Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    From $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Losing It
    Losing It
    Losing It
    Ebook267 pages4 hours

    Losing It

    By Cora Carmack

    4/5

    ()

    Switch to audiobook
    Read preview

    • Friendship

    • College Life

    • Self-Discovery

    • Personal Growth

    • Relationships

    • Friends to Lovers

    • Forbidden Love

    • Opposites Attract

    • Love at First Sight

    • Misunderstandings

    • Virgin Heroine

    • Unrequited Love

    • Slow Burn Romance

    • Secret Relationship

    • Teacher-Student Relationship

    • Love & Relationships

    • Trust

    • Love

    • Intimacy

    • Communication

    About this ebook

    The first in a fantastic New Adult series from New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Cora Carmack

    Virginity.

    Bliss Edwards is about to graduate from college and still has hers. Sick of being the only virgin among her friends, she decides the best way to deal with the problem is to lose it as quickly and simply as possible—a one-night stand. But her plan turns out to be anything but simple when she freaks out and leaves a gorgeous guy alone and naked in her bed with an excuse that no one with half-a-brain would ever believe. And as if if that weren’t embarrassing enough, when she arrives for her first class of her last college semester, she recognizes her new theatre professor. She’d left him naked in her bed about 8 hours earlier.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarperCollins
    Release dateDec 5, 2012
    ISBN9780062273253
    Author

    Cora Carmack

    Cora Carmack is a twentysomething New York Times bestselling author who likes to write about twentysomething characters. Raised in a small Texas town, she now lives in New York City and spends her time writing, traveling, and marathoning various television shows on Netflix.

    Read more from Cora Carmack

    Related to Losing It

    Titles in the series (3)

    View More
    View More

    Related ebooks

    Contemporary Romance For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • UNLIMITED

      Meant To Be

      Aug 11, 2020

      Meant To Be
      6 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Supportive Husband

      Sep 12, 2023

      There were less intimate places available, so it was odd when a woman took the seat directly facing mine across the subway aisle. I looked up from my book and right back down: a couple of months before, we’d gone home together. She had a Southern acc

      22 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Righteous

      Jan 22, 2019

      Righteous
      8 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Love, Lust, and More

      Feb 12, 2020

      Fleetwood Mac was singing She is dancing away from you now, and I squirmed in my seat. Kabir was rubbing my thigh as he drove, a gesture I once thought was reserved for me. Bah! I also used to think he only took naked selfies in bed with me, but then

      11 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      The Birthday Party

      Nov 4, 2021

      The Birthday Party
      9 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Prey

      May 10, 2021

      As I drove slowly towards the mob of angry protestors and my meeting with 200, I thought of 199. The ashes of a once hard man, staring at me with wide eyes that pleaded for hope like a dog begging for treats. I’d somehow found a way to give him that

      41 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      The Devil You Know

      Jul 10, 2021

      I met the Devil today. He was walking down main street, right by the undertaker in B____, which is a little town near here, and which, for obvious reasons, I’d better not name. I recognized him straight away because he had furry legs with hooves for

      8 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Paul O’grady

      Sep 12, 2022

      Paul O’grady
      5 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Sisters and DAUGHTERS

      Jan 23, 2024

      Sisters and DAUGHTERS
      6 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Uncontrollable, Irrelevant

      Dec 6, 2022

      My sister called me the other day. She wanted to let me know that I had once more been merciless and cruel in my relations with our parents. “They say there’s a lot of anger in you,” she said. “It makes them mad. It hurts their feelings. They think y

      14 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Dead Reckoning

      Sep 9, 2020

      Dead Reckoning
      6 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Soul On Sale

      Aug 10, 2022

      I was waiting for the call at the telephone booth. I’d been waiting for fourteen or seventeen minutes and finally, I decided to leave. It was pointless. I only had a 20-dollar bill on me and no coins for the slot. Hard rain was coming, some type of s

      9 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      SETTLING Scores

      Aug 12, 2020

      SETTLING Scores
      9 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      A Gut feeling

      Sep 5, 2024

      A Gut feeling
      8 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Love Thy Neighbor?

      Aug 26, 2020

      Love Thy Neighbor?
      3 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Hot Tub Time Machine

      Feb 3, 2022

      Hot Tub Time Machine
      9 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Draw Me

      Jul 5, 2023

      Draw Me
      2 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Kane and Abel

      Feb 10, 2024

      I boarded the train in Council Bluffs. The cargo headed for Cheyenne included a large sum of cash meant to be the payroll for a large mining operation. Any train moving large sums of cash and passengers with all their earthly belongings was a target.

