Leadership and the Art of Struggle: How Great Leaders Grow Through Challenge and Adversity

What People Are Saying about Leadership and the Art of Struggle

A very fresh and inspiring perspective that constructively embraces the natural tensions that all leaders encounter every day. I heartily recommend it to any leader who aspires to lead and contribute more fully.

—Douglas R. Conant, former President, CEO, and Director, Campbell Soup

    Company, and coauthor of the New York Times bestseller TouchPoints

Steven courageously confronts the element of struggle, which is frequently overlooked in all the leadership hoopla. It’s time we had an open and honest conversation about this integral and vital aspect of leadership.

—Ken Melrose, former CEO, Toro

Steven guides you on a journey that can be deeply fulfilling as well as enlightening. I recommend this book for any leader who wants to engage more authentically and constructively in a complex and ever-changing world.

—Mary Brainerd, CEO, HealthPartners

"Leadership and the Art of Struggle contains compelling stories of great leaders who have struggled with various facets of their leadership responsibility. It offers practical advice and tools to help you deal more effectively with the inevitable struggles of leadership."

—Trudy Rautio, President and CEO, Carlson

If you are leading an organization of any kind today or desire to lead one in the future, you need to read this book.

—Frank Russomanno, former CEO, Imation

The must-read leadership book of the year. It is one of the most intelligent, revealing, and practical books on the subject I have ever read. It confronts a vital truth about leadership: that challenge is the crucible for greatness and that these adversities introduce us to ourselves. Buy this book immediately, read it with a sense of urgency, and apply it with the commitment of a disciple. You and those you work with will benefit greatly when you do.

—Jim Kouzes, coauthor of the bestselling The Leadership Challenge

Steven Snyder covers all the bases from channeling your energy to managing conflict, including a great segment about overcoming your leadership blind spots. Full of real-life examples of leaders who emerged from tough times better and stronger than before, this encouraging book is a must-read!

—Ken Blanchard, coauthor of The One Minute Manager and Great Leaders Grow

"The leadership journey is rewarding but definitely not easy. Leadership and the Art of the Struggle gives you clear and compelling advice on transforming pitfalls into possibilities."

—Jodee Kozlak, Executive Vice President, Human Resources, Target

Snyder has opened an intriguing and insightful portal into the challenge of leadership. You’ll be inspired and invigorated with ideas that you can immediately put into action.

—Kevin Wilde, Chief Learning Officer, General Mills, and author of Dancing with

    the Talent Stars

Life in a start-up is chaotic, intense, and unpredictable. Snyder knows this world well and gives you sage advice on how to remain grounded, focused, and energized. This is a book that every entrepreneur or would-be entrepreneur should read.

—Michael Gorman, Managing Director, Split Rock Partners

Snyder boldly tackles a subject that every leader needs to master. Sometimes leadership is a struggle, and these are the times that really put us to the test. This insightful book will teach you how to thrive during life’s most challenging moments.

—Marshall Goldsmith, New York Times bestselling author of Mojo and What Got

You Here Won’t Get You There

This book resonates to the core. It gives us grounding and offers precise practices for locating our work deep in the soul. Steven makes the dive into the waters of purposeful living and leading deep and attractive. What a delightful dive!

—Richard Leider, bestselling author of The Power of Purpose and coauthor of

Repacking Your Bags

The French writer Albert Camus tells us, ‘In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.’ Snyder wisely observes that we can best strike a blow against tragedy and disappointment by using them as inspiration to make a positive difference in the lives of others through our personal leadership.

—Marilyn Carlson Nelson, Chairman, Carlson

This is the right book for these times. Leadership has become more difficult in the chaotic world we live in; Steven acknowledges that and draws on his own deep experience and the lessons learned of others to help any new, aspiring, or well-worn leader!

—Beverly Kaye, founder of Career Systems International and coauthor of Love

’Em or Lose ’Em and Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go

"Leadership and the Art of Struggle deserves to be a leadership classic! Snyder brilliantly charts a course to strengthen ourselves through the important crucibles of challenge and adversity. If you want to build more authentic leadership in yourself and others, get this life-changing book!"

