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The Less People Know About Us: A Mystery of Betrayal, Family Secrets, and Stolen Identity
The Less People Know About Us: A Mystery of Betrayal, Family Secrets, and Stolen Identity
The Less People Know About Us: A Mystery of Betrayal, Family Secrets, and Stolen Identity
Audiobook7 hours

The Less People Know About Us: A Mystery of Betrayal, Family Secrets, and Stolen Identity

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

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About this audiobook

In this powerful and “engrossing” memoir, identity theft expert Axton Betz-Hamilton tells the shocking story of how her family was destroyed by the actions of an anonymous criminal (The New York Times).

When Axton Betz-Hamilton was 11 years old, her parents both had their identities stolen. This was before the age of the Internet—authorities and banks were clueless and reluctant to help Axton's parents. 
 
Convinced that the thief had to be someone they knew, Axton and her parents completely cut off the outside world. As a result, Axton spent her formative years crippled by anxiety, quarantined behind the closed curtains in her childhood home. Years later, Axton discovered that she, too, had fallen prey to the identity thief.
 
The Less People Know About Us is a cautionary tale, but not one without hope as Axton looks back on the dysfunctional childhood that led to her desire to help this from happening to others.
 
AN EDGAR AWARDS 2020 WINNER AND WALL STREET JOURNAL BESTSELLER
LanguageEnglish
Release dateOct 15, 2019
ISBN9781549115165
The Less People Know About Us: A Mystery of Betrayal, Family Secrets, and Stolen Identity

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Reviews for The Less People Know About Us

Rating: 3.875 out of 5 stars
4/5

48 ratings7 reviews

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  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Apr 4, 2023

    Wow. A gripping and sad memoir of a woman who has lost her entire life to identity theft, and still can't quite connect to others.

    Not only did it cast a pall over her childhood, adolescence and early adulthood, but Axton then spent her twenties and early thirties getting advanced degrees that focused on identity theft. It has shaped every aspect of her life.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Nov 20, 2022

    powerful story of lies and manipulation

    This is as well-written as any novel. I would recommend it to anyone: you don't have to be a victim of identity theft or financial exploitation to appreciate it, but if you grew up in a disturbed family dynamic it may be triggering.

    Part of the reason it would appeal widely, and simultaneously part of the reason that it might be triggering, is that the financial shenanigans are occurring in the context of mental illness and just plain meanness, psychological manipulation, denial, lies, and emotional abuse along with estrangement (cutoffs, in family-therapy speak) and infidelity. It's a morass of dysfunction even without the money factor.

    You find yourself rooting for Axton as she studies her way out of there, all the way to a Ph.D. and national recognition in her field. It's like a major plot thread in a novel: Will she make it? Yes! And part of what makes this such a powerful read is that she is so frank about the scars that she bears, about the tremendous cost at which she made it out, what it's still costing her.

    All of this is only slowly revealed, however, as the outline of the book follows the author's growing traumatization, understanding/awareness, and power as she ages and matures. This actually makes it into kind of a page-turner: You really want to know what happens next! One night I stayed up two hours late reading a particularly intense section, another day I lost an hour of work on it. I did think I had it figured out about halfway through, much in the same way that one does while reading a murder mystery, but reviewers who complain about this miss the point: People who exploit others in this manner are (otherwise they couldn't do it) masters at deceit, taking advantage of the very traits that we prize in ourselves and others--honesty, faith, loyalty, love, and yes, sometimes blind trust in the very relatives, neighbors, friends or professionals who we count on to have our backs, not stab us in same. The victims don't have our perspective, our advantage of hindsight conferred by authors of memoirs or biographies.

    It was disturbing, but I'm not sorry I read it, if only because I learned something new and 'met' someone in Dr. Betz-Hamilton that I can like and admire. If you're on the fence about reading it, I'd say go for it.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Aug 18, 2021

    I wish I had not tuned into this author's library program until AFTER I had read the book because she told us all about it and revealed who stole her identity. Had I read it first I am sure I would have been way more shocked - but as I read this memoir I knew what was coming. When Axton was a child her parents had their identity stolen and it made them fearful of everyone - who was doing this to them, why were checks bouncing and utilities getting cut off. It led for a lonely childhood. When she finally flew the coop and left for college, Axton was excited to leave the fear behind her and start the next chapter of her life, but unfortunately when she goes to get her own apartment she discovers that her credit is in the bottom 2% - it's beyond horrible. It turns out it wasn't just her parents with stolen identities - her had been too. Credit cards taken out in her name when she was just a child, the whole gambit. Axton makes it her mission to get to the bottom of it but sometimes the answers are worse than the problems. Heartbreaking - what a messed up little family.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5

    Mar 21, 2020

    This book is about a family and its trips through life while significantly marred by one thing: identity theft.

    For decades, this family was eked out of its money by somebody who was stealing their mail, their social security numbers, who created bank accounts in their names and made the credit scores for the individual members of the family sink to the very bottom.

    That is discussed throughout the book, along with some scant stories about the family's life together. The writer is the young daughter of the family; today, she is a frequently-asked expert on identity theft.

    I think I first heard about this book from a podcast episode where the author spoke about her ordeals, life, and actual conclusion of the entire matter.

    Sadly, for me, that's where the gist of this book lay; it's not enough to fan out in book form. Where somebody like Tara Westover, whose Educated is written by somebody who carries both fact and flair equally well, this book is quite light-weight and contains far more filler than killer. One good thing about this book is that it's very easily read.

