Climbing the Ladder in Stilettos: 10 Strategies for Stepping Up to Success and Satisfaction at Work

Praise for Climbing the Ladder in Stilettos

"Though I know nothing about stilettos, I do know good business practices, and so does Lynette Lewis. In Climbing the Ladder in Stilettos she offers insightful strategies that will positively impact your work. Every woman needs to read this book!"

JOHN C. MAXWELL

New York Times Best-Selling Author and Speaker

Founder of INJOY Stewardship Services and Equip

Books and shoes are my weakness! After reading this practical guide to success in your career and personal life, you might agree as you ‘pair’ the combo. How beneficial to use them as a competitive strength!

GABRIELA FERRARI

Global Business Intelligence, Nike

A fun read and worth it!

GENEVIEVE BOS

Co-Founder and Publisher, PINK Magazine

Lynette is a national treasure! Not only did she inspire and motivate our CEO’s, but she also equipped them with practical, proven tools that they could use to connect their corporate purpose to the individual purpose of each of their team members.

LANE A. KRAMER

President, The CEO Institute

As a frequent speaker for the Leadership Forum, Lynette Lewis is always a powerhouse of seasoned expertise, savvy insight, and fun. Now she puts these same ideas to paper, a gift to every reader! Speaking or writing, she captivates an audience like few others I know.

CAROLE HYATT

Founder and CEO, The Leadership Forum

"Climbing the Ladder in Stilettos is a fabulous strategic framework for achieving professional and personal fulfillment that draws on real life experiences."

CELINA REALUYO

Former Senior U.S. Diplomat and

Goldman Sachs International Banker

Lynette Lewis has compiled magnificent lessons, valuable insights, and sound strategies for women eager to advance their careers, and more importantly, to find joy and satisfaction at work.

JOYCE ROCHÉ

President and CEO, Girls Incorporated

CLIMBING

the

LADDER

in

Stilettos

CLIMBING THE LADDER IN STILETTOS

© 2006 Lynette Lewis

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or any other—except for brief quotation in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Thomas Nelson, Inc. titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fund-raising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail [email protected].

Cover Design: Karen Williams

Page Design: Mandi Cofer

Acquisitions Editor: Debbie Wickwire

Managing Editor: Adria Haley

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Lewis, Lynette.

        Climbing the ladder in stilettos : ten strategies for stepping up to success and satisfaction at work / Lynette Lewis.

            p. cm.

        Includes bibliographical references.

        ISBN-978-0-8499-0186-7 (hardcover)

        ISBN 978-1-5955-5144-3 (trade paper)

        1. Women—Vocational guidance. 2. Women in the professions.

     3. Women—Promotions. I. Title.

     HF5382.6.L49 2006

     650.1082—dc22

2006025932

Printed in the United States of America

08 09 10 11 12 RRD 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

I joyfully dedicate this book to my parents—

Geneva Troyer

Mom, you're my lifelong best friend.

For forty-four years, your love, comfort, and prayers have

carried the constant, joyful theme of Yes!

Howard Troyer

Dad, you are wisdom, character, and faith personified.

You taught me about the world of business.

Without saying a word, your life shouts success.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Women and Our Shoes

1. Why Am I Working?

Strategy #1: Create a Purpose Statement for Life and Work

2. These People Are Driving Me Crazy!

Strategy #2: Become Personally Whole

3. No One Appreciates Me Around Here!

Strategy #3: Adopt Methods for Gaining New Joy and Satisfaction

4. Is This All I’m Working For? There Must Be Something More!

Strategy #4: Discover Gifts in Surprising Places

5. I’m Unrecognized, Unappreciated, and Underpaid!

Strategy #5: Follow the Four Principles of Promotion and Build Your Personal Brand

6. How Do I Get from Great Idea to Dream Come True?

Strategy #6: Organize a Personal Board of Directors

7. Can I Really Thrive in Leadership?

Strategy #7: Implement Creative Tools That Maximize Everyone on the Team

8. Who, Me? Speak in Public?

Strategy #8: Follow an Approach to Speaking That Works Every Time

9. I Need Great Mentors, but Isn’t Everyone Just Too Busy?

Strategy #9: Expand Your Definition of Mentoring

10. Different Than What I Thought, Better Than What I Imagined

Strategy #10: View Your Life Through the Lens of Hope and Possibility

Notes

About the Author

Acknowledgments

I wanted to write a book but didn’t know how. These are the gifted artists who helped turn an average voice into a symphony.

Esther Fedorkevich. From our first conversation over coffee at 50th and Broadway, your enthusiasm and confidence have kept me believing. I am so grateful for you.

