Chips, Sporting and Otherwise in Verse and Prose

Chips:

Sporting & Otherwise.

A FORWARD CAST.

A LITTLE more inaction, and again the joyous sound

Of heart-reviving holloa—of trusty note of hound—

Of cheery horn—of cracking briar—will drive our cares away,

As we rattle through the underwood the cubs at break of day.

And yet a little longer while—and glad November brings

With it the true commencement of the glorious sport of kings;

The sport I’ve longed and waited for since last I trotted back,

In the dust of scentless April, from the blood-deserving pack.

’Though older I feel younger, as day by day glides by,

And summer’s blue departeth for winter’s leaden sky;

Wrinkles will quit my forehead, care to bliss yield up its place,

When again the woods re-echo with the music of the chase.

THE FARMER’S CUP.

IT was market-day at Ridengton, and the bar-parlour at the Golden Lion was as inconveniently crowded as is customary upon that auspicious weekly occasion. Through the hazy, smoky atmosphere, in which it was enveloped, several largely-printed yellow-tinted programmes might have been discerned suspended from the walls, indicative of the coming ’chases; and in one corner of the room a little group of sportsmen might have been seen—as they would most certainly have been heard—discussing the said forthcoming events generally, and the Farmer’s Cup in particular. An awkward, yet comely-looking hobble dehoy announced As he wouldn’t run ’is ’oss, lest he should lame him afore the Yeomanry training, whilst a stalwart farmer, of rubicund visage, and who could reckon some forty summers, declared, As he’d like to ride as he was, but times weren’t good enough for such as he to buy no racing togs! Others said, What’s the use of running our horses against such as Bill Hicks, the dealer, and Harry Makesafe have got? and with apparent reason, as for the last few years one or other of these celebrities (as arranged) had invariably pocketed the prizes offered at the local meetings for the Farmer’s Competition, although their farms were to them, it is scarcely necessary to add, of very secondary consideration financially.

Whether it was owing to the strength of mine Host’s whiskey, or otherwise, I will not venture to assert, but certain it is that an usually silent old gentleman, plentifully enveloped, as to the neck, in a blue bird’s-eye choker, who had hitherto puffed steadily at his pipe almost unobserved, now vigorously thumped the table, and with a very expressive substitute for an actual oath, thus addressed the company present:

Blarm me if I aint ashamed on yer all, after the old Squire has been and given you a Cup and Fifty Sovereigns to run for; and the entrance fee be next to nout. There’s new conditions, he continued, and it aint no such certainty for they schemers as you mention. Blarmed if my old mare wouldn’t as likely pass the post first as any of their galloping fal-de-lals!

Run her, then, Master Jenkins, was the prompt and tittering rejoinder to the above expression of feeling from more than one quarter; and, somewhat nettled by their ridicule, the fine old Yeoman’s response came no less readily in the words, I will!—words which he had uttered with but little more solemnity regarding his better half, now some five-and-twenty years ago, and which he had always acted up to since.

Host Bull soon noted down Mr. Jenkins’ black mare, Otherdays, amongst the entries, and sundry little jokes as to the name being appropriate, and so forth, were pretty freely bandied about; and then, as the old cuckoo clock told its tale, the company one by one dispersed as the evening wore away. Respecting it, we need only further add that Mr. J.’s good lady upbraided him pretty freely upon his late return from market, and, we regret to say, called him an old fool, when she heard of his having entered the mare; nay, worse, when he added with a slight hiccup that he would ride her hisself, the good dame actually laughed outright, and with a not ill-natured shove literally bundled the spare old figure, who did duty for her lord and master, off to bed.

Now the said John Jenkins would not see his sixtieth birthday again, and was, moreover, a comparatively new resident in Clayshire, having until recently occupied a larger grazing farm in the Midlands from almost his boyhood, where he had gained in former years a reputation with the Scentoview Hounds second to none.

But times had been bad, and grey hairs had taken the place of black, so, upon his retirement to Clayshire, it is hardly to be wondered that scarcely a shadow of his former fame as a horseman had followed him. But he brought the old mare with him, notwithstanding (she whom he had ridden for nine seasons), if not the reputation which both had so deservedly earned in the earlier of them, for showing the way through many a brilliant run.

Time slipped away—as it has an unpleasant way of doing now-a-days—and when the day of the Hunt Steeplechases arrived, the names of only three runners appeared upon the c’rect cards for The Farmer’s Cup,—the white feather, in the shape of half forfeit, having been displayed by as many more.

Thus might folks have read:

Mr. Hicks’ b. g., Shooting Star, by Starlight,—Moonshine, 5 years. Pink, blue cap (Mr. Leatherem).

Mr. Makesafe’s ch. g., Express, by Irish Mail,—Telephone, 4 years. Violet, white hoops (Mr. C. Makesafe).

Mr. Jenkins’ blk. m., Otherdays, (Ped. unknown) aged. Blue, black cap (owner).

It was the first race of the day, and I shall never forget the chorus of vulgar laughter that went up from the ring as old Jenkins took his preliminary on his somewhat groggy old mare, alongside the two sleek thorough-breds, with whom he had elected to compete; yet the old fellow sat like a workman, notwithstanding, and if the mare didn’t look quite racing form, she was all over a hunter.