—Kevin Cashman, Senior Partner, Korn/Ferry International, and bestselling

    author of The Pause Principle and Leadership from the Inside Out

Leadership

and the

Art of Struggle

Leadership

and the

Art of Struggle

How Great Leaders Grow through

Challenge and Adversity

Steven Snyder

Leadership and the Art of Struggle

Copyright © 2013 by Steven Snyder

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.

Ordering information for print editions

Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the Special Sales Department at the Berrett-Koehler address above.

Individual sales. Berrett-Koehler publications are available through most bookstores. They can also be ordered directly from Berrett-Koehler: Tel: (800) 929-2929; Fax: (802) 864-7626; www.bkconnection.com

Orders for college textbook/course adoption use. Please contact Berrett-Koehler: Tel: (800) 929-2929; Fax: (802) 864-7626.

Orders by U.S. trade bookstores and wholesalers. Please contact Ingram Publisher Services, Tel: (800) 509-4887; Fax: (800) 838-1149; E-mail: customer

[email protected]; or visit www.ingrampublisherservices.com/Ordering for details about electronic ordering.

Berrett-Koehler and the BK logo are registered trademarks of Berrett-Koehler

Publishers, Inc.

First Edition

Paperback print edition ISBN 978-1-60994-644-9

PDF e-book ISBN 978-1-60994-645-6

IDPF e-book ISBN 978-1-60994-646-3

2013-1

Cover design by Ian Shimkoviak/The Book Designers.

Interior design and composition by Gary Palmatier, Ideas to Images.

Elizabeth von Radics, copyeditor; Mike Mollett, proofreader; Medea Minnich, indexer.

To Sherry Stern, my loving wife of 34 years,

who saw this book within me even before I did

and encouraged me to write it

Contents

Foreword by Bill George

Introduction

PART I        Becoming Grounded

CHAPTER 1  Struggle Is Not a Four-Letter Word

CHAPTER 2  Adaptive Energy

CHAPTER 3  Turn Your Energy into Adaptive Energy

Grounding Practice: Adopt a Growth Mind-Set

Grounding Practice: Become Resilient in the Face of Failure

CHAPTER 4  Make Sense of a Chaotic World

Grounding Practice: Draw Your Tension Map

CHAPTER 5  Regain Balance

Grounding Practice: Center Your Mind, Body, and Spirit

Grounding Practice: Find the Support You Need

PART II        Exploring New Pathways

CHAPTER 6  Navigate Tensions

Exploring Practice: Reimagine the Situation

to Discover a New Creative Path

Exploring Practice: Reinvent Yourself

CHAPTER 7  Illuminate Blind Spots

Exploring Practice: Overcome Your Blind Spots

CHAPTER 8  Transcend Conflict

Exploring Practice: Heal Yourself from Conflict

Exploring Practice: Envision the Common Ground

CHAPTER 9  Discover Purpose and Meaning through Struggle

Exploring Practice: Write or Revise

Your Personal Vision Statement

Exploring Practice: Recommit, Pivot, or Leap

PART III      Deepening Adaptive Energy

CHAPTER 10  Peer into the Future

Deepening Practice: Prepare for What Lies Ahead

CHAPTER 11  Savor the Marathon

Deepening Practice: Harness the Engine of Discipline

Deepening Practice: Celebrate What’s Precious

Additional Resources

Notes

Acknowledgments

Index

About the Author

Foreword

by Bill George

DO YOUR STRUGGLES MAKE YOU A BETTER LEADER? IS IT NECESSARY to overcome severe challenges to become an outstanding leader?

Yes, says Steven Snyder emphatically in this remarkable book. Clearly, struggle and leadership are intertwined, he writes. Great leaders use failure as a wake-up call.

