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    It's Raining Men: A getaway to remember. But is a holiday romance on the cards?
    It's Raining Men: A getaway to remember. But is a holiday romance on the cards?
    It's Raining Men: A getaway to remember. But is a holiday romance on the cards?
    Ebook519 pages7 hours

    It's Raining Men: A getaway to remember. But is a holiday romance on the cards?

    By Milly Johnson

    4.5/5

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    About this ebook

    A heartwarming and feel-good read from the Sunday Times bestseller

    ‘The feeling you get when you read a Milly Johnson book should be bottled and made available on the NHS’ Debbie Johnson

    A getaway to remember. But is a holiday romance on the cards?

    Best friends from work May, Lara and Clare are desperate for some time away. They have each had a rough time of it lately and need some serious R & R, so they set off to a luxurious spa for ten glorious days. But when they arrive at their destination, it seems it is not the place they thought it was. In fact, they appear to have come to entirely the wrong village …

    Despite the strange atmosphere, the three friends are determined to make the best of it and have a holiday to remember. But will this be the break they all need? Or will the odd little village with all its secrets bring them all to breaking point?

    Praise for Milly Johnson:
    'Every time you discover a new Milly book, it’s like finding a pot of gold' heat
    'A glorious, heartfelt novel' Rowan Coleman
    ‘Absolutely loved it. Milly's writing is like getting a big hug with just the right amount of bite underneath. I was rooting for Bonnie from the start' Jane Fallon
    ‘Bursting with warmth and joie de vivre’ Jill Mansell
    ‘Warm, optimistic and romantic’ Katie Fforde
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSimon & Schuster UK
    Release dateAug 1, 2013
    ISBN9781471114625
    Author

    Milly Johnson

    Milly Johnson was born, raised and still lives in Barnsley, South Yorkshire. A Sunday Times bestseller, she is one of the Top 10 Female Fiction authors in the UK, and has sold millions of copies of her books sold across the world. The Happiest Ever After is her twenty-first novel.    Milly’s writing highlights the importance of community spirit and the magic of kindness. Her books inspire and uplift but she packs a punch and never shies away from the hard realities of life and the complexities of relationships in her stories. Her books champion women, their strength and resilience, and celebrate love, friendship and the possibility and joy of second chances and renaissances. She writes stories about ordinary women and the extraordinary things that happen in their ordinary lives.

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    Reviews for It's Raining Men

    4.5/5

    77 ratings4 reviews

    What our readers think

    Readers find this title to be an awesome story with beautiful characters and a touch of magic. The writing is engaging and keeps readers hooked, with mini storylines that add to the fun summer read and love story vibe. The book is a light and enjoyable read, with nice characters and a careful balance of fantasy elements. Overall, readers loved this book and found it engaging and captivating.

    What did you think?

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    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 3/5
      This book had some great characters and I did enjoy it. It struggled a bit with pace and was a bit slow for me in parts which is why it took me so long to read. Light and uplifting in the end but a bit of a slog in the middle
    • 5/5
      I actually really loved this book. It took me a few chapters to become engaged, but then I found myself constantly looking forward to picking it back up and seeing how the mini story lines within were playing out! I like how she carefully wove a bit of fantasy throughout the book, but not enough to take away from the “fun summer read” or love story vibe.
    • 5/5
      The story is awesome....beautiful characters and a little bit of magic. Milly Johnson's great writing had me wishing the story would not end so I don't have to leave Ren Dellum.
    • 4/5
      This was a light read but very engaging . Nice characters

    Book preview

    It's Raining Men - Milly Johnson

    May

    Chapter 1

    Lara Rickman took a large gulp of coffee and then swallowed hard and fast before she could spit it out. It was as cold as a tub of ice cream in a polar bear’s freezer. How had it cooled so quickly? Surely her PA had only just brought it in for her and the first sip had been piping hot. She checked the clock in the corner of her monitor to find that, in fact, an hour had gone by – sped by at warp speed, as the hours seemed to these days. And not just hours, but days and weeks and months. Had she really been seeing her darling James for three whole months? Had it really been five months since she’d been up to Yorkshire to see her parents, arriving late Christmas Eve, driving back to London early Boxing Day morning on what could only be described as a whistle-stop trip? Had it been nearly two months since she’d last spent proper face-to-face time with her work friends May and Clare? Even then it had been only for a rushed sandwich in the staff restaurant when their three schedules made a rare crossover, like planets happening to align. They’d eaten so fast it was a wonder that the Benny Hill theme tune hadn’t been playing in the background.

