Joe Bob Briggs

John Irving Bloom (born January 27, 1953), who uses the pseudonym Joe Bob Briggs, is a syndicated American film critic, writer and comic performer.

Early years

Bloom was born in Dallas, Texas, the son of Thelma Louise (née Berry) and Rudolph Lewis Bloom. He was raised in Little Rock, Arkansas, and attended Vanderbilt University on a sports-writing scholarship. He began his writing career at Texas Monthly and Dallas Times Herald. While a movie reviewer at the Herald, he created the humorous persona of "Joe Bob Briggs" to review exploitation films and other genre films.

Persona

Briggs's acting persona is that of an unapologetic redneck Texan with an avowed love of the drive-in theatre. He specializes in humorous but appreciative reviews of b-movies and cult films, which he calls drive-in movies (as distinguished from "indoor bullstuff"). In addition to his usual parody of urbane, high-brow movie criticism, his columns characteristically include colorful tales of woman-troubles and high-spirited brushes with the law, tales which inevitably conclude with his rush to catch a movie at a local drive-in, usually with female companionship. The reviews typically end with a brief rating of the "high points" of the movie in question, including the types of action (represented by nouns naming objects used in fight scenes suffixed with -fu), the number of bodies, number of female breasts bared, the notional number of pints of blood spilled, and for appropriately untoward movies a "vomit meter". A typical such concluding paragraph would be, "No dead bodies. One hundred seventeen breasts. Multiple aardvarking. Lap dancing. Cage dancing. Convenience-store dancing. Blindfold aardvarking. Blind-MAN aardvarking. Lesbo Fu. Pool cue-fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Tane McClure. Joe Bob says check it out." ("Aardvarking" is one of many euphemisms Briggs employs in reference to sexual intercourse.)

Podcasts:

Famous quotes by Joe Bob Briggs:

"If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it "romance and adventure.""
"Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke."
"Faith is like a kernel of wheat."
"The Italians always made good wine, but you had the impression they were friendly guys in straw hats running family vineyards with slaves or something so that the vino was never more than ten bucks a bottle."
"There is no post-9/11. Everything from now until the end of time is post-9/11."
"It's not a crime to get drunk."
"I AM a male chauvinist. Who's been saying otherwise?"
"Discourse is fleeting, but junk mail is forever."
"Everything changed in Bosnia, when General Wesley Clark proved that you could fight a war with high- level precision air strikes and a bare minimum of ground action."
"Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's."
"In some European theaters, it's still not uncommon to have a late start and three LONG intermissions, because people actually eat and drink and converse during the intermissions."
"In other words, New York has gone all suburban and bourgeois on us."
"A universal draft is most often the instrument of Third World dictators."
"The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother."
"As I've said many times, the single most oppressed class in America right now is the teenager."
PLAYLIST TIME:

Latest News for: Joe Bob Briggs

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Finn Russell orchestrates seven-try win for leaders Bath over porous Harlequins

The Observer 30 Mar 2025
Read more ... Joe Cokanasiga got things going with a strong finish in the corner, holding off the challenge of Rodrigo Isgro, who was lucky to escape a straight red for a head-on-head hit ... View image in fullscreen ... Bob Bradford/CameraSport/Getty Images ... .
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Newsday's Top 10 baseball pitchers on Long Island for the 2025 season

Newsday 30 Mar 2025
The arms have it. They always have an edge early in the spring season on high school hitters trying to find their rhythm and get their timing down ... Holy Trinity slipped past Chaminade 3-2; St ... Bob Sorensen. Miller Place coach Joe Mancini said of Frusco.
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Photos and video: Enough bites for memories on Brule River opener

Duluth News Tribune 30 Mar 2025
But once lunchtime hit, he’d concede the bragging rights to his dad, Joe DiFrancesco. Joe lost a fish about 10 minutes earlier, but right around 12.02 p.m., in the same spot his son had success, he’d cast a pink worm and felt a strike.
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Who won NASCAR Xfinity Martinsville race? Winner is Austin Hill, plus full results

The Tennessean 30 Mar 2025
Smith finished in 10th, while Gray finished in 29th ... 19 Joe Gibbs Racing ToyotaParker Retzlaff, No ... 18 Joe Gibbs Racing ToyotaBrandon Jones, No. 20 Joe Gibbs Racing ToyotaConnor Zilisch, No ... 54 Joe Gibbs Racing ToyotaCarson Ware, No.
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Furlong: Starting nine Lions Tests in a row… that would be an accolade

The Times/The Sunday Times 30 Mar 2025
A mere ten seconds after he’d trotted on to the Stadio Olimpico turf alongside fellow replacement Joe McCarthy, a turbo- boosted Ireland maul churned up a try for Dan Sheehan.
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Sophie Turner is set to return to the UK with her daughters amid bitter custody ...

The Daily Mail 30 Mar 2025
British actress Sophie Turner and her ex-husband Joe Jonas have agreed she will return to the UK with her daughters ... British actress Turner and her ex-husband Joe Jonas have agreed she will return to the UK with her daughters ... .
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Now streaming and on DVD: 'A Complete Unknown' fills in the Dylan blanks

Atlantic City 30 Mar 2025
Before you see Bob Dylan in concert (yup, he’s on tour), you might want to learn a bit about those early days ... .
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APTOPIX Italy Cortina Sliding Tracks

Dispatch Argus 30 Mar 2025
Construction work takes place at the Cortina Sliding Center, venue for the bob, luge and skeleton disciplines at the Milan Cortina 2026 Winter Olympics, in Cortina D'Ampezzo, Italy, on Tuesday ... .
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Milan Cortina Sliding Track

Dispatch Argus 30 Mar 2025
Construction work takes place at the Cortina Sliding Center, venue for the bob, luge and skeleton disciplines at the Milan Cortina 2026 Winter Olympics, in Cortina d'Ampezzo, Italy, in this Jan. 16 file photo ... .
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Lindsey Hilsum recalls taking woman and children’s last words in Rwanda genocide

AOL 30 Mar 2025
On the show, the journalist picked Bob Dylan’s Hurricane, which she said told the story of boxer Rubin Carter’s false imprisonment “better than (journalists) ever could”, Big Brother And The Holding ...
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Q&A with Joe Fasula

The Scranton Times-Tribune 30 Mar 2025
Joe Fasula, the owner of ...
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The 7 Best New Shows on Netflix in April 2025

Collider 30 Mar 2025
Since its premiere in 2018, You has both captured and terrified the hearts of audiences thanks to the charismatic Joe Goldberg (Penn Badgley) ... ....
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I thought my great-grandfather fled the Nazis — the truth was more complicated

The Times/The Sunday Times 30 Mar 2025
Sometimes the stories families tell about themselves are better left unquestioned ... Joe Dunthorne decided not to leave the past unquestioned — and the result is this enigmatic family memoir ... Culture. Books. Related articles. REVIEW . MAX HASTINGS ... REVIEW ... .
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The Spring Trader Joe's Item Each Zodiac Sign Wants to Try

The Capital Journal 30 Mar 2025
Spring 2025 has sprung with these fun, tasty treats from Trader Joe's! ....
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Twins off to a slow start they could ill afford

The Athletic 30 Mar 2025
Despite a good outing from starting pitcher Joe Ryan, the offense was held in check again as the Cardinals downed the Twins 5-1 on Saturday ....
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