A Partial History of the Universe: The History Department at the University of Centrum Kath

A Partial History of the Universe

By SC Marshall

I wrote this. Blame no one else.

2018 Florida

Table of Contents

EARTH 7

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE

CHAPTER THIRTY

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

CHAPTER FORTY

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

CHAPTER FIFTY

CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX

CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN

CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT

CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE

CHAPTER SIXTY

CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE

CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO

CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE

CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR

CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE

MORTUIS LUNA

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

CHAPTER THIRTY

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

THE FINITE VOID

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

CHAPTER THIRTY

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

CHAPTER FORTY

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

READER’S GROUP

Steve Who?

EARTH 7

And the History Department at the University of Centrum Kath

By Steve M

Yeah, I wrote this.  Blame no one else.

2017 - Florida

––––––––

READER’S GROUP

Join the reader’s group and get:

-  A free copy of Improbables in the History Department series. Find out how it all went wrong with this prequel. Before the History Department there was the Math Department and the First McGee.

-  The Final War has begun.

-  Weekly novel-in-progress first draft

-  Discounts on new releases

-  News of multi-author book giveaways

––––––––

Join today before your planet self-destructs. Won’t it be comforting to know how life is out among the stars as you wait for the end of the world?

https://dl.bookfunnel.com/a1h26ol7tg

CHAPTER ONE

Welcome to the universe after we finally conquer the urge to blow it up.

But even a universe at peace is still a dangerous place.

First, let’s dispense with the legal requirement.

I am telling you this history per the exception made for FACTION (Facts Told as Fiction) in accordance with Section 183.17 of the Charter of the History Department at the University of Centrum Kath, the largest repository of knowledge and learning in the universe.

There, don’t want to lose my license.

I would like to start my report on the intervention on Earth Seven with a list of those who were either part of the intervention or played an important peripheral role to the intervention. 

Koven Modi -a first year field historian. Koven is a proven coward, a slacker, but has a high proficiency at games. He attempts to slide through life without too much effort even though Field Historian is a dangerous job. He was not the best person for the job. But because of Klept Emergency he was the only one left. Koven is also a lousy boyfriend. Just ask....

Tanit - Koven's girlfriend and a propulsion physicist. She has had just about enough of him and his fear of commitment, even if a historian is considered a catch. Tanit has an image in her mind of the perfect life and she is beginning to wonder if Koven is the right person to share it with. She wants them to sail away in the old spaceship she is restoring. She wants them to travel from planet to planet. He will teach history while she keeps their travelling home running smoothly.

Allor - found a crashed spaceship on Earth Seven as a child. He's a nice person who tries to do well but fails too often. He lost the woman he loved in the wars and he vowed revenge against the Cult of Ceros. Under other circumstances Koven and Allor could be friends. Allor reluctantly follows the advice of his mother... 

Tal - Allor's mother. She is the principal guide in Allor's life, proving that all parents are not good parents. She grew up in poverty so trained her son to be a thief. She founded the cult that worships him. She trained the priesthood and is in charge of purging priests of other cults in conquered territory. She is stunning looking with dark dramatic features.

Professor Wingut - the man who saved the universe a long time ago....accidentally when under pressure he forgot the PIN to an explosive device. He's the most well-known person ever. He sponsors Koven's missions as a field historian. He has also been secretly in love with Koven's mother, Indira, since they were in university together a long time ago. 

Indira Modi - Koven's mother and a history professor. She's the sort of mom we all wish we had. Kind, loving, supportive...and will fight you like a badger on Red Bull if you mess with her child. She's a woman of fine principles too, as you will find out in the climax of this history.

Eflin Modi -Koven's father is also a history professor and a golf fanatic. Regrettably he was a field historian during a period when mission assignments were incorrectly calculated. It resulted in him being given numerous violent missions and this has affected him mentally. PTSD plus level. He has never forgiven Koven for the death of his other son. 

Professor Siplonius Longley - The head of the history department. An annoying pedantic man who believes that everyone should agree with him because he has memorized the book of rules for life...if there were such a book. There isn't. We all know people just like him, know it alls that really don't.

Professor Leo Trill - The head of the sociology department. He is vain, arrogant and will do anything to increase his department budget. He also wants to overcome a humiliating event in the past that cost the department their right to oversee planets in contact quarantine. He wants to take them back from the History Department and reap the substantial budget that comes with them.

(At this point I am required by law and license to remind you that I am a Historian and I don't like the Sociology Department or any of the moving sphincters that are part of it.) 

Rusa - the first human replica android since the lifting of the ban on human appearance. Due to the Klept Emergency she was assigned to help Koven on his mission. But something is happening to her. She is beginning to calculate emotions. We didn’t understand just how profound a development this was.

––––––––

This history is not about your planet, even though your planet is a vital part of the history of how and why things operate the way they do in the universe. The First McGee came from Earth Five after all. It was her experiences and history that shaped her and her work. Rather this history is about a planet similar to your own, just not as advanced as Earth Five.

How similar is it to your planet? There are 3,726,041 developmental matches shared between Earth Five (your home) and Earth Seven. 8,714 developmental milestones are also shared.

What are developmental milestones? They are just developmental events, but the really important ones. Things like development of the wheel, the first pointed stick, the bow and arrow, the first time the dominant species stopped wandering around like philosophers looking for a toilet and planted some crops because Ug-Ug has some bones that break up the ground really well. They could finally settle down and even have a permanent cave. And sooner or later someone invents something called the fence and it turns out bad for everyone except the fence makers and those paid to keep people on a certain side of said fence. Things like that are examples of developmental milestones. But they are not all just technological advances, even though tech makes up the majority of the list.