      9 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      The Fortune Teller

      Jul 10, 2021

      My head has a liquid feel to it as I stumble down the street. The bottle of red wine in my belly making it seem like my limbs have become balloons, and at any moment they might float away. Next to me, Michael has a stupid whiskey grin stretched acros

      18 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Sisters and DAUGHTERS

      May 5, 2021

      Sisters and DAUGHTERS
      6 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Above Santa Cruz

      Jul 2, 2019

      Above Santa Cruz
      5 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Let’s Get Young

      Jan 1, 2019

      Let’s Get Young
      8 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Not That Story

      Oct 28, 2017

      Not That Story
      7 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      A New Beginning

      Mar 26, 2022

      A New Beginning
      4 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Losing It

    4/5

    445 ratings36 reviews

    What our readers think

    Readers find this title to be a light-hearted and entertaining contemporary romance novel. The characters are well-developed and the story has a good pace. While some readers wished for more action and a more creative ending, overall, the book is described as a fun and quick read. The love story is simple and realistic, without grand gestures. The writing is engaging and the suspense of the relationship is enjoyed by many. Some readers felt that the book was too short and lacked character development, but still found it enjoyable. Overall, this book is recommended for those looking for a joyful and sweet read.

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 4/5
      New adult contemporary romance in which Bliss, a college senior, gets roped into a night out at a bar by her best friend in an attempt to wrangle Bliss a one night stand during which she can lose her virginity. At the bar, Bliss meets Garrick, who she has an immediate connection with, leaves with him, but finds that while she wants to have sex with him, she doesn't want to have sex yet. She runs out on him, embarrassed but sure she'll never see him again. The next day it turns outs Garrick is a last-minute semester-long substitute for one of her professors. And then things ensue. Entertaining with fun characters. Reminded me in tone a bit of a really nice romantic comedy. While Bliss has a nice revelation about sex and what it means for her, I would have liked a little more interrogation of why/if virginity matters and what that word even means. (Without going into graphic and spoilery detail, there was one moment in particular in the beginning that really made me say, "Ein Minuten bitte, she's going to do X with a dude but still consider herself a virgin, full stop, with no further consideration of the concept and/or why it matters to her?") Recommended for a fun read if you like this kind of thing.
    • 4/5
      This book is what I needed. It was fun, light and hilarious. I could not stopping laughing I think it was chapater 6. All I am going to say is.... "Stop! Cats! Stop!..." I think I almost peed my pants laughing so hard at this scene! I needed a good laugh and this book delivered.
    • 5/5
      This story was right up my street. It had everything I look for in a book; humour, sexiness and a good plotline. So in my opinion Cora Carmack is a genius!

      If you ask me, Garrick quite possibly pulled every single female reader within those first two chapters. Girls, he’s hot! In fact, Garrick seems pretty fecking perfect and I have to say I’m slightly jealous of Bliss. The rest of the characters are a fun bunch and when they do the whole getting drunk thing together I was laughing.

      If you’re looking for a fun, sexy read then I recommend this book. It’s amazing!
    • 5/5
      One of my favorite books in 2012! The only thing I could possible complain about is that this book is a stand alone and not a series. I LOVE Gerrick. He is charming and completely sexy. I laughed out loud reading this on numerous occasions. Cora Carmack completely enthralled me with her characters. I cannot recommend this book enough!
    • 5/5
      I really love it! Ohmylord... its amazing.. Love it!
    • 5/5
      I really loved this book. I loved it so much I read it in less than a day. I can’t wait to read Cade’s story and more from this author
    • 4/5
      Very fun quick read. Read the first chapter this morning and didn’t want to put it down. Purposely stayed up late to finish this baby.
    • 4/5
      Good book from start to finish. Loved the suspense of their relationship.
    • 4/5
      Very entertaining contemporary romance novel. Very cute and lighthearted. An easy read for a lazy afternoon.
    • 3/5
      Good pace on the storyline
      Would have liked to see more action
    • 5/5
      i was quite skeptical about this book at first....but i love it.

