Still Standing -Weathering The Challenges of Life

Still

STANDING

__________

Weathering the

Challenges of Life

by Sheila Hayford

~~~

Smashwords Edition

Still Standing – Weathering the Challenges of Life

Copyright © 2012 by Sheila Hayford, What A Word Publishing and Media Group, Anthony Harris, Brenda Allen, Jekeitta Powell, Josephine Spencer, Juanita Taylor, Paula Greene, Thelma Deloatch, Wanda Commodore

Published by: Dr. Sheila Hayford, What A Word Publishing and Media Group

www.whatawordpublishing.com

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission from the Publisher. Requests should be sent by email to: [email protected] or via the website http://www.whatawordpublishing.com

All telephone requests must be confirmed in writing.

ISBN: 978-0-692-01932-0

All Scripture references are from the King James Version of the Holy Bible unless otherwise stated.

.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to acknowledge:-

- All the authors for their hard work and diligence in the writing of this book. Thank you for pressing through with your commitments as unto the Lord God.

- Two of my heroes who dared to delve into unfamiliar territory, President Nelson Mandela of South Africa and President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf of Liberia. President Nelson Mandela was a staunch opposer of the racially oppressive apartheid form of governance. His activism for social justice was not without personal sacrifice. After twenty seven years in prison for his crusade against political oppression he emerged to become the first African President of a democratic South Africa. President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf studied extensively in the United States of America and went on to serve the people of Liberia under President William Tolbert. After a coup d’état forced her to leave Liberia she worked for the United Nations among many others and was instrumental in addressing women’s issues including the Rwandan genocide. She lost her first bid for election as President of Liberia in 1997 but became the first female President and the first female African President in 2005. She remains so to this day. President Nelson Mandela and President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf have both been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in recognition of their achievements. They overcame the obstacles and challenges that confronted them in order to create a better future for their generation and others and to this day, by the grace of God, are Still Standing.

Dr. Sheila Hayford, Publisher

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Rejection Taught Me to Love

Doing Time without Committing the Crime

From Anger to Forgiveness: A Heart That Forgives

My Pain Became My Gain

Till Death Us Do Part

Life after Death: Single, Saved, Celebrated!

I Pushed Past the Hurt Because God Loves Me

A Restored Garment

The Book Cover

Literary Announcement

..., and having done all, to stand

Ephesians Chapter 6, verse 13

..., Stand ye still and see the salvation of the L0RD with you...

2 Chronicles Chapter 20, verse 17

FOREWORD

Challenges! Issues! Obstacles! We all face them as we walk this journey of life. Some challenges just dare you to overcome them! How many of us have finished a project ahead of time because someone told us it could not be done? Other challenges try to wear you down by their sheer persistence over time. Still other challenges seemingly come up unexpectedly and the choices we have to make as a result may be life changing. What we do with our challenges is up to us. For you see, the question we must each ask ourselves is this: At the end of this challenge who will be left standing? Will the issue facing us have the upper hand or will we experience our victory? Although the authors in this book come from various denominations they share a Christ centered Christian faith that enabled them to face and overcome their personal issues. I say that if your God can fit into a man-made denomination then he is too small. The church, as the body of the Lord Jesus Christ, should allow its members and leaders the freedom to be real about their individual struggles and encourage all to seek help from God and from each other. As you read this book you will laugh, you will cry, but most of all it is my hope that you will be challenged to confront your own personal issues. There is no room for judgment; but plenty of room for personal advancement. So sit back and relax as we share this book with you. When all is said and done, may we each reach the end of our life’s journey Still Standing.

by Dr. Sheila Hayford.

This Chapter Is Dedicated:

- To my sisters, Brenda, Phyllis, Theresa, Elaine, Carrie, Joyce and my brother, Terry. You have been my support and strength throughout the years. Thank you for encouraging me through some rough times. Thank you for your love.

- To the Faith Tabernacle Family. Thank you for seeing the call on my life and ordaining me to preach the gospel.

- To my current Pastor, Apostle Paula Greene who has been a constant source of encouragement to me this past year and who helped me find the courage to tell my story

- To all my church family and friends who continue to show your love and support in so many ways. I love you all and to God be the Glory!!!