That’s a conclusion many would-be leaders are reluctant to accept. In today’s world, society often searches for perfect leaders. When their actions reveal their weaknesses and shortcomings, the general public turns away from them and continues the impossible search for perfection. Media pundits, eager to condemn our leaders, pile on the criticism. Like the two tramps in Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot, who are hoping for the savior to lead them out of their misery, the public is still searching for the perfect leader. Instead of stepping up to leadership themselves, many people continue to drift through life and fail to realize their full potential as human beings and as leaders.

In Leadership and the Art of Struggle, Snyder takes an entirely different tack. He believes, as I do, that failure is a great teacher. To learn from it, you must be prepared to face its painful realities. That’s what Steve Jobs did after being ousted from the company he founded. Had he not been forced to face his own shortcomings, he never could have returned to create the success that led Apple to become the most highly valued company of all time. The same is true of Oprah Winfrey, who had to face the pain of the sexual abuse she endured as a young girl. When she did so, she changed her message to empowering people and became the most successful media personality of her era.

In a room filled with 125 powerful large-company chief executive officers, I once asked Jamie Dimon, JPMorgan’s chair and CEO, what his defining experience was. Rather than citing his great success at JPMorgan, he replied instantly, I got fired … by my mentor of 22 years. Learning from that experience, Dimon bounced back and became the world’s leading financial services CEO. Forced to face the reality of his bank’s $6 billion in trading losses, he took immediate responsibility for them. He went on Meet the Press and said, We made a terrible, egregious mistake. We were stupid. There’s almost no excuse for it.

The realities that Snyder addresses represent a fundamental building block required to develop healthy, effective leaders who are committed to building a society devoted to the well-being of all. Only in acknowledging our own flaws and vulnerabilities can we become authentic leaders who empower people to perform to the best of their abilities.

Shortly after joining the Harvard Business School (HBS) faculty in 2004, I initiated a research project to determine the characteristics of authentic leaders and the ways they developed their leadership. My HBS colleagues encouraged me to discover the traits, characteristics, and styles of these successful leaders. Then my HBS research associate presented me with discouraging news: 1,400 previous studies had been unsuccessful in determining these definitive characteristics, as all failed to establish statistical validity or replicability. Nevertheless we went ahead with our project. Two skilled researchers and I interviewed 125 leaders ages 23 to 93, generating 3,000 pages of transcripts. To our disappointment nothing definitive emerged about the leaders’ characteristics. Rather many leaders said, Let me just talk about what’s important to me.

In reviewing the transcripts with our research team, I had a sickening feeling that the inputs might just turn out to be mush. But when we reread the deeply honest and personal stories these leaders told us about themselves, the conclusions jumped off the pages. It was the life stories of these leaders that shaped their leadership. Their challenging times and crucibles stoked their passion to make a difference through leading. Some of their failures—and nearly all had experienced setbacks or great hardships—had resulted from abandoning their roots and not staying grounded in who they were. We labeled these periods as losing their way. Others faced challenges not of their own making, which nonetheless were life changing. Those who went on to greater success as leaders maintained fidelity to their life stories and who they were—their True North.

When we published these results in my 2007 book True North, they had great resonance with business and nonprofit leaders—from younger managers and middle managers to senior executives. I was especially surprised that the ideas struck a vital chord with very powerful CEOs, as they were so much at variance with what was being written and taught at the time.

Snyder’s book takes these same themes to a much deeper and richer level, as he pushes the limits much farther than I did. He asserts that struggle is an art to be mastered, an intrinsic aspect of leadership and an opportunity for leaders to realize their potential. That runs directly contrary to the macho image cultivated by many powerful leaders who deny their weaknesses and vulnerabilities. With that denial, they rob themselves of opportunities for deep introspection and a clearer understanding of themselves. Small wonder that many high-level leaders feel like imposters. One Stanford professor has discovered that the number one fear of top leaders is being found out. Thus it is not surprising that many leaders fail, most often because they cannot face reality and they deny they are at risk of causing their own failures.

Snyder takes these fundamental truths of human nature and converts them into a set of well-conceived strategies and practices that enable leaders to become grounded—a term I was too timid to use in True North because it sounded soft. Of course the real work of leaders who are getting grounded in their authenticity, their humanity, and their weaknesses and vulnerabilities, as well as their strengths, is exceptionally hard work.