      The most funny part is this " Why hadn’t I told Garrick I had a cat named Lady Macbeth? That
      would have been so much more fitting". ....Got my ribs cracking. thumbs up Cora!
    • 3/5
      2.8 The story of a college student, virginal and completely self absorbed, filled with personal doubts, just isn't for me. It started out really cheesy just above high school drama, blech. I was ready to drop the book till a friend encouraged me to continue. Oh, very well, I finished. It did develop a more mature and fun story but it's still not something I enjoyed getting my reading feelings involved in. No more NA for me if I can avoid it
    • 5/5
      Another book that I won't forget especially how the author made me unstoppable reading this because of how the story flows, and how lovely the characters were. Another book has added on my Favorites List! A must read! ??
    • 4/5
      Although the plot could be categorised as overused already, this is still one of those feel-good books. I like that Garrick was not moulded to be someone rich and overly out of anyone's league. I love how simple their love story is and how it ended in a simple way. There wasn't any grand gestures or anything which, in truth, does not always happen in real life. If there's anything that could be done to better this book, the author could have had added more depth to the love story of the main characters. Regardless, I enjoyed reading it.
    • 3/5
      It was okay it need more sexual scenes hehe
    • 3/5
      Be careful, major spoilers. Read the book first please


      Book idea was great and characters were nice and varied. Biggest problem is shortness of the book, it feels rushed. Like there wasn’t enough character development on Garrick and Bliss’s end; their romance also needed much development as well(which it never got, but some how thy came to the conclusion that they loved each other) I just could really get into the book fully because of this disappointment, about half way through the book I started to realize this was happening and even before I started reading I noticed how abnormally short it was, I mean not even a sequel, really? Although they could have been falling in love with each other, being in love with such little development made no sense and felt very fabricated to me. Also main character was too selfish and I understand that no main character is ever perfect because they are people after all, she is just an asshole...totally disregarding Cade and treating him like shit...there wasn’t even enough time for development between them either or some type of real real resolution..one that was actually worked out, one where u could feel it..,showing and telling are too different things. I felt like the author told me things were resolved instead of showed me. Book had good potential but just kinda went off...also both main characters were extremely immature for their ages.
    • 3/5
      not a bad read. the ending was a little too quick for me. And the "problem" with them being together (the climax, if you will) wasn't really that big of a deal and was glossed over pretty quickly.
    • 3/5
      Pros: The voice and the writing are both well done. It's engaging and interesting.
      Cons: Maybe it's just because I like rules, but I wish they hadn't gotten together while he was her teacher. Self control is a good thing. Also, I just didn't like Garrick very much. He seemed ever-so-slightly sleazy to me. I loved Cade. I realllllllly wish Bliss had picked him instead. This book was also very shallow.
      So... I pretty much hated the story but enjoyed the writing.
    • 3/5
      3.5
    • 5/5
      Brilliant! Just brilliant.
    • 5/5
      A light hearted love story that you can curl up with and smile.
    • 3/5
      Good book, wasn't fond of the ending could've been more creative.
    • 5/5
      Loved it!!!
    • 2/5
      I enjoyed the main two characters. their relationship was pretty adorable. everyone else, not so much. The extraneous characters weren't fleshed out enough abd the odds with the two guys didn't develop will enough for me. I also didn't think the names matched the characters and that bothered me. It was ok. I think teens works enjoy this.
    • 5/5
      excellent
    • 5/5
      a joyful, fun, and sweet book
    • 5/5
      loved it. the characters are well developed. the story has you laughing a lot.
    • 4/5
      I listened to part 1 and put this aside as it seemed too young - the narrator sounds like she's 14. Nothing against Youth or Young Adult categories. They are just not always my cup of tea romance dramas.
    • 5/5
      Of all of the New Adult-labeled books I've read, Losing It is the one that comes closest to being what I ideally want. Though the focus remains on romance, Losing It does actually deal with normal, everyday college stresses. Bliss goes to class and thinks about her future. She has fights with friends and doesn't go through anything incredibly melodramatic. Only the relationship with her professor isn't something an average college student might experience, but even that does happen. Losing It is humorous, romantic, and largely realistic.

      The term slut-shaming gets tossed around a lot in book reviews, and it's certainly a big problem in fiction, which tends to really uphold virgins as the ideal. For those who object to the word 'slut,' I'm warning you that you will likely be offended by a handful of moments in Losing It. However, something that I've not really seen in fiction before and that Carmack handled perfectly is virgin-shaming, which is just as real.

      Bliss Edwards is in her senior year of college, age 22, and a virgin. The book opens with Bliss' confession to her best female friend, Kelsey, that she's never had sex. Bliss feels embarrassed and stunted for not having had this experience that most people her age have had. Now, as much as slut-shaming is a serious issue in our culture, Americans are just as uncomfortable with virgins. At a certain point, admitting you've not had sex marks you out as a freak. Around the end of college, somewhere from 20-22, being a virgin begins to feel like an onus one bears. People start making assumptions that you've incorrectly identified your sexuality (perhaps you're gay and afraid to admit it or asexual) or that you must have something terribly wrong with you. I know I feel this stigma in my own life.