    Even though they had all worked for the same company for years, Lara, May and Clare had not met before they gravitated towards each other at a conference a year and a half ago, after ending up in the same discussion group. But then again, Cole and Craw Finance was a massive organization which employed over three thousand people and operated from four adjacent buildings in the City; still in the process of being united into one. The three women were amazed to find that they were all from Yorkshire – Clare from York, May from Leeds and Lara from Barnsley – had all been involved with setting up or trying to rescue businesses, and were all born within six months of each other. Enough common ground to kick-start a fledgling friendship between them. They arranged to meet for lunch occasionally when their busy diaries allowed it. All three of them were hard-working and driven career women, who hadn’t had close female friendships for years. In each other they found a little of what they had been missing.

    Lara was in charge of rescuing ailing businesses or sending them to the brokers’ yard. May was a business advisor who helped set up new companies from scratch and Clare was an accountant for the subsidiary firm Blackwoods and Margoyles, which benefited from being part of the Cole and Craw group yet had an independent set of ruling partners. Blackwoods and Margoyles were renowned experts at trying to turn around businesses teetering on the edge of bankruptcy – the last-chance saloon.

    At their last sandwich-sharing, the topic of holidays had arisen and all of them confessed they hadn’t had a proper break for years. So they made a mad and impulsive decision to book time off together and escape to a spa. And there and then, they’d whipped out their diaries, blocked in the time and Lara had volunteered to find them somewhere wonderful, luxurious, relaxing and indulgently expensive. To her shame, she still hadn’t booked it. She had been too busy with either work or her new mad passionate relationship, which was also speeding along at a rate of knots. She was moving in with James that coming weekend. She realized that was fast, but he had been so seductively keen to rush things to the next stage that she hadn’t resisted.

    She clapped her hands together. She had ten minutes until she went into her next meeting with a trio of ancient accountants; it promised to be an afternoon of total and utter boredom. Lara had lost her work mojo. She was very good at what she did, in fact too good, and promotion after promotion had elevated her into a career of meetings, conferences and supervising other people doing the nitty-gritty parts of the job that she loved to do herself. Lara was fabulously well-paid for what she did, but she was extremely fed up and overworked.

    She checked her make-up in the small magnified mirror she kept in her drawer and wished she hadn’t. Her make-up was fine but the face underneath it looked tired, her once bright hazel eyes were dull with no hint of a sparkle. Oh boy, did she need a holiday. She gave her short blonde wavy hair a primp with her fingers – it didn’t obey combs, never had – and put the mirror away.

    She pulled up Google on her screen, whilst taking her Visa card out of her purse, then in the search bar she typed Superior Cottages, praying that they still had vacancies. She knew the exact place she wanted to book – she’d seen it recommended in the Escape From It All section of a glossy mag she’d read on the train weeks ago. Before the meeting with the Three Stooges she would book the holiday.

    First hurdle: the site was down. But at least there was a message informing any would-be customers that one of their operators would be happy to handle their query over the phone. Lara rang the booking line. As luck would have it, a Miss Becky Whiteley answered.

    ‘Superior Cottages,’ Becky drawled in her automaton greeting. ‘Becky Whiteley speaking. How may I help you?’

    ‘I want to book a cottage but your website appears to be down,’ said Lara.

    ‘Yeah, we’re having problems at the moment,’ said Becky. ‘Sorry about that. Can I take your name, please?’

    ‘Lara. Lara Rickman.’

    ‘And which of our cottages were you interested in booking and when?’

    ‘Wren Cottage in Wellem, from August the tenth to August the twentieth.’ A beautiful olde worlde log cabin in the grounds of a manor house which had been converted into a spa and advertised every sort of massage under the sun – foot, neck, elbow, Swedish, Thai, Turkish, Bognor Regian, bamboo, hot stone, salt scrubs, hopi candles, being slapped on the back with a cold salmon . . . This place did everything. It had an inside swimming pool the size of Wales, bubbling Jacuzzis, a Michelin-starred restaurant. It was heaven on earth if the hype was to be believed.

    It was going to cost them a bomb but they’d all done well for themselves and had earned nice impressive job titles and financial packages to match. They deserved a bit of pamper time. Ten glorious wonderful days of it, to be exact.

