Wetti of Reichenau (Latin: Wettinus Augiensis; c 775–824) was a Benedictine monk, scholar and educator at the monastery at Reichenau in modern-day Germany. He was one of the leading educators of his time, and an influential scholar among monks and laity throughout not only the Carolingian empire but also the Western European monastic community. His best known surviving work is his biography of Saint Gallus, the founder of Reichenau's sister monastery, St Gall.
Wetti is best known for the visions of heaven and hell he had shortly before his death in about November 4, 824, which were recorded in Latin (Visio Wettini) by Heito, former abbot of Reichenau, in 824 and by Wetti's disciple Walahfrid Strabo in 827. Walahfrid's version, in verse, reveals far more about Wetti's visions than Heito's does, leveling more detailed accusations of greed and sexual misconduct against monks, government and church officials – cautiously edited or omitted by Heito – even acrostically naming Charlemagne when he appears in purgatory. An example of dream literature, the Vision of Wetti reflects Carolingian afterlife conceptions of punishment and salvation; it was widely read throughout contemporary monastic communities and is generally considered one of the influences on Dante's Divine Comedy.
Your Momma caught me rockin' in a place she thought was shockin'
If it wasn't for the stocking that she found around my neck
I think she wouldn't care a little but she hit me like a skittle
And I landed in the middle of the DJ's deck
Your Momma caught me walkin' with a blonde I was a talkin'
And I didn't hear her stalkin' up behind me on the street
I tried to make her laugh it off,I saw she wouldn't have it
When she threw me at the traffic, well, I knew that I was beat
Seven sore bruises, your Momma's big shoes did
For messin' 'round with floosies while your back was turned
She ravaged my poor legs, savaged my forehead
I wish I was dead, you know I sure got burned
Your Momma caught me holding close a girl like we were soldered
And I guess she thought my olden days had all returned again
Because she threw me 'cross her shoulder, rammed my head into a boulder