DL

For my Mom. Thank you for a lifetime of inspiration, guidance, and unwavering love and support.

—GRM

When an archer misses the mark . . . failure to hit the bullseye is never the fault of the target. To improve your aim, improve yourself.

—Gilbert Arland

Introduction

In order to succeed, we must first believe we can.

—MICHAEL KORDA

Truth be told, we never intended to write the book you are now holding in your hands. After completing our first book, The Pin Drop Principle, we thought we had said everything we wanted to say on the subject of communication skills and becoming a more influential speaker. But in the years since its release, as we traveled the world training and coaching executives across various industries, something interesting started to happen. We began to notice distinct shifts in the way people were communicating with one another, how they were presenting information and new ways in which they were managing their teams. Communication in the corporate arena was changing and many of the old ways were no longer proving useful. One study found that people interact with their cell phones—touching, tapping, swiping—an average of 2,617 times a day.1 Another study revealed that 67 percent of people felt that the meetings they attended at their job were generally a waste of time2 and a third study found that 65 percent of workers wanted to receive more feedback from their managers because they were not getting what they needed.3 We suddenly realized it was time to revisit some of the concepts we had touched upon previously and explore them in greater detail, to further the conversation and continue to untangle the intricacies of human communication and the ways in which people interact with one another.

And then the election of 2016 happened.

As a young man growing up in Queens, Donald Trump often fantasized about being an actor on the New York stage, commanding the attention of an audience and basking in the spotlight. In 2016, Trump's shocking electoral victory made the public question everything they thought they understood about how leaders are expected to behave, how messages get conveyed, and how opinions are developed. What was once thought of as effective communication seemed to momentarily get scrambled, and in some ways, redefined. We will touch upon the good, the bad, and the ugly aspects of Trump's communication in later chapters, but this, combined with groundbreaking new research on the topic of communication, created an urgency for us to embark on a more detailed exploration of modern communication with the hope of eventually sharing our findings with the public. This book is the culmination of that work.

The ability to communicate with purpose and clarity is the key to personal and professional success.

That statement is the core and founding belief behind our global communication skills training firm Pinnacle Performance Company. Those who have trained with us or read The Pin Drop Principle know that we approach the subject of communication from a very unique vantage point in that we both have extensive experience running businesses and managing sales teams in the corporate arena, while also having enjoyed careers as professional actors, working in television, film, and theater. It is the meshing of these two distinct skill sets—the corporate and the creative—that has formed the basis of our acclaimed, intention-based communication™ skills training and methodology.

For the past 15 years, we have been fortunate to train leaders and executives in nearly 50 countries, studying the way people interact with one another and noting what works, what doesn't, and where communication gets short-circuited. In the end, human beings all want to understand and be understood, but effective communication is not something that happens easily. And without a firm grasp of the elements needed to be a good communicator, there is no guarantee it will happen at all. Think about how communication impacts you on a daily basis with your boss, your clients, your peers, and even your family members. In fact, think about your life at this very moment. Wherever you are as you read this paragraph, chances are pretty good that right now, today, there is a relationship in your life, either personal or professional, that is causing you stress or anxiety. And there is also a high probability that the cause of that tension can be traced back to a problem with how the two of you are communicating with each other.

In the Pinnacle methodology, we detail how the same set of tools that actors have used for centuries to appear more confident, credible, and captivating, can just as easily be utilized by someone in the corporate environment. In the following chapters, we will delve deeper into these concepts by sharing additional principles that professional performers utilize to define their brand, show empathy, perform under pressure, and collaborate effectively with others. We will show you just how quickly and easily these techniques can be transferred to the corporate arena—helping you improve performance, re-engage with your content, and get results. Our award-winning, intention-based methodology utilizes a strategic psychological approach that incorporates the acting mindset of objective and intention to influence audience emotion to motivate behavior change. We have distilled what we call The Pinnacle Method™ down to three specific steps that we will share in Chapter 1. It is the implementation of these three steps that will serve as a foundation for the material we share throughout the rest of this book. At the end of each chapter, you will find guides called blueprints that we have created to help you apply the content to your own communication. These guides will not only help you lock in the learning, they can also serve as a resource whenever you need to revisit a specific topic—when dealing with a sudden change scenario at work, adjusting to a new role, or running a weekly status meeting.

Being good in business is the most fascinating kind of art.

—ANDY WARHOL

The quote from Gilbert Arland that we include at the beginning of this book is an illuminating one. Picture an arrow whizzing through the air toward its target. That is how we view communication. It doesn't matter your role or what topic you are discussing, if the arrow that is your message does not hit its intended bullseye, you will have fallen short of the mark as a communicator. If your audience is bored during your meeting or confused during your presentation, it is your fault. The burden of engagement always lies with the speaker.

