The Lie
By C.L. Taylor
3.5/5
()
About this ebook
Would you trust your friends with your life?
Haunting and compelling, this psychological thriller is perfect for fans of Gone Girl, Girl on the Train, and Daughter.
Jane Hughes has a great boyfriend, a job in an animal shelter, and a tiny cottage in rural Wales. She's happier than she's ever been…but her life is a lie. Jane Hughes does not really exist.
Five years earlier, Jane and her best friends set off on what was supposed to be the trip of a lifetime, but it rapidly descended into a nightmare that claimed the lives of two of her friends. Ever since, Jane has tried to put the past behind her and lead a normal life. But someone out there knows the truth about what happened—and they won't stop until they've destroyed Jane and everything she loves.
C.L. Taylor
C.L. Taylor is a Sunday Times bestselling author. Her psychological thrillers have sold over a million copies in the UK alone, been translated into over twenty languages, and optioned for television. Her 2019 novel, Sleep, was a Richard and Judy pick. C.L. Taylor lives in Bristol with her partner and son.
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Reviews for The Lie
56 ratings10 reviews
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Present day and Jane Hughes is happy working in an animal sanctuary and living in Wales. She has a new boyfriend and things are going well until she starts to get unsettling messages. Five years ago four friends, Emma, Al, Leanne and Daisy go on a holiday to Nepal and stay at an isolated retreat. The holiday of a life time becomes the holiday from Hell.The premise of this book sounded really good and the story did draw me in. Told in past and present the reader follows Emma and Jane as their stories unfold. For the majority of the book I was totally engrossed and enjoyed it.Both timelines did have a sense of dread and not knowing what was going to happen next. I found myself ploughing through the book very quickly as I wanted to know what was going on. The past sections especially I enjoyed as I think I can say the retreat was like a cult which I always find interesting.The actual friendship between the four girls does ask the question to how strong it really was. With the envy and competition between the girls it did add something to the story.For me however I felt the big reveal let the story down. I was expecting a big twist and it didn't really happen. The whys and hows did make sense and didn't spoil but just didn't have the wow.I enjoyed the book overall and would recommend and read more by the author.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Another reading group book crashes and burns. I disliked the characters from the beginning and after the first chapter in Nepal I skim read those sections. I found the present day sections more readable but this was a really boring book which I couldn't wait to finish.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Loved this - a thriller in every sense of the word.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Lie, by C. L. Taylor was a book I knew nothing about and it was not on my radar until I stumbled across a fabulous review of it on Goodreads. UK Authors are quickly becoming my newest obsession as they write some of the best psychological thrillers on the market today! This one sounded like something I would absolutely get sucked into so I knew I just had to read it, I was thrilled when I discovered it was still available on NetGalley :)
I promptly dove into The Lie and within a few pages I was completely hooked. I loved Jane/Emma and I loved the dual time lines, it was done very well here and was easy to follow along with. So much of this story is believable, what these girls went through was crazy and creepy but it’s also something that has you thinking, “this could actually happen”, and that made it all the more sickening and scary. There was one small part in the story where I thought the reactions of some characters to a specific ordeal our main protagonist goes through was slightly unrealistic. This was the ONLY reason I gave a 4 star review. I totally dig bizarre, over-the-top stories and can find extreme behaviors completely believable within a story as long as it’s plausible within the storyline and characters that the author has created. That didn’t happen here for me unfortunately, it just didn’t work.
Don’t get me wrong though cause I loved this book and devoured it in just over a day! I was on the edge of my seat as both timelines raced towards their climactic finish. I had so many theories of who was coming after Jane in her current timeline and was super happy to discover that I hadn’t figured it all out in the end. I had NO idea how the timeline from 5 years ago would end, I couldn’t figure out how they were going to get down that mountain or what would happen to get them to that point. I read at a fevered pace; sweating, heavy breathing, digging my nails into my palm…… all the signs that I was reading an incredible psychological thriller! I would highly recommend this book to anyone who loves thrillers, especially ones a little on the darker side. I would also venture so far as to say this would be an awesome Book Club read; there are some thoroughly toxic friendships here that would be a lot of fun to discuss.
I received a complimentary, advanced copy of this book from the author, HarperCollins and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The story alternates between past and present as Jane Hughes, who was Emma Woolfe five years ago until a holiday went terribly terribly wrong and not everyone made it home. Now someone is stalking her and it's upsetting her new life. She has to face up to the past to have a future.
Entertaining but the ending felt a bit rushed. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Lie – Brilliant Psychological Thriller
The Lie is the second book from Cally Taylor who debuted with The Accident in 2014 which was a wonderful debut. If Cally was a musician who had an excellent debut album we would be talking about the difficult second album but fortunately for us she is a writer who gets even better with her second book. The Lie is an absolutely brilliant thriller that keeps you guessing all the way to the end, with plenty of twists that keeps you guessing. The telling of the story from 2 aspects again appears in this thriller and is a fantastic device. I do feel sorry for Cally Taylor’s child, when he asks for a bed time story from mummy it must scare the living delights out of him!
