One-act play

Janet Reno

[Intro: Anquette, backed up by "Dragnet" theme]
In our town we have a State Attorney by the name of Janet Reno
She locks brothers up for not paying their child support
In your town you may have someone just like her
[the beat kicks in]
You think you're so slick, that you won't have to pay
You slay, get a baby, then run away
Oh, but I got a trick for your monkey ass
The boys that don't pay get cased up fast
You ?answer to? Janet Reno and she lays the law
And when she's through with you, you'll wish you never saw
Me or the baby or the place where we met
Digging up old gold that you wish you could forget
The proof is here, it's livin and breathin
And Janet Reno's makin sure that I start receivin
All the money you get, all the checks you make
Janet Reno will make sure and TAKE
[singing to the tune of "Yankee Doodle"]
Janet Reno comes to town collecting all the money
You stayed one day, then ran away, and started actin funny
She caught you down on 15th Ave., you tried to hide your trail
She found your ass and locked you up, now WHO can post no bail?
(Bust it!)
You're out in your 'vert, dickin her down
You start to get ?babblin? when Reno comes around
You start changing your looks, your clothes and your car
You're not a mama's boy, you're a projects star
It's time to pay your dues, I mean pay in full
Janet's in control, you ain't got no pull
You can't boss around like the boys on the ave.
And slowly but surely I'm gettin all that you have
From your bad-ass suits to your Revlon cologne
Your diamond rings, gold rope and everything you own
Will get taken and then you be sad to the max
And I'll even get your income tax
[singing to the tune of "Charlie Brown" by the Coasters]
He walks in a courtroom, cool and slow
And calls Janet Reno a no good dirty hoe
She locks yo ass up, now you don't know what to do
The boys on the ave. are sure dissin you
(Hit it!)
Janet Reno gets justice for all
You can solve your problem with a phone call
So if you have a problem that you want resolved
Just straighten it out when you get in court
Put your faith in her and you won her respect
And if it's up to her you get all your checks
She helped me out of a jam, I'm doin well on my own
It could be the same for yours, been proven and shown
[singing to the tune of "This Old Man"]
Yes my man had a Brougham
But this time he's not drivin it home
With a knick-knack-slam-splack, you hit it, now you're gone
Now I'm 'round town just pushin your Brougham
The next time you start to make a selection
Make sure that you got some protection
Think twice the next time before you jump right in the bed