To extend the metaphor even further, if the bullseye in this image is the objective you seek with your communication and the arrow represents your message, then your intention is the way in which you launch that arrow—the specific adjustments you make with regard to the aim, angle, and depth of the pull—that sends your ideas out into the world. The pairing of a strong intention utilized in the pursuit of a specific objective is the secret weapon that actors and great leaders use to engage and influence and is something we will explore in greater detail shortly.

Sergey Brin and Larry Page, the brilliant computer scientists who founded Google, always believed that hard skills and technical expertise were the most important qualities necessary for workplace success. But in 2013, Google ran a study called Project Oxygen that shocked everyone by concluding that, among the eight most important qualities of their top employees, technical expertise actually came in dead last. The top seven characteristics of success for their teams were all soft skills: being a good coach; communicating and listening well, having empathy toward one's colleagues, etc.4

In a recent Wall Street Journal survey of nearly 900 executives, more than 92 percent said skills such as communication and collaboration were equally important or more important than technical skills with regard to their workforce.5 Unfortunately, nearly the same number of executives—89 percent—said they have a difficult time finding people with these requisite attributes.6 One recent survey found a huge gap between the younger generation's perception of their skills and what their bosses actually thought. About 62 percent of these young workers believed their oral communication skills were good enough for them to succeed at work, but only 28 percent of their employers agreed.7 Their ability to collaborate as part of a team was also seen differently, as 64 percent of students thought they worked well with others but only 37 percent of their bosses agreed.8 What these numbers reveal is that communication in the corporate arena needs to be better for your teams and organizations to thrive. According to Richard Branson, the billionaire founder of Virgin Airlines, Communication is the most important skill any leader can possess,9 and Warren Buffett agrees, saying, You can improve your value by 50 percent just by learning communication skills.10

Scientists and experts have been studying communication for centuries to try to understand why people behave the way they do. As professional actors, we know that communication is never simply about the information being exchanged; it is also about how it is being communicated. In the end, it is the emotion and motivation behind your message that will compel your audience to take action. The subtle tactics and modifications an actor or speaker add to their delivery are called intention cues, something we will discuss in Chapter 1. According to Ken Howard, an Emmy- and Tony-award-winning actor who has also taught a course on salesmanship at Harvard, Like an actor, the effective communicator has to have an overall objective and then play the actions to fulfill that objective. . .. At every level—in politics, diplomacy, law, education, business, social relations—effective communication is about winning people's attention, impressing them, then getting them to do what you believe they ought to do: buy the product, beat the competition, hire you.11

Communication, when delivered effectively, has the power to transform and deepen relationships, while ineffective communication can result in a toxic stew of anger or resentment that can lose clients, negatively impact employee morale, and ruin friendships. Sadly, when it comes to communication, most people are simply not very good at it. According to recent studies, 71 percent of those surveyed reported that their managers did not spend enough time explaining goals to them.12 Additionally, 70 percent of respondents in another survey said they would be happier and 55 percent said they would be more successful if they got along better with their bosses.13 These numbers should be a wake-up call to anyone tasked with leading a workforce or managing a team. One popular Gallup study found that a stunning 67 percent of employees in the United States were currently not engaged or actively disengaged with their jobs14 and that number climbs to 85 percent worldwide.15 These disengaged employees end up costing U.S. companies an estimated $450–550 billion annually.16 In upcoming chapters, we will delve deeper into the solutions we recommend for keeping people motivated, but clearly communication is at the forefront of these efforts.

Power consists in one's capacity to link his will with the purpose of others.

—WOODROW WILSON

To engage an audience and make them listen, to persuade them to take action or see something your way, your message should provide a benefit and connect directly to their own personal wants, needs, or desires. Twentieth-century Russian theater director Constantin Stanislavski, often credited as the father of modern acting, knew the importance of engagement. Completely absorb an audience, he would say, Making [them] not only understand but participate emotionally in. . .an experience which will not be erased by time.17 In the following chapters, when we use the term audience, we are referring to anyone with whom you communicate, such as peers, clients, wedding guests, or your future in-laws. Anyone you come into contact with or communicate ideas to is an audience. Viola Spolin, who revolutionized the idea of improvisational acting for twentieth-century actors, once said: The audience is the most revered member of the theater. . .everything done is ultimately for the enjoyment of the audience. They are our guests, fellow players, and the last spoke in the wheel which can then begin to roll.18 This same idea applies to anyone presenting information in a business setting, whether delivering a presentation to clients or running a meeting for your local PTA. Like an actor in the theater, the success of your performance will depend on how effectively you deliver your message and how well it is received by your intended audience.