Emma, Daisy, Leanne and Al became friends at University up in Newcastle and even when they all relocated down to London after graduation they remained close. They are all stuck in jobs that they do not enjoy and seem to be stuck going nowhere even in their relationships with others. To blast the cobwebs away from their lives they decided to go on the holiday of a lifetime to Nepal to a retreat, Ekanta yatra, Leanne organised the trip for them all. Four of them leave for the holiday of a life time but there are only two who return as the others were dead.
Five year later the two survivors are no longer in contact with each other, Emma angry that Al sold their story to a newspaper, both moved away from London. Emma has reinvented herself as Jane Hughes, who works at an animal sanctuary in Wales called Green Fields. Since getting back from Nepal Emma has tried to move on from what happened and that her two friends died there. She is in a new relationship and maybe something is going well for her for a change.
Emma receives a letter and a couple of emails that shakes her to the core telling her that Daisy is alive and it is her that should be dead. Facebook messages and text messages also start arriving that shakes her up, along with a new volunteer at Green Fields who seems far too interested in her. It is when she is a victim of a hit and run accident that things start to turn serious and she is advised that she could be in danger as the police investigate. It is when Green Fields is set alight that she finally has to face the demons of her past and can she save the innocent victims the animals while protecting her own life?
The Lie is a downright dark and very twisted psychological thriller that is a compelling rollercoaster of a read especially as the tension builds to a crescendo finale when we finally receive the answers to the questions posed throughout the book. With the multiple twists in the examination of friendships and cults you really do enter a dark and very creepy world. The characters are well developed well written and the story really does grip you by the throat and not let you go until the end. I certainly would not want to get on the wrong side of Cally Taylor because The Lie is an example of her thinking she has a seriously twisted mind that would make her revenge a very painful cold dish being served.
The Lie is a dark twisted totally creepy psychological thriller that will have you gripped from the beginning to the end. Who knew friendships could be as dangerous as those in The Lie after reading this I shall be reassessing my friendships for sure. A fantastic read that will raise Cally Taylor’s reputation as a writer even higher. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5"Your past doesn't have to define your future, not if you won't let it" is one of the messages in The Lie. Told in the first-person perspective of Jane/Emma, the story alternates fluently between the present and the past. 5 Years ago, Jane was known as Emma. She embarked on the trip of a lifetime with three female friends visiting a "retreat" in Nepal. 5 years later, she's living a secluded life in Wales, working in an animal shelter and using a different name. What happened during their time abroad and why is somebody taunting Jane/Emma now after all this time?
This was my first time reading a book by British author C.L. Taylor, and I really enjoyed it. The Lie was a very sinister and atmospheric tale of psychological suspense. At one stage, I was doubting everybody who was around Jane, completely unsure whom to trust. Jane was a very likable character, but there weren't many of those.
I thought the book was extremely good at depicting the dynamics of groups. Firstly, the female toxic friendships that were shaped by competitiveness, envy and bitterness and secondly, the group dynamics at the "retreat" in Nepal, which showed how easily people can be manipulated and how dangerous a situation can turn once a follow-the-leader environment has been established. However, there were some situations in Nepal as well as in Wales where I felt the plot was losing some credibility. Nevertheless, it was such a tense, fast-paced and provocative story, which was refreshingly different, I really liked it and will seek out more by this author.
Many thanks to Sourcebooks Landmark for my copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. - Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5The Lie by C.L. Taylor is about a woman with a secret in her past and the past is about to catch up with her. Jane Hughes is living in Wales, has a job she enjoys at Green Fields Animal Shelter, and is dating William Smart. But Jane has a secret and a past that she would like to forget. Unfortunately, someone does not want to let the past stay forgotten. One day Jane gets a note and it opens up the door to the past. We go back five years to Emma Woolfe. Emma and her friends (Leanne Cooper, Al Gideon, and Daisy Hamilton) are thinking about taking a vacation to get Al over her recent breakup (especially after they had to help break up at fight at a bar). The four of them have been friends for a while, but there is some tension in the group. They decide to go to Nepal and spend time at the Ekanta Yatra retreat (can only be accessed by walking). There is more to Ekanta Yatra then meets the eye. It is not quite the retreat it was made out to be. The leader, Isaac woos the women and Daisy is infatuated with him (but jealous of the attention he pays to other women). There is soon trouble within the group. Emma believes there is something wrong at Ekanta Yatra. When Emma finds out what is really going on at this place, she is ready to leave. But leaving is not as simple as it sounds. Five years into the future and it is evident that someone knows about Jane’s (aka Emma’s) past and they are coming after her. We get to see what happened in Nepal and what the person after Jane really wants. Read The Lie to see how it plays out.
