Famous quotes by Roseanne:
"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
"My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside."
"Women are cursed and men are the proof."
"The world makes you into a bitch, no matter how quietly you go, so you may as well go kicking and screaming."
"I hate the word housewife; I don't like the word home-maker either. I want to be called Domestic Goddess."
"Birth control that really works: Every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids."
"I had left home (like all Jewish girls) in order to eat pork and take birth control pills. When I first shared an intimate evening with my husband I was swept away by the passion (so dormant inside myself) of a long and tortured existence. The physical cravings I had tried so hard to deny finally and ultimately sated... but enough about the pork."
"A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like a doughnut."
"I'm only upset that I'm not a widow. [On her ex-husband Tom Arnold]"
"There isn't any 'New Man.' The New Man is the old man, only he whines more."