      Carmack completely captures the feeling of being behind the curve on this, and how an attractive, social girl with a sex drive could put sex off. The way Bliss thinks about things and explains her lack of sex life are completely accurate to my own experience. In theory, sex is great, but the idea of actually having to have it is terrifying, because she likes to be in control of everything she does. She worries, too, about her lack of experience compared to others her age. Surely if she has sex now she'll be terrible at it, a thought horrible to contemplate. She also references being able to shut down her analytical, judgmental brain, which has always thrown her out of the mood. All of this is exactly how my own brain works, and I've spoken with friends who think the exact same way.

      At the beginning of Losing It, Bliss has decided she's sick of feeling a freak for being a virgin and that she just wants to get rid of her virginity. This impulse, as well, is one that I completely understand. Sometimes it feels like life would be much easier if you could just get that over with, like it's an ordeal to be got through, which really doesn't seem like the ideal motivation for having sex. Still, that's a realistic thought for Bliss to have.

      When you're a virgin over twenty for reasons that don't involve waiting for marriage, people like to tell you that "it will happen for you when you meet the right guy." Find him and your brain will shut up, and you'll be motivated enough to work through your issues and eventually have sex. This is the basic premise that Losing It is working from. I do take some issue with the fact that she goes out to a bar once and immediately picks up a hot, British guy, because life is never that easy, at least mine isn't, in which case I would like to upgrade my life now please. However, this is fiction, and such conveniences are what move a plot forward, so I'll accept it.

      What I'm so, so grateful for is that, even though Bliss has found the perfect guy who makes her brain shut off, that doesn't immediately make her ready. Garrick may be more than she ever dreamed of, and she feels more comfortable with him than with anyone who has come before, but she still freezes at the prospect of sex. Her issues don't just magically dissipate, like generally happens in fiction. Though she had every intention of having a one-night stand, her brain really isn't wired that way to let her do that, thus why she was still a virgin in the first place.

      Of course, for drama's sake, Garrick turns out to be a temporary professor for one of her theater classes. This serves to raise the stakes and create many awkward moments. For a teacher/student relationship, Carmack's done a good job, and I was still able to root for them, since they established a relationship of sorts before he started teaching, but I still would have preferred they wait to really get together until after the semester was over. Teacher/student romances are not my favorite, because the teacher has power over the student and favoritism comes into question. Carmack avoids the grading favoritism question, but Garrick does seem to be largely fair in his treatment of her as a teacher.

      I liked, too, the short-lived love triangle that emerges when Bliss realizes that one of her best friends has a crush on her. I've been in this situation before too (well, the friend with a crush, not the sexy British part that makes the triangle), and it is seriously awkward. There are so many feelings in the way that it can be hard to tell precisely how you feel about you're friend. You love them already, but is it the right sort of love? And they're so wonderful that you feel bad turning them down. Plus, what will happen to your friendship if you do or don't? Bliss handles this about as well as can be expected, which is to say that it's messy and uncomfortable.

      Garrick and Bliss do seem to fall for one another a bit too quickly, but that's college as well. Every emotion seems heightened, because you have so much free time to spend with people. Friendships and relationships come on quickly in those circumstances. The novel takes place over the course of a semester, so their relationship does take months to grow, even if it feels shorter because of the novel's brief duration.

      I do wish, however, that Carmack has skipped the epilogue. Though I was willing to accept the speed and seriousness of their relationship, I feel like the events in the epilogue were over the top. Plus, I'm really unsure as to why it had to be from Garrick's POV. That felt really out of place, and didn't really add anything to the scene.