The Lie sounded like such a good thriller, but it was not as exciting as it sounded. It is a dark (crude) tale that I really did not enjoy. The book contains fighting, stalking, foul language, intimate relations, drugs, drinking, etc. The book goes back and forth from the past to the present and it gets confusing. There are quite a few characters and it can be hard to keep them all straight (I just tried to focus on the main character). The pace slows down considerably in the middle of the book but picks back up near the end. Was it full of suspense and intrigue? Not so much. I did not like Jane (Emma) very much. She overreacts to everything which grew old quickly. I give The Lie 2.75 out of 5 stars (I have to admit that I being generous). It was obvious to tell was Ekanta Yatra was from the very beginning, but these idiotic girls continued to stay (even when it was obvious that there was something very wrong going on). Several parts of the story were very unbelievable (it had me yelling at my kindle). The best part of the book were the animals at Green Field’s Animal Shelter. The Lie was just not for me.
I received a complimentary copy of The Lie from NetGalley in exchange for an honest evaluation of the novel. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A tense thriller from author C.L. Taylor, The Lie is a story of friendship, deception, secrets and betrayal.
"A couple of weeks ago I found a picture of the four of us, taken by a stranger outside Kathmandu airport...We all look so fresh faced and hopeful in the photo, and we were. It was supposed to be a holiday of a lifetime."
Best friends since university, Emma, Al, Daisy and Leeanne, are heading to Nepal for the holiday of a lifetime, where, in between exploring Kathmandu and treking in Chitwan, they are planning on spending a week relaxing at an isolated spiritual retreat. 'Ekantra yatra' initially seems to be everything the brochure promised but within days the friendship between the four girls sours, corrupted by the charismatic leader, Issac.
Five years later Jane Hughes receives an anonymous note, 'I know your name's not really Jane Hughes'. Whoever sent it knows the truth, 'Jane' is really Emma, but do they know she has been lying about more than her identity?
Jane/Emma has been keeping the whole secret of what really happened in Nepal for five long years. When the anonymous note is followed by sinister texts, purportedly from Daisy, Jane reaches out to Al, the only other member of their foursome who returned from 'Ekantra yatra'.
"I was lying to myself when I said that your past doesn't shape your future. Or maybe it was wishful thinking. Your memories are the one thing you can't run from, the one thing you can't change."
As the narrative shifts between the past, revealing what actually happened five years previously at 'Ekantra yatra', and the present, Taylor skilfully builds suspense in both timelines. As Jane/Emma's carefully constructed life in Wales is falling apart in the face of escalating threats from her stalker, the friendship between the four best friends begins to disintegrate in Nepal. Within days of their arrival at 'Ekantra yatra' it's clear the retreat is not what it seems. Manipulated by Issac who preys on their insecurities and petty resentments, the girls turn on each other with frightening ease and as their friendship implodes, the danger escalates.
"How had our holiday gone so wrong? We'd arrived at Ekanta yatra as friends, friends with issues rumbling beneath the smiles and excitement, but ours was a friendship that had outlasted uni and survived relocation, jobs and relationships. Or so I thought. And yet the bonds I believed were strong were only ever superficial and, like a game of Jenga, all it took was one false move and everything collapsed."
With a strong premise, supported by interesting characterisation, The Lie is a well paced, dramatic and atmospheric tale of psychological suspense. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This is a book of two intermingled stories. There is the present day, in which Jane Hughes works in an animal sanctuary, lives in a little cottage and has a boyfriend. She's living a happy enough life but there is still the shadow of the other story, the one 5 years ago in which Jane and her three friends went on holiday to Nepal and ended up having a nightmare time.
I found the story of Nepal interesting and quite disturbing, but I preferred the present day story in which Jane finds herself scared for her life. I enjoyed how the whole story unfolded and think it was done well by the author, without revealing too much all at once and leaving me wanting to read on to find out what happened in Nepal and what will happen to Jane now. It's not a scary book in the traditional sense, but it did leave me feeling aware of how easily life can go off course.
On balance, I don't think I enjoyed this one quite as much as The Accident, but it's close enough. C.L. Taylor is a really great writer and I hope she's writing a third book.
Book preview
The Lie - C.L. Taylor
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Copyright © 2015, 2016 by C. L. Taylor
Cover and internal design © 2016 by Sourcebooks, Inc.
Cover design by www.asmithcompany.co.uk
Cover images © Dougal Waters/Getty Images, Nikki Smith/Arcangel Images
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The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious and are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
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Published by Sourcebooks Landmark, an imprint of Sourcebooks, Inc.
P.O. Box 4410, Naperville, Illinois 60567-4410
(630) 961-3900
Fax: (630) 961-2168
www.sourcebooks.com
Originally published in 2015 in the United Kingdom by Avon, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, UK.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Taylor, C. L.
Title: The lie / C. L. Taylor.
Description: Naperville, Illinois : Sourcebooks Landmark, [2016] | ?2015
Identifiers: LCCN 2015041053 (pbk. : alk. paper)
Subjects: | GSAFD: Mystery fiction. | Suspense fiction.