    ‘And please include the luxury welcome hamper,’ requested Lara. ‘It’s one hundred and fifty pounds, I do believe.’

    Becky’s concentration levels were middling at the best of times but today – her very last day in this shitty Watford-based holiday agency – they were at rock bottom. She pressed the wrong key and lost the screen. She frantically stabbed at a few more keys, which only made the situation worse and so she reached for a pen and her reporter’s notepad to take down details which she would type up after the call had finished. Visa number, email, address, contact telephone number, holiday dates.

    ‘Yep, I’ll get this confirmed for you and email you the details,’ she said after Lara had supplied her with all the info. ‘Thank you for calling Superior Cottages,’ she added and cut off the call.

    Becky pulled up the booking screen again. Bugger – what was the name of the bloody cottage? She hadn’t written it down but merely committed it to memory, which was a bad mistake as all her thought space was taken up with things Greek. Ren something? She typed the three letters into the search box, and bingo. Well Cottage, Ren Dullem. That was it – she remembered the ‘well’ bit now too. Thank God for that. She processed the payment whilst thinking how blinking expensive it was. Some people really did have more money than sense. She couldn’t find anything about any luxury hamper so she typed the request into the box labelled ‘Message for cottage owner’: Luxury £150 hamper needed on arrival. Job done. She rewarded herself with a drawn-out coffee break and a Twix from the machine.

    She would have been flattered to realize that Miss Rickman, who was pressed for time, trusted her efficiency enough to assume the booking was all correct and didn’t bother to give the confirmation email more than a passing glance at the dates before saving it to a folder on her smartphone.

    Chapter 2

    As Clare sat drinking coffee in a French café in St Pancras, she subtly eavesdropped on the conversation taking place beside her between a pretty young blonde woman, and her boyfriend, a man in the mould of Russell Brand – wild hair, trendy facial hair growth, tight skinny trousers, long tapered leather shoes and black leather waistcoat – oozing cockiness and charm in equal measures.

    ‘Mum’s at home all weekend,’ the girl was saying. ‘So that rules out you coming to mine.’

    The boy shrugged. ‘Looks like my back seat is going to see some action again, then.’

    ‘Ooh, yeah. I’m liking the sound of that.’

    ‘I’ll drive you somewhere dark and isolated and then make you scream your head off.’

    The girl giggled. ‘I liked it when you did that thing with your . . .’ She turned to the side to check she wasn’t being overheard, spotted Clare looking in her direction and then, maddeningly, lowered her voice. Whatever ‘that thing’ he did to her was, it certainly must have hit the spot. Clare tried not to watch them as they started snogging but her eyes kept wandering over in their direction. The boy wasn’t her type at all but there was something dangerous and sexy about him. Clare had never had sex in a car, and had never had a boyfriend who suggested it, either. She had a sudden yearning to drag Ludwig off in his plush Audi and shag him on the moors. She grinned to herself thinking how horrified he would be if she did. They had never had sex out of bed. They had never had rip-your-clothes-off passion in bed either, come to think of it. Lud was a love-maker: slow and gentle, considerate and satisfying. But recently, she had been thinking that just once in a while, it might be nice to be grabbed and seduced on the staircase, or ravaged in the back seat of a car. It was the sort of thing she imagined her friend Lara got up to. Lara was spirited and curvy, like a short modern-day Marilyn Monroe, and she had the most drop-dead gorgeous partner who was an up-and-coming big noise in the City. And it was no secret that that type of man had a passionate sex-drive and a wild side.

    Clare had met Lara eighteen months ago at a work conference and had immediately liked the sassy, small blonde who’d been wearing the red shade of lipstick she wished she was brave enough to sport. They appeared to be the shortest people in the room, which was the initial ice-breaker. They then found themselves in the same discussion group, along with a tall, slim woman with beautiful long brown hair and large brown doe eyes who looked totally uncomfortable in the crowds of people forming themselves into huddles. She introduced herself to them as May Earnshaw

    ‘That’s a good Yorkshire surname,’ said Lara. ‘I’m from Barnsley.’

    ‘I’m from just outside Leeds,’ replied May.

    ‘I’m from York,’ Clare had added to the mix. And a friendship was born.

    Clare felt a kiss on her cheek from someone behind her.

    ‘Sorry I’m late,’ said Ludwig, squeezing her shoulder before taking the seat opposite. He stripped off his smart black Crombie to reveal a drop-dead gorgeous dark-grey suit. He was always so beautifully dressed. The first time she had ever seen him in a suit, three years ago at her birthday party, he had taken her breath away. They had kissed then and been together as a couple ever since.

