John Valby (born November 22, 1944 in Staten Island and raised in Rochester, New York) is a musician and comedian who plays in barrooms and college campuses up and down the East Coast. Using an old-fashioned piano, he creates comedic, obscene parodies of classic songs. He can always be found performing in his classic white tailcoat and black derby hat.
Valby lives up to his nickname "Dr. Dirty". His songs and shows focus mainly on sex and racial slurs, with a mix of current and historic people and events.
Many of the songs sung by Valby are drinking songs like Ya, Ya, Ya (aka limericks), Roll Your Leg Over, Barnacle Bill, etc. See Richard Reuss' master thesis and Ed Cray's Erotic Muse for further examples.
Valby lives outside Buffalo, New York with his wife and six children. His two youngest daughters Angel Valby and Sunny Valby are the light in his life. He also says "Wikipedia is a cesspool of misinformation." He holds a Bachelor of Arts in Philosophy from Middlebury College Class of 1966. He served in the Army and claims that he avoided being sent to Vietnam because his superior officer liked him. He is a classically trained pianist, and was an avid hockey player.
In 1975, Valby was playing ragtime piano, a style popular around the turn of the century, in Buffalo bars. One evening, he blended three dirty songs into his act. The next evening, the bar was full of people who came out just to hear him sing the dirty songs. Dr. Dirty was born.
While Valby is best known for his "Dr. Dirty" act, he has recorded and produced pop and rock albums for himself and other artists. One unusual act he was responsible for producing was that of Buffalo Sabres defenseman Jim Schoenfeld in 1971, for the album Schony. He also had a small role as a piano player in a Tijuana brothel in the 1983 film Losin' It, which featured an early performance by Tom Cruise.
Valby is one of the 10 official districts of Copenhagen, Denmark. It is in the southwestern corner of Copenhagen Municipality, and has a mixture of different types of housing. This includes apartment blocks, terraced housing, areas with single-family houses and allotments, plus the remaining part of the old Valby village, around which the district has formed, intermingled with past and present industrial sites.
Valby Hill marks the boundary between Valby and the — more central and more urban — neighbouring Vesterbro district. The expression "west of Valby Hill" is in Danish often used as a metonym for "the provinces" or "outside Copenhagen". Separated from the rest of Copenhagen by Vestre Cemetery, Denmark's largest cemetery, towards Vesterbro/Kongens Enghave and Søndermarken-Frederiksberg Gardens towards Frederiksberg, the Carlsberg brewery site, and areas of low density, Valby retains a certain air of 'independence', or isolation, even today. With the progressing redevelopment of the Carlsberg area into a new lively, high-density neighbourhood, this is likely to change. Other former industrial sites are also under redevelopment and Valby is today one of the districts in Copenhagen with the fastest growing population.
Valby may refer to:
Who's that knocking at my door?
Who's that knocking at my door?
Who's that knocking at my door?
said the fair young maiden
Well
Open the door ya fuckin' whore
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
Open the door ya fuckin' whore
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
Shall we go to the dance?
Shall we go to the dance?
Shall we go to the dance?
said the fair young maiden
Well
To hell with the dance and down with your pants
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
To hell with the dance and down with your pants
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
What's that thing between your legs?
What's that thing between your legs?
What's that thing between your legs?
said the fair young maiden
Well
It's only me pole to stick up your hole
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
It's only me pole to stick up your hole
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
What's that stuff around your pole?
What's that stuff around your pole?
What's that stuff around your pole?
said the fair young maiden
Well
It's only me grass to tickle your ass
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
It's only me grass to tickle your ass
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
What's that dripping down your leg?
What's that dripping down your leg?
What's that dripping down your leg?
said the fair young maiden
Well
It's only a shot that missed your twat
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
It's only a shot that missed your twat
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
What if we should have a boy?
What if we should have a boy?
What if we should have a boy?
said the fair young maiden
Well
He'll go to sea and fuck like me
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
He'll go to sea and fuck like me
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
What if we should have a girl...
Well we'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
We'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
What if Ma and Pa should come home early?
What if Ma and Pa should come home early?
What if Ma and Pa should come home early?
(and find us screwing our brains out on the living room floor)
said the fair young maiden
Well
I'll fuck your Ma and blow your Pa
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
I'll fuck your Ma and blow your Pa