This article contains information about fictional characters in the television series Farscape.
John Robert Crichton, Jr. /ˈkraɪtən/, played by Ben Browder, is an International Aeronautics and Space Administration (most commonly referred to on the show as IASA) astronaut who, in the opening few minutes of the pilot episode, is accidentally catapulted through a wormhole across the universe, thus setting the scene for the show as a whole. As the only regularly appearing human on the show, he is the main focus and is the main character as he narrates the weekly credits and is the only character to appear in every episode. Along with Michael Shanks' character of Daniel Jackson in Stargate SG-1, Browder's Crichton has been called one of the sexiest male characters in science fiction.
Although Crichton is a heroic and unwaveringly loyal character, he is also a mischievously comical one, so much so that he is the primary source of humor for the series. The show derives much of its humor from Crichton's habitual (and extensive) use of Earth-related pop culture references, often used as witty mockery in the face of danger or opponents who, being unfamiliar with the references, are unaware that they are being insulted. Although an occasional reference will provoke curiosity or confusion to his friends, Crichton's fellow shipmates are largely unaffected by these comments because they simply assume them to be native Earth terms that cannot be interpreted by translator microbes and merely extrapolate the meaning from its context.
Once I bought a curious bottle,
Once I bought a bottle for fun.
Tell me what you gonna do with the bottle
When the curiousity's done.
Well I brought it out to the Bo Bo's party
Then I got it in to the company,
Then I brought it up to the boys in the backroom,
They got the knack to tune in on me,
Then I brought it up to the boys in the backyard.
I find it hard to hold on me,
I find it hard to hold, I find it hard to hold,
I find it hard to hold on me, I find it hard to hold on me,
I find it hard to hold, hard to hold, hard to hold.
You know, I've been bad, but
I would be good instead.
Ah, if my man did half of the things that he said,
I wouldn't have to go to the Bo Bo's party
I wouldn't have to go to the company,
I wouldn't have to go to the boys in the backroom,
With their knack to tune in on me,
I wouldn't have to go to the boys in the backyard.
I find it hard to hold on me,
I find it hard to hold, I find it hard to hold,
I find it hard to hold on me, I find it hard to hold on me,
I find it hard to hold, hard to hold, hard to hold.
You know, I've been bad, but
I would be good instead.
Ah, if my man did half of the things that he said,
I wouldn't have to go to the Bo Bo's party
I wouldn't have to go to the company,
I wouldn't have to go to the boys in the backroom,
With their knack to tune in on me,
I wouldn't have to go to the boys in the backyard.
I find it hard to hold on me,
I find it hard to hold on me,
I find it hard to hold.