There are also milestones in the development of thought. Some are really simple like ‘I’m sick of carrying around a satchel full of stones for trading sheep, there must be a better way’. Or ‘I won’t punch you in the nose because I wouldn’t like it if you did it to me’. These aren’t complex ideas and can be derived by most species from an early age. Then quickly forgotten when convenient.

There is also a progression of milestones in thought from the simplest to the slightly less so. ‘The stars are moving’ is an important early milestone followed much later by ‘maybe we are moving too’. ‘Our planet is round’ is one of those really, really big milestones, although on your planet there remain those who deny the fact.

The continued belief in a flat planet confuses many in the Sociology Department at the University of Centrum Kath. This despite hundreds of their scholarly papers, each of which attempts to explain the phenomenon adequately but fails. Many of the papers directly contradict other papers from the Sociology Department. Still sociologists don’t see that as a source of profound disgrace.

We in the History Department take a much different view about the publishing of contradicting papers. But then they are sociologists because they just weren’t good enough to become historians. We do not publish conjecture!

As for dealing with those who believe they live on planet Frisbee, I offer a quotation from the book of Arugula, Kale and Other Things I Don’t Miss, by the First McGee. ‘What education cannot accomplish is often achieved through therapy’.

Apologies, I’m being intellectually lazy and quoting the First McGee to merely sound clever and profound. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. Please forgive me. Please don’t report me. Complaint reviews are the worst.

Still, you should be proud, the First McGee was from Earth Five.

And yes, I do see the irony in it. The principal architect of organizational structure in the universe came from a planet that is in strict contact quarantine by the rest of the universe.  Seems impossible but it isn’t. It’s just improbable and that is a much longer history that I won’t explain in detail here. The First McGee was briefly an Improbable, a very rare non-accident of probability.

So why is your planet in contact quarantine? And why are there multiple planets called Earth?

All planets in contact quarantine are called Earth. It was the result of an unresolved argument in the Naming Division of the Astronomy Department before the deadline for naming the second planet in contact quarantine at the very beginning of the quarantine program. Earth Two was the last second compromise after weeks of arguments, badgering, and at least one shoving match between esteemed colleagues.

But now they call it a naming convention and feel much better about it and themselves. 

As for why Earth Five is in quarantine that is very simple. Just look around your planet. You are in quarantine because you’re extremely dangerous and we expect you to self-destruct soon. Currently there is a 63.82% probability of planetary self-immolation.

You don’t look well. Perhaps you should sit down. How about I fix you a nice strong alcoholic beverage?

I’ve studied Earth history. It’s gruesome. It’s grim and yet remarkably similar to most other planets with intelligent life. The developmental similarities are staggering. But let me explain what is your highest concern right now.

So why will you blow yourselves up?

In a word, Tech-Emp.

Imagine a graph.

The left vertical axis is the propensity to violence, the horizontal axis is time. But there is also a right vertical axis too. It is for the number of kills per use of a weapon. Consider it weapons effectiveness. 

There is a line that curves down to the right, indicating that as our civilization progresses; we become less prone to violent responses over time. We understand more things and can be more compassionate instead of fearful. The more you know, the more you understand, and the less likely you are to blow the crap out of something as your initial reaction to it. Let’s call it empathy that is made possible by knowledge.

But there is also a curve that starts near the intersection of both axes on the left and goes upwards as it goes to the right. Body Count per use of a weapon. More fundamentally, it represents weapons technology. As time progresses, we can kill more people and destroy more stuff every time we blow the shit out of things.

The point at which the two curves intersect is a very reasonable indicator as to whether your planet will make it to the finish line and you will join the rest of us in the Federation. Or you will blow yourselves to pieces in wars over things that really don’t matter and often are false, untrue, and fabricated to control you.

Apologies for an unpleasant truth.

When technology advances faster than empathy there is only one destination, an extinction event. This is not a complex idea. It’s very common. Consider your own recent history.

Just think of the technical advances in weaponry on your planet in the last hundred years. It used to be possible to simply stay a safe distance from the weapon and all would be fine. Twenty miles or so would usually work well enough to avoid extinction by the guns of Krupp Industries. But today there is no safe distance on your planet.

But don’t fret, you’re not alone. I know it is not much consolation to know you share the bad news. Tech-Emp applies at the planetary, the galactic, and universe levels too. Every civilization moves towards the challenge and most do not survive. It is almost like one of the laws of physics, constant and dependable. Self-destruction has happened to thousands of planets that we know of. Big and strong, then suddenly gone in a pretty flash of light. 

There is a famous quote about the correlation between technology and destruction. I need to recall is perfectly so give me just a moment. OK.

‘When your technology is finally capable of showing you the self-destruction of other planets in your galaxy, it is sufficient to add you to the list.’ This time I quoted the First McGee with better relevance, I hope.

In the case of the destruction of the universe, that’s where the First McGee seized the stage of history. We were on the threshold of making the same mistake as before. But she figured out how to stop the oscillations between existence and non-existence, a completely different existential crisis from RESET. She knew how to control the oscillations, and she used it to make us change. If it weren’t for her, Malu would have prevailed at the Battle of Least Mistakes and we would all be in slavery of one kind or another. Or worse, the RESET weapon would have ended everything, just like last time.