On a personal level, it took me many years to acknowledge openly my shortcomings, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities. For that reason I wound up withholding the real me from colleagues at work, coming across as superconfident, aggressive, and completely focused on business results. When I began sharing my weaknesses—being impatient, lacking tact, and often coming across as intimidating—as well as the failures and the difficulties I had experienced in my lifetime, I learned that people opened up about themselves and resonated more with my leadership. I accepted that I wasn’t expected to have all the answers and could more frequently admit, I don’t know. In being willing to be vulnerable, I found I could acknowledge the fears of being rejected as a leader that went back to high school and college, when I lost seven consecutive elections because others didn’t want to work with me.

For many years I tried to deny my weaknesses and blame them on my father, as if I inherited them from him. It didn’t work. When I finally acknowledged that these were my weaknesses, not his, and this was who I was, I felt the burden lifting from me. Only then could I feel comfortable in being myself. These shortcomings are still part of me, but they are far less prominent and they no longer own me as they once did. As a result, my relationships with colleagues, family members, and friends have steadily improved.

In understanding how much more people were willing to trust me after that, I recognized that vulnerability is power, a favorite saying of author John Hope Bryant in Love Leadership: The New Way to Lead in a Fear-Based World. The paradox is that by acknowledging your vulnerabilities, you retain the power because others are unable to take advantage of you when you try to cover up your shortcomings and fears. At the same time, you empower others to become more authentic by acknowledging their vulnerabilities.

In teaching these ideas to senior executives, I often get puzzled looks because they have steeled themselves not to reveal their vulnerabilities out of fear that others might take advantage of them. Of course, the truth is precisely the opposite. In refusing to acknowledge their roles in contributing to the problems around them, many leaders repeat their mistakes rather than learn from them. They may move to another job without ever facing themselves, thinking a fresh start will obviate their difficulties.

As mindfulness expert Jon Kabat-Zinn writes, Wherever you go, there you are. In other words, we can change the venue, but our shortcomings are with us until we acknowledge them to ourselves as well as to others. When we do so, our weaknesses steadily diminish and our strengths become more powerful. That’s also the message of the positive psychology movement initiated by Martin Seligman, which is often falsely construed as burying your past difficulties rather than growing from them.

In this book Snyder provides specific strategies to deal with these issues. He pairs his strategies with a series of techniques and exercises that enable us to stay grounded and explore new pathways to grow from our experiences. In the end he shows us how to develop the adaptive energy required to prepare for the greater challenges we will face in leadership. Through this rigorous process, we can develop the focus and the discipline to work through our issues and, ultimately, to celebrate what really matters in our lives.

Having worked with many leaders who are earnestly embarking on the journey that Snyder takes us on, my advice is to not expect instant results. Being authentically self-aware and mindful of your feelings, emotions, and reactions can take many years of hard work as you peel back the layers of that unique person you are. It often takes that much time to learn how to grasp the power you have within you to be the very best you can be.

This journey can be difficult if not impossible to take on your own. We all need a team of fellow pilgrims to help us as we in turn help them along their paths. As the famous Hindu philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti wrote, Relationship is the mirror through which we see ourselves as we really are. With how many people do you have truly open and enduring relationships? How many of them are willing to hold a mirror up to you?

We need a support team that helps us through the most challenging times of our lives. My team starts with my wife, Penny, my faithful companion of 43 years, who has helped an engineer learn about psychology, human nature, and, most importantly, myself. I have also learned a great deal from the wisdom of our two sons, Jeff and Jon; my close friends; and my colleagues at Harvard Business School.

Other than Penny, nothing has been more constant and helpful than my two True North Groups—my men’s group that has met weekly for 39 years and our couple’s group that has met monthly for 30 years and traveled the world together. We have learned from our personal and professional challenges and helped each other along the way, through good times and especially in difficult times. Do you have a True North Group taking this exciting journey with you?

Leadership and the Art of Struggle provides you with the opportunity to learn