    Here's an opening section of the book:

    It had been a long day at school and the roots of a headache had planted themselves near the outer corners of my eyes. There were hours of homework in my immediate future but as I walked through the parking lot of my building, I wistfully considered a nap. The manila envelope I found folded over and jammed in my mailbox was the last thing I wanted to deal with. With a groan of resignation, I yanked it from the box. It was a lot bigger than I had expected a credit report to be. Must come with a lot of instructions, I thought. Most of me wanted to drop it by the front door and forget about it for a while, but I leaned against the arm of my hand-me-down, green-floral-print couch with my legs crossed and tore it open instead.

    There have been a few moments in my life when reality has skipped in front of me like a broken television—and I remember this one in slow motion. Sliding my finger under the thick flap of that envelope, feeling the adhesive give way and the paper tear in jagged intervals—those were the last indelible sensations of an existence I understood. And then, as sure as the sharp edges of paper in my hands, another existence took its place. A new life, a different identity. I did not find any instructions inside the envelope.

    Instead, I found the report, with the bulk of a term paper, full of fraudulent credit card charges and collection agency entries in my name. Discover, Bank One, First USA. Pages of numbers and dates as foreign as a language I did not speak. The first line of credit had been opened in 1993, when I was eleven. That was the year my parents’ identities had been stolen.

    My credit score was 380. For a merciful second I thought maybe that was good. After all, 100 is perfect. It always had been in school, anyway. Then I saw the corresponding key. My score of 380 placed me in the second percentile of all scorers in the United States. About as low as it gets. As my body folded over the arm of the couch, my mind struggled to make sense of these bizarre numbers. Surely they’ll know—I was just a kid; I couldn’t have done this. I felt the sting of tears on my cheeks. Who would do this to me?

    This book would have fared a lot better had it been written with better style.

    The best parts of the book aren't contained in The Big Reveal but in how the author writes of family fights and how far this gigantic scam went.

    I can't recommend this book, but if you're a quick reader and keen for some true crime, I guess this is OK, even though there are plenty of books like it that I preferred reading.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Mar 17, 2020

    Ever since she can remember, Axton knew that the world was out to get her. Her entire family had been the victim of identity theft so frequently that they lived in a perpetual state of fear. Collectors were calling the house constantly, strange men in uniforms kept arriving to shut off utilities, and Axton was carefully trained to distance herself from all family. Whoever was targeting them, probably knew them personally. The damage was so extensive.

    Driven by the questions of her upbringing, Axton devoted herself to learning about identity theft. She ascended the ranks of academia and soon became an expert in her field, one of the very first with a focus on this very modern crime. Though she had long given up the hope, at the heart of her passion is the deep desire to find the culprit for her family's seemingly endless misfortune.

    Shortly after the death of her mother, Axton's wish is granted. As she begins to work with her father to clean out her mother's belongings, she is shocked by what she discovers. It quickly becomes clear that her mother was responsible for the endless series of financial crimes committed against them. Or rather, identity theft was the excuse she used to cover up her wild spending, infidelities, and lies upon lies.

    For years she had been taking money from Axton's father and spending it on other things. She only paid the utilities bill when it was six months overdue and about to be shut off. She took money intended for the retirement account and spend it elsewhere. She took out dozens of credit cards in the names of family members at let them go to collection agencies. All the family's ongoing financial woes were her fault alone.

    Luckily, Axton's career had done nothing if not prepare her to unravel this knot, and she does the best she can to help her father sort through the mess.

    This is a shocking tale of sociopathy and the damage it can wreak upon a family. A fascinating story of abuse, secrets, and lies.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Jan 2, 2020

    The Less People Know About Us: A Mystery of Betrayal, Family Secrets and Stolen Identity
    by Axton Betz-Hamilton
    2019
    Grand Central
    4.0 / 5.0

    Every family has secrets; unwritten laws of the family. Sometimes truth can be stranger than fiction, and betrayal as thick as blood.

    In this true crime memoir, Axton Betz-Hamilton shares her family's secrets, and the betrayal that led her to a life long career. Her past experiences and strong convictions have convinced her to become an expert in identity theft, and has helped many in the same situation.

    Growing up in a small town in Indiana, in the early 1990's, Axton's mother was obsessed with the Home Shopping Network, and her father was obsessed with raising donkeys. When mail began disappearing, no one thought much of it, even as it continued to disappear for 20 years. The identity of the identity thief would not be revealed until a death in the family. Its a shocker that made my blood run cold.

    Written with a passionate and emotive narrative that drives the story and brings out the depth of trauma, loss and destabilization her family experienced.

    Heart-wrenching and unforgettable.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Sep 29, 2019

    The Less People Know About Us, by Axton Betz-Hamilton is a memoir about identity theft and psychopathy/narcissism to break the bank, kind of literally. Betz-Hamilton's family was victimized by an identity thief virtually her entire life into her late 20s/early 30s or so; the identity of the thief shook her to the core and made her question nearly everything about her life to that point. If you google her or read any media about the story you will learn the identity of that person immediately but the book is written as a chronological mystery which in my opinion diminishes the power of the revelation. It's a fascinating story (especially if you have any personal experience with identity theft) and Betz-Hamilton is a good writer but she doesn't structure the book to give it maximum impact. I did read an interview she did (she did a lot of media before being approached to write the book in her ongoing search for information about the thief) so I did know who the thief was and this definitely colored my reading of the book. If you like memoir this is a solid choice but again I felt like the story was let down a little by the way she told it. Someone more skilled in the use of dramatic irony could have made this a much sharper and more painful story, though it's really horrible as-is.