Amy Gregory. You took my many random ideas and molded them into one concept that made sense. What a talent you are!

Brent Cole. My coach and guide. Thanks for the excellent education and for the calm confidence you brought on all those Friday mornings.

Angel Wolfe. Tireless even after midnight, you parachuted in at just the right moment and added so much.

Debbie Wickwire. Meeting you has been my favorite gift in all of this! You are the epitome of professionalism and a treasured new friend. Thank you for helping craft and carry the vision for this book from day one.

The Thomas Nelson team. I've heard of publishing nightmares, but you have been a dream. Thank you for taking the seeds of an idea and making them great.

Eutha Godfrey, Genie Lewis, Lois Cox, Pam Pulsfort, Alice Rhee, and Katye Rone. Someday a full accounting of your investments will be adequately rewarded. Thank you for the strength of your agreement, for every note and every call.

Carole Hyatt. You generously brought so many incredible women to this project. I am filled with gratitude for you—mentor, encourager, partner, and friend.

The MSNY and KPIC families. If you see me dabbing my eyes on Sundays, it’s because I’m overwhelmed at the privilege of doing life with you.

Nathan, Christian, Jordan, and JohnLuke. You are the most treasured surprise gifts of all time. Thanks for being genuinely interested in this story.

My husband and soul mate, Ron. You are my over-and-above-all-I-asked-or-hoped- for love! Thank you for your joyful smile that continually says, Go for it!

And God, my Savior. This is all for Your glory. I am humbled You would open doors as rich and satisfying as these.

Women and Our Shoes

Riding the subways of New York City each week, I’m amazed at how many women wear one pair of shoes to work, change into another pair at work, and carry yet another pair for plans after work.

Our lives as working women can often be reflected in our collection of shoes. We have so many roles and so many shoes to fill.

I often think of a friend who was asked to fill a bag with items that would help the others in her group at a leadership event understand more about who she is. She filled the bag with a dozen shoes and described the experiences she’d had wearing each one: the running shoes she wore in a marathon, the sensible heels in which she defended her PhD dissertation, and her favorite pair of stilettos worn at a black-tie event where she received an achievement award.

Ah yes, we do enjoy our shoes. Last year, American women spent nearly $17 billion on fashion footwear between October 2004 and October 2005. If you think that sounds like a lot, you’re right; it’s a 10 percent increase over the year before!¹

Now, when you want to climb a ladder, you don’t typically slip on a pair of stilettos. Some would say you can’t or shouldn’t, insisting, Climbing ladders is dangerous. It’s a man’s job, and it requires rubber-soled shoes.

Likewise, advancing a career as a woman is no simple task. It can be a slippery slope. There is juggling involved and a great deal of balance required. But regardless of how we describe it, climbing the corporate ladder is simply this: a real challenge.

Regardless of how we describe it, climbing the corporate ladder is simply this: a real challenge.

The title of this book is a metaphor for the challenges women face in today’s working world. Climbing a ladder (a typically masculine task) in stilettos (a feminine fashion icon) sounds almost laughable. At the very least, it sounds more like a circus feat than a legitimate endeavor. For years, that’s how it felt for me. Some days, it still does.

Nevertheless, if we believe in our path, we should continue moving upward with our collection of shoes in tow.

Personally, I’m not a big fan of ladders. Just the other afternoon while helping my husband hang new curtains in our living room, I had to climb a ladder and found it quite precarious, even in running shoes.

I am, however, a fan of stilettos. Though I certainly don’t wear them every day, and rarely at work, my stilettos tend to accompany the many roles I play:

Bullet the professional in conservative black stilettos with a gray pencil skirt and silk button-down blouse;

Bullet the single woman, and later the wife, wearing strappy stilettos with a favorite dinner dress;

Bullet the fun-loving friend on a Friday night in leopard-print stilettos with designer jeans.

Amid the many roles you also play, thank you for picking up this book. I am honored that you would take some of your very precious time to walk with me through these pages. Ideally, rather than you reading, I wish we were together in person, chatting over a cup of coffee or a glass of iced tea out on my front porch.

I’d ask you how you’ve been doing lately. Are you fulfilled in your work? What has been on your heart as you think about how and where you spend your days? Do you have a sense of expectancy and joy about the future? What are your greatest challenges? Tell me about your children or your latest travels. If you could do anything in the world without the fear of failing, what would you do?

I think we’d find that we have much in common. As women, we hope for many of the same things, worry over similar trials, and long for more time and meaning and joy. We’d probably laugh as we share common experiences and get teary-eyed as we talk about the times we wondered how we’d ever make it through.