    ‘Espresso, please,’ he said, waving at the approaching waiter. ‘Would you like another coffee, darling?’

    ‘Yes, please. Cappuccino.’

    ‘And a cappuccino, please,’ he added to his order, his German accent still thickly present although he had lived in England since he was ten years old.

    Clare looked over at her solid, reliable Ludwig and tried to imagine him bonking her in a car. She couldn’t. She wondered what he would say were she to suggest it. Knowing Ludwig, he would give it a go for her sake, whatever he thought about it.

    ‘You look happy,’ Clare said with a smile.

    ‘I am. I’ve just acquired a very important client,’ Ludwig replied, reaching over the table and taking her small hand in his large square one.

    ‘Ah.’ Clare wasn’t surprised to hear the thrill was work-related.

    ‘Yes, very exciting.’ He beamed, pushing his glasses in their thick black frames back up his nose. With those and the flop of hair over his eyes he looked just like Clark Kent when Christopher Reeve played him.

    ‘Lovely,’ said Clare and sighed as Lud’s phone went off and he picked it up and pressed it to his ear. She transferred her attention to the menu and wished that Lud would rip it out of her hands, seize her arm and pull her passionately towards him. Recently he hadn’t given her half as much attention as he had his bloody BlackBerry. Luckily, this time it was a short call.

    ‘Would you like to eat here, my love?’ he asked, putting the phone down on the table in front of him. Once upon a time he would have turned it off and put it out of sight.

    ‘Here is fine.’ Clare was too tired to go looking for anywhere else and it was convenient as Lud was catching the train to Brussels in two hours. He was an investment banker, a genius whizz-kid who had flown to the top of his career tree. He was constantly being head-hunted by firms aching to recruit him. He was addicted to work and his ear was constantly attached to his phone, but he was a dear man and she loved him. He was kind, funny, generous . . . but lately she had been wondering whether Ludwig Wolke was the one. Ever since going to see a stage production of Wuthering Heights two months ago she had been having racy dreams about bedding a wild man on some heather-cushioned moors. Heathcliff had stirred her all up inside and made her yearn for something outside her comfort zone – and someone who would make her the epicentre of his world. There were three of them in this relationship – him, her and his sodding mobile.

    ‘Oh, I bought you something,’ said Ludwig, suddenly remembering. He reached behind him into his coat pocket. ‘It’s to keep you company while I’m away.’

    He handed over a bag. Grinning, Clare peered inside.

    ‘Paul’s chocolate macaroons!’ she yelped with delight. He knew they were her favourites. ‘I promise not to eat them all at once.’

    Lud smiled. ‘If you want to eat them all at once, you go ahead and just do it.’

    ‘I’ll get fat and you’ll leave me.’

    ‘I would never leave you,’ said Lud, picking up the menu. ‘Not unless you wanted me to. Now, pick something to eat. I want to have enough time for dessert.’

    Lovely, kind Lud, thought Clare. Then his BlackBerry went off and she was forgotten as he was plunged, yet again, into his demanding world of high finance.

    Chapter 3

    May grated cheese on top of the bacon, which was on top of the barbecue sauce on top of the chicken breast. Hunter’s Chicken – Michael loved it and she so wanted to pamper him because he was very depressed at the moment.

    It was a recipe emailed over by her friend Clare. It was impossible to think of Clare without smiling: The Domestic Accountant. Clare was so clever with numbers but to look at her, one would never have put her in that profession. She was an earth goddess: petite with a large bust, a Cleopatra black bob and strangely coloured eyes that lit up when she started talking about Dyson’s latest innovation or her new vegetable steamer. She was so funny. May felt as if she had known her for much longer than the eighteen months they’d been friends. Same with Lara, whom she had met on the same day at a conference at work. Lara had messy short naturally golden hair, wore bright red lipstick and was ballsy with a presence far bigger than her height of five foot two. Really it should have been Lara who was five foot ten and May eight inches shorter. May hated being so tall and conspicuous. She would have been much more comfortable being small and easily hidden away.

    Michael was on his way to her from The Pines. She ached to throw her arms around him and let him rest his head on her shoulder. She would give him a long oily massage tonight and soothe away his worries, she decided as she lifted the tray into the oven and then started piping out some whirls of potatoes. Also a favourite.