And yes, there are different forms of slavery. The most dominant forms are physical, economic, gender, and psychological. All forms are now strictly forbidden. It was on her initial list of demands.

Guess you’re wondering how this all happened.

The First McGee had what historians called ‘her moment of clarity’, that instant when she realized that she could blackmail the universe and bluff her way through it. Yes, blackmail and bluff. She used those exact words to describe it and said she was proud of it. Agree to her terms or spend the rest of eternity alone in a monochromatic existence without food, music, or toilets. Or arms or legs. Nothing but consciousness alone forever. Not even lips to whistle or fingers to tap. After a short time most of us would be as crazy as inbred royalty. You can trust me on this, I’m a historian. Truth is a way of life with us. And law. And license.

A monochromatic purgatory would be the fate for one quarter to one half of the universe unless we did exactly as McGee demanded. She discovered the cause of the oscillations. With this knowledge she stopped them. But she could turn them back on. That was her power. Poof, you’re gone. Poof, maybe I am too. Who gets sent to this nothingness? Nobody knows. It’s random. However it is controlled by the Improbable McGee so she gets a pass from an eternity of contemplating the blueness of it all.

So in the most improbable moment of history the First McGee stepped forward. She described it as suddenly ‘looking at a small crack in the ground and for an instant seeing all the way to China’. At other times she described it as realizing she could ‘knock all the balls into the pockets from a single shot’. It was the rarest of rare events. An improbable at an extinction event? Imagine the odds of that. One in a number we don’t even have a name for, but is slightly less than infinity and looks a lot like infinity if you don’t look close enough.

As a result, for the first time we know of, the universe experienced an extinction threshold event and survived. The RESET weapon was never used. The quantum experiment it was based upon was disassembled and components dumped into a black hole.

Previous iterations were not so lucky.

Previous iterations?

Yes. Previous iterations of the universe.

As measured by the Moliere Rings, the barely visible radiographic dust at the edge of the universe, we are not the first version of existence. I am required by law and license to always tell the truth. You can count on this.

We’re not the second, third or fourth iteration either. Not the tenth, fiftieth of even hundredth. No, we’re not even in the first thousand times the universe has existed. The concept of time dissolves when considered from a large enough vista as this. Just imagine the time between iterations of the universe, perhaps billions of years of nothingness before it starts again.

Officially, as calculated by the Physics Department and confirmed as true by the History Department, we are the longest lasting version of the universe thus far. We are also the 1,143rd version.

All the previous versions made the same mistake, the exact same mistake. Hence the Moliere Rings we can count. They used RESET. The First McGee stopped us by causing and controlling a different crisis, a crisis that says a lot about the very nature of our existence and none of it good. 

Think of it like this. You are flipping a coin again and again. You expect it to come out either heads or tails. Heads the good guys blow up the universe because they are losing and don’t want to become slaves. Or tails the bad guys do it because they are losing or maybe just for fun because that is what bad guys do. Either way, it’s turned out like that every time before. All 1,142 times that has been the outcome.

But this one time the First McGee got the coin to land on its edge. Highly improbable but still within the universe of possible outcomes. That gave her control of the outcome because she could completely screw up 25 to 50% of everything by sending it to monochromatic eternity. And with it she gained control of the universe or at least she told us she had control. And with control she demanded change.

Are you really willing to risk a monochromatic eternity?  Even if it’s purple? You don’t get to choose the color.

Yes, we changed. It was necessary to survive. And she gave us no choice. The oscillations between existence and non-existence were growing in size and she had the switch literally in the palm of her hand. That was the other emergency going on at the same time our leaders wanted to use RESET instead of accepting defeat and slavery.

In what became known as the First Three Principles, the universe was rebuilt upon a different foundation. Granted there were many more principles to follow. Once you start making rules it’s kind of hard to stop. But she started with three simple principles.

Abolition of all forms of slavery

Life is sacred

Immediate demilitarization

A short list. Sounds simple, doesn’t it?

It’s not.

Remember economic slavery? Debt is one form of economic slavery. Abolition of all debt. Not that simple is it? It caused much upheaval. Many people complained but many, many more were happy. Spontaneous parties erupted across the universe when people finally understood all debts were forgiven. Commerce temporarily came to a halt then restarted out of necessity. 

Life is sacred? Also not so simple. Forget the death penalty, war and abortion. You’re thinking too local. Let’s take it to a wider level. What am I talking about?

Out among the stars we’re all vegetarians. Seriously, I’m not kidding. If you think that is ridiculous let me point just a few possible outcomes.

For instance?

How would you like to find out that humans are particularly tasty in a nice white sauce? Perhaps it’s your legs that everyone loves. Perhaps it’s your butt cheeks flash fried before drenched in a wine sauce. Maybe you are perfect when sliced thin and put on a pizza. Imagine if your toes were a crunchy delicacy for another species. Earth would be a farm and you’d all be the livestock. Not my preferred outcome for anyone.

So rather than find out how tender and succulent we all are to each other, we take it out on defenseless plant life. The change to a plant only diet was immediate and brutal and involved all intelligent species. Planets in quarantine are exempt from the rules. Why bother, you’re not expected to survive anyway.

Many galaxies had a hard time with gastric distress at first. It was one of the catalysts for development of the Remedium, our portable health partner. Imagine perfect health from a machine that fits in the palm of your hand. All because the planet Driffor smelled horrible for almost one full year. I can confirm that the rumors that you could smell Driffor from space are false. This assumes the area beyond planetary atmosphere as space.

