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The Big Issue Magazine

Joke’s on Tim Noakes

An extract from Death by Carbs by Paige Nick (Bookstorm, 2015) – dedicated to anyone who has ever struggled to lose weight and knows how murderous it can be.

THE COP

Wednesday 3:37am

A cop who liked donuts: he was the world’s biggest cliché. Bennie September turned on the interior light in the car and angled the rearview mirror so he could catch a glimpse of his face. Then he swept back and forth at his top lip with his fingertips. It wasn’t easy getting powdered sugar out of a moustache.

He dropped the now-empty cardboard Pick n Pay box on the floor of the passenger seat of his old

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