Nostalgia: The Stories Cops Tell

Has storytelling become a lost art? Have we become so insular, buried in our mobile technology often connecting with people we have probably never met in a virtual world of imagery and diminished literary content that storytelling has become a thing of the past? If so, I think that is sad as I was fortunate enough to be exposed to the most wonderful stories when I was a fresh-faced junior police officer. Why did my rank and age have a bearing on the consumption of these tales? Well for the first seven years or so as a Constable this entry-level step introduced me to several older soaks that by virtue of a conscious decision or the fact that they had failed to overcome that bastard of a first hurdle, the Sergeants exam, had remained at that rank for the entirety of their service. The syllabus of this wretched thing, at the time I joined in the early 1980s, was contained within the aptly named ‘Police Promotions Examinations Manual’ (containing both the Sergeants & Inspectors curriculum) housed in a hardback blue cover that resembled a breeze block yet marginally bigger. Coupled with the fact that as a Constable I spent an inordinate amount of time in the back of a police transit cozied up next to many of the orators of these magnificent yarns.

As I climbed the ranks my elevated seat at the front next to the driver disconnected me from this culture along with the realization that the discord created by rank, especially when colleagues later called me Sir, had canceled my membership of