Eventually digestive systems recalibrated and livestock was set free. There were complaints, lots of them. But the First McGee promised to grind up the bodies of meat eaters and feed them to whatever animals they had eaten in violation of the ban. This quickly brought about compliance and many breakthroughs in laboratory grown animal substitutes. 

Prior to issuing the First Three Principles the First McGee was not a vegetarian. It was not easy on her either as she suffered acute gastric distress when she moved to a plant-based diet. As is often the case many ingest too much fiber during the transition period and as a result spend hours in the toilet.

Of the three Principles the easiest to understand and implement was demilitarization. Let’s face it, if you can blow up the planet a thousand times over, it is just a matter of time before a megalomaniac gets control of the weapons and lets them fly.

As someone who has studied your history via our on-ground visualization program I can point out seven times when planetary destruction was within one Earth hour of happening. Four times it was a technical error. Twice it was human error. The first time it was an unfortunate coffee spill. But human intervention was required each time to stop it from happening.

Weapons are some of the most closely tracked objects in the universe. We know where to find them to decommission them. First there was an immediate cease-fire. Then we formed a commission on decommissioning.

So if we’ve conquered our destructive demons, what’s left? Who runs everything?

In a word? Nobody.

The universe is not really run by anyone or any group. It’s much too diverse for that. We all simply operate on the Principles of McGee, Volume One.

However the cosmos is managed, although management might be too strong an idea. Think of it more as being nudged along in a general direction, like a child kicking a rock down the path, not sure exactly where it will go, but setting the direction. Again, in accordance with the Principles of McGee, Volume One.

That is the function of the University of Centrum Kath. We nudge. Other will tell you that the universe is run by the University of Centrum Kath. Most believe that we do. But none of them are required by law and license to always be truthful, like historians. A historian would never say that. We know better. In order to run the universe it would require a higher level of success than the university has achieved.

As for this history I am sharing with you, it is necessary to start in the past to understand how the Crisis on Earth Seven began. 

21.94563 years ago (Atomic Standard Time)

Allor and Roan walked down the trail high above the river. They planned to cross at the rope bridge approximately half a kilometer further along the trail. The two boys looked down the steep cliff into the river. The water was rushing down the gorge, frothing as it hit the many rocks in the river.

Buno is lying, said Roan. No chance he could survive a jump from up here.

I don’t know, replied Allor, maybe with the right combination of luck, said the handsome younger boy with the dark eyes and jet-black hair.

No way. Even if he missed the rocks when he entered the water, he would have been smashed against them and killed within seconds, said Roan emphatically. The shit from his ass comes out of his mouth.

You may be right, said Allor as he tossed a wooden stick down into the torrent below. It hit and was immediately sucked into a vortex just to pop up a moment later on a collision course with a sizable gray-pink boulder. It hit hard and broke against the massive stone.

I can volunteer next year, said Roan.

That’s great. What will you do? asked Allor with a sparkle in his eyes. He kicked a small stone over the edge of the trail watching it disappear as it fell into the river below.

Rope harvest and tending, probably. That’s where they start most of us.

But it’s outside, and fun, replied Allor.

Hot, sweaty work with long, sharp tools to cut down the giant plants. Then drag them to the wagon. I am beginning to wonder if this is a smart idea at all, replied Roan with a smile and in the voice of his grandfather as well as an affectation of the old man’s bent way of walking.

Its important work, replied Allor. If it’s not done, we can’t go to the Toggis plateau except by the long way. Imagine no more honey. Or flying fish?

I once ate flying fish fourteen days in a row when our family went on the hunt. My uncle sets up trading for the hunters, and we sent him everything we took from the herd.

You do the kill prayers?

Sure did, replied Roan. Even let me lead them sometimes. Imagine that, all those brave hunters gathered around the fire and the only ones they wanted to hear talk were the children. It was like they were sick from all the killing.

But how was the fish? asked Allor.

The softest most wonderful taste ever. And with the herbs from the coast, it becomes so sweet. Every night I went to the fish fire. The men cooking were friendly and happy to see me. They teased the men at the other fires because I would never go to any fire but theirs.

When they have the best, it makes sense, replied Allor.

They rounded the curve on the trail carved into the side of the mountain. Ahead, they could see the huge timbers and ropes of the bridge. The broad wood cantilevered out of the ground and nestled with others at their lashings that held them back from a steep fall into the river below. Roan smiled when he saw it. His father had helped rebuild this bridge two years ago.

Why didn’t they run them to the Toggis this year? Allor asked. He picked up a rock, tossing it up twice into the air to gauge the weight and feel before hurling it well past the bridge then arcing downwards into the river below.

You’re the only person I know that can do that, said Roan.

I know, replied the younger boy.

Allor had fallen out of a tree a year earlier. Once he healed from the accident, he discovered that he was able to throw stones remarkable distances. But only a few times before his shoulder would start hurting. Still, it was something he could do that no one else could, and this made the young boy happy as well as making him feel special.

He would daydream of a world where it was the most needed skill on the planet and vital to prevent a catastrophe from happening. Because of his ability and the numerous times he had saved the people of the Confederation, he was made king over all lands and peoples.

His daydream was destroyed a few weeks ago when Roan told him that the Confederation doesn’t permit kings. Allor was annoyed. He had to reimagine his entire dream story from the beginning again, this time as an emperor. But he didn’t share his thoughts with Roan.