I hope the dear old man won’t get hurt; How silly of him to ride; and such kindly-meant remarks, uttered by the fairer of the spectators were, however, soon unceremoniously drowned in the hoarse cry of They’re off, which, in turn, even temporarily silenced the constant yells of 20 to 1, bar a couple, and Any price one of these runners, emitted from the unmusical throttles of the knights of the ring. How they did gallop away from him—those two well-trained blood ones—it really seemed Lombard Street to a China Orange against the old fellow, until the first six-foot ditch towards them was reached, where both the leaders, after sundry tries and refusals, had to await his pilotage, amidst much laughter and a good deal of cheering; then, being bent on the pot, and not wishing further to expose their nags, they waited on the old man, who led them once more past the stand, and to within two fences from home, at a merely good hunting pace. It was a ridiculously slowly-run race, but, nevertheless, the finish was exciting enough as it transpired.

How well and gamely the old mare was jumping! but hulloa! What’s up? round she whips at that last fence but one—her bad example being naturally followed, though in a less amenable degree, by the two shifty thorough-breds; but old Jenks is all there now, and has her round and over it in a jiffy, before even his opponents can get a pull at their raking and unruly steeds, and didn’t the old fellow then put on the steam, and, having safely negotiated the last obstacle, set to to ride up the straight like a veritable Archer. Yet, although he was finishing all the way, he had not much in hand at last, for he only just got home half-a-head in front of the speedy son of Starlight, who alone of the other competitors could be induced to bungle over the last two obstacles at all, and, when too late.

I fancy I can hear the ringing cheers which greeted the victor now.

Mrs. Jenkins had a silk dress out of the stakes, in which she set the other farmers dames a-longing for many a Sunday; and the massive silver cup still graces the old oak sideboard at the farm, where—if you call, as I did recently—Mr. J. will ask you to drink Otherdays out of it in some nut brown, home-brewed ale, and add, with a twinkle in his keen grey eyes, She never refused but once.

PRECIOUS MOMENTS.

HAVE you ever heard the patter of a well-bred hunter’s feet,

With rapid strides the sodden turf, when well-extended, beat?

Have you felt the tug he gives you at his bridle to get on

To the other side those willows, where the dripping pack has gone?

Have you felt your pulse beat quicker, as those fifteen feet drew near:

Fifteen feet of running water, icy cold, not crystal clear?

Have you felt your muscles squeeze him as his sides you lightly press?

Have you seen his ears prick forward as the interval grows less?

Have you felt the bound that follows—felt the rapid flight through air,

Heard the welcome thud on landing, with a little bit to spare?

Have you felt the effort over as you ease him in his stride,

That such moments can’t be valued; that it’s ecstacy to ride

Such a horse as this one, comrade? ’tis a joy none can surpass,

With a streaming pack before you, and beneath you green, green grass.

I have felt such priceless moments, live them now almost again,

Seem to feel my chair the saddle, and my pen the foam-fleck’d rein.

Would that life was fuller of them, for I rank a time like this

Second only (if it is so!) to a lovely woman’s kiss;

And the consequences after, if your horse is sound next day,

Aren’t disastrous, whilst the sequel to the latter who shall say?

Ride whilst nerve and pocket last you—Hunting is the sport of kings,

King of sports I always deemed it—pleasure unalloyed it brings;

Ride with pluck, but with discretion; ride, remembering "your steed

Is the vessel—you the pilot to direct both course and speed."

Hounds the beacon are to steer by; eye, decision, hands and nerve,

Jointly use to keep them near you—such alone the end will serve;

Then returning, the day over (P’raps at last reduced to ten,

Was the gaudy field which mustered fully twice one hundred men!)

If you were of those survivors when whoo-hoop the keen air rent,

Then returning home, be thankful, for your day has been well spent;

Joys like these are not so fleeting as some prosy people say;

Nerve and pocket both may fail us—health, alas! may too give way.

But whatever be the future—wheresoe’er our lots be cast,

Nothing has the power to rob us of the brightness of the past.

TIT FOR TAT.

OLD Brigs had not climbed to the top of the tree in his profession without having learnt a good deal from the experiences he had gained whilst doing so, and if in his younger days he occasionally bought dear, he assuredly in his latter ones did not sell cheap. He was one of the leading horse-dealers in Great Britain at the time I write of, and was not much less widely known across the Channel, where many a third man kept his eyes open on his behalf and for his commission. He was a clever old fellow, and could sum up a customer in as many seconds as it would have taken the latter years to fathom him. When a purse-proud snob came into his yard, he would weave into his conversation such a string of titled purchasers, and quote such figures, as would veritably have made even the shades of Burke and of Colenso shudder, and if he didn’t plant him with a very indifferent horse at a very considerable cost later on it was a wonder, and assuredly not the fault of the dealer. If a retiring individual of less substance wanted an animal, having mentally booked his outside price at £100, Mr. Brigs would commence operations by showing him a really nice horse or two at double or treble that figure; and by this time the would-be purchaser would have usually so awakened to a sense of his own littleness as to literally jump at a slight whistler at three figures or so, which the owner would make him feel he was conferring a favour upon him by selling. The customers he liked least were those who knew what a horse was, and wanted their money’s worth; for such usually bucketed his fat brutes about pretty considerably, and not unfrequently left without buying after all, because they could not get it.

Yet it was the fashion to buy from Brigs, and if sensible men kept away, and poor ones necessarily sought some cheaper market,