      I have to reward Losing It high points for covering subject matter I've rarely seen touched in fiction and for giving me many feels. Carmack's debut is funny, awkward, sexy, and romantic. If you've been disappointed in the New Adult offerings thus far for not having anything actually to do with the experience of being in college, then you really might want to try Losing It.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      When I first read the synopsis about this book it was on another blogger's site and they were looking for people to sign up for a cover reveal. By the end of the synopsis I knew I had to sign up because I had so many different ideas in my head about what it might look like. When I finally started the book, I had so many of the same thoughts going in my head about how the book itself might be. And it surpassed all those thoughts and was even better than I imagined.
      The biggest thing I loved about this book was the characters. They were so easy to connect with. Bliss was so awkward it was funny and Garrick was nothing less than amazing. And those were just the main characters. Carmack didn't leave the "supporting roles" (no pun intended) flat, they were full of life as well and gave more meaning to the story. Especially Cade who has earned his own book because he was such a hurt, interesting character. (See more about Cade's story HERE) And then there's Garrick. Don't let me get started on him. I mean, he was blonde, had blue eyes, rode a motorcycle, and had stacks and stacks of books around his apartment. There's no way I COULD ignore him! (Just looking at the cover I knew I couldn't ignore him lol)
      As for the romance, it blew me away. I'm already drawn to forbidden romance, and with Bliss falling for her teacher, there's nothing that could be more forbidden. But even still, with it being that way, it still seemed effortless. They were very much in love with each other and it showed. Carmack did an amazing job with portraying all the feelings in this story. When they were sick, it really seemed that they were sick. When they were so joyous after Opening Night, I really felt that same joy. I connected with this story like no other.
      This book had me laughing the entire time. From the awkwardness of Bliss to the sarcastic humor that Garrick had, I fell in love with this book from the beginning. I cannot wait to see what else that Carmack has in store for us. This was a refreshing New Adult that gave me just enough hotness without going overboard and I definitely appreciated that.

    Book preview

    Losing It - Cora Carmack

    1

    I took a deep breath.

    You are awesome. I didn’t quite believe it, so I thought it again.

    Awesome. You are so awesome.

    If my mother heard my thoughts, she’d tell me that I needed to be humble, but humility had gotten me nowhere.

    Bliss Edwards, you are a freaking catch.

    So then how did I end up twenty-two years old and the only person I knew who had never had sex?

    Somewhere between Saved by the Bell and Gossip Girl, it became unheard of for a girl to graduate college with her V-card still in hand.

    And now I was standing in my room, regretting that I’d gathered the courage to admit it to my friend Kelsey. She reacted like I’d just told her I was hiding a tail underneath my A-line skirt. And I knew before her jaw even finished dropping that this was a terrible idea.

    "Seriously? Is it because of Jesus? Are you, like, saving yourself for him?"

    Sex seemed simpler for Kelsey. She had the body of a Barbie and the sexually charged brain of a teenage boy.

    No, Kelsey, I said. It would be a little difficult to save myself for someone who died over two thousand years ago.

    Kelsey whipped off her shirt and threw it on the floor. I must have made a face because she looked at me and laughed.

    Relax, Princess Purity, I’m just changing shirts. She stepped into my closet and started flipping through my clothes.

    Why?

    Because, Bliss, classes start tomorrow, and we’ll soon be busy with auditions and rehearsals, and homework. We’re starting your senior year bucket list right now. Tonight, we’re getting you laid. She said the word laid with a curl of her tongue that reminded me of those late-night commercials for those adult phone lines.

    Jesus, Kelsey.

    She pulled out a shirt that was snug on me and would be downright scandalous on her curvy frame.

    What? You said it wasn’t about him.

    I resisted the urge to slam my palm into my forehead.

    It’s not, I don’t think . . . I mean, I go to church and all, well, sometimes. I just . . . I don’t know. Stop prude-shaming me.

    Kelsey held up her hands. That’s fair. You’ve never shamed me for my slutty ways, so I owe you at least that much. But help me understand. If it’s not about religion, what is it about?

    I shrugged and played with a fraying thread on the bottom of my tank top.

    Truthfully, I’ve just never been that interested.

    She paused with her new shirt halfway on and tilted her head.

    Are you gay? Because that’s totally cool. And I know some smoking lesbians in the art department.

    I once overheard my mother, who can’t understand why I’m about to graduate college without a ring on my finger, ask my father the same question.

    No, Kelsey, I’m not gay, so keep putting your shirt on. No need to fall on your sexual sword for me.

    So if you’re not gay, and it’s not Jesus, then maybe it’s just a matter of finding the right guy, or should I say . . . the right sexual sword. She waggled her eyebrows.

    Gee? Is that all? Find the right guy? Why didn’t someone tell me sooner?

    It’s not that I’d never dated. I just didn’t date the way other people did. I almost never felt that all-consuming push toward another person. When I saw a hot guy, I could logically acknowledge he was attractive, but I didn’t fall in lust at first sight the way so many of my friends did.

