Unclaimed: Finding My Unique Identity…Finally

Estimated reading time: 10 minutes

In the discomfort of aloneness, one woman discovers her individuality that had long been buried in the shadow of the bigness of others in her life

—

I never wanted to be alone, ever, but that is precisely what I did. I got vastly lonely first before confronting the nervous energy coursing through me that engaged a need for relentless mobility. It is how I hid. I went from event to event, chore to chore, not even able to settle down enough to read a book—avoiding self. Watching a movie alone on the couch took an epic amount of effort. Why am I like this, I thought?

In a new relationship, the usual love-struck aches felt increasingly more desperate. Being without my boyfriend on the weekend felt like I would lose everything—as if the connection would just fade away if I didn’t cling to the identification of oneness (us-ness). I would start to get ready for our date around 11 in the morning, almost counting the hours when I could connect and not have to be alone.

Naturally this backfired, as who wants to be anyone’s everything, and he gently reminded me he had a life of his own. I thought, I am so much more than that. Yes,