    She wiped a tear from her eye before it rolled down her cheek. She wished she had someone to talk to about the situation, other than Michael of course. As nice as Lara and Clare were, she hadn’t quite told them the truth about her boyfriend of six months. Yes, they knew that she was seeing a man occasionally but she had intimated that it was only a casual affair and had underplayed her feelings for him. Her friends didn’t know that she was madly in love with him or that he stayed over much more often than she had said. Or that he was married. They surely wouldn’t have approved. They hadn’t talked at any length or depth about their lives but from the little that May did know, Lara’s ex-husband had been carrying on with his first wife behind her back and Clare’s sister’s first husband had been sleeping with every girl in Sheffield except the one he was married to. May didn’t approve of her behaviour herself, although it wasn’t exactly a straightforward case of wife versus scarlet woman.

    Michael arrived in record time. He strode in through the door and straight over to May, his arms open wide to enclose her. May was taller than him but had mastered ‘a bend’ when they hugged so that as they embraced his lips were on a level with her forehead, making her feel a little more girly and enfolded. She savoured his lovely manly smell and the warmth of his body and didn’t mind that his coat was sopping wet.

    ‘Hello, my love,’ he grinned. ‘God, am I happy to see you.’

    ‘Likewise,’ May said and smiled.

    ‘It feels like three weeks since I saw you, not three days.’ He traced the back of his finger down her left cheek, tenderly following the line of the scar that had faded to a dull silver over the years but, to May, was still as glaringly deep, garish and obvious as the day twenty-two years ago when the neighbour’s dog had clamped its teeth onto her cheek.

    ‘I know,’ said May. She wished she could see him every single night. She wished he would come from his stationery-salesman job straight to her house without having to do a detour to The Pines. But he could only do that when Susan had passed away – and May didn’t want to think about that, however much she wanted her lover to be hers and hers alone.

    ‘How is she?’ asked May, pulling off Michael’s damp coat and hanging it over the door near the radiator to dry off.

    ‘Same old, same old.’ He sighed. ‘Have you any wine, my love?’

    ‘Yes, yes, of course.’ May scurried over to the rack and pulled out a bottle of Shiraz, uncorking it as she crossed the kitchen to the cupboard where the glasses were stored. She poured out only one glass, for Michael. She thought that if she had any wine this evening, the floodgates might open in her eyes. She felt exhausted – physically and emotionally. She should have ordered a takeaway instead of attempting all this home-cooking after work.

    ‘It’s so bloody sad,’ said Michael, taking a long gulp and savouring the spicy hit on the back of his throat. ‘She’s just a shell of her former self. There’s nothing left of Susan any more. And yet, physically, she keeps going. She seems to get stronger in body as she gets weaker in her head. There’s the cruel irony of it all.’

    As May put her arms around him, she was weighed down with guilt that she could be feeling so sorry for herself when Michael was worn into the ground with the torture of having a wife struck down with dementia in her thirties. Michael carried a pre-wedding photograph of them in his wallet. His hair was thicker and longer then, without any grey streaks. He liked to keep it very short now. And he was plumper in the face, his cheeks round and pink as he smiled into the lens. Snuggled up under his arm Susan was pretty, with cropped red hair that suited her heart-shaped face, and a turned-up pixie nose. In that photo they had everything to look forward to; there was not a hint of what was to hit them.

    ‘Take a seat,’ said May, and after he did so she started to knead her thumbs into his shoulders. She heard him sigh and she smiled. Tonight was all about him. She would pull out all the stops to make sure that her house was a little taste of heaven for him after the hell of seeing his poor, deteriorating wife at The Pines.

    Chapter 4

    As Gladys Coffey showed the slim, dark-haired woman into the lounge, her calm and friendly smile belied all the activity going on in her brain. Gladys might have had the title ‘Housekeeper’ but she was so much more than that: protector, guard dog and, if it came to it, bouncer. Her brain was fast-screening the woman in the plain black suit for any signs of artifice, any hidden agenda. She could usually sniff out an interloper at one hundred paces, but, for once, her radar was circling smoothly without encountering the slightest blip.

    ‘Please sit down, Mrs Hawk,’ said Gladys. ‘Can I get you a cup of tea?’

    ‘Thank you, but don’t go to any trouble on my account. I’m fine.’

