First Cow

In the year of our Lord 2008, I was a victim of subtweeting before the term had entered into the popular lexicon. For those who remain blissfully unaware of the word’s origins, it’s essentially a form of stealth criticism whereby one is called out for an opinion or action taken, but remains unnamed, allowing for a level of “blind item” anonymity to those not in the know. As a wide-eyed journalistic lickspittle, I had been commissioned to review the film Wendy and Lucy by the director Kelly Reichardt for the pages of hallowed arts listing organ, Time Out London.

At that time, and under the auspices of a, shall we say, “wacky” new editor-in-chief, no longer rated art out of the traditional five stars. Now things were out of six.’s portrait of a young woman foundering on the precipice of the American margins, I decided to cash in all my chips and lay down for the big one: six shining yellow stars. It was a very big moment. Being able to proselytise about this film in such a hyperbolic manner made me feel alive. Sometimes, it’s what makes this game worth playing.