Classification: LCC PR6120.A89 L54 2016 | DDC 823/.92--dc23 LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2015041053
CONTENTS
Front Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Reading Group Guide
A Conversation with the Author
An Excerpt from Before I Wake
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Back Cover
To Laura B., Georgie D., and Minal S.
1
PRESENT DAY
I know he’s trouble before he even sets foot in the building. I can tell by the way he slams the door of his 4×4 and storms across the parking lot without waiting to see if his short, bespectacled wife is following him. When he reaches the glass double doors to reception, I avert my gaze back to my computer screen. It’s best to avoid direct eye contact with an aggressor. When you spend twelve hours a day with dangerous animals, you learn a lot about confrontation, fear, and hostility—and not just in relation to dogs.
The bell above the doors rings as the man enters the reception area, but I continue to enter the details of a seven-day evaluation into the computer database. A German shepherd named Tyson was brought in by an inspector a week ago. We’ve been evaluating him ever since, and I’ve identified behavioral issues with other dogs, cats, and humans—unsurprising in a former drug-den guard dog. Some people believe that a dog like Tyson should be put down for his own good, but I know we can rehabilitate him. Your past doesn’t have to define your future.
Where’s my fucking dog?
The man rests his elbows on the reception counter and juts out his chin, contempt etched onto his thin, sunken face. His shoulders are narrow beneath an oversize leather jacket, and his jeans hang loosely from his hips. He can’t be much older than late forties, early fifties tops, but he looks worn down by life. I suspect he’s the sort to own a dangerous breed. Small man, big car. Big dog too. No wonder he wants him back. He’s missing his canine penis extension.
Can I help you?
I swivel around to face him and smile.
I want my dog. One of my neighbors saw the inspector turn up when we was out. They took him out the backyard. I want him back.
He’s named Jack, he’s a Staffordshire bull terrier, and he’s five years old.
His bespectacled wife puffs into the reception area, her black leggings sagging at the knees, her pink lipstick neatly applied, and her gray-streaked hair scraped back into a tight ponytail.
I look back at her husband. And your name is?
Gary. Gary Fullerton,
the man replies, ignoring his wife.
I know the dog they are talking about. Jack was brought in four days ago. His right eye was so swollen it was sealed shut, his lip was torn and bloody, and his left ear was so mangled the vet had to remove half of it. He’d been in a fight, but it clearly wasn’t a one-off. You could tell that by the scars on his body and the wounds on his face. This owner’s obviously fresh from the police station. On bail pending a hearing, probably.
My smile fades. I’m afraid I can’t help you.
I know he’s here,
the man says. You can’t keep him. We haven’t done anything wrong. He got into a fight in the park, that’s all. We’ve got seven days to claim him. That’s what my mate said.
I angle myself away from him so my shoulders are square on to the computer and we’re no longer facing each other. I’m sorry, but I can’t discuss special cases.
Oi!
He leans over the counter and reaches for the monitor, yanking it toward him. I’m talking to you.
Gary…
His wife touches his arm. He glares at her but lets go of the monitor. Please.
She peers at my name badge. Please, Jane, we just want to see Jack, that’s all, just to check he’s okay. We don’t want any trouble; we just want to see our boy.
Her eyes mist with tears behind her glasses, but I don’t feel sorry for her. She must know Gary enters Jack into fights. She’s probably objected from time to time, maybe tried her best to clean Jack up with a wet washcloth afterward, but ultimately, she’s done nothing to stop that dog from getting torn to bits.
I’m sorry.
I shake my head. I really can’t discuss individual cases.
What bloody case?
the man roars, but his hands hang loosely at his sides. The fight’s gone out of him. He knows he hasn’t got a leg to stand on, and the shouting’s just for show. The worst thing is he probably does love the dog. He was no doubt proud of Jack when he won his first few fights. He probably gave him a big handful of dried dog biscuits and sat next to him on the sofa with his arm around him. But then Jack started to lose, and Gary didn’t like that; it knocked his pride, so he kept entering him into competitions, kept waiting for his fighting spirit to return, kept hoping his luck would change.
Everything okay, Jane?
Sheila, my manager, strolls into reception from the corridor to my right and puts a hand on my shoulder. She smiles at Gary and his wife, but there’s a tightness around her lips that suggests she’s heard every word.
We’re going.
Gary slaps the counter with the palm of his right hand. But you haven’t heard the last from us.
He turns and stalks toward the exit. His wife remains where she is, fingers knotting in front of her, silently pleading with me.
Come on, Carole,
Gary snaps.
She hesitates, just for a second, her eyes still fixed on mine.
Carole!
he says again, and she’s off, trotting obediently at his side.
The bell rings as they leave reception, and they cross the parking lot in single file, Gary leading, Carole following behind. If she glances back, I’ll go after her. I’ll make up an excuse to talk to her on her own. That look she just gave me…it wasn’t just about the dog.
Look back, look back, Carole.
Lights flash as Gary points his key fob at the Range Rover, and he opens the door. Carole clambers into the passenger seat. Gary says something as she settles herself, and she takes off her glasses and rubs her eyes.
