Mike Bate

The Pig Must Die

He dreamed that he stood in a shadowy Court,
Where the Snark, with a glass in his eye,
Dressed in gown, bands, and wig, was defendig a pig
On a charge of deserting its sty.
(Barrister)
I dreamed last night I was standing in a court of Law,
And the Snark was the Counsel for Defence,
He was trying to establish the innocence,
Of a pig that I clearly saw,
As stated hereinbefore
In a Court of Law.
And while I was standing in a Court of Law,
The jury talked so they missed a lot,
And some were listening and some were not,
So the judge cried, "I implore,
Bring it down to a deafening roar,
In this Court of Law".
(Barrister Jury)
Let's teach it a lesson it'll never forget
For a devious deed it will live to regret,
It's clear that the pig must die.
We're of the opinion the pig must pay,
We can't let it live for another day,
We fear if the rules apply,
It's clear that the pig must die.
(Barrister)
The Snark replied, "I beg you my learned friends,
For it seems to me with the naked eye
That the pig can live or the pig can die,
And its happiness all depends
On the mercy that now extends
From my learned friends."
(Jury)
Let's teach it a lesson it'll never forget
For a devious deed it will live to regret,
It's clear that the pig must die.
(Barrister Jury)
We're of the opinion the pig must pay,
We can't let it live for another day,
We fear if the rules apply,
It's clear that the pig must die.
Let's teach it a lesson it'll never forget
For a devious deed it will live to regret,
It's clear that the pig must die.
We're of the opinion the pig must pay,
We can't let it live for another day,
We fear if the rules apply,
It's clear that the pig must die.
Then the snark pronounced sentence, the Judge being quite
Too nervous to utter a word;
When it rose to its feet, there was silence like night
And the fall of pin might be heard.
(Barrister)
Let's teach it a lesson it'll never forget
For a devious deed it will live to regret,
It's clear that the pig must die.
(Barrister Jury)
We're of the opinion the pig must pay,
We can't let it live for another day,
We fear if the rules apply,
It's clear that the pig must die.
But their wild exultation was suddenly checked
When the jailer informed them with tears
Such a sentence would have not the slightest effect,
As the pig had been dead for some years.