Matt Watts (born May 31, 1975) is a Canadian comedian, actor and writer.
Best known for his work on Ken Finkleman's The Newsroom, he has recently been working for CBC Radio One, writing and performing in the dramas Steve, The First, its sequel Steve, The Second and Canadia: 2056. He is also a writer of and star in the Canadian television sitcom Michael, Tuesdays and Thursdays, which debuted on CBC Television in September, 2011.
Waves of green everywhere
No ship for long long time
And Jolly Roger upstairs
Is tired of this dull sight
Once my hands were so sexy
But they satisfy me no more
Captain, we need a woman!
And if you have none in store
Give me a shark, give me a shark
Why don't you give me a shark
Give me a shark, give me a shark
You gotta give me a shark
Maybe they are far from perfection
And maybe you don't like their teeth
But sharks are the only girlfriends
Of lonely buccaneers
Sharks never nag you drink and swear
And they are always around
Sure you have heard of mermaids
They are fruits of pirate's love
Sail across the ocean
And bring me to the land
But sharks with all devotion