If they run the herds into the Toggis again, it will be too much for the grasslands, said Roan. Two years is all it can support before we have to leave it to grow back for a year.

Noril coast is pretty, said Allor. Supposed to have flowers you can eat. And sweet too.

Yeah, can’t wait until I get to go hunting there, said Roan. 

They were about fifty meters from the bridge when they saw a brilliant light far off in the sky. It was unlike anything they had seen before, brighter than even the brightest star. Its brightness rivaled the sun and it was coming towards them.

Allor looked at his older friend. I’m scared, he said.

The cave over there, said Roan, pushing Allor towards the hand-cut cave meant for shelter from severe weather. As they scrambled to the cave, they heard a loud high-pitched screech getting closer and louder. As soon as they were inside, they turned around just in time to see a dazzling light flash by them heading along the ravine. Almost immediately there was a large explosion, and the ground shook under their feet. For a moment they were scared the cave would collapse when a few bits of rock fell to the ground. Then silence. No birds, no other animal sounds, no wind in the trees. Complete eerie silence.

They stayed in the cave for a long time before they summoned the courage to step outside. They moved with bodies that pushed out from the cave but with feet at the ready to take them back in an instant. Roan walked out the furthest and looked down the ravine and at the river. On the walls of the valley were cuts, substantial deep cuts, as if a giant had stumbled down the canyon drunk on Semu tea and had broken off boulders as it stumbled from side to side.

Roan pointed further down into the chasm.

Look there, he said. See the steam rising from the water, way down there?

Yeah, said Allor excitedly. I know how to get down there, he added.

The path down was long. It took almost an hour for them to reach the shore of the river below. The trail was seldom used as evidenced by the overgrowth of large weeds, bushes and fallen limbs. The sun was high in the sky and the boys were sweating when they finally stood on the bank looking in wonder at the river. In the water was a long, fat and round cylinder that was shiny and gray. At one end there was an orange glow like fire. This was the reason for the steam rising out of the river. They stood watching the water boil in a small circle surrounding the tube.

Allor was the first to see it. He pointed to the large group of fallen rocks. There were a few trees that were also pulled out of the ground and blended in with the collapsed rocks.

Let’s go, said Roan. 

I’m hungry, said Allor. I need to eat first.

Allor had been sickly for most of his early life. It was only after his mother met a woman who studied food that Allor’s health began to improve. Key to his improvement were small meals every few hours and less bread.

The two boys sat on the rocks in front of the crash site and quickly ate their food.

I bet it’s a falling star, said Roan.

What else could it be? replied Allor.

But what, what if it’s... said Roan, hesitating, as if mentioning something horrible and evil, ...what if it’s Ceros whose come back, he finished with a forced laugh. Allor started laughing too.

Here you might want to know a bit about the Cult of Ceros. They believed that one day their prophet Ceros would return. He was last seen about 500 years ago when he traveled the land telling everyone who would listen that it would be really nice if they could all be really nice to one another. His message was simple. Don’t be a dick! This is not an uncommon message across sentient history, even your history on Earth Five.

Because of his message of kindness, many hated Ceros. Some people take comfort in being disagreeable, their mouths pre-formed for the word ‘no,’ and their minds pre-set to the position of ‘against.’ It seemed apparent that those that hated Ceros were dicks, dicks that refused to change.

But many adored him for it and became his followers. They found some kind of sense in it. If nothing else they understood that there was greater efficiency of accomplishment without constant barriers from sourpusses. In his time, Ceros helped many people become better than they thought they could be. And plenty of satellite surveillance of him indicates he was indeed a delightful person. I’ve watched it myself as part of my coursework at the university. Ceros was a gentle man that traveled with a cat. But as a cat, not as a pet. He’d often speak of the wrongness of having pets. Species slavery he called it. His relationship was more like an acquaintance that he fed twice a day and shared his life and travels with. And that fit the cat’s expectations perfectly.

But as time does so often, a good idea morphs from A into B and if left to its own devices continues until things arrives at Z, a destination at the opposite end of the spectrum. This happened to the followers of Ceros. Over the years they had evolved into the most ill-tempered, intolerant group of people on the planet. From a message of ‘be nice,’ they had added ‘to our own.’

The followers of Ceros were known far and wide on Earth Seven for their meanness. Instead of being really nice to everyone, they were only kind to other followers of Ceros, and even that wasn’t very often. To everyone else they were assholes. This resulted in them being extraordinarily grumpy and unhappy most of the time. They would even tell you just how miserable they were. And tell you, and tell you. But don’t suggest they change their ways...no, that will just make them very angry and then they will become violent.

And they had good reason to be grumpy most of the time. What had started as a revolution of behavior had been taken over by opportunists bent by power. When the followers of Ceros reached one million, a group of priests with a very strict viewpoint on things overthrew the Council of Love set up by Ceros himself. In its place, they became the Responsible Central Committee. They were responsible for all successes. Failures were theirs only in that they assigned responsibility for the failure. To no one’s surprise it never was their fault. They were the ones that created the religious police, the most unpopular organization on the entire planet.

The followers of Ceros became a people living in a state of perpetual fear and torment because the religious police force would harass them endlessly in public, demanding acts of devotion and most importantly submission to their authority. Even the slightest hesitation in displaying respect would result in a beating and prison.

The police roamed the two most significant public squares in groups of five. Often they would sit drinking free coffee at a table outside a café, scanning the people walking past to decide whom they would help next. Yes, help. They believed that forcing the population to live within the tight rules of behavior as dictated by them was the highest form of worshipping Ceros. And they quite liked being the boss too.