Jane.
Sheila gently squeezes my shoulder. I think we should have a nice cup of tea, don’t you?
I get the subtext: Jack’s your business, Carole’s not.
She heads for the staff room, then stops suddenly. Oh! I forgot to give you this.
She hands me an envelope. My full name is handwritten on the front: Jane Hughes, Green Fields Animal Shelter. A thank-you letter, I imagine.
I run my thumb under the seal and open the envelope as Sheila waits expectantly in the doorway. There’s a single piece of paper inside, folded into four. I read it quickly, then fold it back up.
Well?
Sheila asks.
It’s from Maisie’s new owners. She’s settled in well, and they’re head over heels in love with her.
Great.
She gives an approving nod before continuing into the staff room.
I wait for the sound of her footsteps to fade away, then glance through the glass double doors to the parking lot beyond. There’s an empty space where Carole and Gary’s 4×4 was parked.
I unfold the piece of paper in my hands and read it again. There’s a single sentence, written in the center of the page in blue ink:
I know your name’s not really Jane Hughes.
Whoever sent it to me knows the truth. My real name is Emma Woolfe, and for the last five years, I’ve been pretending to be someone else.
2
FIVE YEARS EARLIER
Daisy doesn’t say a word as I sit down opposite her at the table. Instead, she pushes a shot toward me, then glances away, distracted by a group of men squeezing their way through the pub to an empty table near the bathroom. One of the men at the back of the pack—a short, dark-haired guy with a paunch—does a double take. He nudges the man next to him, who pauses, glances back, and gives Daisy a nod of approval. She dismisses him with the arch of one eyebrow, then looks back at me.
Drink!
she shouts and gestures toward the glass. Talk afterward.
Nice to see you too.
I don’t ask what it’s a shot of. I don’t even sniff it. Instead, I knock it back, then reach for the glass of white wine that Daisy pushes toward me. I can barely taste it for the strong aftertaste of aniseed from the shot.
You okay, darling?
I shake my head and take another sip of wine.
Geoff the Asshole giving you shit again?
Yeah.
So quit.
If only it were that easy.
Of course it’s that bloody easy, Emma.
Daisy runs both hands through her blond hair, then flicks it over her shoulders so it cascades down her back. You print out a resignation letter, you give it to him, and then you leave, middle-finger salute optional.
A man holding two pints knocks the side of my chair with his hip. Lager slops out of the glasses and soaks my left shoulder.
Sorry,
I say automatically. The man ignores me and continues onward, his mates in his sights.
Daisy rolls her eyes.
Don’t.
What?
She gives me an innocent look.
Don’t give me shit for apologizing, and don’t go after him.
As if I would.
You would.
She shrugs. Yeah, well, someone’s got to stand up for you. Want me to have a word with your boss for you too? Because I would, you know.
Her cell phone, on the table in front of her, bleeps, and she jabs it with a bitten-down fingernail. Daisy’s eyeliner is deftly applied, her blond hair straightened and shiny, but her cuticles are ragged, her red nail polish chipped and flaking. Her nails are the one chink in her perfectly polished armor. She catches me looking and clenches her fingers into fists, burying them in her lap.
He’s a bully, Emma, pure and simple. He’s been criticizing you and making you feel like shit since the day you started.
I know, but there’s a rumor he’s going to take over the Manchester office.
You’ve been saying that for three years.
I can’t just leave.
Why? Because of your mom? Jesus Christ, Emma, you need to grow a pair. You’re twenty-five years old. You only get one life; do what you want. Fuck your mom.
Daisy!
What?
She tops up her glass and knocks it back. From the glazed look in her eyes, I suspect that this bottle of wine isn’t her first of the night. Someone’s got to say it, and it might as well be me. You need to stop caring about her opinion and do what you want. It’s getting boring, your obsession with what your bloody family thinks. You’ve been on about it since university and—
Sorry I’ve bored you. I thought we were supposed to be friends.
I reach for my bag and stand up, but Daisy reaches across the table and grabs my wrist.
Don’t be like that. And stop bloody apologizing. Sit down, Emma.
I perch on the edge of my seat. I can’t speak. If I do, I’ll cry, and I hate crying in public.
Daisy keeps hold of my hand. I’m not being a bitch. I just want you to be happy, that’s all. You’ve already told me you’ve saved up enough money to stop work for three months.
That’s emergency money.
And this is an emergency. You’re miserable. Come work with me in the pub until you get something else. Ian would take you on in a heartbeat; he loves redheads.
It’s dyed.
For God’s sake, Emma—
Her phone vibrates on the table, and the tinny sound of Rihanna and Eminem’s Love the Way You Lie
cuts through the chatter and hum in the pub.
Daisy holds up a hand to me, then snatches up her phone. Leanne? You okay?
She puts a finger in one ear and frowns in concentration. Okay. Yeah, we’ll be there. Give us fifteen minutes to grab a cab. All right? Okay. See you in a bit.