Perhaps someday our paths will cross, and you and I will have the pleasure of meeting in person. In the meantime, we can carry on our conversation in the pages of this book. I will ask you much about yourself and in return will offer you insights into my personal journey of climbing the proverbial ladder. I’ve done it as a single woman, a wife, a new mother, and a professional who highly values her work.

It has by no means been a storybook climb. There have been seasons filled with unanswered questions and anger at closed doors and delays. There have also been times of deep joy and opportune surprise. There have been days when I didn’t feel like I was going anywhere.

I personally never intended to step up the corporate ladder. I figured I’d work a few years out of college at something fun and then meet the man of my dreams, get married, and have the luxury of choosing whether or not to continue working.

My story turned out to be much different than I expected. Yet after twenty-two years in the corporate world, I recognize patterns of thinking and working that have enabled me to find an abiding joy and satisfaction along the way. These are lessons sometimes learned the hard way, lessons I now share when speaking to women of all ages and vocations throughout each year. I have by no means done it perfectly, but I have adjusted along the way and stayed the course.

On the pages that follow, you will hear many stories in addition to my own. I will introduce you to some incredible women. They include new and old friends, some of whom are longtime mentors who from near and far have taught me many of the strategies I will share on the pages to come: Bridgette Heller, president of the global baby and kids division of Johnson & Johnson; Cecily Truett, sixteen-time Emmy-winning television producer; Sylvia Hatchell, head women’s basketball coach for the University of North Carolina; and Denise Johnston, president of the adult division at The Gap. These are just a few of the women whose stories I hope will also inspire you in specific, practical new ways.

You are designed for greatness. Your heart, mind, spirit, and soul do not easily accommodate mediocrity.

I invite you to take in each story and every lesson, reflecting on how you can apply them to your own career and life. These are women like you and me who hope for all the joy, meaning, success, and satisfaction that are available to us if we know where to look for them and how to look at them. Why would we spend the majority of our waking hours doing something that yields anything less?

There are a couple of key premises throughout the book that I should mention before we get started. The first is that you are designed for greatness. Your heart, mind, spirit, and soul do not easily accommodate mediocrity. Something inside of each of us yearns to be set apart from the crowd, to be recognized for something significant, to be able to achieve in ways that set a new standard of excellence and inspire those watching to do the same for themselves.

I’m a personal fan of the cable channel HGTV (Home and Garden Television). I love watching professional designers work with ordinary people to transform their lackluster homes into things of beauty. It’s fascinating to see what a few creative ideas and minimal investments can do to bring a room or home to a place of beauty and greatness.

Our lives are often so similar. There is a place of excellence and greatness that awaits us if we can just rally the right resources to help us get there. My hope is that this book in your hands will be one of those resources, helping you craft a new vision of what your life at work can be, providing ideas and practical tools for beginning today on a journey to the most satisfying and rewarding life possible, on and off the job.

The second premise is that we are all waiting and yearning for something. You may be at a place of contentment in every area of your life. If so, be grateful because you are not in the majority. Most of us are still longing for something significant in one or more areas of our lives. It may be for a crucial promotion, for our wayward children to return home, for the relationship of our dreams to emerge, to have a baby, to get through our physical setbacks . . . The list goes on and on.

It is the tension between our vision of greatness and the challenges of waiting that often brings discouragement and stress. We miss the simple joys of today and often experience years of discontentment. This tension is evident in statistics such as these:

Bullet 60 percent of women participate in the U.S. labor force.

Bullet 40 percent of working women work evenings, nights, or weekends on a regular basis, and 33 percent work shifts different than their spouses or partners.

Bullet 23 percent of women executives and professionals, globally, say they feel super-stressed.

Bullet 25 percent of mothers who work full-time and have children under thirteen feel stress almost every day.²

The tension in my own life compelled me to search with resolve to find a place of satisfaction and joy. I laughed, cried, prayed, and spent hours talking with hundreds of women en route to discovering a few key tools that, after much testing, have proven to reap tangible rewards and sustainable results.

Here on these pages are some of those women and a few of the tools we have acquired along the way. It’s certainly not an exhaustive list, but perhaps it is enough to give you some key insights that will inspire a sense of expectancy and motivation in your own career journey, regardless of where you are now.

Thank you for the pleasure of your company. I hope that the time you invest here yields a great reward in your daily life. We are on this journey together, still learning and still climbing, always considering just which shoes we ought to wear!

I stopped one day after reviewing a video I had just produced for IBM.

It was a