They would approach the unsuspecting and demand immediate prayers from them and a tithing. ‘Kneel and prove your devotion to Ceros and the High Priest,’ they would command in an authoritative tone, their hands on their swords hinting at other possible outcomes. Then, when the faithful were on their knees, the police would require tithing. First, they make you kneel; then they fleece you. It’s an ancient and successful model, I’m sure you can find it on your planet. It’s significant in the final stages of primitivism.

People learn through repetition, and the Ceros did learn. As a result, they rarely left home with anything of significant value or importance, lest the cops confiscate it. No rings, no medallions, even though medallions were quite popular on the planet, not even a toe ring or even a shiny metal fastener on sandals, none of it. This also meant they never had any money in their pockets except for five of the lowest-value coins, the Ceros Dupon. Having nothing to tithe was considered blasphemy. Less than five would result in a ‘cheapskate’ beating. Five was usually the minimum acceptable, depending on the amount of dust in the air and the mood of the five men with swords and clubs.

All of this made the followers of Ceros very stingy. They would try to get everything for free when they were out and about. In fact, a Ceros restaurant is one of the few places where you have to prove you can pay before you order.

But misery didn’t stop with the roving bands of thieves, grumpy cheapskates, or untrusting restaurants. No, no, worst of all the followers of Ceros were slave owners.

Ceros never owned a slave. In fact, he spoke forcefully against it. But that part of his teachings was ignored in favor of the parts everyone liked more. This is another old and successful model. So, instead of following Ceros and renouncing slavery, one of the most horrible practices imaginable, they embraced it like a Human Pig Smerker snorting Kuewlu dust off the dorsal fin of a Merchita.

They bought slaves at raucous public auctions after raids against other territories. Thousands enthusiastically attended the most repulsive act of commerce imaginable, whether they were in the market for a slave or not. It was considered a fun time and an important social event.

You’re probably thinking these people are terrible, and you are right. As a point of fairness, what should be their fate? Mathematically the solution is simple: the slave owner becomes the slave to the former slave for an identical period of time. Professor Winston Bello Crimen published a paper on this topic a long time ago in Mathematics In Situ, the academic magazine that publishes articles to read while going to the bathroom. 

The followers of the Cult of Ceros were eagerly looking forward to the return of Ceros, even though Ceros never said he would return. But the council of Nico, 72 years after his death, decided that he would return because he was divine. The divinity of Ceros was determined by a vote among the priests.  62% in favor, 31% against, and 7% couldn’t make up their bloody minds. Immediately after the majority won, the 31% were purged from the priesthood as blasphemers, hunted and executed. This helped the undecided 7% to decide that they were very much in favor of the return of Ceros and even his divinity. The people wanted his return too, even more so than the priests. Ceros would put an end to those damned religious police once and for all. So they waited, then they waited some more.

However they really wanted to talk to him about being allowed to retain their slaves. After all they did pay for them. Fortunately we know what a mathematician would suggest is fair so let’s get back to the story.

The boys laughed a long time and started singing No You Can’t, a song taught to children in the Confederation. It mocked the Ceros.

Momma, can I have my dinner? said Allor.

No you can’t, boy, no you can’t, sang Roan in reply.

Momma, can I go to bed?

No you can’t, boy, no you can’t, sang Roan.

My water?

No.

My fish?

No.

My favorite dish?

No you can’t, sang Roan in reply.

They sang and ate in an age-appropriate manner—that is to say, they made a mess and sang off key.

After eating, they began to explore the site. Something had hit the side of the ravine and buried itself deep in the rock wall. Roan climbed onto the fallen rocks. He clambered to the uppermost point where they met the undisturbed cliff face.

I think I can see it in there, he said. It’s like there is a candle way down in there burning.

Maybe I can fit, said Allor and he crawled up the stones burrowing his way between the large boulders. But he came upon a series of smaller yet impassable rocks that blocked his path.

Let’s keep looking, said Roan. 

Help me, said Allor, with his shoulder against a big stone one that was taller than him but had precariously fallen to where it could just be shoved down out of the way with just a little more force than Allor could summon. With Roan’s help, it spiraled down from its perch and settled at the edge of the river. Upstream the boiling of the waters continued but it had slowed into spurts. The orange light under the water was flashing now.

The boys spent several hours trying to figure how to move the shattered rocks in their way. But each time they met an immovable object. Finally, with the sun casting shadows high on the far wall of the gap, they stopped looking for a way in.

A good night’s sleep tonight, said Roan as he rinsed his hands at the water’s edge.

Yes, that’s what we need, said Allor. I’m coming back tomorrow, he added.

Wait for me to finish my chores, OK? asked Roan.

OK, replied Allor.

They followed the path of the water. When they got to the boiling portion, they stopped.

Wonder what it is? Why does it boil water? asked Allor.

I don’t know. But tomorrow I am bringing some rope. I will swim down and attach the rope, then we can pull it up and examine it, replied Roan.

Excellent. I will bring some of my father’s tools. They might be useful.

Good, replied Roan.

Allor picked up a rock and let it fly. After a few seconds, it disappeared. He was bending over and picking his next rock, as he straightened, he noticed it. Why is there a hole in the cliff face over there? pointing to the rock face in line with the boiling water. It was round and very precisely so.