She tucks her phone into the tiny clutch bag on the table, then looks across at me. There’s concern in her blue eyes, but a sliver of excitement too.
That was Leanne. She’s in that new gay club, Malice, in Soho with Al. Al’s on the hunt for Simone and her new girlfriend.
Shit.
I clutch my bag and reach around for my coat on the back of my chair.
You okay if we go? I know we were talking about your job, but—
It’s fine.
I stand up. Al needs us. Let’s grab a cab.
• • •
We sit in silence as the taxi splashes through puddles and the bright lights of London’s West End speed past us. The streets are unusually empty, the heavy rain forcing locals and tourists into already packed pubs, their windows misty with condensation.
Daisy looks up from her phone. You know it’s the anniversary of her brother’s death, don’t you?
Al’s brother?
Yeah. I called her at lunchtime.
How was she?
Drunk.
Shit, at work?
No, playing hooky; she was in the pub.
She’s been doing that a lot recently.
Yeah, when she’s not stalking Simone,
Daisy says, and we share a look.
It’s been over a month since Al and Simone split up, but Al’s behavior is becoming more and more erratic by the day. She’s convinced that Simone left her because she met someone else, and she’s determined to find out who it is. She spends hours on Google, looking for clues,
and she’s created several false Facebook profiles to try to get access to Simone’s page and the pages of anyone she’s friends with. None of us had seen the split coming, not least Al, who’d been planning on proposing. She’d been saving up for months for a ring and a safari in Kenya so she could propose on an elephant ride—Simone’s favorite animal.
Here we are, ladies,
the cab driver says over his shoulder as we pull up in front of the neon-pink Malice sign.
Daisy pokes a tenner through the glass partition, then opens the taxi door. Let’s go get Al.
• • •
Excuse me, darling. Thank you. Excuse me.
Daisy elbows her way through the throng of bodies clogging up the stairs, and I follow in her wake. We’ve already squeezed our way across the dance floor on the ground level in search of Leanne and Al, but there is no sign of them. No sign of Simone either.
Bathrooms!
Daisy twists back and waves her cell phone at me as she reaches the top of the stairs, then takes a left.
I struggle to push my way through the huge crowd of women drinking beer and hanging out outside the women’s bathroom but finally manage to make my way inside.
Oi!
A large woman wearing a Superdry T-shirt and oversize jeans shoots out a tattooed arm to bar my way as I attempt to squeeze past her. There’s a line.
Sorry, I’m just looking for a friend.
Emma, in here!
A stall door swings open, and Daisy waves at me through the gap. She makes an apologetic face at the woman in the line. Sorry, we’re dealing with a crisis in here.
Bloody lesbians,
the woman says. Always a melodrama.
• • •
There’s no room for me to squeeze inside the stall, so I hover outside and poke my head around the door. Al is sitting on the toilet with her head in her hands. Leanne and Daisy are pressed up against the walls on either side of her. Every couple of seconds, the main door into the bathroom opens, and pumping house music floods the entire space as women file in and out, grumbling as they squeeze past me to find an empty stall.
Al, sweetie.
Daisy hitches up her dress and squats down next to her friend. Let’s get you home.
Al shakes her head. The hems of her jeans are wet with rainwater, and the laces of one of her sneakers are untied. There’s cellophane poking out from beneath the arm of her T-shirt. She’s had another tattoo, but I can’t make out what it is.
Leanne catches my eye as though noticing me for the first time. She’s dyed her bangs pink since the last time I saw her. Her sharp black bob has always looked a bit severe, but with the pink streak and her new, thick-rimmed black geek
specs dominating her thin face, she looks like she’s wearing a motorbike helmet.
She shrugs and angles her arm toward me so I can read the time on her Mickey Mouse watch. It’s midnight. She flashes her fingers at me, then holds up two more. Shit, Al’s been drinking for twelve hours.
This isn’t the first time Leanne’s had to call Daisy and me to take Al home. At five foot six, about two hundred pounds, and bull-like in temperament, it takes all four of us to maneuver Al anywhere, especially when she’s drunk. Simone used to manage it, but she had an advantage: Al was in love with her. She could always talk her into going home, no matter how much she’d had to drink.
Two of the girls washing their hands in the sink behind me start laughing, and Al looks up.
Are they laughing at me? Are you fucking laughing at me?
She half rises, but Leanne presses down on her shoulder, and Daisy grips hold of her wrist so Al is rooted to the toilet.
I glance behind me. They can’t even see you.
They know.
Al runs a hand over her Mohawk. Everyone knows. I’m a fucking laughingstock.
No, you’re not,
Daisy says. Relationships end all the time, Al. No one’s judging you.
Oh yeah? Then why did Jess at reception say ‘Ticket for one?’ when I came in?
Because you came alone?
Oh, fuck off, Daisy.
She yanks her hand out of Daisy’s grip. What would you know? You haven’t been dumped once in your whole life.