    Kelsey pulled her blond hair back into an extremely high ponytail, and said, I don’t mean the right guy to marry, honey. That’s way too much pressure. I mean the right guy to get your blood pumping. To make you turn off your analytical, judgmental, hyperactive brain and enjoy things with your body instead.

    Bodies can’t think.

    "See! she said. Analytical. Judgmental."

    I chewed on my lower lip, deciding how far I was willing to take this. It’s true that I often spent too much time thinking, weighing all the options. I wasn’t the best at living in the present. And if ever there was going to be a time for me to try things a little differently, senior year of college was that time. Soon, my life would be consumed with bills and loan repayments and trying to figure out how to be an artist without the starving bit. What could it hurt?

    Fine. I let out a long breath. Which illustrious establishment will be the setting of our adventure tonight?

    Stumble Inn, of course.

    I groaned. Classy.

    What? Kelsey looked at me like I was missing the answer to a really obvious question. "It’s a good bar. More importantly, it’s a bar that guys like. And since we do like guys, it’s a bar we like."

    It could be worse. She could be taking me to a club.

    Fine. Let’s go. I stood and headed for the curtain that separated my bedroom from the rest of my loft apartment.

    "Whoa! Whoa. She grabbed my elbow and pulled me so hard that I fell back on my bed. You can’t go like that."

    I looked down at my outfit—flowery A-line skirt and simple tank that showed a decent amount of cleavage. I looked cute. I could totally pick up a guy in this . . . maybe.

    I don’t see the problem, I said.

    She rolled her eyes, and I felt like a child. I hated feeling like a child, and I pretty much always did when talk turned to sex.

    "Honey, right now you look cute, like someone’s adorable little sister, Kelsey said, the barest trace of her Texas accent coming through. No guy wants to screw his little sister. And if he does, you don’t want to be near him."

    Yep, definitely felt like a child. Point taken.

    Hmm . . . sounds like you’re practicing turning off that overactive brain of yours. Good job. Now stand there and let me work my magic.

    And by magic, she meant torture.

    After vetoing all the shirts that showed my midriff, some pants that were more like leggings, and a skirt so short it threatened to show the world my hoo-hoo in the event of a mild breeze, we settled on some tight low-rise denim capris and a lacy black tank that stood out in contrast to my pale white skin.

    Legs shaved?

    I nodded.

    Other . . . things . . . shaved?

    As much as they are ever going to be, yes, now move on. That was where I drew the line of this conversation.

    She grinned, but didn’t argue. Fine. Fine. Condoms?

    In my purse.

    Brain?

    Turned off. Or, well . . . dialed down anyway.

    Excellent. I think we’re ready.

    I wasn’t ready. Not at all.

    There was a reason I hadn’t had sex yet, and now I knew it. I was a control freak. It was why I had done so well in school my entire life. It made me a great stage manager—no one could run a theatre rehearsal like I could. And when I did get up the nerve to act, I was always more prepared than any other actor in class. But sex . . . that was the opposite of control. There were emotions, and vulnerability, and that pesky other person that just had to be involved. Not my idea of fun.

    You’re thinking too much, Kelsey said.

    Better than not thinking enough.

    Not tonight it’s not, she said.

    I turned up the volume of Kelsey’s music as soon as we got in the car so that I could think in peace.

    I could do this. It was just a problem that needed to be solved, an item that needed to be checked off my to-do list.

    It was that simple.

    Simple.

    Keep it simple.

    We pulled up outside the bar several minutes later, and the night felt anything but simple. My pants felt too tight, my shirt too low-cut, and my brain too clouded. I wanted to throw up.

    I didn’t want to be a virgin. That much I knew. I didn’t want to feel like the immature prude who knew nothing about sex. I hated not knowing things. The trouble was . . . as much as I didn’t want to be a virgin, I also didn’t want to have sex.

    The conundrum of all conundrums. Why couldn’t this be one of those square-is-a-rectangle-but-rectangle-is-not-always-a-square kind of things?

    Kelsey was standing outside my door, her high-heeled shoes snapping in time with her fingers as she roused me out of the car. I squared my shoulders, tossed my hair (halfheartedly), and followed Kelsey into the bar.

    I made a beeline straight to the bar, wiggled myself onto a stool, and waved down the bartender.

    He was a possibility. Blond hair, average build, nice face. Nothing special, but nothing too intimidating either. He could be good for simple.

    What can I get for y’all, ladies?

    Southern accent. Definitely a homegrown kind of boy.

    Kelsey butted in. We need two shots of tequila to start.

    Make it four, I croaked.