I don’t know. Maybe that thing made it, Roan replied, pointing to the glowing tube.

But where does it go? asked Allor.

I don’t know, said Roan.

Then Allor did what many kids would do. He picked up a rock and threw it at the precisely round hole in the cliff side. The flat stone with the rounded edges disappeared inside of the hole but continued making noise bouncing side to side in the tunnel within the cliff. A moment later they heard a loud clanging sound coming from behind the rocks that the boys had just spent hours trying to move.

They shared a look of wild excitement and ran towards the hole as fast as possible. It was large enough for them to fit inside, single file and crawling on their stomachs. Gone were concerns about the time of day, parents that might worry about them, schoolwork waiting for them, and evening chores. It was a mystery, and they were children.

Roan entered the hole first. After the first few meters, it became dark as the hole now curved through the stone. They continued to crawl further into the darkness until finally, near the end they saw the first glow of light. They couldn’t crawl fast enough.

Roan and Allor didn’t go home that night. They spent the entire night and most of the next day exploring and examining the contents of the spaceship. Their efforts were made difficult by the terrible smell inside the craft.

When the spaceship had entered the atmosphere of Earth Seven a failed gyroscopic compensator had caused the ship to spin at more than ten thousand revolutions per minute. Under these circumstances all life inside of the ship had perished and been reduced to a red and gray goo pinned against the interior hull of the ship. The boys could only stand the smell for a few minutes before they needed fresh air.

They finally left for home late the next day after bathing in the cold river. The two boys had made one of the most important discoveries in the history of Earth Seven.

That is how this history started a long time ago. Let me tell you about recent history. You may find these events more interesting. They were certainly more dangerous.

CHAPTER TWO

Recent Events

A

llor was sitting on the steps of a Ceros main temple. He was still shielded and no one could see him. He sat at one of the high corners of the smooth stone steps leading up to the temple. He would leave soon and move away. The patrols near the temple were always more numerous than in other parts of the city. Allor tapped his sandals against the stone steps then put them back on his feet.

He walked away from the temple and towards The Grand Platz Lesser, the smallest of the three largest squares in the capital city of Pyramos. It was the major trading square and formed the center of the labyrinth of warrens and alleys that made up the souks of the capital city. As long as the police got their 12 Dupon entry fee, they stayed out of the Lesser.

It served as the medieval supermarket for the Ceros. Thousands of people would carefully navigate through the back streets to the main entrance, avoiding the patrols, avoiding the tithing. Once inside their only risk was to the things they purchased and most of the men in the patrol groups didn’t want to carry around a bag of flour till the end of their shift. But this also made the time immediately preceding a shift change the wrong time to exit the Lesser with your purchases as they were sure to be confiscated.

Allor walked around the entrance tables. He reached down and took a handful of dupon coins from the entrance fee urn. The man in the uniform next to it never saw him. He walked for a few minutes until he reached the center of the square. During the busy commercial hours the Lesser and surrounding souks had a population of roughly 200,000. Allor put his hand to the left breast of the dark gray form-fitting suit that covered him from his neck down to his sandals. The insignia on the uniform acted like a knob. Allor turned it slightly to the left to reduce the field for his Personal Protection Suite (PPS) to the minimum setting, skin level. Then he flipped over the medallion around his neck and touched the polished blue metal side twice.

There was a scream and yelling from people around him who could suddenly see him. Out of nowhere he had come and now he stood there, in his long black robe with hood.

Don’t be afraid. I come to heal you, he said in a loud yet friendly voice as he pulled back the hood of his robe. I mean you no harm. A young man ran away a look of terror on his face.

Wait, you’re him, aren’t you? asked a man who stopped in front of him.

I am no one, replied Allor, just a humble healer.

You cured my nephew’s club foot. And his spots on his face, replied the man.

Agis, yes, I was able to help him. How is he?

He is fine. He will be married soon.

Please give him my congratulations. Is there anything I can do to help you? Allor asked.

No. My health is perfect, replied the man with pride.

Then would you permit my machine to confirm your excellent health? It is temperamental and needs to run against a known healthy person to check and make sure it is still working properly Allor lied.

The man stepped forward. Of course, waste your time. But it will be perfect, I assure you. Go ahead, use me to fix your machine.

Allor turned on the handheld device not much larger than his hand. He ran it slowly up and down the body of the tall man with a salt-and-pepper beard. It corrected a weak heart valve, a scar in the left lung, and bunions on his feet as Allor scanned the man. When he had finished and the rescan was showing all green for his entire body, Allor stood up showed the green screen to the man and smiled.

It’s true. My machine confirms it. Your health is perfect, as you said. A man with self-control lives a long life, my friend.

I told you, said the man. But thank you for helping Agis. Don’t let me waste any more of your time proving what is already known. Then the man turned to the crowd that was forming. He spoke in a loud voice. I testify that this healer is a true healer. He has healed those close to me. Bring him your sickness, bring him your trust. He turned back to Allor.

I am Gbano, and I thank you again, said the man. He shook hands with Allor then walked away into the crowd.

An old woman with light-colored hair came forward with a young boy at her side.

Help the boy, she said in a tone more a demand than a request.

What is your name? Allor asked the boy, smiling at him. The boy looked at him but didn't respond.

He can’t talk, can’t hear neither. And that ain’t all. He get shakes and makes a mess of himself sometimes, like he’s got a devil inside of him, twisting him up, said the woman.