    Joan Hawk smiled and Gladys saw how generous and full her lips were. Coupled with those nice dark-brown eyes and sharp cheekbones, they meant Mrs Hawk would be a very attractive woman if she applied some make-up and unloosened her long hair from that tight, frumpy ponytail. Luckily Mrs Hawk seemed as far removed from her predatory namesake as could possibly be, if this introduction to her was any guide. She was as dull as a beige bungalow. Absolutely perfect. Lord Edwin Carlton was a very rich old man and was getting more doddery by the day. And he was lonely. Gladys didn’t want him falling prey to a flattering line of banter and a pretty face.

    ‘Lord Carlton will be with you shortly,’ said Gladys as she left the room. She could tell him to go in now that Mrs Hawk had passed the first stage of the interview – i.e. she had got past Gladys.

    As the door closed behind the housekeeper, Joan Hawk looked around her at the opulent lounge with its plush sofas and huge picture windows framing a view of the sea in the distance. It was beautiful here; she had a good feeling about the place. It was what just she, a poor impoverished young widow, needed: solitude, space and in such a splendid setting. She looked up at the portraits on the wall. Mostly they were of old men in powdered wigs, their faces preserved in oil. But taking centre stage, above the great fireplace, was a stunning depiction of a woman in a navy-blue dress. A woman with long dark hair, brown eyes and full red lips. A woman with shapely legs, full breasts and a tiny nipped-in waist. She was the woman Joan could so easily be with a little powder and paint and the right clothes.

    Joan had seen the advertisement for a clerical assistant in The Countess and couldn’t get on the Internet fast enough to look up more details. She could hardly believe her luck: Carlton Hall was huge and inhabited by one solitary old man with no heir. Joan could smell the rich pickings from a mile away. Not only would there be treasures around the house to palm but the possibility of becoming Lady Carlton was in the bag if she played her cards right – and play them right she would because lonely, rich, older men were her speciality.

    Joan did her homework thoroughly. There were hardly any details about the immediate area but the nearest towns, Wellem and Whitby, had lots of information about them. Joan decided that she would say she came from Wellem, presuming, quite rightly, that it might be advantageous to say she was a fairly local girl. These old village types were more likely to trust someone who came from the area.

    Her thoughts were interrupted by the door swinging open and in walked a slight, wiry man. Joan knew he was seventy but he looked much older, his back stooping with age, his ghost-white hair as thin as gossamer at the sides but much thicker on top, thanks to an obvious toupee. He was dressed immaculately in a brown suit, with a folded blue handkerchief in his top pocket and a matching cravat at his neck. Lord Edwin Carlton himself.

    ‘Good morning, good morning,’ he said with a surprisingly strong voice for someone who looked as if a breath of wind might be able to lift him off his feet. ‘Delighted to meet you, Mrs Hawk.’ He extended a small, soft hand.

    ‘Joan, please,’ she said, standing to shake it. Her firm grip echoed his.

    ‘Well, delighted to meet you, Joan,’ he said, and as he sat down he trilled a little laugh that told Joan Hawk he instantly felt at ease in her company. ‘Do sit down. Would you like some tea or coffee?’

    Joan saw his pupils dilate ever so slightly as his eyes rested fully on her. She was very good at spotting such things.

    ‘Your housekeeper very kindly asked me but I didn’t want to put her to any trouble.’ She gave a regretful little shrug which sent a clear message that she did want some refreshments really.

    Edwin rose dutifully from the ornate French sofa and skipped almost skittishly across the room and out of the door, returning a couple of minutes later.

    ‘Gladys is on the case. We shall have tea,’ he announced. ‘Now where were we?’

    Joan saw him glance quickly at the portrait above the fireplace. She knew he was thinking that there was much more than a passing similarity between them.

    ‘My last secretary, alas, left things in rather a mess,’ said Edwin, sitting down again. He sighed heavily. ‘Then again, she was seventy-nine and very forgetful.’

    Joan nodded sympathetically, hoping that the smirk of early victory which was threatening to lift up the corners of her mouth didn’t show. Did anyone say ‘secretary’ any more? She would have been forgiven for thinking she had just zipped back in time to the fifties.

    ‘I’m an expert at organization,’ said Joan, imbuing her voice with an equal balance of softness and self-confidence. ‘As you have no doubt ascertained from my C V, I come highly recommended.’

    ‘None better, none better.’ Edwin nodded. ‘This is the first time I’ve actually advertised for anyone. I’ve always used local ladies as secretaries before but . . .’

