Kitty Empire is the pen name of a British writer and music critic, currently writing for The Observer.
Empire was born in Montreal, Quebec in 1970 and brought up in Canada, Italy and Egypt before arriving in Britain in 1988. Empire studied at Wadham College, Oxford and Thames Valley University before working as a stage door-keeper for the Royal Shakespeare Company and London's Barbican Theatre. Empire began writing about music at the NME in 1995, continuing for seven years. In 2002 she became pop critic for The Observer. She has also contributed to a variety of publications and broadcasts such as Elle (US), GQ, Radio 4's Woman's Hour, Newsnight Review, Uncut and The Scotsman. In 2007, she served as a judge for the Mercury Music Prize.
The Emperor makes his rounds, Master of all Cats
Fat in the Midwest, Emperor rolls his little balls -- Catland
Says hi to his pal Walter, for all that smoking in the backyard
The neighbors do not understand, he's an aberration
Even makes a funny noise
He plays great hunter with a ball-point pen
When the cat's away, ah, it's a regular rat day
When the rat's away, ah, King Cat, King Cat can play day
I jump around with my wang in the wind
It flops around, you admired it
I am your neighbor now
You can't stop me now
In exchange??, I will even run a mm mm mm??
If not, then all I want is something else
You'll do anything for me
In exchange, I'll piss on everything you value
I am the Emperor of Cats
I do what I want now, cats
I do what I want now, cats
I shit outside if I want to