The family Phylliidae (often misspelled Phyllidae) contains the extant true leaf insects or walking leaves, which include some of the most remarkably camouflaged leaf mimics in the entire animal kingdom. They occur from South Asia through Southeast Asia to Australia. At present, there is no consensus as to the preferred classification of this group; some sources treat Phylliidae as a much larger taxon, containing the members of what are presently considered to be several different families.
Leaf insects are camouflaged (using mimicry) to take on the appearance of leaves. They do this so accurately that predators often are not able to distinguish them from real leaves. In some species the edge of the leaf insect's body even has the appearance of bite marks. To further confuse predators, when the leaf insect walks, it rocks back and forth, to mimic a real leaf being blown by the wind.
The scholar Antonio Pigafetta probably was the first to document the creature. Sailing with Ferdinand Magellan's circumnavigational expedition, he studied and chronicled the fauna on the island of Cimbonbon as the fleet hauled ashore for repairs. During this time he documented the Phyllium species with the following passage:
Verse 1:
I've been watching your mama for a long time
And that bitch is fine
Every time I go to her house
She kiss me on the cheek
And fix me something to eat
I know the bitch freaky, yo check it
Cause every time I see her
She walking around half-naked
I'm checking out her underwear
And when she sit down, I can see her pussy hair
And my dick getting bigger by the minute
I'm thinking about the pussy, wishing I was in it
She want me to cut your grass
But I'm thinking about cutting that ass
And I believe I can get them draws
365 cause she passed menopause
I wanna dive in
And bust a nut on them goddamn Depends
Hope she's like you
Cause I'm a make her sing on the mike like Marilyn Macoo
So before you go to sleep tonight
You should know that I'm a be trying to fuck your mama
Verse 2:
Now you can get mad, ho
But you the one had me taking her to play bingo
Picking her up from church, taking her shopping
I was with it but your daddy could've did it
I'm making these confessions
Cause she wearing them tight-ass dresses
I wanna knock the boots and the socks
Hit her with this big fat cock and let your daddy watch
What a great adventure
When I make her suck my dick and knock out them dentures
Don't look so astounded
When I first met her, I told you she was well-rounded
You should've known shit wasn't right
Cause she always taking my side when we fight
And when I go over, she turn on the 8-track
And me and her go way back
Your old man ain't hitting it right
That bitch needs some young pipe
And I'm the motherfucking plumber
I wanna fuck your mama
Verse 3:
I wanna fuck your mama, girl
And have that pussy dripping like a wet jheri curl
When I hit it like a Green Bay Packer
And make that pussy pop like a firecracker
It's hard to concede
But why else would I be painting her house for free?
It ain't for my health
Cause I can make her climb them walls
And take all those Geritols
Whenever I call for you
She telling me all this shit she been through
How she nearly had a heart attack eating chili
And how your pops can't operate his Mr. Willie
She wasn't saying that cause I'm her son-in-law
She want me to stick this bone in her
And you know I'm a do my duty
I had a dream about busting a nut in her booty
And rubbing my cum in her face
And letting that freak have a goddamn taste
I'm a tell you straight up cause I know you hate the drama