    The door opened and in came the burly figure of Gladys pushing a tea trolley with a very old and delicate china tea service on it. She must have either had it all ready or zoomed around like a Tasmanian devil getting it together, thought Joan. She saw Edwin’s face light up at the sight of the tiered plates of cakes. This man has a sweet tooth, she immediately deduced. He was almost clapping his hands together at the sight of the Victoria sponge. All the better for a heart attack.

    As Gladys poured the tea, Joan could tell that her ear was cocked towards the conversation.

    ‘So you were saying you’ve always used local ladies before,’ said Joan. Edwin opened his mouth to speak, but Gladys butted in.

    ‘There’s no one suitable in the village,’ she said.

    ‘At least no one under seventy,’ added Edwin. ‘I was born not far from here,’ said Joan. ‘At the other side of Wellem.’

    Edwin smiled broadly. ‘Were you really?’ he said, as pleased as if she had just told him she was from Camelot and had a huge lottery-winner’s cheque for him. He turned to Gladys for approval. ‘Isn’t that encouraging, Gladys? A local girl.’

    Joan saw Gladys’s eyebrows lift. She only ‘hmm’ed’ but Joan could tell she was impressed. The old bag was clearly softening. It was another good call; they did prefer local folk working for them. She had been right. Gladys might have been an expert at reading people but Joan was a grand master.

    ‘Milk, sugar?’ asked Gladys.

    ‘Milk and one sugar, please,’ Joan answered. Women like Gladys trusted women who had sugar. They weren’t as self-obsessed, preoccupied by their weight. For the same reason, Joan leaned over and took a Victoria sponge slice. Women trusted women who ate cake. Especially women who complimented the women who had made the cake.

    ‘Oh, this is so light,’ flattered Joan. ‘Is the baker local?’

    ‘I made it myself, actually,’ said Gladys. Joan could see she was trying not to beam.

    ‘Oh.’ Joan showed the right amount of surprise. The sort of delighted shock that was tempered with admiration without sliding into sycophancy. ‘It’s lovely.’ And there was no better way to say that it was lovely than to wolf it down and reach for another slice. ‘I love home-baked stuff. It goes straight to my hips but I can’t resist it.’

    She saw Mrs Coffey smile a smile that reached up to her eyes and totally engulfed them. The woman was defrosted and it had taken only two little pieces of sponge and a cube of sugar to do it. There was no need for any more to be eaten now. Joan hated anything that could affect her perfect figure.

    ‘So,’ said Edwin, the word heralding that the interview was to be resumed and Mrs Coffey could go. He waited until she had. ‘There’s a cottage in the grounds that comes with the job. Gladys has had it cleaned and repainted. It’s small but comfortable.’

    I’ve got the job, said Joan to herself, but she contained her delight and nodded at his words as if hooked on every one of them.

    ‘To recap, then,’ continued Edwin. ‘You’re a local girl with a flair for organization. And my housekeeper likes you.’

    ‘Well,’ began Joan, making a girlishly extravagant gesture of wiping crumbs from her face with delicate dabbings of fingertips, ‘I like to think I’m as organized as anyone can be and if your housekeeper likes me then that’s great because I hate not getting on with anyone I work with.’

    Lord Edwin Carlton held his hand out. ‘Then that’s good enough for me. Welcome to Carlton Hall, Mrs Hawk. You’re hired.’

    Everyone wants happiness,

    no one wants pain,

    but you can’t make a rainbow

    without a little rain.

    ANON

    August

    Chapter 5

    Lara tried to chop the red pepper like Delia Smith – the knife tip never leaving the board and the heel doing the cutting, in an action apparently reminiscent of rowing a boat – but Keely’s laser gaze was putting her off any rhythm and the knife was going all over the place.

    Really, she didn’t know why she was bothering to make her speciality pasta dish. Keely and Garth would both sit at the table, poking at it with their forks as if it were a dead animal, and then, when it had gone completely cold, push their plates into the middle of the table and announce that they didn’t like it and were off to see what else was available.

    Lara prided herself on being quite a good cook – not as good as the domestic goddess that was her friend Clare, of course, but then Clare could have given Nigella a run for her money. She was always sending Lara recipes on email which she had tried and tested. Even so, in the three months that she had been living with James and his children, nothing she had put in front of his eleven-year–old son, Garth, the Olympic nose-picking champion, and his fourteen-going-on-forty-five-year-old daughter, Keely, had hit the button. Home-made fish and chips, pasta, rice, chicken, steak, lamb, fajitas – you name it, she’d tried it all. And yet everything had been greeted with pairs of curled-up Elvis lips.

