Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for over 20 years. Recently, he has become increasingly controlling, checking all my movements and whereabouts, even while we are both at home. He checks if I am asleep by pretending to be putting something on the bedside table when he could just ask if I am asleep, for instance.
This has caused me to lose trust and interest in our marriage. I am a religious person, and we both attend church regularly, but I feel like a prisoner in my own home. -- Help Me
Dear Help Me: Your husband’s behavior is intrusive, possessive and controlling, like you said. It’s also odd that he’s started doing this out of the blue with seemingly no change in your marriage to warrant it.
The next time you catch him checking up on you, confront him directly. Let him know that what he’s doing makes you uncomfortable and that him watching your every move makes it seem like he doesn’t trust you. You’ll be able to tell a lot by how he reacts to this.
It’s important to lean on people you love and can trust right now, be it a friend or your pastor at church. Consider seeing a therapist to deal with how you’re feeling, and if your husband’s willing to go to therapy with you, all the better. It sounds like there are deeper issues at play that deserve to be looked into if you want to restore your marriage.
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