Famous quotes by Ron White:
"Drunk in Public Tour."
"[There's a] secret story ... They call me Tater Salad."
"As a woman grows older, you can give her a [tummy-tuck], you can give her LASIK if her vision goes bad and you can give her a hearing aid. But you can't cure stupid,"
"Star Wars Episode Three (And One Quarter): Revenge Of The Hicks"
"Like a lot of Iowans, I have to drive just to meet basic needs, ... Am I going to drive into town for a loaf of bread and a half gallon of milk or am going into town to play cards with friends? Probably not. So it's definitely fewer trips."
"I believe if life gives you lemons make lemonade…then find someone that life gave vodka to and have a party."
"I think the big question is how much more expensive it will make the wine. The real test of it is once it's produced and on the shelf, what are people willing to pay?"
"It's not like driving the freeways of California. It's dog-eat-dog out here. You have to have water and food and be ready for most anything to happen."
"That's the other guy, ... I'm more of a shut-r-down kind of guy."
"I hope you've enjoyed some of the new stuff tonight as well as some of the old stuff, ... I'll never forget this night as long as I live."