Allor watched the small screen on his machine as it showed epilepsy for a brief moment before it faded and changed to a green clean scan. A couple of seconds later the boy’s hearing had been corrected, as well as a tear to his large intestine and a scalp disorder that caused most of his hair to fall out.

The boy pulled away from Allor when his hearing was restored.

It’s OK he said to the boy in a soft tone. Don’t be scared.

The boy was scared and trembling. He relaxed a little when someone began playing a flute off in the distance. He looked for the source of the sound but it was blocked by the crowd.

Thank you, said the woman when he was finished. She moved forward and extended her hand containing three coins.

You don’t need to pay me Allor said with a smile.

But you need money to live the woman replied.

I steal what I need Allor replied with a grin.

The woman did a most unCeros thing. She laughed. Sure you do she said in disbelief. In truth, theft had made Allor one of the richest people on Earth Seven.

The Ceros will never offer money twice and she put the coins into the pocket of her robe.

She turned to leave with the boy.

You will need to teach him language, Allor said to her.

The boy made sounds centered mostly around the letters M and S with an occasional B.

Let me check your health before you go, Allor said to the woman, her long hair down to her waist.

Don’t bother with me. I’ve had a good life. Help the children, she replied. She put her hand on the young boy’s shoulder and led him away. Thank you, she called back to Allor. 

This was the fifth healing for Allor. The first time ended in a riot. Now he appeared and healed until the crowd reached several hundred. When it reached thousands, it got unruly, and people got hurt fighting to reach him. Before that he would use his shielding device and disappear.

But Allor had a plan. Healing on the edge of the cities, all day. The main roads into the city would provide a steady stream of travelers instead of the overwhelming crowds of the Lesser. His sister Canto using the other healing machine beside him. Together they could cure a thousand people in a day.

A man stepped forward with a woman beside him. He was large and seemed very fit. The woman avoided looking at Allor. She was young, and her guilt was written in large letters. Allor turned the knob on his uniform.

His motion had finished less than a second before the large man spoke to him in a loud voice.

Death to Allor, said the man as he opened his cloak to reveal a sword in one hand and a short curved knife in the other hand.

Allor didn’t try to get out of his way. Instead he smiled at the man.

Again? Koven said in a disappointed tone. The last time he did a healing another Ceros assassin had tried to kill him.  

The man looked at him angrily. Die blasphemer, yelled the man.

When the man thrust his sword forward to impale Allor, it hit a barrier. Not one he could see, but still one that broke the end of his sword. The large man swung his knife towards Allor. It too struck the invisible barrier and broke. The barrier was about a meter out from Allor. 

The woman reached under her clothing and took out a glass bottle containing a clear liquid. She threw it at Allor’s face. It broke into numerous pieces at arm’s length from Allor, and the liquid revealed the soft curvature of the protective perimeter. It burned, bubbled, and hissed as it rolled down the invisible shell around him.

You are of the devil, the man yelled at Allor.

You are of the devil, Allor repeated, mimicking the man. He was annoyed that healing was being interrupted. No, I’m closer to your beloved Ceros than you will ever be. He said to be nice to one another. Did you forget that?

No. Heathens are to be killed so that only the good people of Ceros live on Earth. Then we will be nice to one another, replied the man angrily, his words spit out like hate filled bullets.

That’s just being lazy replied Allor.

The large man swung the remains of his broken sword down on the top of protective barrier. It hit very hard, but bounced back harder, and flew from his hands. The falling sword hit the woman. It cut deep into the top of her left leg as it fell. She screamed and fell to the ground in pain as her blood began to pump from the wound with the rhythm of a severed artery.

Get out of my way, said Allor as he moved towards the woman. The man scrambled backwards away from Allor and ran off into the crowd. Allor turned the dial on his uniform breast insignia very quickly, turning it left, then an instant later stepping forward to the woman, then turning it back to the right quickly. The healing device was in his hand.

Don’t take my soul, she said to Allor with a look of terror on her face.

I’ll only take your wounds. Be still, he said. He moved the medical device over her leg. People watched in astonishment as the blood stopped shooting out of the wound then a moment later the wound closed. Within seconds it was done. The woman still weak tried to squirm backwards away from Allor.

Be still. I’m not finished with you yet, Allor said with a smile.

But I’m finished with you, devil, she said, and tried to crawl backwards away from him. He grabbed her by the legs.

Do you want to die from the cough? Allor asked her.

How did you know? she asked him.

Allor turned his device for her to see. I heard you cough when you first arrived. See this word? It means death if you don’t let me use my machine to heal you.

On the machine display were ancient words that only Allor, Dubitam and MinKey knew the meaning of. Some words are horrible, and in a world of good would never be necessary. Cancer is one of those words.

We all die, she said, still scared of him. What price do you want, devil?

But you will die before you give birth to your replacement in your belly. That is my price, she lives.

Why do you care? asked the woman, looking down at Allor, who was scanning her feet. She looked at him hard, a hardness towards a trickster.

Because I like a bargain, Allor replied, pointing at her stomach and smiling.

I know you lie, said the woman with a mean tone as before, but with just a glimmer of hope in her eyes now.

Do what you can to help others like I help you. Give them food. Shelter. Water. And ask them to do the same.

Why should I? she asked.

To pay me back.

But I pay you nothing, she insisted.

Yes, you do. For a moment, you will be different.

That is nothing, she retorted.

It could be everything, perhaps the only thing that matters Allor replied.

He finished and then stood up in front of the woman. He helped the woman to her feet.

"I do not believe you