    He whistled, and his eyes met mine. That kinda night, huh?

    I wasn’t ready to put into words what kind of night this was. So I just said, I’m looking for some liquid courage.

    And I’d be glad to help. He winked at me, and he was barely out of earshot before Kelsey bounced in her seat, saying, He’s the one! He’s the one!

    Her words made me feel like I was on a roller coaster, like the world had just dropped and all my organs were playing catch-up. I just needed more time to adjust. That’s it. I grabbed Kelsey’s shoulder and forced her to stay still. Chill, Kels. You’re like a freaking Chihuahua.

    "What? He’s a good choice. Cute. Nice. And I totally saw him glance at your cleavage . . . twice."

    She wasn’t wrong. But I still wasn’t all that interested in sleeping with him, which I suppose didn’t have to rule him out, but this sure would be a hell of a lot easier if I was actually interested in the guy. I said, I’m not sure . . . there’s just no spark. I could see an eye roll coming, so I tagged on a quick, Yet!

    When Bartender Boy returned with our drinks, Kelsey paid and I took my two shots before she even handed over her card. He stayed for a moment, smiling at me, before moving on to another customer. I stole one of Kelsey’s remaining shots.

    You’re lucky this is a big night for you, Bliss. Normally, nobody gets between me and my tequila.

    I held my hand out and said, Well, nobody will get between these legs unless I’m good and drunk, so hand me the last one.

    Kelsey shook her head, but she was smiling. After a few seconds, she gave in, and with four shots of tequila in my system the prospect of sex seemed a little less scary.

    Another bartender came by, this one a girl, and I ordered a Jack and Coke to sip on while I puzzled through this whole mess.

    There was Bartender Boy, but he wouldn’t get off until well after two A.M. I was a nervous wreck already, so if this dragged on till the wee hours of the morning, I’d be completely psychotic. I could just imagine it . . . straitjacketed due to sex.

    There was a guy standing next to me who seemed to move several inches closer with every drink I took, but he had to be at least forty. No thank you.

    I gulped down more of my drink, thankful the bartender had gone heavy on the Jack, and scanned the bar.

    What about him? Kelsey asked, pointing to a guy at a nearby table.

    Too preppy.

    Him?

    Too hipster.

    Over there?

    Ew. Too hairy.

    The list continued until I was pretty sure this night was a bust. Relief trickled through me. Kelsey suggested we hit another bar, which was the last thing I wanted to do. I told her I had to go to the bathroom, hoping someone would catch her eye while I was gone so that I could slip away with no drama. The bathroom was at the back, past the pool and darts area, behind a section with some small round tables.

    That was when I noticed him.

    Well, technically, I noticed the book first. Hazard of being a theatre nerd.

    And I just couldn’t keep my big mouth closed. If that’s supposed to be a way to pick up girls, I would suggest moving to an area with a little more traffic.

    He looked up from his reading, and I stuttered to a stop. He was easily the most attractive guy I’d seen tonight—blond hair falling into crystal blue eyes, just enough scruff on his jaw to give him a masculine look without going full Viking, and a devastating smile full of perfect, straight teeth. He had the kind of face that could make angels sing. It wasn’t making me sing, it was making me gawk. That’s the thing about very pretty people. Their perfection put me on edge, made me hyperaware of my own imperfections. Why did I stop? Why did I always have to make an idiot of myself?

    Excuse me?

    My mind was too busy berating itself, so it took me a moment to say, Shakespeare. No one reads Shakespeare in a bar unless it’s a ploy to pick up girls. All I’m saying is, you might have better luck up front.

    I turned to continue toward the bathroom, intent on disappearing as fast as possible, but his voice stopped me.

    It’s not a ploy, but if it were, it seems to me that I’m having great luck right here.

    A ping went off in the back of my mind, drawing my spine straighter. He sounded . . . interested. In me. That couldn’t be right.

    And as if he weren’t already borderline too perfect, he had an accent. A British accent. Dear God, I’m dying.

    Words. I had to say them back.

    "You’re not trying to pick up a girl?"

    Sparkling conversationalist, right here.

    "I wasn’t," he said, the emphasis on the last word combined with a sly smile told me things had changed. Why did this feel like a trap? My stomach tumbled with nerves.

    Breathe. I needed to breathe.

    Don’t lose it, Bliss. Some pretty people are perfectly nice. There’s no reason to be intimidated.

    He put his book down, but not before marking his place. My God, he was really reading Shakespeare in a bar. I needed somebody to pinch me because I had to be dreaming.