"Well, I have, I say,
and I know how much it hurts, especially if they leave you for someone else. I’d had my suspicions about Jake for a while, but then when he—"
Emma!
Leanne makes a stop talking gesture with her finger across her throat.
Not that Simone left you for someone else,
I say, but it’s too late. Al’s on her feet and barging past me.
If she’s here with that fucking bitch, today of all days, I’m going to swing for her. I’ll swing for both of them. Fucking baby dyke bitches.
Al!
Daisy totters after her, reaching for her arm. She’s not worth it. Al!
Well done, Emma.
Leanne glares up at me from behind her neon bangs. I’d just talked her down, and you fired her up again.
She didn’t look very chilled to me.
You didn’t see her before. She was punching the stall walls. She nearly got us both thrown out.
Sorry. I didn’t mean to—
She pushes past me. You never do, Emma.
• • •
By the time I find the others, they’re standing in the center of the dance floor downstairs with a circle of people surrounding them. Al is in the middle, jabbing her finger at Simone and some other girl I don’t recognize. Daisy and Leanne are on either side of her.
I fucking knew it,
Al says. I knew you were sleeping with Gem.
Actually
—Simone squares up to her, even though she’s several inches shorter and several pounds lighter—Gem and I got together after we split up, not that it’s any of your business.
I think you’ll find it is.
Al turns her attention to the other woman, who takes a step closer to Simone and slings a heavy arm around her shoulders. She’s at least six feet tall, all sinew and muscle, with a heavy jaw and close-cropped hair. She’s got a boxer’s physique and the attitude to match.
Think you’re clever, do you?
Al asks. Taking Simone off me?
I don’t think anything.
’Course you don’t. Pig shit doesn’t think.
Boxer Woman smirks. Piss off, Al. No one’s interested, least of all Simone. And for the record, I didn’t take her off you. She came running.
Bullshit. We were happy before you started sniffing around.
Is that so? According to Sim, you’re a possessive control freak who wouldn’t let her out.
Is that what you told her?
Al glares at Simone. That I’m a control freak? After everything I did for you? When we met, you had nowhere to live. You had nothing, Simone, and I let you live with me rent free. I gave you money to go clubbing. I would have done anything for you.
You smothered me.
Al’s eyes mist with tears. Then you should have told me, not run off with this bulldog.
What did you call me?
Boxer Woman drops her arm from around Simone’s shoulders and takes a step toward Al. Say that again to my face, you fat bitch.
Fuck you.
Al half steps, half jumps forward and swings at the taller woman before Leanne or Daisy can stop her. Her fist makes contact with Gem’s jaw, and Gem stumbles backward. Her foot slips on the beer-stained floor, and she tumbles to the ground. The crowd whoops with excitement, and out of the corner of my eye, I spot a male member of security, walkie-talkie pressed to his ear, striding toward us. Daisy sees him too and gestures for me to help Leanne, who’s desperately shoving Al toward the door.
It doesn’t take much persuasion to get her to leave now. She’s so jubilant she practically skips out of the room.
Fucking yeah!
She punches the air, then winces and hugs her right hand to her body. She glances behind us as we hurry her toward the exit. Where’s Daisy?
Leanne and I exchange a look. She’ll be fine. She’s chatting up the bouncer.
Dirty slut.
Al laughs all the way out of the building and into the waiting cab.
3
It’s the next morning, and I’ve only been at my desk for ten minutes when Geoff, my boss, wanders over. He lingers behind me, his hand on the back of my chair. I shuffle as far forward as I can, so I end up perched right on the very edge of the seat.
Late again, Emma.
Sorry.
I keep my gaze fixed on the spreadsheet in front of me. Tube was delayed.
It’s a lie. We didn’t get Al into bed until 2:00 a.m., and then I had to wait for a taxi to get me back to Wood Green. By the time I rolled into bed, it was after three.
You’ll have to make up the time. I want you here until seven.
But I need to get to Clapham by then. My brother’s in a play.
You should have thought about that this morning and gotten up earlier. Now…
My chair creaks as he rests his full weight on it and leans around me so his mouth is inches from the side of my face. I can feel his breath, hot and sour in my ear. I’m expecting that spreadsheet by lunchtime so I can look over it before I speak to the sales team this afternoon. Or should I expect that to be late too?
I want to tell him to stick his spreadsheet up his ass. Instead, I curl my hands into fists and press my fingernails into the palms of my hands. You’ll get it.
• • •
I’ve been Geoff’s assistant for three years. He’s head of sales here at United Internet Solutions, a software, hosting, and search engine optimization company. I was only supposed to be here for three months—it was meant to be just another of the countless temping jobs I took after university—but he extended my contract and then offered me a five-grand pay raise and a permanent position. Daisy told me back then to turn it down and do something else, but the only thing I’ve ever really wanted to do is be a vet, and you can’t do that with a business degree. And I couldn’t face temping again.
