The amazing Ranchero slide

A while back I read about a teacher in the Western Cape who slapped one of her pupils. The online article and the comments below it – a combination of people defending corporal punishment and allegations of racism – made for unpleasant reading, but it did take me back to my childhood when I received my first hiding.

My mother will tell you that I am responsible for each of her grey hairs, and if you ask my dad whether I was really that wayward, he’ll drop his chin to his chest and point his index finger at the last three hairs on his shiny bald head.

I got this paddling at the tender age of five. We lived in Richards Bay, in KwaZulu-Natal, in a suburb called Arboretum. Many of our neighbours were fresh off the boat, mostly Scottish engineers who came to South Africa to