Weird U.S.

You Are What You Is

Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ike Willis (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Ray White (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Bob Harris (boy soprano, trumpet)
Steve Vai (guitar)
Tommy Mars (keyboards)
Arthur Barrow (bass)
Ed Mann (percussion)
David Ocker (clarinet, bass clarinet)
Motorhead Sherwood (tenor saxophone, vocals)
Denny Walley (slide guitar, vocals)
David Logeman (drums)
Craig Steward (harmonica)
Jimmy Carl Black (vocals)
Ahmet Zappa (vocals)
Moon Zappa (vocals)
Do you know what you are?
You are what you is
You is what you am
(A cow don't make ham...)
You ain't what you're not
So see what you got
You are what you is
An' that's all it 'tis
A foolish young man
From a middle class fam'ly
Started singin' the blues
'Cause he thought it was manly
Now he talks like the Kingfish
("Saffiiiee!")
From Amos 'n Andy
("Holy mack'l dere...Holy mack'l
dere!")
He tells you that chitlins...
Well, they taste just like candy
He thinks that he's got
De whole thang down
From the Nivea Lotion
To de Royal Crown
Do you know what you are?
You are what you is
You is what you am
(A cow don't make ham...)
You ain't what you're not
So see what you got
You are what you is
An' that's all it 'tis
A foolish young man
Of the Negro Persuasion
Devoted his life
To become a caucasian
He stopped eating pork
He stopped eating greens
He traded his dashiki
("UHURU!")
For some Jordache Jeans
He learned to play golf
An' he got a good score
Now he says to himself
("I AIN'T NO NIGGER NO MORE...HEY! HEY! HEY!")
"I don't understand you..."
BWANA MA-COO-BAH
"Would you please speak more clearly..."
MERCEDES BAINNNNNNNZ
Who is who
(I don't know)
'N what is what
(Somethin' I just don't know...)
'N why is this
(Tell me now...)
Appropriot
(That's a funny pronunciation if'n ever
I heard one...)
If you don't like
(Where'd you get that word?)
What you has got
(Appropriot? The word is not...)
Drop it in the dirt
(Drop it yeah...)
'N let it rot
(I can smell it now...)
Someone else
(Here de come, here de come...)
Will surely come
(I told you they was comin')
'N pick it up
(That's right!)
'Cause he wants some
(An' he wants it for free...)
And when one day
(There will come a day...)
You wonder who
(I wonder too...)
You used to was
(Who I was anyway...)
'N what you do
(I used to work at the post office...)
You'll scratch your head
(But I don't wanna un-do my doo...)
'N look around
(Just to see what's goin' on)
But what you lost
(Can't seem to find it...)
Will not be found
(A Mercedes Benz...)
Do you what you are?
(I know...)
You are what you is
(I'm the kinda guy...)
You is what you am
(That ought to be drivin' a Mercedes Benz...)
A cow don't make a ham
(A four-fifty SLC...)
You ain't what you're not
(A big ol' red one...)
So see what you got
(With some golf clubs stickin' out de trunk...)
You are what you is
(I'm gwine down to de links on Saturday mornin'...)
An' that's all it is
(Gimme a five dollar bill...)
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
(And an overcoat too...)
AND THAT'S ALL IT IS
(Robbie, take me to Greek Town...)
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
(I'm harder than yer husband; harder than yer husband...)
AN THAT'S ALL IT IS
(I'm goin' down to White Street, y'all...)
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
(Gone down to the Mudd Club, 'n work
the wall...)
AN THAT'S ALL IT IS
('N work the floor 'n work the pipe 'N
work the wall some more...
And here we are at the Mudd Club,
Y'all...
I hope you enjoy yourself, cause the
show's about