Masculinity

MASCULINITY

Georges:
I want you to pick up that piece of toast like a man!
Think of this as
Masculine toast and Masculine butter,
Ready for spreading by a Masculine hand.
Pick up that knife and make believe it's a machete.
It'll take all your strength and steady nerves
For hacking your way through the cherry preserves.
Think of John Wayne, and Jean Paul Belmondo.
Think of the Legionnaires and Charlemagne's men.
So like a stevedore you grab your cup
And if God forbid that your pinky pops up,
You can climb back up the mountain once again.
Georges:
Have you got that?
Albin:
I think so!
Georges:
Don't think so! You're a man!
Albin:
I'm a man!
Renaud:
You're a man!
Albin:
I'm a man!
Mme. Renaud:
You're a man!
Albin:
I said I'm a man.
Mme. Renaud:
Oh, Albin
Georges:
About that voice of yours.
Grunt like an ape, and growl like a tiger.
Give us a roaring, snorting masculine laugh!
Albin:
Ah ah ah ah ah ah!
Georges:
Try to remember that John Wayne was not soprano
Try making it rough and gruff and low.
Albin:
Ha Ha!
Georges:
Try more of John Wayne and less Brigitte Bardodt!
Renaud:
Think of De Gaulle and pick up Rasputin.
Mme. Renaud:
Think like you're Daniel marching into the den.
Georges:
While trying to join the burly brutes,
If you forget that your nylons are under your boots
Georges, Renaud, Mme. Renaud and Francis:
You can climb back up the mountain once again...
All:
Think Ghengis Kan (Think!)
and think Taras Bulba (Think!)
(Think! Think! Think!)
Think of Atilla's Huns and Robin Hood's men.
(Hup! Hup!)
Try not to weaken or collapse;
If they discover the petticoat under your chaps
You can climb back up the mountain once again.
Woah! Yeah!