I wait until Stephen Jones, Geoff’s favorite salesman and self-proclaimed top dog,
strolls past us and into his office, closing the door behind him, and then I head for the ladies’ bathroom, my cell phone hidden up my sleeve. I check the stalls to make sure that neither of the other two women who work for UIS are about, then I dial Mom’s number. It’s Tuesday, which means she should be at home. She works in the doctor’s office she and Dad set up when they were newly married and still childless, but she only does Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. The phone rings for several minutes before she finally picks up. She’s had her cell phone for years but still hasn’t worked out how to set up voice mail.
Shouldn’t you be at work?
That’s how she greets me. No Hello, Emma,
no Everything okay, darling?
just Shouldn’t you be at work?
I am at work.
Should you be on the phone? You don’t want to upset your boss, not after your recent appraisal.
Mom, can you just… Never mind. Look, I can’t make it to Henry’s show tonight.
There’s an audible intake of breath followed by an exaggerated sigh. Oh, Emma.
There it is, her disappointed tone, the one perfectly pitched to make me feel like utter shit.
I’m sorry, Mom. I really wanted to make it, but—
Henry will be disappointed. You know how much work he’s put into his one-man show. Tonight’s the night he’s invited lots of agents along, and it’s so important that the audience is on his side, and—
Mom, I know.
He wants to take it to Edinburgh; you know that, don’t you? We’re ever so proud.
Yes, I do know that, but Geoff—
Can’t you ask him nicely? I’m sure he’d understand if you explain why.
I have asked him. He said I have to work until seven because I was late this morning.
Oh, for God’s sake. So it’s your own fault you can’t come? Don’t tell me you were out drinking until late with your friends again.
Yes. No. We had to help Al. I’ve told you how upset she’s been about Simone recently, and—
And that’s what I should tell Henry, is it? That your friends are more important to you than your family?
That’s not fair, Mom. I’ve been to all George’s matches, and I was there when Isabella opened her dance studio.
I spent most of my childhood being dragged from one sibling event to another, a habit that has now become so ingrained that I start each day by checking the calendar in my kitchen to see who’s doing what. Isabella is my oldest sibling. She’s thirty-two, an ex-dancer, ridiculously beautiful, and married with a son. George is my older brother. He’s twenty-eight and a golf pro. He lives in St. Andrews, and I rarely see him. Henry’s the youngest; he’s twenty-four and the next Eddie Izzard, if you believe my mother.
Mom?
There’s a pause, a pause that stretches for one, two, three, four seconds.
Mom? Are you still there?
She sighs again. You should get back to work. It sounds like you’re in enough trouble as it is.
I swipe at my eyes with the heel of my hand. Could you wish Henry good luck from me?
I will. I’ll speak to you soon. You’d better get back to it. Work hard and make us proud.
The line goes dead before I can reply.
4
PRESENT DAY
I’m sitting in the staff room, the letter in my hand, my messenger bag at my feet. It’s been six hours since Sheila handed me the envelope, and I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve examined it. There’s my name, my assumed name—Jane Hughes—at the top, then Green Fields Animal Shelter, Bude, Nr Aberdare, Wales. There’s a first-class stamp in the top right corner. It’s been stamped, but it’s too smudged to make out the town or date. The letter itself is written in blue ink in cursive handwriting. The words aren’t large and bold and shouty. They’re neatly written, punctuated and spelled correctly.
You haven’t stopped reading that since I gave it to you,
Sheila says, taking a step toward me, hand outstretched. Can I see?
It’s nothing. Like I said, just a letter from Maisie’s owners. Nothing important.
I crumple the letter in my hand and throw it toward the trash before she can reach me. It hits the rim and bounces in.
Sheila stops short in the middle of the room. Her outstretched hand drops to her side, and she makes a small oh
sound, but she doesn’t retrieve the letter from the trash. Instead, she gives me a puzzled smile, then heads for the coat stand in the corner of the room. She pulls on her waterproof jacket, grabs her oversize handbag from one of the chairs, and hoists it over her shoulder.
I’m off, then,
she says. Are you in tomorrow?
Yeah.
Make sure all the gates are secured before you go. We don’t want Mr. Four-by-Four and his mates attempting a dognap in the middle of the night, do we?
I will, don’t worry.
I won’t.
Her smile widens, and she raises a hand in good-bye, then heads for the door.
Thirty seconds later, the bell above the main doors tinkles as she leaves. I fish the letter out of the trash, tuck it back into its envelope, and put it in my back pocket. Then I pick up my messenger bag and take out my cell phone.
There are two texts and one missed call.
17:55—Text from Will:
You still on for dinner tonight? X
17:57—Missed call, Will.
17:58—Text from Will:
Sorry, just wanted to check. You do eat sea bass, don’t you? I know there’s one kind of fish you don’t like but couldn’t remember if it was sea bass or sea bream? Not too late to pop to the grocery store if you don’t like it!
Shit, I forgot I was supposed to be going to Will’s for dinner.
The phone vibrates in my hand, and a tinkling tune fills the air.
Will.
I’m tempted to swipe