    I took another look at him. He was grinning now—white teeth, jaw stubble, hair just a touch messy, like he’d run his hand through it. Yep, I was definitely seducible. And that thought alone was enough to send me into shock. I didn’t do crushes. Every relationship I’d ever had, I had entered into logically. Like everything else in my life, my dating decisions always came down to a pros/cons list. If the pros outweighed the cons, then it was worth a shot.

    But this wasn’t about a relationship. This was about sex. And this guy was putting up an awful lot in the pro column.

    What’s your name, love?

    Love? Love! Still dying here.

    Bliss.

    Is that a line?

    I blushed crimson. No, it’s my name.

    Lovely name for a lovely girl. The timbre of his voice went into a lower register that made my insides curl in on themselves—it was like my uterus was tapping out a happy dance on the rest of my organs. God, I was dying the longest, most torturous, most arousing death in the history of the world. Was this what attraction always felt like? No wonder sex made people do crazy things.

    Well, Bliss, I’m new in town, and I’ve already locked myself out of my apartment. I’m waiting on a locksmith actually, and I figured I’d put this spare time to good use.

    By brushing up on your Shakespeare?

    Trying to anyway. Honestly, I’ve never liked the bloke all that much, but let’s keep that a secret between us, yeah?

    I’m pretty sure my cheeks were still stained red, if the heat coming off of them was any indication. In fact, my whole body felt like it was on fire. I’m not sure whether it was mortification or his accent that had me about to spontaneously combust in front of him.

    You look disappointed, Bliss. Are you a Shakespeare fan?

    I nodded, because my throat might have been closing up. Maybe I was allergic to whatever pheromones he was putting off, and that’s why I felt so strange

    He wrinkled his nose in response, and my hands itched to follow the line of his nose down to his lips.

    I was going crazy. Actually, certifiably insane.

    "Don’t tell me you’re a Romeo and Juliet fan?"

    Now this. This was something I could discuss.

    "Othello, actually. That’s my favorite."

    Ah. Fair Desdemona. Loyal and pure.

    My heart stuttered at the word pure.

    I, um . . . I struggled to piece together my thoughts. I like the juxtaposition of reason and passion.

    I’m a fan of passion myself. His eyes dipped down then and ran the length of my form. My spine tingled until it felt like it might burst out of my skin.

    You haven’t asked me my name, he said.

    I cleared my throat. This couldn’t be attractive. I was about as sociable as a caveman. I asked, What’s your name?

    He tilted his head, and his hair almost covered his eyes.

    Join me, and I’ll tell you.

    I didn’t think about anything other than the fact that my legs were like Jell-O and sitting down would prevent me from doing something embarrassing, like passing out from the influx of hormones that were quite clearly having a free-for-all in my brain. I sank into the chair, but instead of feeling relieved, the tension ratcheted up another notch.

    He spoke, and my eyes snagged on his lips. My name is Garrick.

    Who knew names could be hot too?

    It’s nice to meet you, Garrick.

    He leaned forward on his elbows, and I noticed his broad shoulders and the way his muscles moved beneath the fabric of his shirt. Then our eyes connected, and the bar around us went from dim to dark, while I was ensnared by those baby blues.

    I’m going to buy you a drink. It wasn’t meant to be a question. In fact, when he looked at me, there was nothing questioning in him at all, only confidence. Then we can chat some more about reason and . . . passion.

    2

    I couldn’t tell whether the burning sensation in my chest had to do with the hooded look Garrick was giving me or the remainder of my first Jack and Coke that I had just downed like it was water.

    A waiter arrived at Garrick’s beckoning, and I took a moment to give myself a silent pep talk while he ordered himself a drink. I was an actor. I was perfectly capable of faking confidence even if I had none.

    Bliss? Garrick prompted.

    His voice sent shivers through me.

    I looked up at him, then at the waiter, who happened to be Bartender Boy from earlier. I opened my mouth to ask for another Jack and Coke, but Bartender Boy stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. I remember—Jack and Coke, right?

    I nodded, and he threw me a wink and a smile. I paused, wondering for a second how he knew my order. I was pretty sure the girl bartender had served me last. He was still smiling at me, so I forced myself to speak. Thanks, um . . .

    Brandon, he supplied.

    Thanks, Brandon.

    He glanced at Garrick, and then focused back on me.

    Should I tell your friend up front that you’ll be right back?

    Oh, um, sure, I guess.

    He smiled

    Enjoying the preview?
    Page 1 of 1