Pastor Anthony Harris.

REJECTION TAUGHT ME TO LOVE

by Pastor Anthony Harris

I was blessed to be born into the two parent household of Ada and Donnie Harris as the eighth of eight children. My dad, Donnie Harris worked as an interstate construction company truck driver. My mother was employed as a housekeeper in the Dover area. Our family life was very church oriented with all the family in attendance at church services. Dad was a Deacon and mother was an Evangelist. We grew up living right next door to M.F. Chase United Memorial Church where we attended church. Growing up in a large family was fun. We each had our assigned chores. My assignment was to clean the house and take the trash out and to help with cooking. I got along well with my siblings and we had a lot of fun. My dad had a problem with alcohol and when he was drunk he would act harshly towards his family. I loved my dad dearly and looked up to him. I think my roots of rejection started when my dad would say unkind words to his wife and children when he was drunk. I was too young at the time to comprehend why he would say such hurtful things to his family and I internalized the words that he spoke. In time, my dad decided to stop attending church because he did not want church folk talking about his drinking problem. To dad, drinking was a leisure activity done in his back yard. I could not fully understand at the time why my dad left the church but I still looked up to my father despite some of the things he said or did when he was drunk. My father was a good provider and took care of our material needs. Dad worked long and hard to make sure he could take care of his family. In school my favorite subjects were English and Math. I enjoyed singing and sang in the gospel choir at school. Our choir was well known and performed throughout the community. Due to some challenges with learning, I attended some Special Education Classes. Some of my schoolmates ridiculed me because of my different style of learning and I felt rejected. Partly as a result of that rejection I began to act out to gain acceptance and in the process sought to date one of the girls at school. She was not interested in me and I ended up being suspended. I gained acceptance for a short time with my peers by earning the reputation of bad boy but that was not the attention I was yearning for.

My first job was at the Dinner Bell Inn where I worked as a cook, dishwasher and banquet server. I was happy to earn some money and thoroughly enjoyed the two years I worked there. After that I worked at ConAgra as a line packer for a year. I then worked at one of the finest soul food restaurants at the time, C. Moore’s restaurant. I spent eight years working there as a cook, banquet set up manager and front end manager. It was the place for many celebrities to dine and I met and talked with gospel singer, Mr. Bobby Jones from Black Entertainment Television after he performed a show in town. A member of the famous African-American gospel singing families, the Clark Sisters, Karen, also dined at C. Moore’s after attending a local church. I always loved to cook and after C. Moore restaurant closed I worked at the Dog Grille as a cook for two years. As a kid, cooking and cleaning were my two main chores around the house. I perfected these two chores and found a profession in one. I always felt comfortable with cooking and so it was easy for me to feel accepted by my cooking peers. In my personal life, however, the struggle for acceptance continued.

I decided to date Victoria*, a beautiful lady who was not a Christian at the time. I was in a backslidden state and began to party to gain acceptance by my peers. *not her real name

I still did not fit in with the crowd and was known as the church boy by the party goers who flat out told me that I did not belong there. It seemed like I could not get acceptance anywhere! My relationship with Victoria was short lived and I felt rejected because she did not reciprocate my love.

I was in my twenties when I began to date a very special lady, Robin.* Robin and I had met while I was preaching at her cousin’s church. Robin lived in New Jersey and we pursued a long distance relationship. We would visit each other on the weekends. Robin had a two year old son and had been in an abusive relationship before we met. I loved her and wanted to help her. I was attracted to the way she carried herself and her pleasant personality. She finally decided to move to Delaware and began working for a catalog company. After about two years of dating, Robin and I were married in a beautiful ceremony at the Mount Zion African Methodist Episcopal Church, officiated by Bishop Alexander. Robin’s family was in attendance from New Jersey and we all enjoyed the occasion. Robin and I loved each other and wanted our marriage to work but were unprepared for some of the challenges. Robin’s brother moved in to stay with us. He did not have a job at the time and the plan was for him to stay with us for two months while he looked for a job. Those two months turned to almost a year and a half. He had a drinking problem and did not want to abide by the rules that our relationship and household called for. This put a strain on our marriage and I felt Robin was taking sides