The role of public speaker has much in common with acting, said Ken Howard. The character that you have to perfect is the best version of yourself—for that occasion and that audience. Not a phony version of yourself, just a better-prepared version.19 In the corporate arena, the speaker's situation is similar to that of the actor's. They both have an objective they are pursuing and both employ various tactics—what we call intentions—to achieve that objective. The renowned acting coach Declan Donnellan takes this idea one step further, stating, We live by acting roles, be it father, mother, teacher, or friend. Acting is a reflex, a mechanism for development and survival.20

In business, everyone has a role to play and an audience to influence. Our training is at the forefront of a new movement in the business world to utilize the methods of professional actors to help business leaders thrive. Schools such as MIT Sloane School of Management, Stanford Graduate School of Business, Darden School of Business at University of Virginia, Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, Cox School of Business at Southern Methodist University, and University of Oxford and Warwick Business School in the United Kingdom have all drawn lessons from the world of theater and acting to enhance their MBA students' abilities to be strong leaders and communicators. In his groundbreaking book Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman makes the connection between the skills of an actor and how these can be utilized for each of us in our daily lives. People who make an excellent social impression, said Goleman, are adept at monitoring their own expression of emotion, are keenly attuned to the ways others are reacting, and so are able to continually fine-tune their social performance, adjusting it to make sure they are having the desired effect. In that sense, they are like skilled actors.21

Influential leaders have been employing the principles of professional actors to improve their communication for centuries—going all the way back to 360 BC, when the actor Satyrus transformed the Athenian statesman Demosthenes into one of the most dynamic orators of all time.22 So revered as a communicator was Demosthenes that the famed ad man David Ogilvy, widely hailed as The Father of Advertising, cited him as the inspiration for his persuasive ad campaigns, saying, When Aeschines spoke, they said, ‘How well he speaks.’ But when Demosthenes spoke, they said, ‘Let us march against Philip.’23

The idea of influential speakers borrowing from the actor's toolbox has a very prominent place in world history. Winston Churchill and Abraham Lincoln performed Shakespeare to help sharpen their oratorical chops. Ronald Reagan, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Strahan, Vaclav Havel, and Justin Trudeau were all actors before transitioning to leadership roles. And yet others such as Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Angela Merkel, John F. Kennedy, Suze Orman, and Tony Robbins all studied with acting coaches to improve their presence and delivery. Even Dale Carnegie, the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, started out as an actor. And there is good reason that all of these leaders have leaned on the performance methods of actors to improve their communication. Through training and practice, actors become body language detectives, human sponges, studying the way people speak, move, gesture, stand, and dress, down to the smallest detail. To some degree, the same holds true for anyone working in the corporate environment. We all make judgments about others based on how they look, what they say, and how they say it. To be trusted, we need to appear authentic and credible in the eyes of our audiences. Consequently, the more credible and believable you appear, the more trust you will engender with your audience and the more success you will inevitably achieve. Stanislavski always demanded believable truth from his actors, saying, On the stage, as in real life, action, objectives, given circumstances, a sense of truth, concentration of attention, emotion, memory—should be indivisible.24 Many of Stanislavski's methods and texts, though originally meant for actors, can serve anyone wanting to be a more influential communicator. Actors understand that communication comes from the total presence of a person and the following chapters will provide information on how to improve that as well. We all have a natural energy that runs through us and affects the way we breathe, speak, move, and listen. Much like an actor performing a scene in a play or film, when you and a coworker are talking, you're attuned to and making judgments based on their facial expressions, gestures, and tone of voice, as well as the actual words they are speaking. You are in motion as you try to relate to each other and you are both responding to dozens of intention cues that are happening all at once. This is the realm of the professional actor.

Intention is the key to mastery.

—ROB HANNA

Jayne Benjulian, who served as the first chief speechwriter for Apple in the 1980s, understood the parallels between the performance of an actor and that of an executive in the boardroom. Once, recalled Benjulian, I took an Apple executive to a writing workshop to show him how actors work. He asked me: ‘How do you act sincerely?’ Truthfully, it's not an act. Great speakers risk being fully present in the moment.25 Effective communication, whether during a meeting or presentation, should feel fresh and spontaneous to an audience, as if they are the first person ever to hear these words. Actors understand that nothing deflates an audience's interest level quicker than a speaker whose delivery sounds memorized or robotic. This goes for an audience watching a presentation or attending a meeting at work. You've got to engage your audience to influence behavior change and this book will help you do just that. To be clear: The goal of this book is not to teach you how to be an actor. Acting is a craft and takes years to master. Additionally, we are not asking you to become an entertainer, or magically transform into an extrovert when you are a naturally introverted person. We simply want you to be a performer in the sense of performance as it relates to interviews, meetings, and executive presence—bringing your best self to the moment, no matter the setting, no matter the audience.

The Bullseye Principle can be read sequentially or read in a modular way. Feel free to read the first chapter to understand our three-step process and the concepts of intention and objective and then jump to specific chapters that you find most interesting, in whatever order you choose. For those who read The Pin Drop Principle, the terms we use here will be familiar to you and will allow you to hit