    ‘What’s that supposed to be?’ said Keely at last, upping her silent staring treatment to something more active. She stood leaning against the worktop, arms folded, her whole body oozing teenage attitude.

    ‘Beef pasta,’ Lara answered, forcing a jolly Doris Day smile.

    ‘What sort of pasta?’

    ‘Cavatappi. The curly stuff.’

    ‘So it’s spag bol with curly pasta instead of the long thin variety?’

    Lara blew her cheeks out.

    ‘Well, it is and it isn’t. This one has got a few more ingredients in it than a spag bol,’ replied Lara, feeling her face begin to heat up and begging it not to. It would only give Keely the satisfaction that once again she had ‘got’ to her.

    ‘Like what?’

    ‘Courgettes.’

    ‘I hate courgettes.’

    ‘And mushrooms.’

    ‘I hate mushrooms.’

    Lara knew it wasn’t really the food, it was her – Lara – that was the problem. And not only because she was Lara, Keely’s father’s live-in lover, but because she wasn’t her: the one whose name haunted her. The one whose name was on the edge of Keely’s tongue, just waiting to run free into the air at every available opportunity. And sure enough, when Keely opened her mouth again that name sprang like To m Daly off the top diving board.

    ‘When Tianne used to stay over, she made the best spag bol in the world.’

    ‘Oh, did she?’ Lara tried to look and sound composed, but she didn’t quite bring it off. That bloody name. Tianne (a compound of Tina-Anne) Lee. Tianne used to make us laugh like drains. Tianne used to be an absolute riot. Tianne’s farts smelled of Chanel Number Five. Bloody Tianne. More and more Lara felt like the unnamed heroine in Rebecca, but in her case it wasn’t James’s ex-wife, Miriam, that was ruffling up the waves, but bloody Tianne Lee, James’s ex-girlfriend: the equivalent of the first Mrs de Winter. Except she wasn’t dead. She was alive and well and living in a trendy flat in Notting Hill with her swishy dark-brown hair, spray-tanned skin and incapable-of-being-closed legs.

    Lara glanced up at the clock to see it was ten past eight. She stirred the sauce with annoyance. Why was James getting back in from work later and later? Especially when she told him that tonight she was leaving the office early in order to make everyone a family meal. Even more especially because it was Friday night and who didn’t want to rush home at the weekend? She had never realized that children could cause such stress – especially ones who so obviously resented her. She badly needed James at home to smooth the way and support her because the situation wasn’t getting better however much she’d hoped it would. He was the bridge between them and without him around, the two sides would never unite in an arc of cordiality.

    Before she’d moved in she’d taken the time to try to get to know Keely and Garth, and even though they were quiet when she used to visit, she had presumed that they might grow to like her, because she was keen to like them. Lara had had a happy childhood, despite her family not having much money. She certainly didn’t have the privileges that James’s children had, but she was always loved and well fed and felt safe. The last thing she’d ever wanted to do was make the children feel threatened by her, and she’d been prepared to do anything to make them get on with her. She had tried everything and had even looked up on the Internet how to win over a partner’s offspring. None of it had worked. It was as if they knew she was pulling out all the stops to befriend them and the aim of their game was to block all attempts. Lara had cried to herself in the bath a few times but James merely said they would ‘come around eventually’. The twelfth of never would happen before ‘eventually’ did, she thought.

    Lara had been so excited about bringing her belongings into James’s beautiful large house and becoming part of his family, but lovely Manor Gardens in Dorking had turned out to be anything but a sanctuary. James had dismissed his children’s inability to warm to his new lover as a mere teething problem. Yet although he knew that she wasn’t comfortable in the house without him, his getting-home time seemed to be delayed by a further twenty minutes with every passing week. At this rate, it wouldn’t be long before he would be arriving home at the time he should be setting back off for work.

    ‘Where are you, for God’s sake, James?’ she said under her breath. ‘Help.’

    ‘Dad’s late, isn’t he?’ said Keely, still doing her best staring, but this time she added an annoying sneer to her face. ‘Again.’

    ‘Yes, he is.’ Lara sighed.

    ‘He was never late home when he was going out with Tianne. He used to race in so he

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